Q: Do all Mormons home school?

A:  No. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is an international church with members living all over the world and we typically follow the educational norms for our region whether that be public or private, home or boarding schools. A small portion of our members home school when they feel that they can provide a better educational environment at home, others happily send their kids to public school, still others send their children to private school. On occasion members will attend religious private schools provided by other religions – particularly in other countries where public schooling is not offered.

I send my kids to public school. We’ve had a good experience so far. But I am worried about middle school. I would not be opposed to pulling my kids out of school if they fell into the wrong friend group or if I felt they were being bullied by peers or mistreated by the adults at the school. I like having the option of home school and have sufficient education and formal teaching experience to educate my children at home. For now however, I like the education public school provides and my kids are happy.

The post Ask A Mormon Woman: Do all LDS Families Home School? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I always knew I’d finish my degree, but I didn’t know it would take me until I was 50 to do it. I had married John during my junior year of college, and we moved away and began having children. Since then I’d been a stay-at-home mom—the only job I ever wanted—but I planned to go back some day and finish what I started.

It seemed like the perfect time when three of our sons were students at the nearby university. I envisioned the four of us studying on the same floor of the library, meeting for lunch once a week, and even taking a class together. Then reality set in. I could only do a tiny fraction of my homework in the library. There wasn’t a single hour where we were all free at the same time, and taking a class together meant taking a nonsense class that wasted time and money.

So, it wasn’t quite like I imagined. In fact, it wasn’t at all like I imagined. The only studying I’d done in 20 years was to help with 5th grade math homework, and only because John was out of town. I couldn’t believe how much they expected me to read! And most challenging of all? I had to learn to use the computer. I was painfully slow at it, but by the end of the first semester, I could cut and paste without scissors, send mail without a stamp and browse without getting out of my chair.

There were other challenges as well. My son, Gary, describes the day he saw a woman across the campus courtyard, contorting and flailing her right arm while trying to get it under her backpack strap. I came from the era that didn’t know what “ergonomics” was, and we carried our backpacks slung over one shoulder, like a purse. But my aching back didn’t like that approach any more, and apparently, my strap was a little too tight, and as Gary drew closer he realized, “Oh my goodness. That’s my mom!” He hurried forward to help me, and probably to keep me from making a bigger fool of myself.

I was a piano performance major when I was a young student, but now, with two teenagers still at home, practicing 4-5 hours a day was out of the question. So I searched for another major. I had recently begun writing songs, and there was a major that sounded perfect for me: Media Music. The only problem was it would take me four years to graduate.

Wrong again. It took me six years. I struggled to complete assignments, and at least once a day, I said aloud, “What was I thinking?!” In the meantime, two of our sons graduated and moved on, and our daughter enrolled as a freshman. I often felt like I was just watching life through a window, not actually living it, and everyone seemed to be progressing but me. More than once, I told John I was quitting, but he encouraged me to hang in there. I was thankful for his support, and for reasonable professors and helpful students. And for Gary.

Gary had a full-time job, so it took him six years to finish, as well. When we discovered that we could graduate together in the spring of 2009, I had another reason to plow ahead.

Along with his own studies, Gary patiently listened to every version of every song, jingle, composition and film score piece I wrote. He has incredible taste in music, and he was my best critic. While most other people had the same reaction to everything (“I like it!”), Gary had the courage to tell me when it wasn’t good. Sometimes he even said, “I don’t like that at all.” Every once in a while, I played something for him for the first time, and he loved it. Then I knew I had something.

Finally, the big day came—April 24, 2009—and I underestimated once again. Only this time, I underestimated how great it would be. There was Gary, looking like a million bucks in his slightly wrinkled gown and his awkward hat, with his arm around me, introducing me to everyone he knew. “This is my mom,” and he seemed to be as proud of me as I was of him.

