RJJ’s question:

Okay so, I have a bit of a spiel before I get to my question, here goes. I am a gay man, and I’d say I’m out and proud, and very happy with my lifestyle, I have friends who follow the Mormon teachings and they are genuinely accepting of my lifestyle and loving, dear friends on top of that acceptance. I don’t believe in any religion myself but I’m respectful of others beliefs, and I’d like to think I’m extremely at peace with my friends and their faith and beliefs (I come from the UK and have a very varied pool of friends with extremely varied belief systems). From what I can gather in research and from my friends is that the Church of LDS is against not homosexuality itself, but homosexual acts, as the sin is in the behaviour, not the predisposition to act sinfully, and that one of the reasons the Church is against homosexuality is that homosexual acts take place outside of marriage. This leads me into my question, if the law of the land were to change to allow same-sex marriage would that then, in your opinion. possibly lead the Church to a new stance on the issue of homosexuality? I ask this here because this seems like a level headed forum of ideas and you give more casual advice and guidance than the official Church of LDS, and also because I have a great respect for Mormons in general, I’ve never met an unkind or impolite Mormon (and manners are rated very highly by me) and as a whole the organised religion of the Church of LDS doesn’t seem to want to condemn anyone, I may be wrong but as far as I can see it’s more about praising goodness and faith then condemning sinners to hell, and I can get on board with that ideal. Thank you for any light you can shed on this issue, hope all is well.

RJJ, thanks for your question. First of all, thank you for your kind words; I’m glad to hear that your experiences with members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have been positive. We also appreciate the respectful tone of your question, and I hope that something I say might be helpful.

You are correct in the sense that the Church has taken a position that focuses on behavior and not on inclination (after all, we all have inclination to sin in one way or another). You have likely heard or read stories from members of the Church who have same-sex attraction and are able to be, as we say, “members in good standing” if they live the law of chastity (no sexual relationships outside of marriage).

And you ask a reasonable question.. If I’m understanding it correctly (and please let me know if I’m misunderstanding your question), you are wondering what will happen if and as the law of the land shifts around the definition of marriage. Will the Church would ever change its position to accommodate same-sex relationships within a legal marriage?

You have asked for my opinion, and I will give it here. I do not believe that the Church will change its position on the law of chastity to accommodate same-sex relationships, even as the law of the land is changing. Why do I think this? I am one who likes to watch patterns in what our prophets are teaching, and something that they are very consistent about is making our stand about marriage unmistakably clear. They also recognize that the laws may change, but they have repeatedly stated that God’s laws will not.

I could share many quotes that show this pattern. I think the following quote can suffice to illustrate what kind of teaching I’m referring to. This is from Elder Dallin H. Oaks, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Before his call, he was a Supreme Court Justice in Utah. He understands both our doctrines as well as the legal elements of questions like the one you have posed.

Our understanding of God’s plan and His doctrine gives us an eternal perspective that does not allow us to condone such behaviors or to find justification in the laws that permit them. And, unlike other organizations that can change their policies and even their doctrines, our policies are determined by the truths God has identified as unchangeable…. [L]aws legalizing so-called “same-sex marriage” do not change God’s law of marriage or His commandments and our standards concerning it.

The doctrine of marriage between a man and woman is central to our belief system. The law of chastity — that commandment, the standard related to sexual relationships — is inextricably tied to that doctrine of marriage as we believe it has been defined by God.

No, we do not seek to condemn, but we do seek to share what we believe because we do believe that the commandments of God are for all of His children. We invite people to learn about the eternal nature of our existence as children of heavenly parents, the plan of salvation (which includes the doctrine of marriage and the purpose of life), about the Savior and His commandments and covenants  (and why they exist), and about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

But then we seek to respect the right of people to choose what they will believe and do in their own lives. Thank you again for your respectful engagement here. I do hope this has been of some help, but please do feel free to follow up if you have more questions.

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More thoughts to come on this…. Here’s the link to the official statement.

On December 20, 2013, a federal district judge in Salt Lake City issued an order legalizing same-sex marriage in Utah, striking down century-old state laws and a state constitutional amendment that defined marriage exclusively as between a man and a woman. The United States Supreme Court has put that ruling on hold pending consideration of the issue by an appellate court. During the interval between the district court ruling and the Supreme Court stay, numerous same-sex marriages were performed in Utah. Legal proceedings and legislative action in some other states and countries have given civil recognition to same-sex marriage relationships.

