A key facet of teachings of leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is based in prioritizing our lives so that the things that matter most get our time and energy. We are encouraged to build our relationship with God, and, as expressed here, build relationships with those we love and care about.

Another quote that illustrates this teaching is from M. Russell Ballard, who said:

In the Church, our belief in the overriding importance of families is rooted in restored doctrine. We know of the sanctity of families in both directions of our eternal existence. We know that before this life we lived with our Heavenly Father as part of His family, and we know that family relationships can endure beyond death…. What matters most is what lasts longest, and our families are for eternity. (What Matters Most is What Lasts the Longest

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~by René

2 Nephi 2:25: ” Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”

What is joy? Can you be sad and have joy? Yes!

Three years ago my daughter lost her husband in a car wreck. She was five months pregnant with their second daughter. Her oldest, Elise, was 20 months old. Her husband, Mike, had just graduated from the Police Academy in Washington State, USA. He was a severe diabetic and the fact that he had graduated from this grueling training was a miracle and a sign of the dedication that he had always exuded.

When my daughter called me, asking me to come to their town, that Mike was dead, she wasn’t sobbing, she wasn’t hysterical, she was in charge. She had two babies she had to take care of and she had a crisis on her hands. She was sad, she cried, but she had a funeral to plan, an apartment to pack up, and a baby growing inside her that demanded that she take care of herself.

We had to go shopping; she didn’t have funeral clothes. We walked around and we laughed at how we were picking out shoes and earrings and if the sales lady asked, “Are you shopping for any special occasion?” how funny would it be to see the look on her face when we responded, “Yes, my husband was killed yesterday and I just don’t have anything to wear to his funeral!”

Bryon Katie, a modern-day philosopher has said that sadness is a tantrum. Suffering is self-inflected. When others suffer you don’t have to. It’s not that you don’t care, you should have feelings of empathy, but it’s not your turn to be sad. This time it was our turn to be sad, but we didn’t suffer. At his funeral, we cried, we reminisced, we laughed. But there was a sense of joy. The joy that my daughter and her husband had been married in the Portland Temple for eternity, not “until death do you part.” The joy that Elise and baby Emery are sealed to them, that they are a family forever. The joy that Mike was a responsible father that took care of his family in his short lifetime and for the event of his death.

There was joy in knowing that with one phone call, meals appeared, child care was secured, and family gathered. Tears where shed when “Amazing Grace” was sung but joy was felt when friends spoke of Mike and how he had touched their lives.

Now, three years later, joy is over bounding when we look into the little face of baby Emery. She looks just like Mike and she already is showing signs of having his independence and spunk.

How joyful that Mike decided to follow the guidance of our Church leaders that encourage young men to serve a mission, a two-year training program that teaches men how to be partners, companions, leaders — and then when they return, encouraging them to get married, have a family. Young people are counseled not to put family on hold for things like education, careers, or homes. But they are told to seek an education and a good career and provide for themselves. How much more joyful would an education be with someone you love by your side? Why seek a rewarding career if only to provide pleasure for yourself? Wouldn’t it be more joyful to share such a gift?

One of my favorite songs is “A house is not a home” from the play “Promises, Promises.” The lyrics tell us, “..a house is not a home when there’s no one there to hold you tight, and no one there you can kiss good night.”

In 2 Nephi 2:23 we read, “and they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.” Children help teach us about love and anger, pleasure and pain, charity and selfishness, joy in spite of sadness. Look at those smiling children, yes that’s joy.

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~Answer by Michelle**

This is a great question. One of the things that I love about being Mormon is the focus on family. We receive guidance and counsel that I feel make a significant difference in our family life. I was thinking tonight about how grateful I am for what church teachings regarding family life have done for our family. It isn’t about a list of rules in my mind; it has become a way of life that enables us to feel God’s influence and power in our home and our lives, and helps keep us focused on keeping our family strong.

Following are some of the things Mormon families are encouraged to do regularly. At the end of the post, I include some links to content on our site where women talk about these different practices.

