Sadly, young women often start internalizing messages of shame and worthlessness — about their bodies and themselves in general. The media have a strong influence on this, and sometimes family dysfunction or other difficult situations can leave feeling women (and men, but he’s seen a lot of this with women) growing up with a message of “not enough.”

Hear Geoff’s thoughts about recognizing the lies that drive shame and that “not enough” message that many women struggle with. He uses scriptures and prophetic quotes that reinforce the truth of the worth of a woman’s soul.

Elder Holland’s talk in its entirety can be found here.

The Eliza R. Snow quote can be found here.

A summary of Geoff’s points can be found from a clip of one of his slides:

Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist with LifeStar of St. George. His expertise is in helping individuals and marriages deal from the impact of sex and pornography addiction.

The post Challenging the lies about beauty and worth – by Geoff Steurer (therapist) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Shawna Edwards:

Deep Beauty

I loved reading a recent post on The Beauty Paradox by Stephanie, a Mormon blogger. She addresses the fallacy that a woman’s beauty is tied solely to her physical or sensual appeal.

When I tried to find a picture to go [with this post], I found all the wrong things. All the skin-deep, UNDEEP beauty that the world is so obsessed with.

Read the rest of the post at Shawna Edwards’ blog….

The post “Deep Beauty” by Shawna Edwards appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Editor’s note: We recently shared a Mormon Messages video called “Deep Beauty,” with Elaine Dalton (worldwide leader of the young women (ages 12-18) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) talking about divine beauty, the beauty that comes of knowing who we are as daughters of God and living consistent with that truth. 

In fact, the topic of beauty is one that seems to be getting a lot of attention these days. Besides being aware of several organizations trying to address the distortion of beauty in popular culture (such as Beauty Redefined, who was featured here a while back), I’ve also read several articles in the last while on the topic of women and beauty. 

But one post clearly stands out to me, and is one I think needs to be shared; I wish all women, mothers, and young women could have a chance to read it. It was written by Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity. I felt she addressed some important tensions, nuances and layers to this topic that I find are often missing when beauty is discussed. I also appreciated the spiritual perspectives brought into it all…because I feel they are essential to getting to the core of what is truth about beauty.

The Bible teaches us that the truth will make us free. I believe she has shared truths that can help women be free, to tap into divine power, to really understand beauty and worth, and to feel more of God’s love in their lives.

I was actually going to try to share snippets from the article, but it’s one of those articles that I think is just best read as a whole. So with Stephanie’s permission, I shared the image from her post above, but I hope you will take a few minutes to read the whole post. 

The Beauty Paradox: The Surprising Relationship between Righteousness, Self-Image and Power.

You can also peruse her references/resources lists here.

[Actually, I will share the following quote, because it illustrates to me how deeply Stephanie has thought about the topic of beauty, and to me illustrates the inspiration that went into her writing. How easily we can fall into superficial definitions of beauty, when the kind of beauty God offers through His Son is beauty beyond measure.]

I know repentance seems like a weird fit here, but Heavenly Father gave me the word in the shower, so I’m going to roll with it.  The world tells us to use makeup and products to cover up our flaws.  The Savior teaches us to use repentance to wipe away our sins.  Imagine how much deeper our beauty could be if we would dedicate the same amount of time we usually spend on hair and make up to repenting of our sins.  Romans 4:7 says, “Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered.” Now that’s a cover-up worth having in your tool kit.

When we apply these principles of deep beauty, we are blessed with the power that comes from virtue.  We are filled with the light of Christ, and we are beautiful to God. (Some scriptures that helped me ponder God’s version of beauty can be found in 1 Nephi 11:15, 4 Nephi 1:10-12 and 15-16, Words of Mormon 1:8.) …

“Let us encourage every woman who questions her value to turn to her Heavenly Father and His glorified Son for a supernal confirmation of her immense individual worth. I testify that as each woman seeks it in faith and obedience, the Savior will continually prompt her through the Holy Ghost. That guidance will lead her to fulfillment, peace, and a consuming joy through magnifying her divinely appointed, sacred womanhood. I know the Savior will do that.”  — Elder Richard G. Scott

The post “The Beauty Paradox” – on modesty, self-image, power, virtue appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Following is a new video from Mormon Messages for Youth, with teachings from Sister Elaine Dalton’s talk “Remember who you are!” including thoughts about true, deep beauty:

[Deep] beauty … cannot be purchased. It [comes] from years of seeking the best gifts, becoming well educated, seeking knowledge by study and also by faith. It [comes] from years of hard work, of faithfully enduring trials with optimism, trust, strength, and courage. It [comes] from her unwavering devotion and fidelity to … husband, … family, and the Lord.