As we face this and other issues of our time, we encourage all to bear in mind our Heavenly Father’s purposes in creating the earth and providing for our mortal birth and experience here as His children. “God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:27–28). “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to His plan for His children and for the well-being of society. Strong families, guided by a loving mother and father, serve as the fundamental institution for nurturing children, instilling faith, and transmitting to future generations the moral strengths and values that are important to civilization and crucial to eternal salvation.

Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established. God expects us to uphold and keep His commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society. His law of chastity is clear: sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife. We urge you to review and teach Church members the doctrine contained in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”

Just as those who promote same-sex marriage are entitled to civility, the same is true for those who oppose it. The Church insists on its leaders’ and members’ constitutionally protected right to express and advocate religious convictions on marriage, family, and morality free from retaliation or retribution. The Church is also entitled to maintain its standards of moral conduct and good standing for members.

Consistent with our fundamental beliefs, Church officers will not employ their ecclesiastical authority to perform marriages between two people of the same sex, and the Church does not permit its meetinghouses or other properties to be used for ceremonies, receptions, or other activities associated with same-sex marriages. Nevertheless, all visitors are welcome to our chapels and premises so long as they respect our standards of conduct while there.

While these matters will continue to evolve, we affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same-sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully. The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility—even when we disagree.

As members of the Church, we are responsible to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to illuminate the great blessings that flow from heeding God’s commandments as well as the inevitable consequences of ignoring them. We invite you to pray that people everywhere will have their hearts softened to the truths of the gospel, and that wisdom will be granted to those who are called upon to decide issues critical to society’s future.

The post Church Instructs Leaders on Same-Sex Marriage appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we often talk about the plan of salvation. This is the topic that the youth in the Church will be focusing throughout the month of February.

What is the plan of salvation? This index entry on the plan of salvation at lds.org gives a simple summary:

In the premortal existence, Heavenly Father prepared a plan to enable us to become like Him and receive a fulness of joy. The scriptures refer to this plan as “the plan of salvation” (Alma 24:14; Moses 6:62), “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8), “the plan of redemption” (Jacob 6:8; Alma 12:30), and “the plan of mercy” (Alma 42:15). The plan of salvation is the fulness of the gospel. It includes the Creation, the Fall, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and all the laws, ordinances, and doctrines of the gospel. Moral agency, the ability to choose and act for ourselves, is also essential in Heavenly Father’s plan. Because of this plan, we can be perfected through the Atonement, receive a fulness of joy, and live forever in the presence of God. Our family relationships can last throughout the eternities.

The new youth curriculum gives scriptural references that explain more about the plan of salvation, and also includes many questions that people often have that an understanding of the plan of salvation can help with. For example, see the following questions. You can follow the links for scriptures, videos, talks from Mormon church leaders, and more.

• What is the plan of salvation?
• What happened in my premortal life?
• What is the purpose of life?
• Why do the choices I make matter?
• Why do we have adversity?
• How can I find comfort when someone I care about dies?
• Why should I treat my body like a temple?

See all the videos available this month on the topic of the plan of salvation also at this Mormon Channel page.

The post The Plan of Salvation appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

He was an Evangelical Christian pastor for nearly three decades. He held “nearly every ministerial position there is, including pastor, evangelist, youth pastor, children’s minister, Christian education director and more” who “taught and believed that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — [sometimes] referred to as the Mormon Church — was a cult. He had no experience with the church’s members and no reason to assume otherwise.”

So what would lead Tom Scott and his wife to convert to Mormonism?

Read their story here. (Quotes from above are from the story.)

Hear Tom and his wife Maggie tell their Mormon conversion stories in the following video, It’s True : An Evangelical Pastor’s Journey to Truth in the Mormon Church:

The post Former Evangelical Pastor Shares Mormon Conversion Story appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Mormons Believe: We are all children of God

~by Michelle

I’ll never forget when I first discovered that my (then) very young song son knew the Primary song, “I am a Child of God.” He could barely talk, but he could sing this song.

This is the first song in the Children’s Songbook of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (It’s also in our book of hymns.) I think there is a reason that it comes first in the songbook — because it is a foundational truth in our faith. There is probably nothing that matters to me more than having my children understand that they are children of a loving Heavenly Father.

