This week we will celebrate the 170th anniversary of the Relief Society, the organization for women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We’ll be posting (and re-posting) some posts on the topic of Relief Society. This post was originally published in 2008.

-by Michelle

I recall one of those days several years ago when I went visiting teaching. I must confess that I was not excited to go. I was tired. I didn’t feel good. I hadn’t had much downtime with my children because we have had lots of craziness (errands, doctor’s appointments, car troubles, dad out of town). More than anything, I just wanted to be cozy and comfortable at home. “Visiting teaching is never convenient,” I found myself thinking. (Truth be told, service is often not convenient.)

I printed out the lesson and mused over the title: “Blessings of Belonging to Relief Society.” I found myself wondering about why the lessons in this particular year (2006) had focused on Relief Society.

I felt the Spirit teaching and touching me during the next hour and a half, in spite of the bad start to my service. I was able to repent of my attitude and receive a clear answer to my question.

Both of our sisters had forgotten we were coming. (That happens to me almost every time my visiting teachers come!) One sister was up to her eyeballs in a big project. Even still, both sisters graciously invited us in. (Note to self: Opening my heart and my home to my visiting teachers makes it possible for the Spirit to visit, too!)

We did the usual chatting–about life, about our holiday plans (this was at Christmastime), about recent travels, about family. The conversation quickly turned to gospel discussion, and the Spirit filled our hearts with that peace that “passeth all understanding.”

The Spirit also granted understanding. It became so clear, especially during our second visit, why the lessons focused on Relief Society: to help us understand the vision and purpose of Relief Society. Since there might be some people out there wondering about what Relief Society is all about, I wanted to include some highlights of the visiting teaching messages from this particular year (usually there is a focus or theme that is woven throughout the monthly messages in a given year). 

President Joseph F. Smith (1838–1918): “This organization is divinely made, divinely authorized, divinely instituted, divinely ordained of God to minister for the salvation of the souls of women and of men. … Make [Relief Society] first, make it foremost, make it the highest, the best and the deepest of any organization in existence in the world. You are called by the voice of the Prophet of God to do it, to be uppermost, to be the greatest and the best, the purest and the most devoted to the right” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith [1998], 184).

Bonnie D. Parkin, Relief Society general president: “We have been given an organization to build our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, to feel his love, and to extend that love to all. The Relief Society is that organization” (“Transforming Transitions,” in The Rock of Our Redeemer: Talks from the 2002 BYU Women’s Conference [2003], 45).

Eliza R. Snow (1804–87), former Relief Society general president: “What is the object of the Female Relief Society? I would reply—to do good—to bring into requisition every capacity we possess for doing good, not only in relieving the poor but in saving souls. United effort will accomplish incalculably more than can be accomplished by the most effective individual energies” (“Female Relief Society,” Deseret Evening News, Apr. 18, 1868, 2).

Reading these quotes helped me feel more deeply why Relief Society exists. We care about service, we care about lifting the downtrodden — and we care about faith, spiritual growth, and helping others work toward salvation.

How Can You Enjoy the Blessings of Belonging to Relief Society?
Anne C. Pingree, second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency: “When the sisters of Relief Society look ‘with an eye single to the glory of God’ (D&C 4:5), they can experience rich spiritual insights and share deep spiritual strength together. … Connections forged among covenant women in Relief Society can indeed enlighten, enliven, and enrich the journey of life because we can help each other learn how to put the Lord first in our hearts and in our lives” (“Walking towards the Light of His Love,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 112–13).

2 Nephi 25:26: “We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, … that [we and] our children may know to what source [we] may look for a remission of [our] sins.”

President Gordon B. Hinckley: “Who can gauge the miraculous effects upon the lives of millions of women whose knowledge has been increased, whose vision has been extended, whose lives have been broadened, and whose understanding of the things of God has been enriched by reason of countless lessons effectively taught and learned in meetings of the Relief Society?” (“Ambitious to Do Good,” Ensign, Mar. 1992, 4).