“[D]eep beauty” [is] the kind of beauty that shines from the inside out. It is the kind of beauty that cannot be painted on, surgically created, or purchased. It is the kind of beauty that doesn’t wash off. It is spiritual attractiveness. Deep beauty springs from virtue. It is the beauty of being chaste and morally clean. It is the kind of beauty that you see in the eyes of virtuous women…. It is a beauty that is earned through faith, repentance, and honoring covenants.

The post “Deep Beauty” video — “Remember who you are!” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Speaking of BYU Women’s Services, they want to hear *your* thoughts and experiences about this topic of defining and discovering what beauty means to you. As a follow-up to their recent Recapturing Beauty campaign, they are holding an essay contest. From their website:

Tell us about your journey to discover your own unique beauty. Where are you in that journey?*

*this means you don’t have to be the poster child for self acceptance. We want to know about the struggle, too.

What is beauty? How did you determine this?

What experiences and people have helped you discover beauty in yourself?

Note: Although the cash award is only available to BYU students, the essay contest is open to anyone who would like to participate. Entries must be sent by midnight on March 1, 2011 and can be emailed to recapturingbeauty at gmail. See their website for essay writing tips.

We also wanted to share an inspirational video we featured in 2009, which was sent to us by Erika. Erika was in cosmetology school when she initiated a service effort to help women who were completing their one- to two-year program in a local, non-denominational addiction recovery shelter. Erika says this about her experience:

The idea to help women in a local shelter came through listening to inspirational people whom I met while in school. One was a really sweet teacher who talked about how he lived behind a men’s homeless shelter. On his day off he would take a chair out to his front yard and post a sign on his fence offering free haircuts. The other was a very inspirational woman who came to our school. Her name is Sister Bonnie. She is a Catholic nun. She became a nun and then asked her convent to pay for her to go to beauty school.  When she got done, she opened a shop in a homeless shelter bathroom in a super dangerous neighborhood.  She talked about the change that came over each homeless person as she took the “weariness of the road” from them. With such wonderful examples, how could I not do my part? …

When the women in the shelter heard about the idea, they were surprised and felt blessed. They made me feel like I was an instrument in Heavenly Fathers hands. [See here for a news story that includes one woman’s poignant feelings about Erika’s service.]

I know that the Lord sees us with the eyes of a Creator — a Creator that put time and love into us. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to love ourselves. For me, helping others feel beautiful helps them to see themselves the way He does. It also helps me to feel real joy! The kind of joy that only comes from serving others.

We were inspired at how Erika and others used their talents to serve other daughters of God who were at an important crossroads in their lives. (We were also inspired by these women’s stories!)

(Please click on the picture above to view Erika’s Video: Day of Beauty)

The post “Recapturing Beauty” (Stephanie Nielson Video) + “Day of Beauty” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Because He is merciful and loves His children, God has given again in these latter-days the truth about where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going.

[T]his knowledge allows you to see your own reflection in the water. It assures you that you are not ordinary, rejected, or ugly. You are something divine — more beautiful and glorious than you can possibly imagine. This knowledge changes everything. It changes your present. It can change your future. And it can change the world.

The post “Our True Identity” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

The challenges range from taking a break from the media to taking time to exercise just for pleasure to “spend time getting ready on the inside.” Be sure to have a journal handy as well. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, watch the video on yesterday’s post where Dr. LaNae Valentine talks about the value of writing in a journal.

What helps you connect with and be grateful for your body? What helps you feel and foster your inner beauty — to see beauty as more than just your looks?