And I know how much this simple truth helps me in my life.

I was just talking to my sister yesterday about how when I know and feel God’s love for and awareness of me, it makes all the difference. I can face my challenges with more faith and strength and patience. I can make choices with more deliberateness and focus. I can teach my children with such deliberateness as well.

This new Mormon Messages video includes myriad people singing this song, reminding us that we are all children of God. He loves us. He has a plan for us.

I hope you can feel the peace and power of this simple message: You are a child of God!

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A few years ago I realized something very important – that the story of Jesus Christ’s birth is about more than a manger – oh, so much more! The angels’ singing wasn’t just about a baby being born. They sang because they knew God’s promises were beginning to be fulfilled with that special birth. To understand their joy fully, we need to remember the rest of the story….

The story of Jesus Christ’s birth began before he was born, even before Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden. It began in a meeting in heaven, called by our Heavenly Father for all of His spirit children. You and I were there as He explained His plan for all of us.

We would each have the opportunity to come to earth, to have a physical body. During our time on earth, we would learn, and grow, and make choices. That agency, the freedom to choose, was one of Heavenly Father’s precious gifts to us. We would need to learn to use it wisely so we could return to his presence after our time on earth.

We were excited to go to earth, but worried as we realized that bad choices we might make would keep us from being able to live with our loving Heavenly Father forever.

Satan volunteered to go down to earth to be sure that none of us would go astray. He guaranteed that we’d all make it back to Heavenly Father. His plan, however, would take away our ability to choose for ourselves, taking away that precious gift Father had given us. And Satan sought for his own glory, not Father’s.

Jesus, on the other hand, offered his life as a payment for our bad choices. He would suffer for our sins so that we wouldn’t have to, if we would repent and forsake them. Jesus sought only to glorify Heavenly Father, and to help us all return safely home – if we chose to repent for our mistakes.

Heavenly Father chose Jesus’ to fulfill His plan, and Satan was angry. He convinced a third of Heavenly Father’s spirit children to follow him in open rebellion. Satan and his followers were cast out of heaven, without bodies.

It is Satan’s goal to keep those of us who chose to follow Heavenly Father from returning to his presence. He and his followers use what ever means they can: flattery, distraction, temptation, discouragement, lies. They only want to foil Father’s plan and have us be miserable like they are: unable to progress or receive Heavenly Father’s promised blessings. They don’t care about us; they just want to win.

Adam and Eve knew of Heavenly Father’s plan because angels came to teach them these important truths. They taught their children, and so on. Prophets have taught of the coming of Christ throughout history, reminding the people of Heavenly Father’s love for them, that he would send his Only Begotten Son to show them how to live worthy to return to his presence. People needed to know that they shouldn’t give up if they made a bad choice. Overcoming a mistake or a sin was not impossible, as Satan said, but with God, all things are possible – even overcoming mistakes if we will have faith in Jesus Christ and repent.

People needed to know of the promise of resurrection – that even though Christ would die, he would be resurrected, his body and spirit being reunited. And because Christ would overcome death, all of us would be able to be resurrected, too.

So on that starlit night, when the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, was born in a manger, I believe we were among those who rejoiced. We knew that because of his birth, we could repent and be forgiven when we made bad choices. And our body and spirit could be reunited and resurrected after we died.

Most of all, we rejoiced because, through Jesus Christ, we could return to be with our Heavenly Father again forever. If we would repent.

This is why the birth of Christ that we celebrate each Christmas is about oh, so much more than a manger!

The post My Testimony of Christmas appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“…we rejoice in our conviction that our family is bound by eternal ties that cannot be severed by death…. Our great hope is that reflection on the lives of Rebecca and Rachel will spur all of us – those close to us and those unknown – to consider more fully the eternal plan that a loving God has for each of His children. Many have questioned, ‘How can they bear it? How can they go on?’ We testify that the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ, is sufficient to overcome our deepest sorrows and heaviest burdens. When our strength is depleted, we are certain that He will shoulder the weight of our sadness. Saturday’s services will reinforce this faith, and we invite all to participate in what is sure to be a spiritually-uplifting and life-affirming day.”

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

The post The Power of Faith in the Face of Tragedy appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

This week, we address the question of what happens to those who commit suicide, as there are often concerns about the eternal situation of someone who takes their own life.

