“Sometimes [God] refines us in ways we might not have wanted because He intends to use us in ways we might not have thought.” Emily Belle Freeman, quoting her sister, in a talk entitled “Finding God’s Fingerprints”

I listened to this talk today, and was moved by many thoughts Emily Belle Freeman shared. Among others, she talks about how the hard times we go through may be helping us prepare for ways God needs us to help others.

She recounts the story of a “wise woman” in 2 Samuel 20 who lived in the time of King David’s reign. The kingdom was under threat, and a general in David’s army had a plan to surround the city where the primary enemy, Sheba, was.

But his plan was to destroy the whole city to overcome this one man.

The “wise woman” “cried out of the city and said,

Hear, hear; say, I pray you, unto Joab, Come near hither, that I may speak with thee.

And when he was come near unto her, the woman said…I am one of them that are peaceable and faithful in Israel: thou seekest to destroy a city and a mother in Israel: why wilt thou swallow up the inheritance of the Lord?

Her negotiations and subsequent actions “in her wisdom” (engaging her people in helping with the problem [cutting of the man’s head…not exactly your 21st-century solution, but one matching the time] saved everyone in her city from destruction.

Emily calls this woman a “difference maker.” We don’t know this wise woman’s backstory, but we can have confidence by what little we see in the text that she is a devoted woman of God. What life experiences might have influenced her to exert such courage and clarity at such a time as this?

I’m struck that the key difference that she made was through a brave but simple one-on-one conversation, and then collaborative work with other God-fearing people, leading “in her wisdom.”

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the power of women. She stirred feelings in me that prompted me to start this website in the first place. As did Emily.

When we know who we are — or Whose we are — we can be stronger instruments in His hands to do good in the world.

Here are a few quotes that capture what it might mean to be a “difference maker” as a woman of God.

I believe the change we seek in ourselves and in the groups we belong to will come less by activism and more by actively trying every day to understand one another. Why? Because we are building Zion—a people “of one heart and one mind.”⁹ As…women [of God], we have broad influence. That influence is applied in everyday moments when we are studying with a friend, putting children to bed, talking to a seatmate on the bus, preparing a presentation with a colleague. We have power to remove prejudice and build unity. –Sharon Eubank

“We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who rejoice in motherhood and in womanhood and in the family. We are not panicked about perfection, but we are working to become more pure. And we know that in the strength of the Lord we can do all righteous things because we have immersed ourselves in His gospel (see Alma 26:12).” –“We are Women of God” – Sheri S. Dew.

“To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times” (Teachings: Spencer W. Kimball, 217).

“If we don’t do our part, no one else is going to do it for us. … We can’t delegate [our part in Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness]. We can’t pass it off to anyone. It’s ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it’s still our part, and we’re accountable for it. There will come a day when we will all remember what we knew before we were born. We will remember that we fought in a great conflict for this privilege. How do we meet this responsibility? We daily put our energies into the work that is uniquely ours to do” (Julie B. Beck, “Understand the Divine Roles of Women,” Ensign, Feb. 2009, 67).

And if we can seek to remember now what we knew before we came to this earth — and we can remember, or at least catch glimpses, through the help of the Spirit of God — then we will be led as to how we can be difference makers — to help bring Christ’s love and healing power and to the lives of others.

Or at least bring that invitation to “Come and see.”

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There was a day that this cross stitch (and another similar one — both possessions of my grandma who passed away in 2000) just caused pain. As much as I ached for all my years as a single adult to be a mom, in truth, I wasn’t naturally suited to motherhood in many ways. And the early years — actually, easily more than a decade — were fraught with paralyzing guilt and fear. At times, I truly believed that my kids “deserved better” (after all, I loved and cared about them so much and knew myself and my weakness so well — how could I as such a weak mortal be what these precious children deserved?)

I remember one day where I was neck-deep in the chaos and exhaustion of young motherhood when I called a treasured friend of mine, a mother of nine. I expressed my fears and guilt and concerns to her.

She said something like this:

Your children are alive, and you know how to dial 911 [emergency number]. You are doing awesome!

I still laugh at her words, but of course she wasn’t just trying to be funny.  She was telling me that all I was agonizing over simply wasn’t worth agonizing over. I was never supposed to be all that (whatever that was in my head).

As my relationship with God has deepened over the years, I’ve come to realize that God’s love, however IS all that and more. The Savior really fills in the gaps where I fall short, and then some (times eternity). And now that I’ve been doing this mothering thing for nearly 18 1/2 years, I see how God has sent so many other nurturing souls, both male and female, into my children’s lives.

