How I Stand for the Family — by Monica

Thanks to Monica for this guest post. How do you stand for the family? Submit your guest post to mormonwomen at gmail d’ com. 

I’m not really sure how to write this. I only ever discuss controversial things with my husband because I know that he will still love me and not think worse of me. But my heart has been stilled and I think now is the time to attempt to find words for the thoughts in my heart. I hope that my friends are still friends, even if we now find ourselves in opposite fields of view.

I believe in love, that it is our guiding force, our most prized possession, and one of the most inspiring emotions. I guess that is why this debate is so close to our hearts. We don’t want anyone to feel hate. We want to give our love wings and not have to admit that sometimes our imperfect human love can be wrong. I have loved the wrong people in my life. Love in and of itself is not wrong, but can be misplaced and misused. Love can be a strong willed emotion and run away with our hearts.

I hold a strong belief in my God and what he has spoken to me. He has spoken to me in many ways and we’ve discussed many things. I also know that not everyone has heard Him. If I had not heard Him I would believe many different things than I do now.

So I can see how I would think if I did not know the things I do. I believe that all men are created equal. I believe that people should be treated equally. Equality is a sentiment that speaks to the godlike qualities in all of us. But I know that though mankind is inherently good, our knowledge and understanding is limited. We have been given wonderful gifts to be able to reason together and find truth in the world, but we have only found a tiny portion of the truth that is out there to be told. We cannot understand all things, but we must stand by the things we know and allow ourselves the room and the time to be able to learn the rest.

I do know beyond anything I can form into words that God loves His children and desires for them all to be happy. All of them. Every single one. I also know that he wants us to feel love for another and experience the beauty and strength of family through the sacred institution of marriage between man and woman.

For some of you those two concepts seam mutually exclusive, but to me they coexist peacefully. Please do not think that I believe that some deserve happiness and not others. Please do not think that I believe that some are more worthy of love than others. Please do not think that I believe that some should have more rights than others. Please do not believe that I do not understand why others feel differently or that I can not respect them and their beliefs. I believe that people are created differently with separate and glorious traits and wonderful but different roles to fill and challenges to face. Each is an individual and deserves to be treated uniquely, not exactly the same as every other, but with respect to their own challenges and successes, according to their own needs.

I want to love everyone. I have troubles sometimes, but the great commandment to love your neighbor as yourself is one of my favorites. It is hard to disagree with someone you love, to risk losing relationships with best friends, ex-lovers, neighbors, and friends because you stand for different things. But my hope is that just as I respect any person who stands up to protect and honor another person, they will respect me for standing for what I believe what I believe will protect my family. I have respect for those that wish to formally acknowledge the sacrifice of committed relationships. However, I have greater respect for the Creator who knows all truth and created all people. He can tell how all things work and I cannot, so I must rely on His guidance to navigate the murky water of mortal experience and cling to the truth I do know.

I know that families matter and must be protected. So I stand with the family, for traditional marriage, and for the divine roles of men and women.

I hope my friends are still friends. I hope we can stand for different things and still stand next to each other, that we can hold our beliefs and still hold each other in our hearts. We each must choose what we believe will bring the world closer to whatever heaven we seek. Hopefully we can still travel along with each other and one day learn from our Father just how this all fits and how much He truly loves us.

Monica Lynn is wifey and momma dedicated to making life beautiful. You can follow her adventures at {domestic artistry}

From the February 2014 Ensigns article “Get Informed, Get Involved”:

As the ways of the world become increasingly distant from the Lord’s ideals, members of the Church will find themselves needing to speak up on issues of common concern. President Gordon B. Hinckley warned that a small minority may “make their voices heard until those in our legislatures may come to believe that what they say represents the will of the majority.” He reminded us that “we are not likely to get that which we do not speak up for.

“Let our voices be heard. I hope they will not be shrill voices, but I hope we shall speak with such conviction that those to whom we speak shall know of the strength of our feeling and the sincerity of our effort. Remarkable consequences often flow from a well-written letter and a postage stamp. Remarkable results come of quiet conversation with those who carry heavy responsibilities.”⁹

Such a proposition may be daunting—to voice unpopular views and to stand up for our opinions and beliefs when others may disagree—but when we stand with the Lord, we never stand alone.

Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “My challenge is that we join with people of all faiths who feel accountable to God in defending religious freedom so it can be a beacon for morality. We caution you to be civil and responsible as you defend religious liberty and moral values. We ask that you do this on the Internet and in your personal interactions in the neighborhoods and communities where you live. Be an active participant, not a silent observer.”¹⁰