President James E. Faust, Second Counselor in the First Presidency: “The Relief Society curriculum is focused on basic doctrine and will give you the opportunity to study the gospel and increase your spirituality. … All sisters … need to be ‘remembered and nourished by the good word of God’ [Moro. 6:4]. Doctrine will strengthen you and help you to develop the spirituality necessary to overcome the challenges of life” (“You Are All Heaven Sent,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2002, 111).

Anne C. Pingree, second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency: “Each of us … can move forward without fear, finding our way to Him as we personally feel the blessings of His infinite Atonement. I know that one of the supernal blessings of Relief Society is our connection to women who also bear testimony of our Lord. My prayer is that we will ever walk side by side towards the light of His redeeming love” (“Walking towards the Light of His Love,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 113).

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985): “Intelligence, light and knowledge … are part of the promise given to the sisters by the Prophet Joseph Smith. … Relief Society sisters see the fulfillment of that promise daily as they teach children at home, in Sunday School, and in Primary, in Relief Societies, in sacrament meetings, and in daily conversation. … We encourage all our sisters to take advantage of their opportunities to receive light and knowledge in school, in personal study, and in Relief Society” (“Relief Society—Its Promise and Potential,” Ensign, Mar. 1976, 4).

I really liked what Sister Pingree said about having our eye single to God. Relief Society is more than casseroles and crafts; it is an organization designed to help us gain “rich spiritual insights and share deep spiritual strength together.” The purpose of activities and service opportunities are opportunities to bring us together as sisters, to increase love and faith.

I am grateful that the Spirit helped me catch that vision yesterday as I was visiting teaching. I felt spiritually nourished and strengthened. In the end, these are the potential fruits of visiting teaching…but how easily I forget! I’m grateful that we have this opportunity to visit sisters every month, and I find that my life is blessed when I do my visiting teaching. It’s a simple program with wonderful purpose and potential. And there are countless ways that Relief Society has blessed my life.

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By Amanda D

I am a Mormon wife and mother and this is a typical day in my life:

I have three school-aged children so my day starts before the sun rises at this time of year. I get up at 6:15 and start getting kids up and ready for school. I try to serve them a hot breakfast on school days. Some days this is well received and other days they wish they were having cold cereal. Most mornings it seems like I have to prod my daughter to take each bite.

After breakfast, I pester the kids until their teeth are brushed, their faces are washed, their backpacks are ready and their shoes are on. Then they are off to the bus and I take a little while to check my email and read a few blogs. I also try to clean up the breakfast mess.

Next up, my kindergartener wants me to play with him. Lately, we play Legos or cars or we read stories and sometimes we watch TV together. I try to get a workout in a few times a week so my son goes to the gym with me and plays in the daycare. Afterwards, I rush home for a quick shower and then we eat lunch together. After lunch, I get him ready for school and we walk to his bus stop together.

Once he is on his way, I get a few hours to myself. I try to not waste this time, but I admit that I sometimes take a nap or watch a movie. I do laundry, vacuum, and do dishes during this time. I also spend some time writing or scrapbooking or surfing the ‘net. I prepare for this week’s Cub Scout den meeting, and I plan what we are going to have for dinner. I also run errands during this time – the library, the bank, grocery shopping, etc.

Before long, the kids are home from school and we have a snack. Sometimes they rush off to play with friends, or they want turns on the computer. Sometimes we jump right into homework and sometimes we watch TV together. Some days I feel like I have spent the whole afternoon refereeing one fight after another.

At our house, it is a priority for us to eat dinner together so every night, when my husband is done working, we gather around the table for a family prayer and a meal. After dinner, we finish homework, run the kid’s through the tub, go to soccer practice, read books, and sometimes play cards. Once the kids are in bed, my husband and I watch TV together or read. Sometimes we play board games, but that’s not often enough.
I always end the day with reading.

Each week, I try to include a night of Family Home Evening. We don’t always get to it though. We try to end each day with a prayer, but some nights we forget. And that’s okay. We just keep trying to do better.

This is my life as a stay-at-home mother. It’s different from other women, but similar in ways too. Some women work outside the house, some don’t. Some women have several children and some have none. I think that my life is a lot like the lives of my neighbors, meaning that I don’t think my daily life is much different because I am a Mormon woman. We’re all doing the best we can, looking forward with hope and trying our hardest.