Usually on Monday nights, most Mormons have what we call Family Home Evening (or Family Night). We sing and pray and learn and play together, and usually eat treats, too! We try to be deliberate about not scheduling other things on Mondays whenever possible. We do a wide variety of things together. We enjoy discussing gospel principles and finding fun ways to teach them. This is a great opportunity to talk to our children about things that may be concerning them, or us. We’ll sometimes plan schedules, too. Our children love playing church music charades (a guessing game where you act out what the others try to guess — no talking allowed!). Another favorite activity is “doorbell ditching” — making a treat and then delivering to someone in our neighborhood by ringing the doorbell and running. (The goal, of course, is to not get caught!) We also have gone bowling, played basketball, played board games. Last week, we went to visit a widow from our former ward whom the children consider as another grandma. We love Family Night. Try it, you’ll like it — tailor it to whatever suits your family!

We are encouraged to have daily personal and family scripture study and prayer. Family Dinner is also encouraged (which usually includes a prayer as well). These rituals help us stay focused on bringing God into our daily lives and into our homes, and in learning more about the gospel of Jesus Christ together. I have felt a real impact in our home with the practices of reading the scriptures and praying together. I feel blessings of peace, love, understanding of truth, and eternal perspective as we do these things. I love hearing my children talk to Heavenly Father and discuss and ask questions about what we are learning as we read. In our home, we focus most of our reading on The Book of Mormon, although, of course, we like to learn and read from other books of scripture as well. We also try to read the most recent General Conference talks together to help keep the current counsel of living prophets and other Church leaders fresh in our minds. I shared some of the ways we try to make scripture reading memorable and enjoyable here.

I can’t say enough about family dinner, either. Again, if this isn’t something you do, I’d say give it a try. Research has shown its benefits (see links below, and see a video about this topic here).

Sunday is an important day for Mormons — a day focused on faith and family. The usual routine on Sundays includes our church meetings. How each family spends the rest of the day can vary somewhat. In our home, we love just being together, relaxing, playing games, watching inspirational videos made by the Church, talking, reading, writing in our journals, doing family history work. We also looooove going to Grandma and Grandpa’s! Our goal is to make Sundays different from the rest of the week. Except on rare occasions, Dad doesn’t do work. Mom isn’t running around doing errands or laundry. Sometimes Sundays will include additional church gatherings, meetings (if our callings require it) and service. We do our best to try to stop the usual routine and try to rejuvenate our spirits and our relationships so we can tackle another busy week. (We all tend to lament the end of Sunday. We love Sundays!)

We are also encouraged to have fun and to be creative in our families. In 1995, our leaders published what is called The Proclamation to the World on the Family. This document delineates many important teachings regarding family (a topic for another day). A simple phrase from that document reminds us that wholesome recreation is an important part of family life.  The Family Fridays posts we have are designed to explore the many facets of family life, including the things we do to laugh and play and enjoy life together, from birthday parties to family vacations, as well as the day-to-day moments. Family fun often involves extended family as well, such as with family parties, family reunions, and other activities. Every family also develops its own family traditions that can enrich family life.

Now, please don’t misunderstand — we Mormons have our family problems just like anyone else! But just like anyone else, we find that making time for fun family activities can be a really good thing…and also help give us opportunities to learn to work together and love each other.

A broader facet of LDS family life includes doing family history (genealogy). This not only helps us learn more about our ancestors, but is important to us because of our belief in eternal families — in family relationships being able to exist beyond “death do us part.” A central element of our faith includes doing vicarious ordinance work (like baptisms and eternal marriages) in our temples on behalf of our loved ones who have died. This work broadens our perspective on family, helps us face trials and the loss of loved ones, and brings a spiritual power into our lives.

I am so grateful for the family rituals we are counseled to have in our family life. I feel they have blessed my family in so many ways, some of them immeasurable but nevertheless tangible. Our family is far from perfect at doing these things, and we are far from perfect as people, but I feel that participating in these practices helps us be better and draw closer to God and to each other.

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To hear more from Mormon women about the above topics, see the links below:

Family Home Evening:

Family Home Evening
Family Friday: Notable Quotables
Family Fridays: Family Home Evening

There is more information and some resources here on the Church’s official website.

Family Scripture Study and Prayer

We Believe: Family Scripture Study
Portraits of Mormon Women: Rebecca
Family Fridays: Amen, Sister!