The post Take the “Recapturing Beauty” 10-day Challenge appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

The campaign started with a kickoff gathering where Stephanie Nielsen (also known as NieNie) spoke. They expected 1,000 attendees; 3,000 people attended!

To hear clips of Stephanie’s talk and to find out more about the Recapturing Beauty campaign, see the following video.

The post “Recapturing Beauty” Campaign appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I think too often, we as ladies, when we get up in the mornings, we look at ourselves in the mirror with the intention of finding what we need to fix or correct, and not acknowledge seeing the beauty that is there by simply being who we are. Instead, we anxiously have to make sure our teeth are as white and pretty as possible. Or we have to have on every “anti wrinkle, sun spot, blotchy skin, anything that makes us appear old” cream possible. Or we cringe at acne, hairs on our face where they are not supposed to be, and under eye bags.

Rarely do we get up in the morning, look in the mirror and as Happy Days’ “The Fonz” would do when he’s just about to comb his hair, say “Hey!” with confident approval and leave ourselves just as we are.

I admit, sometimes I am one of those gals.

A wonderful friend of mine though, reminded me that true beauty goes beyond our earthy bodies.

Recently, I was driving in my car and the thought came to me, “I need to go see Becky.” She had just delivered a premature baby boy at a nearby hospital. After being on strict bed rest in the hospital for some time, the baby just couldn’t wait to come into this world, and sure enough, way before his due date, he was welcomed, weighing just over three pounds.

So I got in contact with her, and later that night, I found myself driving to meet her and her latest family addition. Her husband met me at the doors that went into the NICU, took me to the washing area where I scrubbed my arms and hands like a doctor, and minutes later I was standing in a room that their little baby was in, along with numerous other little babies. Becky was standing next to his incubator with a smile on her face, so proud to show me her lil’ guy. My heart leaped within as I looked at him. He was absolutely beautiful. His head was covered with dark hair and his little feet were crossed. From head to toe, I saw heaven.

I was grateful to have brought my camera with me and asked to take a few shots of her holding him.  She had just started Kangaroo Care that evening and had forgotten her own camera at home.  I silently watched my sweet friend gently hold her son on her chest. She glowed. She looked like an angel….an angel mother. I kept my tears back as well as I could. She said jokingly, “Now I don’t have any make up on, so we’re going to have to edit these pictures.” I smiled with her, but inside all I could see on her face, in her eyes, was beauty.  It was something I will never forget.  I felt the Spirit of God so strong in that moment. And I felt honored and humbled to be given such an opportunity to share it with her and her son.

There are so many in this world that simply have no clue, no idea what true beauty looks like. And I am here to tell you, that on that night….beauty like looked a mother holding her child late in the evening in a place full of those whose lives hung by a thread. It looked like a child who didn’t take one breath, one more day lived, one moment with his sweet parents for granted. It looked like a father watching and hoping and praying every second of every minute of every hour of every day that his son would improve and grow and progress and get stronger so that he could fulfill his mission here in this life.

That is beauty. That is real. That is love.

The post True Beauty appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Today, Erika shares her story about how she played a role in creating hope and fostering a sense of confidence for women at a turning point in their lives. Grab a tissue; you might need it.

I have been married to my best friend for almost 7 years. I have four boys ages 6 to 4 months. My current calling at church is the ward Librarian which is teaching me a lot since my idea of an organized closet is a door that still closes. 🙂

I grew up in a small town in Idaho, where jeans and pony tails were the style of choice. I never considered going in to cosmetology, because I was not the “high maintenance” type.  I did however always race home when there was a makeover special on Oprah. I loved how nothing about the inside of the woman changed, just her view of herself. I didn’t even wear makeup or do my hair fancy on my wedding day. Then shortly after we were married my husband saw me wearing mascara, he commented that he liked it. After a series of events, I ended up selling makeup and I realized how much I enjoyed making people feel just a little extra special.

About two years after we were married with just one semester left in my college education I decided I was pursuing the wrong field and switched to cosmetology. I just love to make people look and feel beautiful!