Today, we share some quotes and links for anyone wondering about this question.

First, in this article, Elder M. Russell Ballard (a current member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) shares quotes and thoughts that help explore this question further. He says:

I feel that judgement for sin is not always as cut-and-dried as some of us seem to think….  I feel the Lord recognized differences in intent and circumstances: Was the person who took his life mentally ill? Was he or she so deeply depressed as to be unbalanced or otherwise emotionally disturbed? Was the suicide a tragic, pitiful call for help that went unheeded too long or progressed faster than the victim intended? Did he or she somehow not understand the seriousness of the act? Was he or she suffering from a chemical imbalance in their system that led to despair and a loss of self-control?

Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.

When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth….Suicide is a sin—a very grievous one, yet the Lord will not judge the person who commits that sin strictly by the act itself. The Lord will look at that person’s circumstances and the degree of his accountability at the time of the act.

Elder Ballard also shares a quote from Joseph Smith:

“While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard. … He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men, but, ‘according to the deeds done in the body whether they be good or evil,’ or whether these deeds were done in England, America, Spain, Turkey, or India. … We need not doubt the wisdom and intelligence of the Great Jehovah; He will award judgement [sic] or mercy to all nations according to their several deserts, their means of obtaining intelligence, the laws by which they are governed, the facilities afforded them of obtaining correct information, and His inscrutable designs in relation to the human family; and when the designs of God shall be made manifest, and the curtain of futurity be withdrawn, we shall all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the earth has done right.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, edited by Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1938, p. 218.)

Elder Ballard reminds us that we ought not use this doctrine about the Lord’s perfect mercy and judgment to justify sin. But he also teaches us that progress continues even after death.

Of course, this gives us no reason to excuse ourselves in committing sins, nor will the Lord excuse us, if I understand correctly. We must constantly strive to do our best in following the example of the Savior in every aspect of our lives. At the same time, however, let us rememberthat spiritual growth comes ‘line upon line,’ that the key—in the spirit world as well as in mortality—is to keep progressing along the right path.

In addition to sharing these and other doctrinal reflections, Elder Ballard also includes a few personal experiences from people in his article.

We encourage anyone wondering about this question to read and ponder his article.

We also include a couple of links to others’ experiences here. As we do, we reiterate something Elder Ballard said as a preface to the experiences of others that he shared. He said:

I must point out that individual spiritual experiences of Church members do not determine Church doctrine.

Understanding this reality, we do feel there is much that can be gained from reading others’ thoughts and feelings and experiences as they have sorted through this question and the pain that results from a loved one taking his/her own life. Perhaps some of their perspectives may ring true for those who are wondering about these questions.

My Son’s Suicide: Seeking Gospel Perspectives: A woman shares gospel perspectives and experiences that helped her sort through her own guilt, and through her grief and worry. Elder Ballard’s words brought her great comfort and perspective. She also shares how a deeper understanding of the Savior’s Atonement helped her sort through the thoughts about the seeming unfairness of life and circumstances.

With all the heartfelt reflection on the Savior’s mercy, love, and perfect judgment that He will give us, she also shares these poignant
thoughts:

I don’t think for a minute that all is peace and serenity on the other side for someone who commits suicide. This dangerous myth has sometimes spawned more suicide in the aftermath. Death does not shield us from the consequences of our actions or the sorrow for sin necessary for repentance….No matter how much comfort there may be in the Savior’s mercy and goodness to those who choose to take their own lives, I feel that Brian would tell us now that the most important decision any of us can make is to stay the course, finish the race, endure to the end. Only God knows when we have learned all we were sent here to learn and served all those He has sent us to serve. I can’t help but feel that Brian’s pain would be deepened, his regrets magnified greatly, should any of his friends or relatives choose a similar “way out.”

She ends with lessons she feels she her son taught her in life and death — lessons that are helping her continue to seek God more and to seek to be more like Him.

We Believe: Perspective: A couple experiences hope and healing as they have temple work performed for their adult son who had committed suicide. This essay reiterates the principle that life does continue after death, and so does the potential for progress.

Again, reiterating what others quoted here have said, truths such as this should not lead us to justify ourselves or others in sin. But knowing that life and progress do continue after this life can bring hope for those wondering about a love one’s life cut short by suicide.