Family Dinner

Family Friday: Dinner Together

(As a sidenote, you might be interested in some research that has shown the tangible value of family dinner — for parents, for children, even for corporations! Read more here (article includes ideas for making family dinner happen in your home). This research, conducted by Brigham Young University professors in conjunction with IBM, has also been mentioned at The Wall Street Journal’s Front Lines, U.S. News and World Report, and Slate Magazine.)

Sunday Worship and Family Time

Ask a Mormon Woman: Why Do Mormons Go To Church For So Long?
Ask a Mormon Woman: What Do Mormons Do On Sundays?

Family Fun and Creativity

Family Fridays: Jane’s Family Fun
Family Fridays: Camping
First Person: How I Create as a Mom
Family Fridays: Hiking Together
More posts on family fun, traditions, etc. can be found here, here, and here.
(From a BYU Women’s Conference Sharing Station) Finding Fun in the Family Tree

Family History and Temple Work

Finding Family is Fun
First Person: Touching the Temple
We Believe: Perspective

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women: Who We Are, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

Have a question you would like to ask? Send an email to us at gmail, with username ‘mormonwoman’

The post Ask a Mormon Woman: What are some of the family traditions and rules of the Mormon religion? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Cheryl

Our family loves the outdoors. One of our favorite things to do is hike! My husband and I started hiking while we were dating, and we’ve continued to do so throughout the last 11 years.

Hiking is a wonderful family activity because it combines exercise, beauty, photography, discovery, conversation, and laughter. Our kids know that if mom or dad says, “Hey, you guys want to go for a hike?” then chances are, we will end up hiking –no matter the weather! We have hiked in the snow, the rain, and the sunshine. We’ve hiked to waterfalls, lakes, and secluded groves of trees. We’ve hiked with food, without food, and for the point of a picnic. Hiking for us, is just fun! Here are some pictures:

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What does your family like to do together? Do you have stories and pictures you can share? Email us at mormonwoman(at)gmail(dot)com with your thoughts and photos.

For other Family Friday posts, please click here.

The post Family Fridays: Hiking Together appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“Seal to me.”

Three days after my husband’s death, I looked at his picture in our bedroom. While looking at the picture, I heard my husband’s voice say to me, “Seal to me.” My husband had taken me several times to the Visitor’s Center at the Oakland Temple, and to the Sacramento Temple Open House, he had been my very first missionary and had taught me what happens in Temples. I knew what he wanted me to do.

My husband converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 1985. At the time, he was at a critical time in his life. He lost his home, all his money, was in the middle of a divorce and was losing his family. He had his first heart attack during that time. A Mormon friend gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon and asked him to study it. The Book of Mormon changed my husband’s life.

I met my husband years later online. I traveled a lot for my job as a TV producer in Bangkok, Thailand and only had Internet access one day a week. Several times when I came back to the office I would see ads for Match.com on my computer screen. I wondered what it was and filled in my information. My husband-to-be also traveled extensively for work, but upon returning from a business trip to his home in America, his computer screen declared he had a match and on the screen was my profile. We started corresponding. After 6 months of email and phone calls he came to Thailand to meet me.

On his trip to Thailand he told me he knew I was the one, and asked me to marry him, but he said, “Don’t answer until you visit me in America.” I came to America and felt like I had come back home. We courted for two years, and after asking my family’s permission we married in 2002.

I did not know while we were dating that my husband was a Mormon. After we started our life together he took me to the Oakland Temple Visitors’ Center often. We watched movies about the Church. He frequently invited the missionaries to our home. I was raised Buddhist in Bangkok, but attended Catholic private schools all through my life and was acquainted with Christianity. But on the first day I went to Catholic school my grandmother pulled me aside and told me “Don’t convert.” Although I enjoyed the messages my husband and these videos were sharing with me, I thought I did not need to convert to Christianity to be a good person.

On May 7, 2007 my husband had a heart attack in our home. My next-door neighbor, who happened to be LDS, rushed over to help give my husband CPR. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. My neighbor called the Bishop of my husband’s church and the Bishop and some other members of my husband’s ward met me at the hospital. I did not know them, but I knew my husband did. It was well past midnight, so I was surprised people would come and visit me. When the Doctor confirmed that my husband had passed and there was nothing left to do I was lost. Bishop Beck said, “Don’t worry. We will walk with you and help you through this.” The Bishop and another ward member gave me my first Priesthood blessing that night at the hospital and I felt better.