I am grateful to say that now I can enjoy Mother’s Day in the safe arms of my Savior’s love and His compensatory power that makes my motherhood enough. God’s plan was for His precious children to be sent to imperfect parents.

We are told to be like a little child. I hope this beautiful Mother’s Day song, intended to reflect the pure, simple beliefs of a child, can bring peace and love from God to your heart on this Mother’s Day. And I’d like to invite you to think about how you enjoy expressing love to your children? If you do not currently have children of your own, I hope you will consider and know how your influence makes such a difference. (Such a difference!)

I hope you will have eyes to see what you are doing, especially today, and trust that God is always working in the background of our lives and the lives of our children. We were never meant to be enough without Him.

p.s. Many thanks to Shawna Edwards for her mother heart and the love she extends to so many through her music.

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I’m happy to share several links to recent addresses from our new Relief Society leaders!

In my opinion, one of the most under-celebrated events of the Relief Society — the worldwide Mormon women’s organization — was just held for two days this past week. BYU Women’s Conference is hosted by Brigham Young University, but is c0-sponsored by the Relief Society. Every year thousands of LDS women swarm the beautiful campus for two full days of general sessions, breakout classes, and significant service opportunities. I’ve attended this conference multiple times in the past, and there is a power at the conference that is amazing. I wish there was a way for more people to physically attend, but there is a way to virtually connect with some of what has happened.

Members of our new Relief Society General Presidency spoke on a couple of occasions during the BYU Women’s Conference. Sister Jean B. Bingham gave inspiring opening remarks to kick off the conference, before Sister Sharon Eubank’s powerful keynote address, and each presidency member spoke in a joint session.

In the coming weeks, other talks by faithful LDS women and men will be made available via the transcripts link at the BYU Women’s Conference site, but I’m thrilled to report that the talks given by our General Relief Society leaders are available for viewing now!

I’ll provide links to the various websites/pages below, but for ease, I’m also including direct links and embedding videos.

• “How Vast Is Our Purpose,” Sister Jean B. Bingham, BYU Women’s Conference, May 5, 2017 (Highlights found in this Deseret News article.) If you have ever felt “just average” Sister Bingham’s talk is for you! She is a perfect example of the power of humility and trust in the Lord in the face of overwhelming situations.
• “Eyes to See, Discipline to Create, Glue to Bind—Converted unto the Lord,” Sister Sharon Eubank BYU Women’s Conference keynote address, May 4, 2017 (again, this video also includes opening remarks by Sister Bingham). Sister Eubank shares personal experiences with the challenge (and faith that can be found) as a single sister in the Church, and has important insights into the power of Mormon women.
• “Relief Society—Divinely Ordained of God,” Sister Sharon Eubank, BYU Women’s Conference, May 5, 2017. Hear more of Sister Eubank’s experiences and insights as she is processing this new calling and what Relief Society means to her.
• “What Has Relief Society Been for Me?”, Sister Reyna I. Aburto, BYU Women’s Conference, May 5, 2017. Sister Aburto talks poignantly of the pain of being married to a drug and alcohol addict and the difficulty of facing divorce, finding the gospel, and discovering what it means to be a Mormon woman in the Relief Society.

Here is information to help you find talks by our Relief Society leaders in the future.

• At LDS.org, on the Relief Society page, under the sidebar section entitled “General Presidency Messages.”
• At LDS.org under the Broadcasts section, within the sidebar tab/section entitled “BYU Women’s Conference.” Right now, Sister Eubank’s keynote address is the only talk available. I’m sure that will change in short order.
• On Mormon Channel’s YouTube channel. I’ve embedded the videos below. Sister Sharon Eubank (new first counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency) was the opening keynote speaker of the BYU Women’s Conference, and Sister Jean B. Bingham (Relief Society General President) gave some opening remarks before the keynote. For whatever reason, the YouTube version right now has a loooong segment of Mormon Tabernacle Choir music (lovely music, but makes the video very looooong). You can find the beginning of the remarks (starting with Sister Bingham) at about the 1:15 mark (that is one hour and 15 minutes).

The Relief Society General Presidency also each spoke at another session of the conference. Again, scrub to about 1:04 (that’s one hour and 4 minutes) to get to the beginning of their talks.

In time, talks from BYU Women’s Conference will also be available at BYUtv.

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Sharon Eubank (bio here), director of LDS Charities, spoke at the FAIR Conference and received a standing ovation. Eubank is quick to note that she speaks from personal experience and perspective, but we think many of our readers will resonate with so much of her talk.

“This is a Woman’s Church” (be sure to listen to / read the reason she titled her talk in this way).

