I am complicated, enjoy depth far more than the benign, love to dance with words, and am far more comfortable one-on-one than in groups.

My dreams are faintly painted in colors of crimson suns. They travel to. . .well. . . just about everywhere. . .and cover a life etched in experiences shared and indulged in through both the physical and the imagined.

If it can be called an ‘art,’ I am interested. I wear somewhat comfortably the designation of ‘Jill of all trades, master of nothing’. I write some, dance some, sing some and paint some, and meander a lot. “Tennesse Williams…..I come to you slowly but with love,” is an excellent summation as well of my personality and leanings. I suppose there are more questions than there are answers, and that suits me fine, for my favorite one of all is, “Why?”

The soft places in my armour are an inability to spell, a penchant for being too serious, the brush of adventure that keeps me continually seeking what is beyond the box, and a definite lack of talent in anything that requires hand-eye coordination. Balls and I simply do not get along well.

I’m a life-coach and music teacher. Life continually surprises me, and there is little I don’t find forgivable except dishonesty. I adore my four chilren, my three (almost) grandchildren, and my husband and family beyond the words I possess to describe. I am devoted to my Savior, the gospel, and to sharing a sisterhood.

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You can read more of Marsha’s thoughts about being Mormon on her Mormon.org profile.

Interested in becoming part of the volunteer staff of Mormon Women: Who We Are? Email us at gmail, with username ‘mormonwomen’ or ‘mormonwoman’

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Marsha appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction. As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar. We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:

Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.

Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.

Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.

Delight in service and good works.

Love life and learning.

Stand for truth and righteousness.

Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.

Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny, and strive for exaltation.

The post Mormon Women in a Nutshell: The Relief Society Declaration appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

All my life I’ve wanted just a little more sleep to do the right thing. To earn God’s love. Crazy I know but there it is. I tell people I’m a recovering oldest daughter. Must do it right.

Now it’s about pleasing God and not doing it right. That new attitude is the result of what I now call my happiness program but when I started it I called it my “survive-the-day” program. My first husband had gone off to live the life of a gay artist. I was a single mother and the sole financial support of eight children with my own business, finishing up my college degree and serving as the activity chairman in our ward. I had 48 hours of things to do each day and only 20 hours to do it.

That’s when I started my “survive-the-day” program. I figured God knew what was coming in the future – when a client might decide to change the appointment I’d just spent all night preparing for or a professor would give us extra time for a project. He knew what was essential. So each day I took my very long list of things I needed to do to God and asked Him what to do. He told me. He’d have me cross things off the list and add a couple of things I hadn’t listed (i.e., call and set visiting teaching appointments.) I did that. And God took my overburdened life, got it under control, sent my second husband Parker – a generous man of Scottish ancestry (he’ll give you the shirt off his back but not the money to buy it with) into my life and gave me a completely different life than I had written out on my five year goals.

Then I stopped doing it because, hey, my life was under control. Until it got out of control again. After I married Parker, I stopped being an executive in the high tech industry, started marketing products online, was serving as Relief Society president in our branch, and still had two sons and an additional two foster sons at home. Once again God took my life and made it work. More than made it work. Taught me, changed me and gave me new understanding that changed my life. What did I learn?

While serving as Relief Society president in our small branch I came to feel His total love for His daughters some of whom were messing up royally in my opinion, but apparently not in God’s, because He always just told me to bring them comfort and cheer not advice on how to shape up. After a couple of years it finally sank in that He loved imperfect me that much too. But I still kept trying to “do it right.”

Seven years ago we sold all of our stuff, got a friend to handle the Internet business and drove off to serve missions, using the program I now thought of as God’s “tasks-for-the-day” program to plan our days. Our first senior mission was Spanish-speaking Albuquerque, New Mexico where we did not learn to speak Spanish but did learn excellent Spanglish. We started a successful irreverence program in one extremely unfriendly ward, hauled young missionaries around since we had unlimited miles for our car and they didn’t, checked apartments and taught and baptized a few dear friends – the best part.