The next morning, someone knocked on my door. It was the Relief Society President from the ward. She knew I did not have a driver’s license, and told me she would make herself available to give me rides anywhere I needed to go. Members of my husband’s congregation started delivering food that day.

Bishop Beck called the funeral home and assisted me with all the details of the funeral. We had a memorial at the church and since my husband was a veteran, he was buried at a military cemetery. Bishop Beck helped me arrange all the details with the Veteran’s Association. There was so much paperwork!

I was so surprised. These people didn’t know me, but they knew my husband and wanted to help. My husband’s message to seal to him was fresh in my mind when, after the funeral, I talked to Bishop Beck and said, “I am ready to discuss with the missionaries.” For five years missionaries had come to my home and I would not listen. I was ready to listen.

I was baptized on June 23, 2007. On my baptism day, a brother in my ward came to me to apologize. “I’m so sorry Krittiya, I have misspelled your name on the program.” But when I looked, it was the same way my husband had misspelled my name. I knew he was with me.

After baptism, I talked to my home teachers and visiting teachers about getting ready to go to the Temple. I took a Temple prep class and prepared myself spiritually to go to the Temple. On June 27, 2008 I went to the Oakland Temple and was sealed for time and all eternity to my husband. I cried the entire time. I knew my husband was there with me. He was very happy too.

I know that through the sealing powers offered in the Holy Temple my husband and I can be together forever, and that gives me peace.

Krittiya grew up in Bangkok, Thailand. She attended Catholic private schools before graduating from Thammast University, Bangkok, in journalism. She had never met a Mormon in Bangkok before meeting her husband, but had read in a magazine that Donny Osmond was a Mormon. She did not make the connection between the word “Mormon” and the Thai translation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints while growing up in Bangkok. Krittiya now realizes that every Friday night, the LDS missionaries would host a TV show in Bangkok. We wanted to provide that translation so others could make the connection between the word “Mormon” and the Thai translation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

The post Conversion Stories: Krittiya appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Jenny

Last night, while tightly hugging me around my neck, my twenty-three month old spontaneously told me that she loved me – for the first time. “I love you.” Oh, how those words hold such magic. I immediately became a puddle of mommy love, Callie melting to the ground with me. I then filed this memory in that ever-growing box in my brain titled “Memories Never to be Forgotten.” I hope this box doesn’t fail me because that is surely a moment that I never want to forget. Callie’s older sister Samantha has a genetic condition and developmental delay so I may never hear “I love you” from her. That’s ok.  I know she loves me. But hearing those words from Callie was a magical moment.

When Samantha was nearly a year old we thought about having another child. Only eight months later we were blessed with Callie. We were scared at the closeness of age with a special needs child but we were also filled with pure joy. When I first saw Callie I instantly fell in love, but admittedly, the mother/daughter connection took some time. I remember holding her on the couch one day and I was overcome with a tremendous amount of love. I thought, “She is my daughter. She is mine.” It seems so simple but it held such strength and power. Memory filed in box. From that day on, I have felt a deep connection with her that continues to grow.

Being a mother of two, I have learned for myself what everyone has told me for years. Each child comes to earth with her own personality. Those mixed personalities combined with love make a family. Samantha loves to cuddle. Callie prefers being chased around. Sammy eats anything. Callie doesn’t. Their differences compliment each other. For instance, Samantha likes to be comforted, while Callie likes to do the comforting. When Sammy is sad, Callie is concerned and gives her sister hugs and kisses.

Of course, there are many similarities too. They’re social. They laugh easily. They’re determined to figure it out on their own – frequently they do.  And they both clearly love their mommy and daddy.  When Callie was born our family became more complete.

There is one more difference that may seem obvious to others, but that I frequently forget: I delivered Samantha in a hospital. Callie was delivered to me by an adoption caseworker. Surprisingly, I have had several people tell me that they could never adopt because they couldn’t love someone else’s child as if he/she was their own. But you see, that child becomes your own. There is no doubt in my mind or in Callie’s mind that I’m her mother and she is my daughter. I understand that she’ll have questions and may want to meet her birthmother. That is why we chose open adoption. But when it comes to love between a mother and her child, it doesn’t matter if the child is biological or not. Callie’s birthmother, as the mother who gave her life, will always love her. That is a mother’s love. And I, as Callie’s mother who raises her, will always love her and think of her as my own. That is a mother’s love.