The post A Day in My Mormon Life appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I recently participated in a relay marathon in Corpus Christi Texas.  I ran one leg of six, each approximately  4.5-miles — not a big deal but still a healthy run. I had trained well so I was going strong, yet on occasion my mind would rudely blurt out “ahh, this is too hard… you should walk… just a bit…just take a little break….” As this silent inner monologue continued, it became increasing irritating and discouraging SO I decided I would run faster every time I felt my mind or body going weak, to prove I was in charge. The old adage “mind over matter” never seemed more apropos.  It was a great experience, even spiritual, mainly for what I was able to teach myself about self-discipline and mastery. Elder James E. Faust said “Self-mastery … is the ultimate test of our character.” Yes it was a test physically but more so mentally.

In addition to the lessons on self-mastery, I learned another valuable lesson. I gained a simple appreciation for what runners call the “runners high,” the moments of euphoria that come after enduring and succeeding in doing a very hard thing. Those feelings are great but not nearly as rewarding as choosing the right and persevering through tough trials, that is powerful, beautiful and compelling. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to DO is increased.”

Not long ago I was reading in the Book of Mormon (Alma 39) where Alma the elder was speaking to his sons, giving them some last fatherly counsel before his death. In his counsel to Corianton he says “cross yourself in all these things.” “Cross” to me also means self-mastery. When I read those words my eyes paused on the page as I digested and contemplated it’s application into all facets of my life and before long I found myself cascading through different scriptures familiarizing myself with what the scriptures had to teach me about self-mastery.  Alma in this instance was referring to self-mastery in avoiding sexual sin; however, self-mastery is not exclusionary to sexual fidelity, it applies to everything we do.

Self-mastery is also temperance. In 2 Peter 1:6-10 it reads “And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness. And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off….if ye do these things, ye shall never fall.” So, one of many things the scriptures have taught me is that self- mastery is temperance (self-restraint; abstinence) and patience (capacity, willingness to endure) and godliness (holiness). If  I can do those things, it is promised  I shall never fall. With the Lords help I will have the confidence to wax strong in all things. (See Mosiah 18:26)

Life is challenging at times (ok, all the time), that is part of the plan, that is why we are here, to push through the hard things and gain understanding and knowledge.  There are unyielding and unlimited ideas and desires pulling at our strings, beckoning for our immediate attention — and do not forget the adversary’s convincing and determined desire to distract us from what is most important. How can I possibly have confidence to effectively teach my children the values of self-mastery if I myself have a cursory and casual understanding of the principle? As an example, how will I effectively teach my children the importance of preserving a healthy body if I repeatedly and easily yield to the temptation of that extra warm cookie or piece of cake?

Power beyond my own is what I seek to push back the world and conquer the hard things life incessantly presents as a mother and wife.  Life just does not permit us to quit, so enduring needs some help, and self-discipline is the perfect medicine. Elder Hales of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles said “We learn to endure to the end by learning to finish our current responsibilities, and we simply continue doing it all of our lives. We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now.” As a parent, I can clearly see the need for my children to learn with exactness the value of self-discipline while they are young, and the need for that will certainly increase in days to come. Unfortunately life’s “hard things” will not always be as simple as resisting (self-mastery), seconds on dessert or sustaining a 4- mile run. Life will indubitably dish out some very difficult challenges and we will have to be able to master the little things in life so we will be able to handle the big, hard, things when then come because we know they will. That is the crux of this beautiful refining process called life.

Our family motto ” you can do hard things” could easily be reprinted in poster size and placed prominently in our home, especially as my children mature and distractions increase. In an increasingly godless and amoral society where anything goes and appetites are pacified instantaneously, where immediate indulgence is the norm, what better time to teach our children and ourselves the value of self-mastery and patience. Never yielding to the appetites of the body whether that be food, rest, apathy, the influence of others or an infinite number of other deterrents from truth.

President David O. McKay once said: “Spirituality is the consciousness of victory over self, and of communion with the Infinite. Spirituality impels one to conquer difficulties and acquire more and more strength. To feel one’s faculties unfolding and truth expanding the soul is one of life’s sublimest experiences.” Gospel Ideals (1953), 390.