In the middle of that mission where we were both committed to keeping all the young missionary rules and feeling overwhelmed as a result God finally said gently but firmly, “Stop trying to do it right and just do it well.” Oh.

Our second senior mission was to Alaska where, to my great relief, I was not eaten by a grizzly bear. We did eat fresh seal, lots of salmon and some caribou. Again we went to God for our tasks and ended up entering 8500 names of Inupiaq ancestors into a genealogy database. Parker also had the unique experience of baptizing a young man in the just-barely-thawed Arctic ocean.

Today we live on 38.5 acres in wild wonderful West Virginia. I wanted to be near as many grandchildren as possible and Parker wanted free natural gas. Which we have thanks to the gas well on our property. Once again I’m serving as Relief Society president in our small branch where Parker is first counselor to the branch president.

I blogged and emailed about the experiences of turning my life over to God on a day by day basis then collected the writings together into a book. Or three. But I just didn’t know what it was all about. I asked God what the theme was since it looked like just a bunch of strung together anecdotes to me.

He said it’s about learning to be happy. And that’s when I really got it. It’s what Christ meant when he said “the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.” John 8:29

It’s not a “survive-the-day” program or a “God’s-task-for-the-day” program. It’s a “how-to-be-happy-soul-deep” program. Each day I take my very long list of things I want, ought, need to do to God and ask Him what He wants me to do. He tells me. It’s often not easy to do. But I do it. All day while I’m doing it I feel His love and pleasure. And I’m happy. And I’m not even 70 yet. Must still have lots to learn

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Margaret appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Where to begin?

First I could tell you that she’s a wife of a scientist, a mother of two girls, a college graduate (statistics was her field — yes, they are smart ones in their house). She serves as the secretary of the Relief Society in her ward congregation. But I don’t have photos for all of that. So I’ll tell you that…

…She’s a whiz in the kitchen. I’m the lucky taste tester for many of her creations. Here, she is making freezer jam. YUM.

Oh, I almost forgot. When I took these jam-making pictures, she sent me this disclaimer to include:

I do not make jam because it is on the “Righteous Mommy Checklist.” I make it because store-bought jams taste “burnt.” Freezer jam to me is fresh strawberries in late January. When Michelle posts my pictures also take note of the REALITY in the background – there is a mess at my house.  I was making jam – not being June Cleaver – there were no pumps or pearls!

(I guess I don’t need to say that she has a sense of humor — and is not afraid to be human! Nor does she do things for pretense. She does things that for her make sense.)

…She’s smart (ah, yes, I already said that), organized, and resourceful. She not only has a great food storage (the story of how she got going on food storage will have to wait for another day, but it’s a faith-promoting one), but…

…She also uses it. (Again, she will often use it to bless others, like me. Here is the bread she made for us a while back for General Conference weekend, sharing their family tradition of “General Conference Bread” with us. (Her hummus is also to die for. And I’ll need to ask her if I can share her granola recipe. More YUM.)

I love how she has a vision for things and makes things happen. I wish I had a photo of her with her tool belt on…she’s very handy and can fix anything. She frequents hardware stores and other places where she can get different materials to improve her home, whether that means adding light to a room or sawing wood to create storage shelves or taking metal strips and hooks and turning them into a wall decoration.

…She paints. Also tucked away for another day are photos of more of her paintings. She likes watercolor in particular.

She quilts. She pieced this together from a pattern in her head.

This next painting represents something else she is working on right now — her family history. This painting is from a photo of her grandfather on his farm. She’s working on a book that includes information, photos, and patriarchal blessings of her ancestors. She’s doing this as a gift to her children and her extended family. I’ve really enjoyed hearing about the progress that she is making on this project.

…And she serves others. I’ve been the recipient of her kindness more times than I can count. (But I don’t have to, because she doesn’t keep score. Yet another reason I appreciate her.)

Not too long ago, while a friend of ours was dying of cancer, she helped put together a quilt, and — again creating something with mostly just a pattern in her head — made this awesome card holder so our friend could read notes from people who cared about her.

