This week, we are featuring videos from the Mormon Channel’s series, His Grace.

This story brings me to tears every time I hear it. A single young woman shares of her wrestle with what to do when she discovered she was pregnant. What she found through her heartrending process was how amazing God’s love and grace are.

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I have a very dear friend named Deanne Walker that I admire so much. She is a woman full of faith and perseverance. Her husband Doug is her equal in all things. They are parents of 18 children. They have nine biological children and nine that they have adopted. The adopted children are from different countries: the US, India and China. Eight of their adopted children have special needs such as a learning disability, a drug baby, a Down syndrome, one with mild Cerebral Palsy, one with moderate  Cerebral Palsy, Amniotic Bandind, a severe heart defect, and emotional and sexual abuse. They just lost their little three year old boy, Gideon following open heart surgery for the severe heart defect. He passed away on February 13^th, 2014.

All of these children have been sealed to them in the temple for time and all Eternity. They are an eternal family.

At this time they have three married children with 3 grandchildren, one of which was born on February 19^th. One son is home from his mission and going to school at BYU. Their biological children are mixed in between their adopted children. You will find that the older children are always helping the younger children. I love to watch them during our church’s Sacrament meeting. They take up an entire long pew about 3 – 4 rows back from the front.  You hardly ever see them take a child out. They are a very reverent family. Their children are polite, kind to others, very loyal and loving with each other.

Recently, while the parents were with their little son at the hospital, I had the opportunity to care for 7 of their children. A few of them I know well. It was an amazing morning. They were completely organized and had scheduled times for their morning activities. When relating this to my friend, she herself was surprised that they had organized their day so well. They all had chores and the home was in perfect order.  The oldest ones in charge were just incredible. Two of the older children made lunch and cleaned up afterwards. What a joy it was to serve them and especially to watch them serve one another.

One might ask why anyone would want to adopt that many children and especially children with special needs. I think as you read their family blog you will see how passionately they are about caring for and adopting children. You will feel their desire to raise a large posterity unto the Lord. You will walk the path with them as they go through the adoption process in China. You will learn of their challenges when picking their children up on China. You will read of their loving care for their special needs children.

You will read about each of their precious children and the love they have for each and every one. Their faith and testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ and the Plan of Salvation is firm and steadfast.

You will read the emotional account of the last day with their sweet little son Gideon that passed away in Primary Children’s hospital after open heart surgery on February 13^th. You will read of their testimony of life after death and of this son’s purpose in passing on.  They bear a strong testimony of Eternal Families. You will be greatly blessed as you read and follow their remarkable journey in raising a family such as this.

Here is their blog profile information:

We have been married for 27 great years. We have 18 children with 9 adopted and 9 biological. We have children from the US, India and China. We have been greatly blessed to be trusted to raise our Father’s children. Each one is unique and has their own strengths. We love to be together as a family and support one another. I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in this world. It truly is “A Wonderful Life”.

Here is:  “It’s A Wonderful Life”.

Deanne wanted me to also share the following links. She States these links are mainly China centered but they address things in adoption in general, like what special needs there are and adoption stories. Three of their boys came through a program named, Love Without Boundaries. They aren’t an agency but a nonprofit organization that supports the orphans of China.

http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/
http://www.lwbcommunity.org/why-international-adoption-still-matters-2

www.nohandsbutours.com

http://www.rainbowkids.com/

– – –

LeAnn is a wife, mother to 6 children, 30 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.  She is a lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She loved the occupation of nursing but most of all being a mother and grandmother.  She presently serves in the Jordan River Temple one day a week. She enjoys writing histories and pursuing her ancestors through genealogy research. She loves to enjoy the moments of her life. She blogs at Living Waters

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The article addresses the following topics:

– Dealing with (and finding healing in the face of) grief

– Debunking spiritual myths (such as “God must not trust me with children” or “This must somehow be my fault.”)