November is a month of Thanksgiving. It is also National Adoption Month in the United States. For our family, this is extremely fitting that these two are celebrated together. Without birthmothers who selflessly sacrifice so their babies can have a better life, our family would be incomplete. Everyday, we give thanks for adoption. We give thanks for the laws that allow it, and for individuals who sacrifice so families can be complete. As we celebrate the season of Thanksgiving, we also consider the blessings and joys of adoption for many families around the world.

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For more Family Friday content, see here.

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Read part 1here

Emily is center back, in white. She is seen here with her dance instructor, who performed her baptism, and his family.

Now that Emily is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, she sees herself differently.

“I have found a role and purpose as a woman, as a daughter of Heavenly Father – it has changed everything about me as a woman.”

In a world where Emily once felt very alone, she now has a church full of sisters. That is how the women in the LDS church refer to each other, as sisters. In addition to those loving and friendly ties at church Emily does have family connections.

Although Emily has little connection to those family members who caused her great harm as a child, she has a place in her extended family. When the traumatic events of her childhood forced her into foster care, Emily went to live with her grandmother, where they developed a loving relationship.

The LDS church believes that family connections can be continued after death through sacred ordinances that take place in temples. Emily knew that she wanted to have this eternal connection with her grandmother she loves dearly. So after being a member of the Mormon Church for only one week she was given permission to have eternal ordinances performed for her extended family. This included Emily’s opportunity to be baptized, by proxy, for her grandmother.

Now Emily continues the pattern she learned during her conversion process – taking life step by step. Because of the neglect Emily suffered as a child she has ongoing health concerns. The most serious of these is a heart condition called Cardiomyopathy, scarring of the muscles in her heart. She must go in every 6 months for procedures to remove and monitor the scarring in her heart. Each time this happens there is a chance that Emily will not live through the procedure. She is a young woman, with much of life ahead of her.

Despite all of Emily’s adversity she remains hopeful. She has relied on a talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf [a member of the Church’s First Presidency] as she prepared for her medical procedures and fights the fear that is so natural in this situation. These are a few exerpts that Emily highlighted (notice the references to the heart, as she battles real heart-related health issues):

Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Its absence – when this desire of our heart is delayed – can make ‘the heart sick.’

Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.

Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Spirit will fulfill his promise to us… It is confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.

Fear not… Never give in… Never surrender… Never allow despair to overcome your spirit… Embrace and rely upon the Holy One of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens sorrow, and gladdens every heart.

When I asked Emily how she knows that God loves her she said that just being alive is enough to let her know God’s love. Then she said that she feels God’s love in knowing His plan, including the atonement of Jesus Christ. The fact that he taught that plan to her, step by step in a very personal way, communicates his love. Lastly, she knows God’s love for her because,

“When there was every reason in the world for me to believe the opposite, he sent this Deaf girl to dance, of all things, so that I would have a language to understand him and his love.”

Let’s all pray for Emily this week, as she is undergoing the medical procedures necessary to keep her heart going, so that our hearts will be knit together with hers in unity and strength. Pray that God will mercifully give her strength to continue on in this miraculous journey of healing that is such an inspiration to us all.

**Update: Emily’s procedures have gone well. The scarring in her heart has not recurred and the doctors reduced her medications. The hospital has even given her a scholarship, reducing Emily’s financial burdens. Many prayers are being answered!

The post Conversion Stories: Emily (part 2) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

My name is Marivic and I am a Mormon woman in progress. I say that not so much because I worry about not being the kind of Mormon woman people expect me to be, but because I believe I still need to cover a lot of ground before I become the Mormon woman Heavenly Father wants me to be.

I have been married 24 years to my husband and best friend, Alan, and we have three children, 2 boys and a girl. Our oldest son, Christopher, completed earth life before he turned three years old which is the biggest sadness of our life, but we have faith that someday we will have a full understanding of the plan and have the answers to our questions. I look forward to the day when we are reunited with him, and faith becomes true knowledge, and I can finally comprehend why he left so soon and broke our hearts.