We took that long walk together, from the administration building, across the sky bridge, to the arena. We waited in the hallway until it was our turn. The announcer had been combining relatives all day (brother and sister, husband and wife), but when he saw our cards, he smiled and whispered, “Cool!” He announced, “Gary Edwards, graduating in biology, and his mother, Shawna Belt Edwards, graduating in music.” There was a long, loud applause from the audience while we posed for pictures, and as we walked off the stage, Gary asked, “Were they cheering for us?” I said it was because I was finally graduating and they were glad to get rid of me.

As the school year approaches, I feel a little nostalgic. I miss going to class, meeting new friends, and drinking in that wonderful back-to-school air. But more than that, I miss Gary, who has gone across the country to medical school. I miss how he makes me laugh at the stupidest things, rearranges my furniture and then puts it back again when I change my mind, plays Hoopla with me until 2 AM, does the dishes, watches American Idol with me, and carries my luggage on every trip. And of course, I miss his critique of my latest song.

Everybody takes a different path through life. Mine has been a little unusal, but I wouldn’t go back and do it differently. I wouldn’t choose to graduate when I was 22 or try to finish faster, or get my degree in something easier, because then I would have missed out on graduating with Gary – an experience that I will cherish forever.

The post Mormon Motherhood Moments: “Graduating with Gary” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

We’ll be highlighting a few of previous years’ talks here at Mormon Women this week so that wherever you are, you can enjoy a little of what Campus Education Week is all about.

BYU Education Week preview

Chronicle that history or put it in a narrative

Tips for living: Publishing your family history

LDS author gives ideas how to stretch your time

Bennett invites readers to take a ‘leap of faith’ [presentation on the Book of Mormon]

Fearful or fearless at final judgment

‘Tender mercies’ are personalized blessings from God

Chaos normal in motherhood

Nothing surprising in news content about Mormons in 1830

BYU Education Week: Joseph Smith, ‘The Seer Stone’

BYU Education Week: Handmaidens of the Lord

Joseph Smith ‘most influential’ 19th century American

Online predators often start with porn

Finding great movies for families, part two

Finding great movies for families

The Atonement can heal what we can’t’

Life lessons from the happy people of Nephi

Tests are gifts from God

What’s on the Prophet’s mind matters

BYU Education Week: Being positive to your spouse

BYU Education Week: Praying with sincerity

Learning to bear the harsh realities of life

Peterson: God of emotion tricky for other faiths

Happy couples share intimate time together, Brinley says

BYU professor discusses the doctrine of hell

Parents urged to text their teens

Ballam spreads music with ‘Opera With Children‘

Budgeting money for kids and parents

Twelve ways to be more like Christ

‘Me First’ attitude and the ailing economy

Tom Holmoe give Cougar ‘junkies’ what they want

Silencing the inner negative voices

How are we saved?

Flick shares how to keep a spiritual book of remembrance

Bytheway teaches youth how to get the most out of Sunday

Psychologist at BYU’s Education Week speaks on addiction

Understanding grace through the Pauline epistles

Obesity robbing people of joy and freedom, doctor says

Families are under attack, LDS leader cautions

BYU Education Week: Similarities and basic truths among religions

BYU Education Week: Achievers help all of society

BYU Education Week: Valuing gender differences

BYU Education Week: Nephi, Mary and sacred tree symbols

Education Week is a family affair for many

Breaking up with the world isn’t always easy

Reunion with God not immediate, Y. prof says

Music is the energy of life, Ballam tells Education Week crowd

No need to panic, BYU professor says

BYU Education Week: The diversion of wealth

The post What kinds of topics are covered at Campus Education Week? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“Originally called “Leadership Week,” Campus Education Week was first held in 1922. The focus of that first conference was on LDS Church leadership training. Since that time, the focus has broadened, adding classes for every aspect of life, as well as classes specifically for the youth.”

Read more in this Deseret News article about Campus Education Week.

The post BYU Campus Education Week appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

We recently received this question from Susy:

I have an 18 year old Catholic friend traveling as an exchange student from Mexico to Arizona next August.  She will be living with a Mormon family and I would like to know what she should expect during the school year.  It must be a very different culture:  home discipline rules, religious rules, etc.  Does this religion allow kids to go out with school friends, use a computer, attend school activities out of town, of course all these with respect…?  I really hope she can have a great experience and learn different things and language.

