“Something’s gotta give,” Micke thought after she failed several of her college courses last semester. Between church, homeschooling, her own college courses, and caring for her four kids alone while her husband was away with the Navy, something really did have to give.
And something did give. Her desire for perfection.
“My life is crazy. My floor is dirty, I have piles of laundry. But I am happy because I know that I am a daughter of God.”
A few months ago, Micke felt the prompting to go back to school. She spoke with her husband and he said, “If it’s a prompting you need to follow it.” So she signed up for classes and failed miserably. Micke felt her failure was actually part of the prompting, “If I had not failed, I would not have been able to I realize that I was overwhelmed.”
Micke decided to stop homeschooling her children and enrolled them in public school. “After I enrolled my kids in public school, I felt better about all of the issues I had with my children’s education. I wanted the opportunity to teach my kids to be independent learners, and I got that opportunity during the years I offered homeschooling to my children. After a few days in the new school, my fears about them adjusting were gone. My fears about them being behind were gone. We got some really great teachers. I hit it off with them immediately. The kids made friends right away. To me that was that was a confirmation that I had made the right choice. I definitely know that enrolling my kids in public school was the right choice for my family, so I am so thankful for that prompting.”
When asked what she really wanted to share with other women Micke replied, “I want to let other women know that there isn’t a perfection standard. Just because my house isn’t perfect or dinner is not a five-course meal does not affect my worth. That does not change how Heavenly Father sees me. I feel like I have reached that point, that I am in a season in my life with my husband gone, and me alone, that it comes down to me and Heavenly Father. I’ve reached a point where I’m at peace with myself and what God feels about me.
“I understand the feelings of inadequacy women have,” Micke continues. “I’ve looked across the aisles at church and school and seen families whose kids are well-behaved and their husband is home and they are all dressed immaculately, and I’ve thought, “Why isn’t my life like that?” But now, I’m OK with the fact that my situation is different than theirs. It all goes back to my priorities. Is it more important that my floor is spotless or that I sit down and play a board game with my kids? Is it more important that dinner is made from scratch or we got to sit together and read books, or take the dog for a walk or went for family bike rides? In 10 years from now I want my kids to remember how we watched movies every Friday night and ate popcorn until we passed out. If I relieve one woman’s perfection burden today, than I will have achieved my goal with this interview.”
When asked what it means to be a Mormon Woman Micke responded, “Being a woman in the Church, I feel like I have a better understanding of who I am, why I’m here and what my purpose is. I have a better understanding of how important my role as a mother is. I have a better understanding of what an impact I have as a mother to my children in teaching them the gospel foundation I set for them in their lives and how important that is. I feel like I have a better understanding as my role as a wife. I am a partner to my husband. We know that our marriage doesn’t end here when we die. Knowing that there is something else after this life for our marriage makes me want to work harder here to make my marriage better. I think that those aspects of our religion are huge for me personally. I think it has given my life more purpose because I know there is a reward for the hard work here.”
Micke has lived her entire life in Wisconsin, USA and currently lives on the outskirts of Milwaukee. She has been married to her husband, Justin, for 11 years and has four children ranging from 9 years to 9 months. Justin is currently serving in the United States Navy as an airman and is considering moving forward into Officer Candidate school.