Meanwhile, we have been blessed to have the opportunity to enjoy our daughter and youngest son, both currently wonderful teen-agers. Ah, I know— “enjoy,” “wonderful,” and “teenagers” should be antonymous! Believe me, I often agree, but I can honestly say that Heavenly Father blessed me with good children who fill me with joy and make me grateful for motherhood. It is the hardest but most fulfilling role that I have been entrusted in my life. I am grateful that the gospel of Jesus Christ enabled me to recognize this.

The first time I heard about the Mormon Church was as a young girl in the Philippines. I was about eight years old when Mormon missionaries were first invited in to our home. Unfortunately, my parents were in a sort of “all is well” state common to the prosperous, and my dad told the missionaries not to come back. But times changed. Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos declared Martial Law in 1972, and the people of the Philippines suffered. The years of economic hardship my family endured under the Marcos regime humbled my parents and the next time the missionaries knocked on our door my parents’ minds were open and their hearts were ready. Our family was baptized into the church in 1977.

Being a young Mormon in a predominantly Catholic country was quite interesting. The best education was at private schools run by the Catholic Church, so I attended private Catholic institutions both in high school and college. The nuns and the priests were aware of my religion and were tolerant and kind. They did not bother me about my beliefs but neither did they exempt me from the required Theology classes. So for at least a couple of years I managed to balance being president of my seminary class in the LDS Church and an A-student in theology at my Catholic school. You would think I would have been one confused young woman! But I believe that this experience made me feel secure in my faith and my Mormon identity no matter where I am and what the circumstances are. It taught me not only to be tolerant of people with different values, but to also be comfortable in my friendships with people who do not believe as I do.

My friends in the church and out of the church like to say that I am not a stereotypical Mormon. Maybe it’s because, as some say, I have a lot of spunk. Maybe it’s because, in some ways, I tend to do things atypical of how some may have stereotyped a Mormon wife and mom. For example, except for a brief five-year stint as a stay-at-home mom before my kids went to school (which was an awesome and treasured experience), I actually choose to work outside the home; I am a revenue manager for a large hotel chain in the United States. Also, I do not find joy in baking, cooking, sewing, scrapbooking, gardening, canning, etc. I do enjoy reading, amateur photojournalism, and occasional blogging. I currently serve on the Activities Committee in my ward and as a visiting teacher.

I may not fit some stereotypes, but I am a Mormon woman who is deeply although quietly grateful for the gospel and for the Savior. I pray and I study the scriptures. I also strive to have a clean mind, clean hands, a clean mouth, a clean heart and a clean life. I teach my kids to love, to be kind and courteous, to be happy, to seek intelligence and knowledge, and to have faith. I can only hope these things count in my identity as a follower of Christ.

There are many spiritual experiences that have shaped who I am. These experiences came when serving as a full-time missionary in The Philippines Baguio Mission, and when serving in different church callings throughout the years, whether it be as a nursery teacher or as a Stake Young Women President when I was just in my twenties.

However, the experience which defines me the most, which indelibly shaped me and convinced me that Heavenly Father lives, is the experience of losing my first born child. I was crushed under the weight of overwhelming sorrow, but I was lifted up so I could rise from its depths and allow faith to set me on the path to healing. This experience is so sacred to me I have rarely if ever shared it. But I felt it would be worthwhile to share here.

Twenty years ago this year, my son who was not yet three passed away during his nap. There was no medical explanation for the devastation I was asked to bear. “Undetermined natural causes” was all the medical examiners could give us as the reason for why my world was turned upside down. Suddenly, what I thought was my strong testimony that helped me as a young woman, a missionary, a young bride, a new mother, could not hold me up against overwhelming grief and pain. I found myself desperately needing to know that the plan of salvation was true, not just because I felt it or that it made sense in my mind, but because I know. I needed to know it just like I know with perfect knowledge that the sky is blue, and that I have five fingers in each hand, and that a flame hurts when it burns my skin. I had to know not in the abstract but with absolute knowledge that there is indeed a resurrection and that I will see my son again. If I could not know that, then I decided I would rather die.