The idea to help women in a local shelter came through listening to inspirational people whom I met while in school. One was a really sweet teacher who talked about how he lived behind a men’s homeless shelter. On his day off he would take a chair out to his front yard and post a sign on his fence offering free haircuts. The other was a very inspirational woman who came to our school. Her name is Sister Bonnie. She is a Catholic nun. She became a nun and then asked her convent to pay for her to go to beauty school.  When she got done, she opened a shop in a homeless shelter bathroom in a super dangerous neighborhood.  She talked about the change that came over each homeless person as she took the “weariness of the road” from them. With such wonderful examples, how could I not do my part?

I was afraid, though, to do it at first. I had so much feeling invested in it, I just didn’t want them to say no, or tell me I was naive. I called a few shelters and they rejected my idea, then I called an abused woman’s shelter and they were excited. It wasn’t until later that I found out they weren’t abused women. They were women with addictions. They had the choice to continue serving time in jail or go to this addiction recovery program. It was a 1-2 year long program. The women I was able to work with were about to complete the program.

(Please click on the picture above to view Erika’s Video: Day of Beauty)

When the women in the shelter heard about the idea, they were surprised and felt blessed. They made me feel like I was an instrument in Heavenly Fathers hands. [See here for a news story that includes one woman’s poignant feelings about Erika’s service.]

I know that the Lord sees us with the eyes of a Creator — a Creator that put time and love into us. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to love ourselves. Helping others feel beautiful helps them to see themselves the way he does. It also helps me to feel real joy! The kind of joy that only comes from serving others.

Being involved in this project also increased my testimony of the Savior’s love and His atoning sacrifice. I felt these women had incredible convictions about the Savior and his Atonement. I knew that He had forgiven them for their sins. I knew that He loved them even more than they loved Him.

I realized that He must see us more like children, lost or young, not as wicked people. I learned some of the greatest lessons from these women who, through personal struggle and sin had lost everything, except the love of the Savior. But that was the only thing they needed to start fresh. Lasting change came to their lives because of the Savior’s teachings. As I saw them with His love, helping them to see themselves that way was easier. I was grateful to be able to help them for one afternoon to remember the way that he sees them.

The Beauty School has continued to do a makeover for every woman that graduates from the program. I think the beauty school continued the project because charity is addicting. Once you get a taste for it, you just can’t quit! Now, Paul Mitchell schools all across the country are starting teams called “Be nice or Else” teams — focused completely on helping others largely do to the positive outcome that service brings to a Cosmetology school, based on what they saw from our school.

My plans for my life were focused on pursuing cosmetology and having my husband be a stay-at-home dad. I was offered several jobs — all that would pay more than my husband currently makes. I was offered a job in the Caribbean. A guest speaking job flying all over the country to speak about philanthropy. A teaching job at any Paul Mitchell school of my choice. I also had big plans to build a terrific salon.

But I did this project and finished it just weeks before Sister Julie B. Beck’s [General Relief Society President of our church] talk of “Mothers who know.” Pondering that talk was life changing. All of my professional dreams dissipated. They seemed to vanish. I cried, wondering why I had such dreams if they were not to come about, and then realized I had sustained Sister Beck and I better gain a testimony of the things she said. I prayed and read and prayed and read. Then I studied her talk and pondered it. I wondered where she came up with such strong doctrine. I read the foot notes and I was lead to another talk, “To the Mothers in Zion.” These two talks are what I have built the foundation of my motherhood on. After I gained a testimony of motherhood, I have seen nothing else more important to do with my time.

So I am now a full-time mom. I occasionally do classes for enrichment and makeovers for neighbors. But I don’t want to be misunderstood. I fear that someone someday will see me and say-ooh your that makeover girl. I want to be remembered as a Mother, not a makeover girl. I really feel that that is the greatest title.

——-

We invite you to send pictures or links of how you create — it can be something as simple as your favorite recipe, a craft you have made, your favorite wall in your home that adds that special touch. Consider sending pictures of quilts, clothing, artwork. Send your poetry or other writing. Have you made a video? Written a song? Do you play the piano? Send a recording, or a picture of you playing. Consider also ways you spend your time to create moments and memories for your family and friends. Be creative in thinking about how you create, and share your story with others here.

For more Portraits of Mormon Women, see here.

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