“…we rejoice in our conviction that our family is bound by eternal ties that cannot be severed by death…. Our great hope is that reflection on the lives of Rebecca and Rachel will spur all of us – those close to us and those unknown – to consider more fully the eternal plan that a loving God has for each of His children. Many have questioned, ‘How can they bear it? How can they go on?’ We testify that the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ, is sufficient to overcome our deepest sorrows and heaviest burdens. When our strength is depleted, we are certain that He will shoulder the weight of our sadness. Saturday’s services will reinforce this faith, and we invite all to participate in what is sure to be a spiritually-uplifting and life-affirming day.”

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

The post The Power of Faith in the Face of Tragedy appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

My name is Kathryn and I recently emailed my fabulous meatloaf recipe to my only daughter, but I added a warning: “If you take off your wedding ring—especially during deer hunting season–put it in a safe place.”

When my daughter was in high school, we lived for a year in a town of nine hundred people. There were no streetlights in the entire county and you had to drive over two hours just to buy fast food or a ticket to see a movie. One day I slipped off my diamond wedding ring; mixed ground beef, bread crumbs, egg, ketchup, vegetables, and spices with my bare hands; and popped it into the oven. I was exhausted by the time we had devoured that yummy meatloaf and cleaned up the kitchen.

The next morning I looked down at my left hand. Where was my wedding ring? I checked all the obvious places, but no ring. I wondered if I had set it on the counter, carelessly wiping it into the trash. I checked under the sink, but my husband must have grabbed the trash on his way to work. In this tiny town there was no trash pick-up at your home; a landfill truck randomly emptied a few black dumpsters located on the outskirts of town. I immediately called my husband at work and he offered to retrieve the garbage bag he had just thrown into a dumpster.

A few minutes later he called with the horrible news –the dumpster was empty.  However, my husband was not worried. He had seen a deer carcass in the dumpster, so if we drove to the landfill first thing in the morning, we could locate the deer carcass and the diamond ring was certain to be near by.

I felt optimistic because I believe in miracles.  I prayed fervently that I would find my wedding ring.

The sun had just barely peeked over the mountains when we pulled up to the landfill nestled in the middle of an isolated valley.  I saw a bulldozer already spreading the previous day’s trash. I began scanning the acres of shredded white garbage bags and bits of paper for some sign of a deer carcass–I saw one!  And then another and another … and another!  This was deer hunting season and we counted at least twenty deer carcasses poking out from the bulging waves of trash. The bulldozer guy thought we were crazy, but he pointed to the approximate area where our town’s garbage might be located. For one hour we rummaged through the smelly trash.

I sat in stunned silence on the ride home. I couldn’t believe it. I had lost my diamond ring.

When we got home, I threw myself on my bed and sobbed.  First I was crying for the lost diamond ring, but then I started mourning every loss in my entire life.  I cried because I lost my father in a storm when I was eight years old and because I lost my sweet mother in that same accident.  My mother suffered a traumatic head injury and I grew up with an angry stranger who barely resembled the woman who had gone sailing with her husband on date night. I cried because my ex-husband had decided he hated the Church and he hated me, so he divorced me. My three little kids and I lost our beautiful home in the divorce. I also lost all my friends when we moved to Utah to attend graduate school.

I cried because I had recently quit my full-time teaching dream job in order to marry a man who worked in an isolated town where the people hated outsiders, killed deer by the dozens, and where my children were treated like pond scum.

I wept for several hours and then I finally prayed for peace and understanding. Eventually, I realized we could survive all our losses, because the Atonement of Jesus Christ has the amazing power to heal all our wounds, to restore our peace.  I just had to ask…and so I did.

A couple days later we were eating dinner and my ten-year-old son said, “Mom, look–your ring.”

I said, “That isn’t funny. You don’t make jokes about something like that.”

He pointed to the pepper grinder sitting on the dining room table, “Look, Mom — YOUR RING.” We all leaned closer to look and sitting on top of the silver knob was my wedding ring.