——-

If you are wondering about general Mormon teachings about what happens after death, see here and here for a couple of articles on the topic written by Church members. For official Church material on the subject, we recommend searching at lds.org on topics like “plan of salvation” or “life after death” or watch videos on topics such as this at mormon.org.

——-

The post Ask A Mormon Woman: What do Mormons believe about suicide? (part 2) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

As we reflect on the events of 9-11, and consider all the current difficulties facing people the world over, we wanted to address this question today — one we have heard often.

This question (or a variation of it, such as “If there is a God, why does He let bad things happen?”) is one that I think most of us struggle with at some level, at some point in our lives. It’s normal to want to have a life relatively free of pain; we are actually wired to want to avoid pain (think “fight-or-flight”). Much in our world (sometimes for good and sometimes for ill) is designed to help alleviate pain, or to at least distract us from it.

It’s hard sometimes not to envy others’ lives that seem to be easier, more “blessed.” Or on the flip side, to be so consumed by the inequalities of life so as to lose hope and feel buried in despair. Or to feel so helpless because we can only do so much to help alleviate the suffering in the world.

Sometimes, to those who believe (or who want to believe) in God, the struggle with pain and the desire for relief from suffering can equate to a trial of faith.

“If God is really there, why doesn’t He intervene?”

“Why haven’t my (their) prayers been answered?”

“How long do I (they) have to wait on the Lord?”

“Does God really care about me (them)?”

“Why does God let innocent people suffer and die?”

The list of questions that sometimes come could go on and on.

There has been much written on this subject, by people of many faiths and persuasions. For each person, finding peace in the midst of trial will probably be a little different.

Following are two clusters of truth that help me not only accept my own challenges, but also process the broader questions about the issue of human suffering. This is not meant to be an exhaustive summary of Mormon doctrine or of my personal perspective. I share only a few things that help me address this question. I welcome your thoughts as well (comments are moderated, so don’t worry if they don’t show up immediately).

1. Mortality was not meant to be easy. The opposition and pain is part of a loving plan — a plan designed to allow us to learn by experience now and to eventually enjoy great eternal blessings.

I recall a time when my oldest was quite young, maybe about four or five. He had watched me, his mother, struggle with chronic health issues (which I have had for several years). He asked a pointed and poignant question: “Mom, why do people sometimes get sick?”

Obviously, it was a loaded question. And obviously, I felt an urgent desire to give him a clear answer that might help his young mind to understand truth.

God did not fail me in that moment. I had a very distinct idea come to mind.

I grabbed a couple of hand weights, and started pumping them. I may have even had him try.

You know where I went with that, of course.

We still will often talk in our family about how we can look at our trials as spiritual weights. Think about the metaphor; we have to literally break down muscle tissue in order to have our muscles strengthened. Our spirits will be tested in similar ways through the pain and struggles of mortality. But like a caring, wise trainer, God will often give us opportunities to stretch, to push through pain, to keep going —  beyond where we think our limits might be sometimes — because He knows what benefits lie in spiritual resistance.

There are many scriptures that capture my thoughts on this. One is Romans 8:18: “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Faith to me includes holding onto the fact that even though the pain is real — and I believe God knows and empathizes with that — God knows and understands so much more than we do about the purpose of opposition now, and what awaits us after this life. Because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, there is redemption from death through the resurrection (which will come to us all), and the possibility for glory beyond our comprehension.

Another critical part of this plan of mortality includes what we call agency in Mormon doctrine — the opportunity God gives us to make choices based on knowledge that we have, to learn by experience, to have the opportunity to grow and gain wisdom through trial and error. That fact alone makes mortality very, very messy. We are all imperfect beings. We all make mistakes, and we make them often. Sometimes mistakes are serious, even sinful, and can cause great disruption, pain, and suffering for others — even for those who are innocent. As hard as it is to comprehend, even all this messiness has a place in God’s plan.

Here is my second cluster of thoughts, which build on what I have discussed above.

2. Pain can help us find out more about ourselves, gain compassion for others, and discover more about God and His plan — and about the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Regardless of whether one believes in God, adversity does give one an opportunity to dig deep for the wherewithal to rise to the challenge. Again, books have been written about the triumph of the human soul in the face of severe trial. We can discover that we are stronger than we think we are when we are put to tests of character, patience, endurance, forgiveness, courage and many other virtues. We can learn things that perhaps may not be easily learned any other way but through the “school of hard knocks.”

