We received this question from RJJ and I thought it would be worth answering it in a post. As always, posts at this site do not represent an official Church response, but we seek to share content that is consistent with the Church’s teachings.
RJJ’s question:
Okay so, I have a bit of a spiel before I get to my question, here goes. I am a gay man, and I’d say I’m out and proud, and very happy with my lifestyle, I have friends who follow the Mormon teachings and they are genuinely accepting of my lifestyle and loving, dear friends on top of that acceptance. I don’t believe in any religion myself but I’m respectful of others beliefs, and I’d like to think I’m extremely at peace with my friends and their faith and beliefs (I come from the UK and have a very varied pool of friends with extremely varied belief systems). From what I can gather in research and from my friends is that the Church of LDS is against not homosexuality itself, but homosexual acts, as the sin is in the behaviour, not the predisposition to act sinfully, and that one of the reasons the Church is against homosexuality is that homosexual acts take place outside of marriage. This leads me into my question, if the law of the land were to change to allow same-sex marriage would that then, in your opinion. possibly lead the Church to a new stance on the issue of homosexuality? I ask this here because this seems like a level headed forum of ideas and you give more casual advice and guidance than the official Church of LDS, and also because I have a great respect for Mormons in general, I’ve never met an unkind or impolite Mormon (and manners are rated very highly by me) and as a whole the organised religion of the Church of LDS doesn’t seem to want to condemn anyone, I may be wrong but as far as I can see it’s more about praising goodness and faith then condemning sinners to hell, and I can get on board with that ideal. Thank you for any light you can shed on this issue, hope all is well.
RJJ, thanks for your question. First of all, thank you for your kind words; I’m glad to hear that your experiences with members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have been positive. We also appreciate the respectful tone of your question, and I hope that something I say might be helpful.
You are correct in the sense that the Church has taken a position that focuses on behavior and not on inclination (after all, we all have inclination to sin in one way or another). You have likely heard or read stories from members of the Church who have same-sex attraction and are able to be, as we say, “members in good standing” if they live the law of chastity (no sexual relationships outside of marriage).
And you ask a reasonable question.. If I’m understanding it correctly (and please let me know if I’m misunderstanding your question), you are wondering what will happen if and as the law of the land shifts around the definition of marriage. Will the Church would ever change its position to accommodate same-sex relationships within a legal marriage?
You have asked for my opinion, and I will give it here. I do not believe that the Church will change its position on the law of chastity to accommodate same-sex relationships, even as the law of the land is changing. Why do I think this? I am one who likes to watch patterns in what our prophets are teaching, and something that they are very consistent about is making our stand about marriage unmistakably clear. They also recognize that the laws may change, but they have repeatedly stated that God’s laws will not.
I could share many quotes that show this pattern. I think the following quote can suffice to illustrate what kind of teaching I’m referring to. This is from Elder Dallin H. Oaks, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Before his call, he was a Supreme Court Justice in Utah. He understands both our doctrines as well as the legal elements of questions like the one you have posed.
Our understanding of God’s plan and His doctrine gives us an eternal perspective that does not allow us to condone such behaviors or to find justification in the laws that permit them. And, unlike other organizations that can change their policies and even their doctrines, our policies are determined by the truths God has identified as unchangeable…. [L]aws legalizing so-called “same-sex marriage” do not change God’s law of marriage or His commandments and our standards concerning it.
The doctrine of marriage between a man and woman is central to our belief system. The law of chastity — that commandment, the standard related to sexual relationships — is inextricably tied to that doctrine of marriage as we believe it has been defined by God.
No, we do not seek to condemn, but we do seek to share what we believe because we do believe that the commandments of God are for all of His children. We invite people to learn about the eternal nature of our existence as children of heavenly parents, the plan of salvation (which includes the doctrine of marriage and the purpose of life), about the Savior and His commandments and covenants (and why they exist), and about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
But then we seek to respect the right of people to choose what they will believe and do in their own lives. Thank you again for your respectful engagement here. I do hope this has been of some help, but please do feel free to follow up if you have more questions.
Just pondering my own thoughts about this question that this nice gentleman asked, as I was already reflecting on this today and wondering where this re-defining of marriage and family is leading us.
I can’t help but think, how could God change His law on this, even if He wanted to? We, LDS, know He is a God of truth from eternity to eternity, so His laws are laws of truth. From the time of Adam and Eve it has taken a man and a woman to have a child. No one can dispute that. No one can change that. How can families or people be perpetuated without both man and woman?
I know 2 married Lesbians, members of our church. They have a daughter, but she is only the natural child, the blood child, of one spouse, because obviously she had to get artificially inseminated. If 2 married men had a child, they either have to adopt or get a woman to carry their child–again, only possible to be the blood of one spouse at a time. So there is no way through same sex marriage to perpetuate a pure blood line–meaning the blood of both parents. If there was no other way to do this than by natural means only, then families and people would become extinct and that would frustrate God’s plan for His children.
Of course that doesn’t mean that same-sex parents can’t love their children or be as good of a parent, but it still denies a child a parent of each sex, which offers a child something you just couldn’t get from parents of same sex. So truth can only stand with God’s law, that marriages and families are perpetuated with a man and a woman.
I believe that God has a perfect plan for each one of us, that He knows the end from the beginning, and He only wants the best possible welfare and eternal salvation that each of us can possibly attain. But I also believe that from Eternity to Eternity He is the same, and His laws will never change, but will stand to the end of time and on into eternity.
I don’t know how old this page is. I live in the uk i am a male who is straight as far as i am aware same sex marriage is possible legally in the uk. I don’t think this is possible within the mormon religion or church. I myself have read the whole book of Mormon when i was younger it took about 2 weeks every day after school and as far as i can remember i can understand my thoughts after reading and why it may be condemned. I started speaking to Mormon missionary’s in my city and took their number more recently i am 24yo. I asked them the question about same sex marriage by text and they told me they don’t believe in that. It put me off a bit as i have friends that are bisexuals or whatever you want to call it. I am not very religious but i do respect others beliefs. Just thought i would share my thoughts.