– Turning to — not away from — each other as a couple (for example, working as a partnership to figure out how to move forward and how to make decisions, and how to focus on the marriage and on blessings in that relationship)

– Serving others as part of the healing process

– Reaching out to a support network

– Looking to the Lord

This article would also be a good read for anyone wondering how to be a support to couples struggling with infertility. The four couples interviewed shared insights and experiences that could be helpful. Another good article to consider might be “Being Sensitive to Couples without Children” and Cultivating Sensitivity to Others

The post Faith and Infertility appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Infertility, foster care, and adoption are words I never imagined would be part of my life, but want to share some of my thoughts about foster care and adoption and how I know my life is going in the direction it is supposed to be going.

We’ve struggled with infertility now for 3.5 looong years. It has been a difficult road. One of the hardest parts has been struggling to decide about adoption. It took both Dave and me awhile to get our minds even thinking in that direction. For so long it was all about trying for our own baby and trying to find out what is wrong with my body that makes me lose my babies. We spent a lot of money and a lot of time in that frame of mind. I had to “know” for sure that I had done all that I could.

We would occasionally bring up the subject of adoption but one of us was never quite there. Sometimes it was Dave who would have concerns, sometimes it was I who would feel scared. The main issue was money and debt, but there were other fears too. We prayed about it a lot and we did everything we would normally do, as far as religion goes, to get an answer from God about what is best for our family. That answer just kept eluding us. Finally in January or February of this year we had an experience that opened our hearts up completely and we both finally (at the same time) felt right about adoption. We pretty much started working on the paperwork the next day. We flew through the process and were signed up ready to get picked with LDS Family Services the next month. We were excited and we felt peace.

Shortly after that our foster license came through and CC came to our home. It was the hardest thing we have ever done in our married life together, and the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life! But it was so rewarding and I felt the Spirit in my life and in our home more. This little baby needed a lot of love and we were able to give her that and see her blossom.

We missed her when she left.

A short time later through a series of events we were in contact with another adoption agency. Our profile was shown a few times but in order for us to go forward and potentially be picked by a birth mom we needed to submit a scrapbook of our family and some serious cash. This was hard for Dave and me to feel peace about. We knew we wanted to adopt but the cash was a huge wall. Things are tight right now for a lot of people, including us. We went back and forth, we prayed, we pondered and we finally decided that our answer was to just go for it. To take a leap of faith and see what came of it. We figured the money would work out eventually. But to tell you the truth, both of us were really scared about it. We didn’t feel completely right but we were kinda stuck so decided to do it… knowing of course that we would never regret it.

So I worked on our family scrapbook and we figured out a plan to raise the cash. About a month later we had it ready to go. I got all of our paperwork and pictures into an envelope and was planning the very next day to go and get a cashier’s check to mail with the package. Late that afternoon we got a call from the county that CC was being removed from her mom and needed a home to go to again.

I said yes and I even told them we’d take her baby brother that was due to be born the next month if they needed us to. I called Dave and he was really excited. We both felt really good about it even though we knew it was going to be a lot of work again!

She is here now and I have felt huge amounts of peace and confidence that we did the right thing. We can’t go forward with the adoption agency since we have CC now (and maybe her little brother in awhile), but I have not once regretted it, and I feel a lot of relief. I know without a doubt that CC was the answer to our prayers.

When she left the first time we waited and waited for a call from the county that another baby needed our home. That call just would not come! I was frustrated. Now I know that Heavenly Father kept our home open because he knew CC was going to need it again. I love her so much. She is part of our family and everyday I am thankful as she gets more and more comfortable and more and more trusting. She is blossoming again and it is a miracle to see it everyday.

I don’t know what will come of this. I don’t know if this means we will be her family forever. I do know that nothing is a coincidence and that God is in the details of our lives. Have I said this before? It feels like I have because I am always thinking it. Everyday I see the hand of God in our family’s life and in the life of this sweet little baby. He loves each of us. He knows our needs, He knows our hearts and our heart-aches. He prepares a way for His will to be accomplished.

The best thing that has happened to me in the last 3.5 years is I have learned to trust Him completely with my life. “When God closes a door, He always opens a window” (Froline Maria, Sound of Music).