I discussed this question with a friend of mine today. Jenny shared this thought:

I think God already has a pretty good idea of who we are. But we don’t. Through our experiences in life we come to know ourselves better. When you read an incredible story about someone helping Jews during WWII or running into the World Trade Center to save someone on 9-11 do you ever wonder ‘Would I do that if I were there?’ Well, to me that is some of what life is about. To see what we will do when faced with hard situations.

One of our prophets, Spencer W. Kimball said something that I have leaned on more than once when considering this question:

If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, … agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith.

If pain and sorrow and total punishment immediately followed the doing of evil, no soul would repeat a misdeed. If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there could be no evil—all would do good and not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no…agency. … There would also be an absence of joy, success, resurrection, eternal life….

The opposition and unpredictable (messy!) nature of how life unfolds is an essential part of God’s plan for us, for our eternal growth. It’s resistance training at its finest!

Adversity also can help us have compassion for others, and can enable us to serve and help and lift another. Empathy is a powerful tool in healing hearts and lives and relationships. Love can do much to alleviate the suffering of others, and can motivate us to want to help others in need. (Sometimes God won’t intervene because He gives us the chance to step in and serve!) Forgiveness in the face of suffering inflicted by another’s poor choices also expand our capacity for love and compassion.

I am especially compelled by the notion that, if we will let them, our trials can help us find God and His strength and grace, which surpasses anything that we can find or do on our own. A scripture comes to mind from 2 Corinthians. Interestingly, Paul had prayed to have a “thorn” removed from his life. Rather than having it removed, he got this answer from the Lord:

And he said unto me, My ^agrace is sufficient for thee…

And then Paul shares the insight that changed how he sees his affliction:

…for my ^bstrength is made perfect in ^cweakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may ^drest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in ^ainfirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in ^bpersecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am ^cweak, then am I ^dstrong.

While it’s definitely not easy to find pleasure in pain (and I think it takes experience to let that gift of perspective distill), I have  caught glimpses of that power of Christ, brought into my life through the influence of the Holy Ghost. I have seen and felt that power in the lives of others as well. Even when people don’t realize it, I believe their ability to find light in the darkness comes through Jesus Christ as a blessing from God.

That power in my life can bridge the gap between me and heaven. It helps me understand more about the Savior’s Atonement, and about the deep and abiding love of my Heavenly Father and His Son. As I trust in that power, my faith is enhanced.  Hope increases. I feel strength beyond my own. I am able to see trials more as stepping stones, not stumbling blocks.

When Jenny and I first started talking, she summed up her thoughts simply. She essentially said, “‘Bad’ is relative; it’s in the eye of the beholder.” She talked about recently hearing stories about those who suffered severe trials — life-threatening cancer, being involved on the front lines in World War II. There was a theme in these stories, which was, “I’m a better person because of what I suffered.”

I will say again that I don’t think that God is unaware of how hard “bad” things can be. And I believe He doesn’t fault us when we honestly struggle. I think honesty about our struggles can help us face them, find the good, and find God. Too much focus on the pain, however, can bring despair and hopelessness, which at their core are not of God. We don’t have to punish ourselves when we may feel those emotions, but I believe it helps to recognize that fundamentally, God is a God of hope. The message of the Atonement of the Savior, Jesus Christ, is a message of hope. The plan that includes the pain of mortality is a plan of hope. Because we are His children, God can help us find hope in the midst of suffering, and perspective in the midst of trial.

When we try to see some good in our bad times, or at least trust good is there somewhere (or will unfold sometime — now or eternally), glimmers of light can shine through even the darkest times. Any effort to try to choose that kind of light is a step forward. Sometimes that progress comes a little at a time, and sometimes in the moment, it can feel like one step forward and two steps back. But I can’t imagine that any effort at choosing to “find the silver lining” is wasted. The more we choose hope, the more I think we are empowered to choose it again, and the more we recognize and enjoy the perspective and peace amid trial that can come into our lives as we do.

Truly, as Jenny noted, anytime I read or watch a story about someone who has overcome great adversity, that theme of finding some good in the bad is always, always there. This isn’t just about a superficial optimism in my mind, but in digging deep to choose a measure of hope even when it seems nearly impossible to do, and even when things don’t work out as we want.