~Answer by Heidi

As a Mormon woman who has had both family and friends, also Mormon, act as host families in the foreign exchange program, I am happy to have the opportunity to answer this question for you, Susy.  First of all, let me assure you that any Mormon family prepared to welcome a foreign exchange student into their home will have a strong desire to:  expose her to rich cultural experiences, keep her safe from harm, provide her with what she needs to do well in school, treat her with warmth and love and do all they can to help her learn English.

At the same time, Mormon families, like most others who attend the Catholic church and other houses of worship, would have a problem with guests in their home who do not respect their rules, especially when it comes to issues such as smoking or drinking in the house, foul language, drug use, sexual activity, coming home in the wee hours of the morning, extreme immodesty in dress, or viewing inappropriate content on the computer. However, it is my understanding that most of these behaviors are not in harmony with the foreign exchange program and one would not expect to welcome a student into their home who did not, as you say, treat their host family with respectful behavior.

I feel that your question can allow us to clarify some of what Mormons believe and practice.  For example, Mormons most definitely use computers and I would expect that a host family would be prepared to allow a student living in their home to have access to one.  However, your friend could very well encounter a situation wherein the computer has filters and/or other protective software to prevent the viewing of inappropriate content.  Based on what you have said about your friend, I don’t expect this to be a problem.

Our religion does indeed allow their teenagers to go out with friends, to attend school activities (sometimes out of town), to dance, to attend movies, plays and concerts, etc.  Of course, as with any other family, personal preferences will come into play.  What one family sees as okay, another might not feel is a good fit for their children.  However, for the most part (as there are exceptions in every situation) I would imagine that in this situation, a Mormon family would likely not expect the exact same behaviors from their guest as they do of their own children (though they will encourage their guest to follow the rules as outlined in the foreign exchange program).

Obviously, I do not know the family with whom your friend will be staying and therefore can’t know specifically what they are like, but I feel I can say with confidence that your friend’s host family members will go out of their way to insure that she has a very positive experience.  In the end, I think that she will find she has more in common with them than not.

Thank you so much for giving Mormon Women to opportunity to address your concerns with regards to this issue.

Editor’s note: To learn more about Mormon family life, see this post:

What are some of the family traditions and rules of the Mormon religion?

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women: Who We Are, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

Have a question you would like to ask? Send an email to us at gmail, with username ‘mormonwoman’

The post Ask A Mormon Woman: What Can A Foreign Exchange Student Expect To Experience When Hosted By A Mormon Family? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Hannah and Rob in front of the Frankfurt, Germany Temple

On Friday, my husband Rob and I are leaving Paris, where we have been living for three months. Rob has been busy working for an NGO (non-government organization) while I have been learning French and enjoying some time off before I start graduate school in the fall. As exciting as it sounds, moving to a different country is full of adjustments and ups and downs.

One major change was that we had just moved from Utah, where there are 13 active LDS temples, to France, where there are none. Depending on where you live in France, a visit to the temple can mean a trip of several hours, since the closest temples are in Germany, the Netherlands, Switzerland, and Spain. (The same can be said of other countries in which there are no temples. Rob grew up on a small island in the Pacific Ocean, and the closest temple is a 7-8 hour plane ride away in Hawaii.)

The temple is a place where members of the Church go to perform vicarious saving ordinances for those who have died, and this act of service has provided a great amount of comfort and relief for me in times of need. Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has described frequent temple worship as “the source and strength and power in times of need.” He said, “[W]hen we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously in order to maintain the blessings promised by those ordinances, then come what may, we have no reason to worry or to feel despondent.” (1)

We scheduled a trip to the Frankfurt Germany Temple in the middle of June, when we had been in Paris for just about six weeks. Some family friends of ours were kind enough to host us for the weekend at their house and to let us accompany them to their stake temple day. At the time I was struggling with the French language, the culture, the exchange rate, and being home alone all day while my husband was working. I couldn’t even understand the proceedings of our church meetings without Rob leaning over and telling me what was going on. In all aspects of my life I felt like I had hit a wall, and the world was still going about its business while I was stuck in my own world of self-pity. In short, I needed to reconnect with my spiritual self.