There have been a lot of windows opened in my life since the door of having a baby was closed. I can say today that I am at peace with whatever turn my life will take. If I never “bear” another baby it will be painful but I know I will be strengthened and carried through it. If CC has to leave us, it will be painful (again) but I will know it is the will of God and I know I’ll be carried through that too. It is out of my hands. I know He has a plan for CC’s life and for my life. If I am blessed to adopt her (which we are hoping for) and maybe her baby brother too, I will be thrilled and will know that this was why the window of foster care was opened in my life.

I’m thankful for answered prayers and unexpected twists and turns in the journey of my life.

Bottom line: “Come what may and love it.”

I can finally say “Thy will be done” and really, truly mean it… and it feels great!

*** Since writing this essay, Denae and Dave were happy to welcome CC’s little brother into their home as a foster child as well.  Keeping the siblings together has brought a lot of  joy into their home. You can see Dave holding the new baby in the picture above.

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~by Jenny

Last night, while tightly hugging me around my neck, my twenty-three month old spontaneously told me that she loved me – for the first time. “I love you.” Oh, how those words hold such magic. I immediately became a puddle of mommy love, Callie melting to the ground with me. I then filed this memory in that ever-growing box in my brain titled “Memories Never to be Forgotten.” I hope this box doesn’t fail me because that is surely a moment that I never want to forget. Callie’s older sister Samantha has a genetic condition and developmental delay so I may never hear “I love you” from her. That’s ok.  I know she loves me. But hearing those words from Callie was a magical moment.

When Samantha was nearly a year old we thought about having another child. Only eight months later we were blessed with Callie. We were scared at the closeness of age with a special needs child but we were also filled with pure joy. When I first saw Callie I instantly fell in love, but admittedly, the mother/daughter connection took some time. I remember holding her on the couch one day and I was overcome with a tremendous amount of love. I thought, “She is my daughter. She is mine.” It seems so simple but it held such strength and power. Memory filed in box. From that day on, I have felt a deep connection with her that continues to grow.

Being a mother of two, I have learned for myself what everyone has told me for years. Each child comes to earth with her own personality. Those mixed personalities combined with love make a family. Samantha loves to cuddle. Callie prefers being chased around. Sammy eats anything. Callie doesn’t. Their differences compliment each other. For instance, Samantha likes to be comforted, while Callie likes to do the comforting. When Sammy is sad, Callie is concerned and gives her sister hugs and kisses.

Of course, there are many similarities too. They’re social. They laugh easily. They’re determined to figure it out on their own – frequently they do.  And they both clearly love their mommy and daddy.  When Callie was born our family became more complete.

There is one more difference that may seem obvious to others, but that I frequently forget: I delivered Samantha in a hospital. Callie was delivered to me by an adoption caseworker. Surprisingly, I have had several people tell me that they could never adopt because they couldn’t love someone else’s child as if he/she was their own. But you see, that child becomes your own. There is no doubt in my mind or in Callie’s mind that I’m her mother and she is my daughter. I understand that she’ll have questions and may want to meet her birthmother. That is why we chose open adoption. But when it comes to love between a mother and her child, it doesn’t matter if the child is biological or not. Callie’s birthmother, as the mother who gave her life, will always love her. That is a mother’s love. And I, as Callie’s mother who raises her, will always love her and think of her as my own. That is a mother’s love.

November is a month of Thanksgiving. It is also National Adoption Month in the United States. For our family, this is extremely fitting that these two are celebrated together. Without birthmothers who selflessly sacrifice so their babies can have a better life, our family would be incomplete. Everyday, we give thanks for adoption. We give thanks for the laws that allow it, and for individuals who sacrifice so families can be complete. As we celebrate the season of Thanksgiving, we also consider the blessings and joys of adoption for many families around the world.

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For more Family Friday content, see here.

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I have had many times in my life when I have been made aware that God knows me and what I need and want in life. My husband and I had been married for almost two years when we realized that we were ready to open our hearts and give love to a child. The next month we found out that I was expecting. We were thrilled. Our baby boy was born the following March.