I know like the sun shines high in the sky, that our loving Heavenly Father is ever mindful of how difficult our lives can feel at times. I know that He loves and supports us through our hard times, that if we are diligent with the small things the Lord will bless us with all we need to endure the big things of life. He is our supporter and through His Son, gave us our perfect example of how to do “hard things.”

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I know this is the true Church of our Savior Jesus Christ and that we are led by a living prophet, Thomas S. Monson.

My story:

My life challenges started at a very early age. I was eight years old when I was first molested. He was a friend of the family and I had a child’s love for him. He broke my heart and severely injured my spirit. Unable to tell my parents, my trust of people around me was shaken. I became very insecure and frightened of life. When I reached my teens, my insecurities and lack of participation in school activities became evident and a concerned counselor started drawing me out and I felt comforted by his concern. But, once again my life was jolted when he betrayed my trust. One day he offered me a ride home. I accepted his kind gesture. I soon realized he had other intentions. We took a ride into the hills near our town and the unspeakable happened. Once again I was shaken to the core and afraid to go to my parents. I had no idea how to deal with any of this and so I pushed the thoughts and feelings deep inside. I didn’t have any close friends at school and my insecurities became overwhelming.

I started going to a neighborhood church and felt some comfort but still I had no answers to why bad things were always happening to me. I was convinced that bad things only happened to bad people ant that I was being punished. I met a boy who belonged to another church and we started dating. School became increasingly harder for me to deal with. When I was sixteen and my boyfriend nineteen I convinced my parents to allow me to get married. I was then dropped out of school.

A couple of years into my marriage my husband and I started having very heated arguments. We were both so young and immature. It became an abusive relationship with my husband using physical force. After our son was born, I decided that the best thing for both me and my son was to leave this marriage. I was more fearful for my son than for myself. Once again I was left with the thought and feeling that I was a bad person.

It was very hard being a single mom at the young age of nineteen. I started having severe migraine headaches that often made it hard for me to go to work, or be a mother. I started suffering with depression as well. I had long since stopped going to church, I couldn’t see the point. My friends changed and my lifestyle became one that I am now ashamed of. And soon drugs became an escape from all my worries. At least I thought so at the time.

Even though this was a time of spiraling out of control, I did meet a man who was stable and who had healthy life goals and was willing to be a father to my son, and so, we were married and a year later we had a daughter. I still suffered with migraines and depression. I was also still painfully insecure and that was a problem for my very outgoing, enthusiastic husband.

At some point all of these physical, mental and social challenges became too overwhelming. Prescription drugs and illegal drugs became a part of my life again. I was what you would call a “functioning addict.” My marriage of seventeen years ended and I really went into a tailspin. I became so frightened of life. I was completely convinced that my life had no worth.

Mid-October 2004 I tried to end my life. I was found unconscious, barely breathing and rushed to the hospital. I was put on a respirator. My two sisters, one in California, and the other in Utah, were contacted by my former husband who is a doctor. They have since told me they thought they were coming to bury me.

After five days I regained consciousness and was taken off the respirator. My two sisters were standing by my bedside. Both my sisters have been members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since they were in their teens. One of my sisters reached over the safety bar on the bed and laid her hand on my arm and asked me if I would like a priesthood blessing. At the same time that she asked that question there was a whisper in my other ear. Jesus whispered, “Are you ready to do it my way?” I knew it was Him because of how specific those words were to me. I also knew it was Jesus because of the love, warmth and comfort that fell on me. I have never felt such love in all my life! Such pure love! I said yes to both questions. Any questions I had about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were answered in that moment.

It’s my testimony that Jesus lives and his Atonement will make everything right. Heavenly Father’s love has healed me. I do not suffer from depression, overwhelming insecurities, nor do I feel like I’m a bad person. As my faith grows and my knowledge of the gospel grows I realize that bad things happen to good people. We are here to be tested. Our lives are subjected sometimes to those who choose to use their agency in a negative manner. When those times befall us, He will comfort us.