(This is Pauline with our friend who recently passed away.)

Pauline is the kind of person who does things quietly, not wanting praise or pats on the back. So I know this post is going to make her squirm a little. She only let me take these photos and post them here because she knows how important sharing about the lives of Mormon women is to me.

I hope she also knows how important she is to me. Thanks, friend, for what you do and are.

– – – – – – –

In the comments, tell us about a friend who has made a difference in your life.

And, if you know a Mormon woman you’d like to let us get to know, please let us know! We’re at gmail, username ‘mormonwoman’

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This portrait ends up being a tribute to a woman who recently passed away at the age of 92.

She crossed my path only briefly, but left an impression on me in that brief time. I took this picture, hoping to sit down and talk to her to get to know her better.

That never happened, but I wanted to share a little of what I do know about her.

She had 11 children, and was a foster parent to other children as well.

She experienced hard trials in her life, including losing a son in the Vietnam War, and being widowed — twice.

She was very service-oriented. She once talked about the many committees she was on, but I can’t remember them all. She kept a pace that would wear out the youngest and healthiest of us all!

She loved to dance, and was apparently dancing up until a couple of months before she died.

She loved her family so much. She often shared the latest happy news in the lives of her family. She had a running count on the rapid growth of her family, regularly sharing when another great-grandchild (or great-great grandchild) was born. (I wish I could remember how many she had at the last report.) You could feel the joy that her posterity brought her.

I knew her as a woman with a simple and strong faith. The more I heard her share from her life and heart, the more I realized how much her faith had been an anchor through very difficult times. And the more I admired her.

I feel honored I had the chance to know Pearl, and I offer my condolences to her family as they mourn her passing. But I imagine they are also rejoicing in a life well lived.

And I can’t help but imagine her dancing with joy at the reunions she is experiencing with loved ones who preceded her in death. I know she was looking forward to those reunions.

Rest in peace, Pearl. Thank you for your example of goodness, faith, love, and service to others.

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Pearl appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I have been a member of the Church all my life. My husband and I raised seven children and I am a contented grandmother of thirteen. I love doing many things: Family History, reading, keeping up with politics, gardening, attending and working in the temple, collecting dolls, and playing the violin.

The more I attend the temple, the more honored I feel to be able to be there. I am grateful to be a worker to help those who come as they participate in sacred ordinances and take time be in this place that for us, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is the holiest place on earth.

This Easter, I was asked to play my violin for the temple workers in the early morning prayer meeting.  I didn’t hesitate to accept, but had an extra challenge to be able to play well, because I have had fibromyalgia for about eight years, and the pain and shaking make playing very difficult.  I worried, and took my problem to the Lord in prayer, asking him to help me perform in a manner He would approve of, and to help me overcome my fibro, just for this once.

The piece I chose to play was “The Holy City.” It is an inspiring, stirring, classic piece based on a verse in Revelation where John sees The New Jerusalem.  I have always loved it. But because I would have to play at 6:30 am, it would be hard to get my hands dextrous enough to do it correctly.  Some mornings I arose early to practice, but I was half asleep as I played, and it sounded terrible.  I was really worried, but kept on practicing and praying, neglecting to make dinner and do housecleaning. I tried not to look at the things piling up around me.  I just “sawed!”  Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who picked up the slack in the kitchen and did the laundry for us.

The night before I was to perform, I hardly slept. I dozed for two hours, then got up and practiced to keep my fingers warm, the notes in tune and consistent, and my vibrato steady, then went back to bed and dozed again. I prayed as I played. At last it was 3 am and I rose for the final time,  got ready and practiced while my husband got ready.  I was frightened and shaking with nerves.  I went on my knees to ask my Heavenly Father to be with me and help me to play in a manner worthy of his holy house.