We were sure that we wanted two kids, and we wanted them close in age. So when our baby was a mere three months old, we started trying for another baby. Before long, we realized that something wasn’t right. My body wasn’t back to normal. After rounds of tests, and infertility treatments we decided to look into adoption. We didn’t jump in blindly…we fasted, and prayed, and thought, and pondered, and realized that this was the way that God wanted us to build our family. We knew that He knew that we wanted another child, and we felt a confirmation from the Holy Ghost that this was the way to add to our family.

We researched agencies. We looked into private adoptions. We were drawn to the private agency that a neighbor of ours worked with. We attended the agency’s classes and started the long process of adoption which included writing a birth-parent letter, putting together a family profile, getting background checks and having home studies done. We finally had all of our paperwork submitted on Feb. 27, 2003.

Six weeks later we got the phone call that changed our lives – a baby girl was in Tennessee awaiting an adoptive family. A few days later we were in Memphis meeting her — our new daughter. We knew that this was what God wanted, and that she had been guided into our lives. Six months later, the adoption was finalized and we were able to have her sealed to us in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple in American Fork, Utah. When she was sealed to us, it was as if she knew what was happening. She looked at the worker in the temple that was performing the sealing with an expression of impatience. She smiled at my husband as if she knew that this is what would bind us together for eternity.

We were happy with two kids. We were sure that we wouldn’t have any more babies. Not quite two years later though, we discovered that I was once again expecting. Another little boy would join our family.

People often ask us why we adopted our middle child. My answer is always that she was meant to be with us. She was meant to be our daughter and Heavenly Father made this possible for us and for her. He was aware of what we needed. Of this I am sure.

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For more Sharing Our Voices content, including First Person essays, see here.

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What Matters Most — President Thomas S. Monson counsels us about focusing on what matters most. “Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved.”

You’re Never Alone: Sister Elain S. Dalton shares an experience running a marathon where she hit a wall, prayed for help, and received insights that can apply to all of us in our lives.

The Women in Our Lives

Are We Christians?

Elder Gary Coleman talks of growing up as a devout Christian, and how his conversion to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints added to the knowledge he already had and loved about faith. He talks about what he learned about the Godhead, about the Book of Mormon as another testament of Jesus Christ, about priesthood authority.

Choose This Day

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This past Mother’s Day, one of the speakers spoke about how her children all had another mother. For example, with her first daughter, a hospital intensive care (ICU) nurse held her baby and knitted her booties to wear when the only other thing she could wear was a diaper while in the isolette.

The speaker went on to tell about her children’s other mothers. Two of her children are adopted. As such, they both have natural mothers who gave them life. One also spent time in foster care. The speaker was able to give birth after adopting, but again, her baby spent over a month in ICU with many other women who took care of her child. She spoke of all the other mothers her children have had in Primary (children’s church class), Young Women’s (teenage girl church class) and all the different influences children have in different stages of their lives. Women around us contribute to our lives, they are other mothers to us.

It was a wonderful talk for a Mother’s Day — speaking to all women. We are all mothers as we contribute to the well being of children growing up around us.

Thank you to all the women in my life. I need your love and support to be who I am, and to help my children be who they need to be. It is especially applicable this time of year as so many children, young and old, go to school and are nutured by ‘other mothers’.

Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us. -Sister Sheri Dew

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For more We Believe posts, please click here.

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I was putting dishes away today listening to the lyrics of a song that say “He knows your name, He knows who you are, each son and daughter, and every last star” and I was reminded of an experience that let me know that God knows exactly who I am, what I am doing, and what I need.

In August 2006, my husband and I were introduced to a woman who asked us to adopt and parent the twins she was carrying. We had been praying for a short wait in our adoption journey, and this was it! We knew who our babies were going to be, and they were due in just a month. We were ecstatic, excited and eager to meet the babies. We already felt connected to them – the birthmom didn’t know the sex of either baby, but we had a strong feeling that they were both boys, and that they were meant to be in our family.