Editor’s note: I’ve got so many thoughts after this talk. I hope to write about some of them. I think she addressed the tensions surrounding women’s issues in a happy, articulate way. I think President Kimball would be proud. (“Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world.”)

Did you know Eubank has also given a TEDx talk? I didn’t.

– – – –

About LDS Charities, from the LDS Charities website:

Sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, LDS Charities is an application of the admonition of Jesus Christ to help others in need. Jesus Christ taught His followers to give meat to the hungry and drink to those who thirst. His is a gospel that includes taking in the stranger, loving neighbors as self, and visiting those who are sick or imprisoned. He taught that we are to love and care for each other, visit the fatherless and widows in their afflictions, and lift up those whose hands hang down and whose knees are feeble.

Services include

food production and processing, donated used clothing, employment and social services, and the ability to purchase goods locally in many parts of the world. We sponsor relief and development projects in 179 countries. Assistance is rendered without regard to race, religious affiliation, or nationality and is based on the core principles of personal responsibility, community support, self-reliance, and sustainability. Largely run with volunteer labor, we operate both independently and in cooperation with other charitable organizations and governments. More than one million man-days of labor are contributed yearly by volunteers in support of welfare initiatives.

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This is an exciting day. The General Women’s Meeting may be the largest meeting of females ever in the history of the world. As Mormons, we believe in the power of gathering. We believe in the power of womanhood.

We also believe in living prophets, and look forward to being able to hear from a prophet of God at the meeting tonight.

Friends not of our faith are welcome to gather with us.

There are many ways to hear the General Women’s Meeting for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which will be broadcast tonight from the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. Below is broadcast information, shared from lds.org.

I’m excited to share this semi-annual event with my daughters. Share your thoughts and experiences and photos via social media. @ldschurch, hashtag #womensmeeting.

	General Conference Website Video in 19 languages
	LDS General Conference YouTube Channel Video in English, Spanish, and Portuguese
	BYUtv Video and audio in English only
	BYUtv International Video and audio in Spanish and Portuguese
	Mormon Channel Website Video and audio in English and Spanish
	Mormon Channel Mobile Apps Video and audio in English and Spanish
	Mormon Channel on Roku Video in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French, and ASL.
	Facebook.com/LDS Video in English only

Many local cable and radio stations make conference readily available. Visitwww.bonneville.info for broadcast information or check local listings.

To view conference sessions at local meetinghouses, check with local leaders on the availability. Visit www.lds.org/maps to find a local meetinghouse.

Invite and Share via Social Media

Sisters wanting to invite friends and associates to participate in the meeting can find the Facebook event,  a YouTube video that explains the purpose of the meeting, and other helpful images and links to share here.

Speaker quotes and memes will be published live during the event in English, Spanish, and Portuguese on the following official Church social media accounts:

Twitter: @LDSChurch (#womensmeeting)

Facebook: Facebook.com/LDS

All social media posts will be consolidated and published on the general conference Share page for your convenience.

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I am a huge fan of collaborative efforts. I am a huge believer in the power of social media to do much good, and I love seeing Mormon women (and men) using the internet to share their faith. I am clearly passionate about the truths about womanhood, priesthood, and partnership of men and women in God’s plan. I’m also passionate about the power that comes into lives of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when they follow prophets in faith.

I’m observing all of these different things come alive in a brand new online initiative called Mormon Women Stand.

Here is the mission of Mormon Women Stand:

“Mormon Women Stand is a collaborative online effort to join like-minded female members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who share a desire to make a public stand as witnesses of Jesus Christ and in support of ‘The Family: A Proclamation to the World’. We believe standing together will reflect the divine nature and power that LDS women are endowed with to influence others for good. We unequivocally sustain the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles — commissioned by God and sustained as prophets, seers, and revelators. We support how the Lord has delegated priesthood authority to organize and administer the gospel among all of His children.” (MWS Facebook page)

In just the last two weeks since their launch, Mormon Women Stand has over 6,000 likes [as of 3-25-14, about 36 hours after posting this post, they now have over 7,000!] and hundreds and hundreds of shares of memes and other content. I’m not one who believes likes and shares are the only measure of impact, but the energy that women are feeling around this effort feels palpable to me.

I also was excited to find out tonight that they are doing a weekly Sunday Evening Classics discussion on their Facebook page. Ironically, I’m taking a Facebook break until the end of the month, so I haven’t participated in the conversation this time, but I will in the future. I hope you will, too. If you have a blog, perhaps you can consider sharing your insights on your blog or Facebook page.

This week, the Sunday Evening Classic discussion was about a talk given in 1972 by Elder Mark E. Peterson, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “Even as I Am.”What stands out to you from this talk? I’ve shared some of my thoughts below.

