I have struggled (for what seems like an eternity) with such a simple principle of the gospel—faith. It is something that we sing about being like a seed, if planted it will grow and other pretty simple concepts. But faith, for me, it is not always so simple. I seem to question myself way too often. Do I have faith? Do I have enough faith? And just what is faith? And how can I have it if I don’t even know exactly what it is?
I tend to worry. These days I worry about my kids dying of the swine flu, and if or when my cancer will come back (again dying), and will the lymph nodes in my neck go down, and what will happen next, and please let nothing bad ever happen to us again. And then my faith departs and I can’t see out of all of the black clouds of the worries.
Repeat this process over and over….and you have the story of my life. The worries used to be, will I ever get married, will I ever have children, will I be happy, will I ever __________(fill in the blank.)
But today I found a glimpse of an answer….
I found the story of President Hinckley [15th president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints] talking to a young Korean man who had joined the church and was about to return to his home country and family. President Hinckley asked him what his family and others were going to think now that he was a Christian.
His response to President Hinckley was “It’s true, isn’t it?”
President Hinckley replied to him, “Yes, it’s true.”
The young man’s response, “Then what else matters?”
That was my answer.
Do I believe that there is a God that knows me, loves me and my family more than I can comprehend, and knows what is best for each of us?
Yes. With all my heart.
Do I believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that I can return with my husband and children sealed to me, to live with Heavenly Father?
Then, seriously, what else matters?
(Can I sharpie that to my forehead next time I even start to question myself?)
I’m glad that you’re healthy now. It’s completely understandable to have those ‘what if’ questions when you’ve previously been through something like cancer. You realize that having faith doesn’t exclude us from really difficult things. Things working out in the end means we’ll be happy with Heavenly Father, after all is said and done.
Sweet Elizabeth….how precious was your post. I struggle with those same feelings at times. I have absolutely no doubt about the truthfulness of the Gospel. Why is it then, that we, as precious daughters of a loving Heavenly Father have doubts, lack faith? I think that so much of it has to do with the world today. We are so busy, so inundated by the things of the world, that we lose track of whose we are. I don’t suggest a sharpie to the forehead, but I do use dry erase markers on the mirror in my bathroom! At times, I barely can see to put make-up on there are so many ‘gentle reminders’!
We have had a lot of “bad” things happen to us over the years and in today’s world with so much “bad” happening, it leaves me feeling very insecure, as if there just aren’t enough resources to go around and that if “bad” things keep happening, I won’t get the help but I need. This post really touched me b/c I realize that this feeling is a lack of faith. The Lord has always been there for me, even if people haven’t been, and He will have no reason to stop if I don’t give Him one. Thanks so much for the reminder.
What else matters…indeed. Excellent post, full of faith and truth.