We flew across the country in September to meet the birthmom, and help her in the last weeks of her pregnancy. Our first meeting was at a restaurant, and we got along with her, her daughter and her grandparents right away. Everything felt so comfortable and so right. When we took her to her doctors appointment on September 30th, we had no idea that the end of the day would end with the babies being born. The doctor had us take her straight from his office to the hospital. I sat with her for most of her labor, and we got to know each other very well. When it was time for our birthmom to be wheeled into the operating room for her C-section, I paced the halls nervously, waiting for word that everything was ok with all three of them.

Shortly, I found out that everything wasn’t just ok, it was perfect. I was called into the nursery to hold the sweet babies, both boys, just minutes after their birth. They were beautiful. The phrase “my heart was full” seems trite, but there is no other way to describe it. Late that night, my husband and I drove back to our hotel room, full of joy and thinking about names.

We visited the babies in the hospital over the next few days. On our last visit, the birthmom made sure we were coming back the next day with car seats – “you can’t make me take these babies home! They are your babies!” she reminded us.

So when we returned to the hospital that one last time, where the babies mother told us that she had changed her mind and no longer wanted to place them for adoption, we were heartbroken. Lost. Devestated. We fed them and loved them and held them and named them. And now they were gone. Not ours.

We returned to the hotel. I was a sick, sobbing mess. I was angry and hurt and sad and scared and upset. Finally I fell to my knees, next to my husband, and we prayed; begged the Lord for comfort. A few minutes after we closed our prayer I was lying alone on the hotel bed, trying to compose myself. I heard words in my head, and it took me a little while to figure out that they were the words of a hymn that the Lord was putting in my mind to comfort me.

The hymn is How Firm a Foundation (page 85) and the words were these, from verses 3 and 4:

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am they God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand

When through the deep waters I call thee to go.
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee they deepest distress

With those words I was able to pull myself together, feel some comfort and do what needed to be done.

Fast foward two years. The birthday of our not-sons fell on a Sunday that year. I had been thinking about them for the month leading up to the day, even more than I did normally. That morning, I woke up, almost hesitant to go to church because I was worried that I would fall apart crying with sadness and embarass myself. I prayed that I would have the strength to get through the day. I got myself and my children dressed, in the car, and we left for church.

I sat down just in time for church to start, and when the organ started playing the opening hymn, I lost it. It was How Firm a Foundation, the same hymn that was an answer to my prayers two years ago that day, the hymn that gave me more comfort and peace than anything as I walked through the hardest trial in my life.

Coincidence? Not a chance. God knows me. He knew what I needed when the words to that hymn were put into my mind the first time on that September day. He knew what I needed two years later – not just continued peace, but the knowledge that God knows me and what I need.

He knows you, too.

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For more First Person essays, please click here.

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We have a song that we teach our kids called “I Love to See the Temple.” It is a simple song that teaches the kids that going to temple is a good thing and it teaches them what we do there ~ we learn, we pray, we feel the spirit and we seal our families together forever.

Being a busy mom of three young children, I don’t get to attend the temple as often as I would like. Where we are, we live about forty-five minutes from a temple. On a day this spring, I took my daughter (age 6) and one son (age 3) to a couple stores in that area, so we stopped to wander the grounds of the temple.

On that cool, overcast spring morning I noticed that as soon as we stepped onto the grounds we felt peace. Serenity seemed to envelope us. Calmness filled us. We admired the flowers, the fountain, the beautiful stone and wood work, the Angel Moroni.

I was able to talk with my children about when my husband and I were married in the temple (a different one than we were visiting), and I was able to tell my daughter (who was adopted) about when she was sealed to our family forever. We were able to talk about the blessing of having an eternal family.

My daughter and I talked about how someday she may choose to be married in this temple.

I was able to tell my daughter how much the temple means to me and how much I love going when I have the chance. I was able to tell her how when I go I feel peace and how I have had my prayers answered when there.

On that day, I realized that even though I don’t always have the time to go into the temple, I can feel close to the Lord and feel the peace of the temple by going to grounds and soaking in the spirit there. Today, I encourage you to do the same. Take the kids, or go by yourself, sit on the grass and ponder anything weighing on you. Pray for an answer. Feel the peace. And enjoy your day.

For more We Believe posts, please click here.

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