Sitting in the temple, surrounded by friends, my husband, and other members of the Church brought me such a warm feeling of peace and familiarity that I had been craving for so many weeks. I thought that our weekend visit to the temple was going to be the vacation from my so-called “problems” that I needed. In fact, being at the temple was an opportunity for me to learn what I needed to change in my life to feel better about my situation, a situation that would not be solved by sitting at home while eating spoonfuls of plain Nutella out of the jar.

I left Germany that weekend with a renewed desire to quit resisting and resenting change. (After all, this stage in my life marks the beginning of countless changes I’m going to be making.) More importantly, I also had a renewed desire to make my home a temple by making a bigger effort to invite the Spirit into our home, since I no longer had the luxury of driving the five minutes from our apartment to the Provo Temple. Almost every Sunday since we have been here, someone in our Paris ward has mentioned the importance of making our homes a temple because the prospect of a temple in France is still so far away. Who knows where life will take us next? I learned that I need to be prepared for any situation that puts us far away from easy temple access. Elder Gary E. Stevenson [a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy] said, “There exists a righteous unity between the temple and the home… Whether our living space is large or small, humble or extravagant, there is a place for… gospel priorities in each of our homes.” (2)

This small, seemingly unimportant trial that passed as quickly as it came was an important lesson for me: that “you are never lost when you can see the temple,” (3) no matter what country it is in.

1) Elder Richard G. Scott, “Temple Worship: The Source of Strength and Power in Times of Need,” May 2009 Ensign
2) Elder Gary E. Stevenson, “Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples,” May 2009 Ensign
3) Elder Gary E. Stevenson, “Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples,” May 2009 Ensign

While living in Europe, Hannah visited two other Latter Day Saints meetinghouses, pictured below.

These pictures are of the Hyde Park LDS meetinghouse in London, England.

And this picture is from an LDS ward building in Bayonne, France.

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For more First Person essays, please click here.

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She loves traveling. “I love diving into a culture and learning what it is like to be a part of it. I love eating, talking and having fun. Lots of laughs, lots of smiles.” Sister Slight lived in Chile for four years but has also traveled to Argentina, Uruguay and Brazil. “No matter where I go, the Church is the same where ever I am. This is a worldwide church!”

“A lot of my conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints came while I was in High School. During that time, I realized that if I wanted good grades, and be sane and happy while taking a very heavy load of classes, I needed to rely on the Lord. I realized I could not do it myself. I realized that I needed to read my scriptures and pray before taking a test, writing essays or found my self struggling to do it on my own. I learned that I wanted to depend on the Lord because I realized after experimenting with prayer and study that He can make my life better than I can make it.”

“Throughout all of my studies, I learned to depend on the Lord and to let Him help me with temporal and spiritual things. In one prayer I told God my issue. I had a paper due the next day and I didn’t know what to write it on. I needed help. Despite wanting to make use of every single minute to work on my essay, I decided to read my scriptures. The paper I was asked to write was on the book, “Wide Sargasso Sea.” After praying and reading my scriptures, I immediately knew to write my essay on the Natural Man. That human nature is carnal. The main character in this book was stuck in the mode of satisfying his immediate desires and that was depriving him of a greater perspective on life. I believe God wants to help us both with our spiritual needs but also our every day problems as He helped me with this essay.”

“My high school English teacher taught me to make the most of my life and that comes through education. She taught me not to let complacency or laziness get in the way of making a difference in any place you may be. I believe in education, especially for women. Finding what makes us happy and gives us fulfillment is what God wants for all of His children.”

Sister Slight’s parents currently live in Qatar, and attend the International Ward in Doha Qatar. Despite not being able to preach the gospel openly, her parents are happy to have a place to worship and still find that people are drawn to the religion even though members obey the law not to proselyte.

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