I love how Elder Peterson’s talk starts out by testifying of the Lord, Jesus Christ. He is the center of our faith as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When it comes to being a Mormon woman, for me, HE is the answer to what my role is in the Lord’s work. My role is to come to Him through His restored gospel and priesthood ordinances and to seek to make Him the center of my life. To rely on His atonement so I can feel peace and His power in my life. And then to follow the guidance of the Spirit to know how to serve others, as Elder Peterson urges us to do.

Elder Peterson speaks of the women in ancient writ who were the faithful disciples of the Savior. The stories of women in the New Testament are so powerful. I firmly believe that as Mormon women study the scriptures — not only for stories about women, but for principles and truths that show how the Lord’s saving power — is truly available to all. “Suffer all to come unto Him” Elder Peterson cries. To us as women, he invites, “Stand up and be counted for Him, be on His side.”

Elder Peterson talks of the pioneers who laid the foundation of the Latter-day work, men and women alike. His voice swells with energy as he says:

But now they have passed the torch on to us. What shall we do with it?

Shall we do as well as they did? Yes, at least.

Shall we shrink or shun the fight? No, never.

Shall we defend both truth and right? Yes, by all means.

Shall we grasp the iron rod, and strive to be found worthy of the kingdom of our God?

Yes! We shall! We shall!

And will we always remember this Lord whom we are to serve and in whose Church we shall labor?

He is the same Christ our parents knew, this Christ who cherishes His daughters equally with His sons.

I know this is true. While I sympathize with those who wonder about women’s place in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our doctrine to me is clear because of who the Savior, Jesus Christ is and what He has done for all of us. We have a work to do, and it’s a work that has been discussed since the early days of the Church and continues to be urged by our leaders.

I’m reminded of Julie B. Beck’s talk, Daughters in my Kingdom.

Because we are living in the last days of this earth, there are signs of a great struggle everywhere. Myths and misperceptions regarding the strength, purpose, and position of Latter-day Saint women abound. Prevailing myths imply that we are of lower importance than men, that we are generally sweet but uninformed, and that no matter what we do, we will never be enough to be accepted by our Heavenly Father. As the Apostle Peter said, there are “false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them.” ¹

…Sadly, as a result of life’s difficulties and the world’s popular heresies, many sisters believe the myths more than the truth.

And another quote from Sister Beck that includes the quote that guided my creation of Mormon Women: Who We Are over six years ago:

A revelation in the book of Joel states that in the last days, sons and daughters of God will prophesy and the Lord will pour out His Spirit upon His servants and His handmaids. ¹⁰ President Spencer W. Kimball echoed this prophecy when he said:

“Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world. …

“Thus it will be that female exemplars of the Church will be a significant force in both the numerical and spiritual growth of the Church in the last days.” ¹¹

I bear my witness that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The Lord depends on His daughters to do their part to strengthen the homes of Zion and build His kingdom on the earth. As they seek and qualify for personal revelation, the Lord will pour out His Spirit upon His handmaids in these latter days.

I love being a Mormon woman. I am excited to continue to see how the Lord will hasten His work, and how men and women and boys and girls committed to their covenants will be able to work together to prepare for the Second Coming of our dear Savior, Jesus Christ.

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For years I have watched people discuss women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have heard people talk unceasingly about Mormon women and priesthood. And I have ached for people to see that — as critical as priesthood keys and authority are to the message we proclaim to the world and to the functioning of the Savior’s church — priesthood ordination is not the only determinant of leadership, influence, or inspiration.

In fact, the power that flows through and from being set apart for callings under those who hold priesthood keys is evident in the leadership of women at all levels in the Church.

That power was shown again in an announcement that was made this week about visionary changes that continue to happen about how to meet the needs of women and young women in the Church.

You can read more about those changes in this Mormon Newsroom article, which include international board members for the Young Women leadership, and online training for auxiliary organizations that will be available for Mormon women worldwide.

One of the things that is reiterated in this article is that in the Church of Jesus Christ, the council system is at the heart of how decisions are made. Decisions are also made carefully, patiently, and deliberately. I’ve witnessed these patterns for decades now, and it thrills me to see the continued fruits of such inspired processes. Again, through these processes the power of God is channeled and divine guidance unfolds.

Lastly, I love the celebration of the energy and potential of children and the realization that even at young ages our girls have something to bring to the Lord’s work. Where else in the world can you see such unified, focused efforts to channel and combine the gifts and power of girls, young women, and women all at once? I am excited about the first semiannual women’s meeting that will be held on March 29 — made available through technology to Mormon girls and women throughout the world.

Yes, I love being a Mormon woman.

