Read more about why a water lily is the image of choice for this post.
Over three and a half years ago, I was noticing a lot of traffic on our site from wives of men with pornography/sex addictions. At that time, there wasn’t anything on our site to help women in this situation, and I felt strongly impressed to post some stories.
A documentary called “Out in the Light” had just been released. I believe it was tender mercy timing. I was able to connect with Rhyll and Steven Croshaw, who shared their story here. Somehow, I was able to find a few more women who could share their experience as well. (See a link to an archive of personal stories.)
The traffic related to this topic continued to rise, and a steady stream of comments, questions, and emails made it clear that something more needed to be done. And so the site Hope and Healing was born. The site includes a public blog and a private forum, as well as a Facebook page. Over 600 women have registered for the forum since its inception, and the site was recently redesigned.
If you are a woman who has been affected by the sexual addiction of a spouse or loved one, please consider joining the forum. There are women there who understand the intensity of betrayal trauma and who share what is helping them find healing. There is a continuously-growing pool of resources available to help spouses. (Being a witness to this growing wealth of resources has been amazing. Miracles are happening!)
You are not alone. Healing is possible, and I have seen time and time again how God has a way of turning this terrible trial into bread as women work together to help each other, and to prepare the rising generation against this plague.
p.s. Even if you aren’t married to someone in addiction, I encourage you to get educated about sexual addiction. It is all around us, and we need to be aware so we can help our children, friends, and women all around us (credit becky). I firmly believe that women who are educated on this topic can help turn the tide.
p.s.s. Here are some of the other resources that have repeatedly been shared in the healing community and that are great resources for anyone interested in becoming more educated about sexual addiction.
Healing through Christ (free workbook for loved ones of addicts, and free phone meetings; 12-step)
Addo Recovery (See their six free videos on YouTube, plus many other free resources. They also have for-pay services.)
LifeStar (a three-phase, for-pay group program)
Rowboat and Marbles (a wealth of information about sexual addiction from the perspective of an LDS addict in recovery)
S-Anon and SAL meetings (12-step programs specifically designed for loved ones of sex addicts)
LDS Addiction Recovery Program
Books like Don Hilton’s He Restoreth My Soul, Rhyll Crowshaw’s What Can I do about Him Me?, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse and many more
Presentations, classes, research, etc. from therapists like Jill Manning, Geoff Steurer, Jeffrey Ford, Kevin Skinner, Adam Moore, Dorothy Maryon, and others
A beautiful post. Thanks for all your work in spreading hope and healing.
Why just for wives? Wouldn’t these resources apply well to husbands of women with sexual addictions?
Just saw this on LDS living! I can’t believe is been 3.5 years!
jdawg, some of the resources definitely could be used by men who are married to female addicts. Some of the resources, however, are catered just to women. (We often focus on resources for women here because most of our readership, or at least the traffic that we get on this topic, is from women.)
If you are facing this challenge of being married to someone in addiction, we highly encourage you to reach out for help, support, and healing. A 12-step meeting for loved ones (S-Anon, LDS ARP family support meetings, Healing through Christ), a support group program like LifeStar, a qualified therapist who understands addiction…these would all be good resources for you.
Here are some phone-in meetings that are available, sponsored by the Church.
Call-In Family Support Group – Wednesday – Family of those with a Pornography Addiction
Sandy Utah
Wednesday 8:00 pm
–Spouses and Families
–Men and Women
–English
855-537-4000 toll-free U.S. & Canada 801-240-9700 local/international
meeting ID 992 357 599
Call-In Family Support Group – Sunday 8 pm – Family of those with a Pornography Addiction
Sandy Utah
Sunday 8:00 pm
–Spouses and Families
–Men and Women
–English
1-855-537-4000 U.S & Canada toll free 801-240-9700 local/international
access code 990 393 393
Call-In Family Support Group – Sunday 7 pm – Family of those with a Pornography Addiction
Sandy Utah
Sunday 7:00 pm
–Spouses and Families
–Men and Women
–English
1-855-537-4000 U.S. & Canada toll-free 801-240-9700 local/international
access code 992 003 591
I am the executive director for the Northwest Coalition for Healthy Intimacy. We are an all-volunteer non-profit sponsoring an educational conference about healthy sexuality and recovery from sexual addiction. Our next conference– featuring Dr. Stefanie Carnes, one of the world experts on betrayal trauma and sex addiction– will be on Saturday, September 19, 2015 in Portland, Oregon at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. You can find more information on our website: http://healthyintimacy.net/ or you can purchase a DVD of last year’s conference here: http://www.healthyintimacy.net/product/september-2014-conf-dvd/ Thanks!