We arrived at the temple a little before six, and I felt peace and quiet there, and was able to calm down.  I changed into my white dress [we all wear white in the temple] and walked down to the chapel.  My accompanist and I had time to go over it once, and I felt comfortable and prepared. I glanced at my sisters and brothers, dressed in pure white and smiling, and felt their love and support very strongly.  The Lord’s Spirit was there.  My husband sat beside me to silently cheer me on, and when the time came to get up and play, I felt Heavenly Father soothe my nervousness and help my playing  project his love at this Easter time to my fellow temple workers.

When we finished and I sat down, my husband whispered, “Perfect!”  After the meeting, I received compliments from just about everyone, and all throughout the morning they came up to express their love.  Some said it brought tears to their eyes.

I knew that my Heavenly Father helped me to play in a “heavenly” manner in His house, and took away my physical problem for those few minutes.  I felt His spirit there with me, and will never forget that rare privilege.

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Melanie appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I know this is the true Church of our Savior Jesus Christ and that we are led by a living prophet, Thomas S. Monson.

My story:

My life challenges started at a very early age. I was eight years old when I was first molested. He was a friend of the family and I had a child’s love for him. He broke my heart and severely injured my spirit. Unable to tell my parents, my trust of people around me was shaken. I became very insecure and frightened of life. When I reached my teens, my insecurities and lack of participation in school activities became evident and a concerned counselor started drawing me out and I felt comforted by his concern. But, once again my life was jolted when he betrayed my trust. One day he offered me a ride home. I accepted his kind gesture. I soon realized he had other intentions. We took a ride into the hills near our town and the unspeakable happened. Once again I was shaken to the core and afraid to go to my parents. I had no idea how to deal with any of this and so I pushed the thoughts and feelings deep inside. I didn’t have any close friends at school and my insecurities became overwhelming.

I started going to a neighborhood church and felt some comfort but still I had no answers to why bad things were always happening to me. I was convinced that bad things only happened to bad people ant that I was being punished. I met a boy who belonged to another church and we started dating. School became increasingly harder for me to deal with. When I was sixteen and my boyfriend nineteen I convinced my parents to allow me to get married. I was then dropped out of school.

A couple of years into my marriage my husband and I started having very heated arguments. We were both so young and immature. It became an abusive relationship with my husband using physical force. After our son was born, I decided that the best thing for both me and my son was to leave this marriage. I was more fearful for my son than for myself. Once again I was left with the thought and feeling that I was a bad person.

It was very hard being a single mom at the young age of nineteen. I started having severe migraine headaches that often made it hard for me to go to work, or be a mother. I started suffering with depression as well. I had long since stopped going to church, I couldn’t see the point. My friends changed and my lifestyle became one that I am now ashamed of. And soon drugs became an escape from all my worries. At least I thought so at the time.

Even though this was a time of spiraling out of control, I did meet a man who was stable and who had healthy life goals and was willing to be a father to my son, and so, we were married and a year later we had a daughter. I still suffered with migraines and depression. I was also still painfully insecure and that was a problem for my very outgoing, enthusiastic husband.

At some point all of these physical, mental and social challenges became too overwhelming. Prescription drugs and illegal drugs became a part of my life again. I was what you would call a “functioning addict.” My marriage of seventeen years ended and I really went into a tailspin. I became so frightened of life. I was completely convinced that my life had no worth.

Mid-October 2004 I tried to end my life. I was found unconscious, barely breathing and rushed to the hospital. I was put on a respirator. My two sisters, one in California, and the other in Utah, were contacted by my former husband who is a doctor. They have since told me they thought they were coming to bury me.

After five days I regained consciousness and was taken off the respirator. My two sisters were standing by my bedside. Both my sisters have been members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since they were in their teens. One of my sisters reached over the safety bar on the bed and laid her hand on my arm and asked me if I would like a priesthood blessing. At the same time that she asked that question there was a whisper in my other ear. Jesus whispered, “Are you ready to do it my way?” I knew it was Him because of how specific those words were to me. I also knew it was Jesus because of the love, warmth and comfort that fell on me. I have never felt such love in all my life! Such pure love! I said yes to both questions. Any questions I had about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were answered in that moment.