I no longer live in that small town, but I still lose things. Recently I lost my good health– but just like when I lost my ring, it has become a tutoring experience. I also try not to seek for happiness in landfills anymore. When I believed that I could only be happy if I was the size of a super model–that was absolute garbage. When I believed that happiness came from having the acceptance and admiration of other people– that was like looking for a diamond ring in a stinky landfill; I only found failure and tears.

I have found happiness by seeking only to please God.  Through obedience and seeking to understand His will, miracles continue to find me.  I have also found peace by searching the scriptures. The Lord promises that “ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13)  I have searched for the Lord with all my heart and I have found Him. His light and love is far brighter and more precious than any diamond ring.

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Kathryn appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Chantal

“We think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting – any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples “ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends “you have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another. The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others.” –CS Lewis, The Four Loves, p. 85

Choice friends cross our life path at unexpected times and often in ways we don’t recognize at first. Severall years ago, my dear friend-to-be, Cindy, served as the Stake Relief Society President and is a midwife by profession. We had a Stake Relief Society service project in conjunction with the Relief Society broadcast that was no different than many others I’d attended over the years. And yet, this event would end up being a significant experience in the tapestry of my life.

This particular Saturday, we had gathered donations and were assembling birthing kits to go to Mozambique, Africa. Cindy had joined a medical team to give training to traditional birth assistants in rural Mozambique. These kits included a sheet of plastic (for the mother to lie on the ground), a shoe string (to tie off the umbilical cord), a razor blade, and several disinfectant wipes. She then showed a video from her experience there. I cried for the mothers in Mozambique. How is it possible that nearly half of the almost 6 billion people of the world live today in such abject poverty?

A few months later, in my role as Primary President in my ward [local congregation], we were setting up for a Primary activity. I was expecting our 5th child and had to leave early and to go to a doctor’s appointment for a routine monthly checkup — which I felt was a waste of time.

But this checkup turned out not to be routine at all. There was no heartbeat.

Ultrasound confirmed our baby had died inside of me. After a difficult induced delivery, our baby daughter, Ann, was born four days later with a kink in the umbilical cord. We held her, dressed her and buried her in the dust of the earth.

Here I became acquainted with death, grief, and God.

I am always astounded at the depth of pain I felt for a little one I had for such a short time. This heart-searing pain came from the depth of love a mother has for her baby, given only by God. My greatest desire was to hold, love, raise and nurture this beautiful daughter.

Grief was a confusing mystery to me. The anger, the depression, the forgetfulness, the loss of time and motivation all came in waves I did not recognize or understand. Most surprising to me was also the loss of self-esteem and confidence. It doesn’t seem to be mentioned much. But all that I was, all that I knew, all that I believed was crushed into tiny pieces, mixed together and left in a pile of mess at my feet. How do I begin from there?

I won’t go into much detail on the year following except to say that after much fasting, prayer and a priesthood blessing we decided to have one more little baby. Not to replace our little girl, for no one will replace, but we felt to move on. In full confidence and faith we were delighted to learn another little daughter would join our family. Having paid my dues to death and with such astronomical medical odds of such a problem, I moved on in courage, not fear, and hope.

But again at a regular appointment in nearly identical fashion and timing, there was no heartbeat. It had never even remotely crossed my mind that this could happen again. The surprise and shock was more than I could wrap my mind around. There are no words to express the stunned crushing blow that moment held. I literally thought my own heart would stop and I would die of pain on the spot as I collapsed to the floor. It is far more horrific when you know what is ahead and I was hysterical. I learned that death twice is exponentially more painful and difficult.

I fought depression with anger. I was mad. Mad at the world, mad at people, mad that I would have four out of six children to raise here on earth. Logically, I understood everything about the plan of salvation but my heart would not match my logic. The river of emotions came despite my knowledge and faith. It was several years but felt like a lifetime. I felt 90 years old. Then I was numb. I felt nothing. I wondered if as a mother I could ever find joy after such grief or if I would have to die first. I prayed many times my other children would forget and not be too damaged from the difficulty of those years.

Here is where my friendship with Cindy changed my life….

(Please follow this link for Part 2.)

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The post First Person: Hope Arising from the Ashes of Grief, Part 1 appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“And a little child shall lead them….“