So, why do good things happen to bad people? I know I don’t come close to understanding it all, but I do know there is a God. He is real. He loves us. Pain is not evidence that He doesn’t care, but is part of an eternal plan for our growth, progress, learning, and development. I hold onto those realities as I face daily pain of chronic illness and other trials, and as I sometimes am weighed down by the pain others experience. In the end, I trust in the truth that Jesus Christ is our “high priest of good things to come” (Heb. 8:6; Heb. 9:11). Because of Him, I — you, we — can have hope.

For more perspective on this topic, see the video below (in English and in Spanish). This video, entitled “Finding Hope,” shares the story of a survivor of 9-11 and how, through his faith in Jesus Christ, he has found blessings in his life in spite of — and even because of — his involvement in that tragedy. (“Una Nueva Esperanza” — Un hombre describe el trayecto recorrido desde la tragedia del 11 de septiembre de 2001 hasta una nueva esperanza por medio de la fe en Jesucristo.)

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~by Chantal

“We think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting – any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples “ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends “you have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another. The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others.” –CS Lewis, The Four Loves, p. 85

Choice friends cross our life path at unexpected times and often in ways we don’t recognize at first. Severall years ago, my dear friend-to-be, Cindy, served as the Stake Relief Society President and is a midwife by profession. We had a Stake Relief Society service project in conjunction with the Relief Society broadcast that was no different than many others I’d attended over the years. And yet, this event would end up being a significant experience in the tapestry of my life.

This particular Saturday, we had gathered donations and were assembling birthing kits to go to Mozambique, Africa. Cindy had joined a medical team to give training to traditional birth assistants in rural Mozambique. These kits included a sheet of plastic (for the mother to lie on the ground), a shoe string (to tie off the umbilical cord), a razor blade, and several disinfectant wipes. She then showed a video from her experience there. I cried for the mothers in Mozambique. How is it possible that nearly half of the almost 6 billion people of the world live today in such abject poverty?

A few months later, in my role as Primary President in my ward [local congregation], we were setting up for a Primary activity. I was expecting our 5th child and had to leave early and to go to a doctor’s appointment for a routine monthly checkup — which I felt was a waste of time.

But this checkup turned out not to be routine at all. There was no heartbeat.

Ultrasound confirmed our baby had died inside of me. After a difficult induced delivery, our baby daughter, Ann, was born four days later with a kink in the umbilical cord. We held her, dressed her and buried her in the dust of the earth.

Here I became acquainted with death, grief, and God.

I am always astounded at the depth of pain I felt for a little one I had for such a short time. This heart-searing pain came from the depth of love a mother has for her baby, given only by God. My greatest desire was to hold, love, raise and nurture this beautiful daughter.

Grief was a confusing mystery to me. The anger, the depression, the forgetfulness, the loss of time and motivation all came in waves I did not recognize or understand. Most surprising to me was also the loss of self-esteem and confidence. It doesn’t seem to be mentioned much. But all that I was, all that I knew, all that I believed was crushed into tiny pieces, mixed together and left in a pile of mess at my feet. How do I begin from there?

I won’t go into much detail on the year following except to say that after much fasting, prayer and a priesthood blessing we decided to have one more little baby. Not to replace our little girl, for no one will replace, but we felt to move on. In full confidence and faith we were delighted to learn another little daughter would join our family. Having paid my dues to death and with such astronomical medical odds of such a problem, I moved on in courage, not fear, and hope.

But again at a regular appointment in nearly identical fashion and timing, there was no heartbeat. It had never even remotely crossed my mind that this could happen again. The surprise and shock was more than I could wrap my mind around. There are no words to express the stunned crushing blow that moment held. I literally thought my own heart would stop and I would die of pain on the spot as I collapsed to the floor. It is far more horrific when you know what is ahead and I was hysterical. I learned that death twice is exponentially more painful and difficult.

I fought depression with anger. I was mad. Mad at the world, mad at people, mad that I would have four out of six children to raise here on earth. Logically, I understood everything about the plan of salvation but my heart would not match my logic. The river of emotions came despite my knowledge and faith. It was several years but felt like a lifetime. I felt 90 years old. Then I was numb. I felt nothing. I wondered if as a mother I could ever find joy after such grief or if I would have to die first. I prayed many times my other children would forget and not be too damaged from the difficulty of those years.

Here is where my friendship with Cindy changed my life….

(Please follow this link for Part 2.)

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