I am not sure how much my mother-in-law knew of my struggle, but she arranged for me and my husband to meet with Elder Richard G. Scott (an apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; the  Mormons) shortly after our son’s funeral. (She was a church office employee back then and was able to do this.) My husband and I went to see Elder Scott and I was determined to get an answer. I did not want an apostle to just bear his testimony to me. I wanted an apostle of Christ to give me a testimony, to tell me how he knew the plan of salvation is true, so I could know it myself. I told Elder Scott exactly how I felt. But of course, and as you already suspected, Elder Scott could not give me a testimony. He shared his testimony, but he could not give me the knowledge and testimony I sought. However, I will always remember what I walked away with on that day. Elder Scott, whether he knew it or not, gave my spirit peace and solace when he told me that it was okay if all I had was faith and not knowledge. He did not judge me or chastise me. He simply told me to keep believing even when I don’t know. Because believing based on faith will carry me to the end, and in the end I will know.

Twenty years later my heart and my spirit are still broken in many ways, and I am still without perfect knowledge. For this I sometimes believe I am farther behind than most Mormon women in their journey back to Heavenly Father. Nevertheless, I am farther along in that path than I was twenty years ago. I can only measure myself against my own progress and not against others’. Along the way I learned to separate the gospel from the cultural expectations of my religion. More importantly, I know now more than I knew back then that I have a Heavenly Father, and to Him I pray. I believe with a deep abiding faith that someday I will see Christopher again. And so I continue in faith to seek understanding, and knowledge— a Mormon woman in progress.

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There are times that we get so absorbed in life, in current situations, that it is hard to have perspective. It is hard to remember that God loves us, that there is a plan, that everything will be OK. And when I say, ‘everything will be OK,’ I don’t mean it in a “Pollyanna”-like way. I mean that really horrid things happen, but with the help of God it can all be overcome, it can be healed and in the end we can survive it triumphantly.

Yesterday I went to the temple with an older couple in our congregation. Two years ago their adult son committed suicide. It was one of those really horrid things that happen. I saw in the temple how something like this can be overcome.

Their son’s life was filled with trial and his bodily imperfections made it even more difficult. In the temple, through proxy ordinances he was promised blessings now as if he had been born in a good and righteous family from the very beginning of his life. I felt hope that his healing is taking place in heaven, that he is sorting through what happened to him; looking forward to the resurrection when his body will help him, instead of hinder his eternal progression. The sins of others, that impacted him so greatly, are being lifted off of him through the power of the atonement of Christ

What this meant to his mother and adoptive father yesterday was renewal. They have spent the last two years missing and mourning their son, afraid of what awaited him in heaven because of the mistakes in his life. And even doubting themselves because they couldn’t pull him away from the demons that haunted him. They now have the hope that he can heal, move forward and be happy in heaven. And most of all, to know that their family can be healed, to be together in joy forever.

This life is but a moment, a teaching pause in the grand scheme of eternity. Sometimes we let life become too real, we forget that we are more than this moment. Our vision is shortsighted, seeing only what is obvious between birth and death. Instead we must keep an eternal focus to live our best life, to remember that our choices here build our eternity. This is the plan of God, to learn and progress, to return to him as his precious children to enjoy eternity.

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About 5 years ago a good friend lost her dear baby just a few days after birth. Having recently moved across the country (USA), I could not be with her during those very difficult days. As I pondered over ways to possibly help from afar, I had the idea come that I could use my artistic talent to create healing and increased eternal perspective for their family.

The only pictures my friend had of her little baby were of her surrounded and covered by hospital equipment and tubes. My friend sent a favorite picture of her daughter and from that I painted a portrait so they could have a vision of their precious daughter without the incumbrences of medical treatment.

This was one of the most holy experiences I have had while creating. I felt that this was important to our Heavenly Father; He wanted comfort for my friend and an increased understanding about the true doctrine of eternal families. While I felt my abilities were beneath the importance of the goal, I knew that I was the only one available to do it and that the Lord would increase my talent for the best result.

The baby’s portrait was received with happiness and gratitude. When my friend’s family takes a picture they stand in front of the portrait, where it hangs in a place of honor in their home. I feel humbled and amazed to have been a part of the healing process for my friend and her family and I’m happy to know my talent could be a source of so much good. It might be the most God-like of service, to create unselfishly for another’s benefit.

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