Heartfelt thanks to Sidreis for sharing her story about her struggle with and recovery from sexual addiction. The healing power of the Savior is real!
You can read more from Sidries on her blog, http://www.bythelightofgrace.com. She’s also contributed a recovery story at the LDS Addiction Recovery website and has shared more about her faith at her mormon.org profile.
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My name is Sidreis. I am a married mother of 3 beautiful boys who keep me extremely busy. I also work full time as well as attend college part time. I am active in my ward and serve as a Relief Society instructor and visiting teacher.
I am also a daughter of God recovering from a sexual addiction. My addiction started when I was a very young girl simply born from unbridled curiosity that soon turned to more dangerous activity. By the time I was in my early teens I was bound by the chains of seeking out pornography and masturbation. The following 25+ years were wrought with feelings of the most self destructive worthlessness and hopelessness. I didn’t even feel worthy to set foot inside of a church building let a lone partake of the Sacrament or attend the Temple. Twice I have attempted to take my life to end the inner pain I was hiding. Only by the Grace of God and many watchful Angels am I blessed to still be alive.
My life seemed to be destined to be living proof of the truth Nephi spoke about when he cautioned us about the adversary’s tactics to ensnare us:
2 Nephi 26:22
“…yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever”
I was indeed bound by flaxen cords until I turned to my Savior and allowed Him to save me. That journey began almost three years ago on the day I finally found the courage to seek out my Bishop. That very day changed the course of my life and I now find refuge by resting in the arms of my Savior. It hasn’t been an easy road, but it has truly been worth it.
I am now sharing my story with the world of how the Atonement worked for me in hopes to spread hope of rescue for others who may be bound by sexual addiction.
As the above scripture once defined me, I answer back now with:
Helaman 5:12 (personalized):
“And now, my daughter, remember, remember that is upon the rock of your Redeemer, who is your elder brother Jesus Christ, my Son, that ye must build your foundation: that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if you build you cannot fall.”
I bear testimony that no one is beyond His reach. He loves us, each one. He will never leave us and will always be there, right next to us, guiding us, lifting us, sustaining us and continually cleansing our spiritual windshields so our vision of our path is clear. I am eternally grateful for this truth and for the ability granted to me to believe it.
I’ve been looking through your blog just now. I’m both moved and impressed. I was initially struck by a statement in the first paragraph of today’s post, and I had to keep reading. You said, “I simply allow the Savior to fight it for me while I concentrate on becoming like Him.” I know it’s much more complicated than it might sound on first hearing, but what a beautiful place to start! Best of luck with your journey, and thank you for having the courage to share it.