It’s my testimony that Jesus lives and his Atonement will make everything right. Heavenly Father’s love has healed me. I do not suffer from depression, overwhelming insecurities, nor do I feel like I’m a bad person. As my faith grows and my knowledge of the gospel grows I realize that bad things happen to good people. We are here to be tested. Our lives are subjected sometimes to those who choose to use their agency in a negative manner. When those times befall us, He will comfort us.

Before I was baptized, I worried about forgiveness. I worried about whether Heavenly Father would forgive me if I couldn’t forgive those who had trespassed against me. Matthew 6:14-15, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” I talked to Elder Hansen (who was the missionary teaching me and who would be baptizing me) about my concerns and he suggested that I fast and pray. I also talked to the local Relief Society President. Sister Hunt loaned me her scriptures and showed me how to use the Topical Guide and the Bible Dictionary. I took her scriptures home, fasted, prayed and read scriptures that night and the next day. I can’t really say that I had any earth shaking revelations, but at some point, an indescribable peaceful feeling came upon me. I no longer had any ill feelings left and I was able to pray sincerely for those who had hurt me. I then felt like I could enter the baptismal waters and enter into those sacred covenants and start my journey of enduring to the end.

I know I’m not alone on this journey. I know that I can call on Heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ, to help me through any challenge and he will give me the strength to endure.

—

Editor’s note: This post originally appeared on this site on June 12, 2008.

The post When Bad Things Happen to Good People: One woman’s journey to overcome the effects of abuse and addiction appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

My name is Katy, short for Kathryn. I’ve been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints since I was baptized at the age of eight years old. My parents were raised Mormon. My grandparents were raised Mormon. Their grandparents were raised Mormon…..I could keep going back to my pioneer relatives who crossed the plains, but that’s not why I am who I am.

My parents taught me from a very early age that I needed to find out for myself who I was and what my purpose on this earth was, if there was any. I had the best mom and dad. They made sure I knew I was loved and cared for. They made sure my three brothers and two sisters felt the same. But they also wanted me to learn how to stretch my “wings” and fly on my own.

When I was a senior in high school, I hung out with a wide variety of friends. Our own little “breakfast club” if you will. We had Jehovah Witnesses, Catholics, Agnostics, and even a Pentecostal minister in our group. I looked forward to lunch period every day, because we had the best conversations…about anything and everything. We’d discuss our religions, our own personal beliefs, our fears, our hopes, our individual relationships with God….and what was so cool was that we “got” each other.

I loved to answer their questions about Joseph Smith, The Book of Mormon, how I wanted to one day be married in the temple and why it was such a sacred place to me. It was in those conversations with my friends that I realized my own testimony of the beliefs I’d been taught my entire life. I knew what I was sharing was true, was right, was real, and was what I needed in my life forever.

After high school, I continued on to college and on in my journey of self-discovery. When I was 21, I met Dave, who was also a member of the Mormon Church as I was. We fell in love and were married in the temple for time and all eternity, not just till death. That has been such a comfort for us, knowing that even after this life, we will be together forever as we keep the commandments of God and strive to be like our Savior, Jesus Christ. We’ve been married for over 10 years and have three beautiful children. My oldest, our Hannah, just turned eight and made the decision to be baptized.

I enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. I enjoy serving in my community and in my church. I love my children and feel it is my responsibility to be the best mother I can so that they can have every opportunity I had as a child to learn and to grow and to become who it is they want to be. I want them to gain a testimony of how special they are, as is every child in this world. That they are children of God, that they have a Savior who loves them and knows them and wants them to have every happiness possible.

May every person in this world one day feel those same things in their hearts as I hope my children do.

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Read more Portraits of Mormon Women. If you are a Mormon woman who wants to submit a Portrait (of you or a Mormon woman you know), email us at gmail, username ‘mormonwoman’

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(Laura on the left with good friend, Jaymie)

I am the fabulous Laura Stewart. I’m the youngest of 6 kids, and definitely unlike any of the ones before. I was raised in the same house, my parents never moved – they’re still there. I’m finding that the more I experience life, the more I realize that I had a flat out great childhood! I didn’t think so when I was in it though.