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I have been thinking a lot about the issue of Mormon women and the priesthood, and how some of my sisters and brothers in the Church feel that the only way that women’s worth can be fully proven (or their talents fully utilized) is to have women ordained to the priesthood. I’ve even heard it said that women are only getting crumbs at the table in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because they don’t have the priesthood. This honestly breaks my heart to hear women say. I can understand the desire for institutional similarity in roles and responsibilities, but I simply disagree with this kind of assertion about what women can and do experience in the Church.

Ultimately the Church is not about who does what, it’s about providing the means whereby we can access the power and blessings that come from the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

As I thought about this notion of crumbs at the table last night, I was reminded of a phrase that I love from S. Michael Wilcox: “What we must understand about our Father in Heaven is that He only gives bread; He never gives stones. He only gives fish; He never gives serpents. He only gives eggs; He never gives scorpions.”

And He never gives just crumbs. God gives the Bread of Life to all who seek it. The Master’s table is spread, and we are all invited to partake.

In the context of talking about the misperceptions about the role of women in the Church that are often perpetuated on the internet, Elder Ballard recently plead with us to “be cautious and wise to ever keep uppermost in our minds the simple doctrine and gospel of Christ.”

The doctrine of Christ is powerful and beautiful. And it really is simple. All who desire to partake of His grace may come to Him through “faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance of sin, baptism by immersion for the remission of sin, receiving the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end” [also from Elder Ballard]. There is no inequality in God’s eternal plan. There is only Bread. The reality that “all are alike unto God” is demonstrated by the fact that He has provided a way for all who are living and all who have ever lived to “come to [Christ] and partake of His goodness.” That goodness includes the peace of His power in our lives now, the grace to be forgiven of sin and covered in our weakness, and the promise of life after death.

And, as Elder Neal A. Maxwell once said, “In the world to come, to these, the most faithful, our generous Father will give “all that [He] hath” (D&C 84:38). Brothers and sisters, there isn’t any more!” (From the talk “Apply the Atoning Blood of Jesus Christ.”)

What does the doctrine of Christ mean to you? How have you felt the power of the Savior’s atonement in your life? How have you seen His power and grace in the lives of those you love?

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I’ve added this to my list of resources for Pondering Mormon Women and Priesthood. Sheri Dew obviously has a strong testimony of the value of women in Heavenly Father’s plan, and she shared some of that with a reporter in an interview in Europe. Even speaking practically, without much doctrinal background, she captured some of what the women of the Church do and have done since our early Church history.

She also talks with a doctrinal focus for the women who attended her presentation at this particular Time Out for Women gathering. Her words are reflective of things that Elder Ballard recently said in his BYU Devotional address during Education Week. There are patterns in these teachings that go back decades as well. Note, for example, the quote from Bruce R. McConkie in Sister Dew’s talk. Note the quotes by President Joseph F. Smith, John A. Widtsoe, and James E. Talmage in Elder Ballard’s talk. Similar teachings exist in various other resources listed in the previous post on pondering priesthood.

Following are some of the quotes to which I refer:

Here’s the Bruce R. McConkie quote (Sister Dew quoted part of this, and you can read the whole talk by Elder McConkie here. This address was given at a dedicatory service for the Nauvoo Monument to Women.)

Where spiritual things are concerned, as pertaining to all of the gifts of the Spirit, with reference to the receipt of revelation, the gaining of testimonies, and the seeing of visions, in all matters that pertain to godliness and holiness and which are brought to pass as a result of personal righteousness—in all these things men and women stand in a position of absolute equality before the Lord. He is no respecter of persons nor of sexes, and he blesses those men and those women who seek him and serve him and keep his commandments.

Sister Beck’s talk “An Outpouring of Blessings” captures in even more detail how sons and daughters of God are equally blessed by the priesthood. Her general summaries are very similar to what Sister Dew talks about as well, though.

The blessings of the priesthood, which “are available to men and women alike,”3 are woven in and through and around their lives. Each of them is blessed by sacred ordinances, and each of them can enjoy the blessings of spiritual gifts by virtue of the priesthood….

I am grateful that through the infinite fairness and love of God, all men and women were given equal partnership, gifts, blessings, and potential through priesthood ordinances and spiritual gifts. Because of the priesthood, which is woven in and around and through our lives, every power, every covenant we need to do our life’s work and walk back to our heavenly home has been poured out upon our heads.

As Sister Patricia Holland said in her article about LDS womanhood, truth is found in patterns. There are powerful patterns in teachings about the priesthood. To stop only at analyzing administrative duties stops one short of seeking and understanding more about doctrinal truths related to the partnership of men and women in God’s eternal plan for His children.

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