I am on my third husband. I married young, at twenty-one, and divorced two months later. I caught him doing cocaine on our kitchen table and I refused to be the woman that thinks things will change with a little love.

On to husband number two. We married in the temple, and did everything the right way. He was perfect. We loved baseball and traveled around in our bee-boppin’ Geo Metro from baseball diamond to baseball diamond. Finally, we got serious after four-and-a-half-years of marriage and had a baby boy. DJ was six months old when his father, my husband, died of cardiac arrest. DJ is now fifteen.

I’ve been married to Sam Stewart for thirteen years. I also got a two-for-one special and had twins that are now twelve years old. All boys.

I now help out in a preschool a couple of hours each day as the tech and they pay me for it! I love it. I do. When a four-year-old tells you your hair is cute, it makes your day! I’ve been doing that for ten years.

For fun, I volunteer somewhere. I spend time with my kids anxiously engaged in a good cause. It’s not the season for me to worry about what I think is fun, maybe that’ll come later, maybe not right now!

I have been the Young Women’s president, the Relief Society president and held various other callings. I LOVE nursery but love Stake Young Women Camp even more. That week away from the world is just good for the soul. It’s also absolutely and completely exhausting. I mean completely. But, it’s good.

One thing I love about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that it has taught me to recognize the tender mercies of the Lord. And when my mind is where it needs to be, I see them all over. When I lost my husband so suddenly, I had it good: I had people right there when I needed them; I had a supportive family. Not everyone has that.

I had my testimony strengthened when I had people close to me judging me and my ability to handle my husband’s passing at a young age, and to feel the Lord gently remind me that He loves me regardless, which has stayed with me forever. To feel my love deepen with Sam when our marriage hit a real rough spot due to my insensitivity, and having to fight for it does something to cement your eternal views and what it’s all about. This relationship goes on for eternity.

I love being a Mormon woman because that title alone brings great responsibilities and joys, and I welcome both. I still don’t understand when righteous Mormon women feel like they don’t measure up. Measure up to what? To who? That whole perfection thing? Nah, for me, it’s as simple as this: What season are you in? And what do you want out of it?

—

For more Portraits of Mormon Women, please click here.

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Hi—I am Valerie.  I am thirty-two and am married with four children, ages 10, 5, 3 and 7 months.  I love photography, crafts, blogging, teaching, cooking, spending time with family, hiking, playing basketball and discovering new places.

I would like to share an experience I had that tells me that God answers prayers.  I had just graduated with my Associates degree in Elementary Education.  I was accepted to Brigham Young University but had not scored high enough on the PPST, therefore, I wasn’t accepted into the teaching program.  I was not a good test taker, but was a hard worker.  I had a 3.8 GPA.  The worse part was that one point separated me from everything falling into place.  BYU had just raised the test score requirements.  If I had been able to apply for the program months earlier, everything would have worked out just fine.

But here I was, stuck . . .

I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked that he would help me know what to do.  I was confused and distraught.  I didn’t know where else I would go.  I wrote a letter of appeal to the Dean of Education at Brigham Young University in hopes something would come of it.  In the meantime, I had an impression to return to the two-year school that I had just graduated in.  “Why would I want to do that?”  It would be kind of embarrassing to return, but I felt a strong urge to do so.

I returned and took the classes as if I were going to Brigham Young University.  I decided to not worry about my situation and exercise my faith and put my trust in the Lord.  I also decided that I wasn’t going to stress about school and grades and that I was going to just have fun and enjoy life.  It turned out to be the best semester of my life and on top of it, I ended up with a 4.0 that semester.  I also heard back from Brigham Young University that they had accepted my appeal and that I would be able to start next semester.

Everything worked out and I got my degree in 4 years, despite the minor setback.

I have always been grateful for the power of prayer, for a loving Heavenly Father who is mindful of our needs and hears and answers our prayers.  Sometimes it’s not in a way that we understand at that moment, but in a way that works out in the end.

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