Before I was baptized, I worried about forgiveness. I worried about whether Heavenly Father would forgive me if I couldn’t forgive those who had trespassed against me. Matthew 6:14-15, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” I talked to Elder Hansen (who was the missionary teaching me and who would be baptizing me) about my concerns and he suggested that I fast and pray. I also talked to the local Relief Society President. Sister Hunt loaned me her scriptures and showed me how to use the Topical Guide and the Bible Dictionary. I took her scriptures home, fasted, prayed and read scriptures that night and the next day. I can’t really say that I had any earth shaking revelations, but at some point, an indescribable peaceful feeling came upon me. I no longer had any ill feelings left and I was able to pray sincerely for those who had hurt me. I then felt like I could enter the baptismal waters and enter into those sacred covenants and start my journey of enduring to the end.

I know I’m not alone on this journey. I know that I can call on Heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ, to help me through any challenge and he will give me the strength to endure.

—

Editor’s note: This post originally appeared on this site on June 12, 2008.

The post When Bad Things Happen to Good People: One woman’s journey to overcome the effects of abuse and addiction appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Heather L.

As I was standing by my fence watching my son go by on his bike, a knothole caught my eye.

All I could see through it was a bit of dirt. Not very exciting.

I turned my camera and took a shot from the bottom of it – a little chunk of beautiful blue sky. [Unfortunately, the picture doesn’t do the sky justice, but you get the idea.]

I often feel like all I understand of life is the little muddy chunk.

How many times I’ve wished I could see more! Like the owner’s manual on my kids?! Or how long a particular problem was going to last? The end result of a cautious choice? How often I’ve wished I could see the beautiful blue end from the muddy beginning.

But life isn’t made to be that way.

God sent me here to learn to live by faith, obedience, diligence, patience, all of which I’d never learn if I knew the answers ahead of time.

Hard as it may be, not being able to see more helps me grow in faith, humility, strength, and gratitude. Ultimately I am more blessed as I become more willing to submit my will to God’s “big picture” view.

After all, He built the fence. He puts in the knotholes. He knows the end from the beginning. He wants me to succeed, and will provide a way.

All I need to do is go forward with faith, like Nephi of old:

“I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Nephi 3:7)

So maybe I can’t see the whole big picture right now.

But I can ask for help, listen to the Holy Ghost, and move forward with faith that God will “prepare a way.” He will put “holes” where I need them. I just need to look for them with hope, rather than focusing on the dirt. Then the light will shine through and brighten my journey through mud and meadow on the way to the beautiful blue end.

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I’m living an unexpected life. But aren’t we all?

My eight-year-old declaration of my life’s work was: I am going to be a mother. My second grade teacher didn’t like that; she kept insisting that I needed to pick a “profession.” I was adamant. I would be a mother, and that was final. Everything I have done from that day forward pointed to that eventual goal. Important decisions all centered around how to best prepare myself to be the kind of mother I knew I was meant to be.

My 13-year-old heart was drawn into the world, with the images of famine in Ethiopia and personal participation in a Church-wide fast for famine relief. I knew one day I’d go to that country to help. My mother heart (see Julie Beck, Ensign or Liahona, May 2004) reached out in compassion as it was being prepared to fulfill my life’s work. My unexpected life’s work.

Years have passed. I’ve obtained various academic degrees. I’ve worked many jobs. I’ve served in many capacities and I’ve seen some of the world and the children of the world. I’ve never married.

I have unexpectedly never expected a child.

There have been minutes, days, months…years of heartache and anguish of this unfulfilled dream. Wondering what I failed to plan that “kept me” from realizing my dream. Wondering if I should have said “yes” to some of the men who’ve crossed my path. Wondering if my expecting was somehow wrong.

But there have also been moments of clarity.

Moments of certainty.

I am living the life I am meant to live.

This IS my perfect life.

AND I am a mother.

A mother of thousands, really.

My decision to teach seminary [youth scripture class for ages 14-18] opened my heart to this reality. It struck me, once again, the other day when I received a picture text of a one hour old baby… the newborn daughter of one of my former students. I must have done something for him to remember ME and want me to know about this child entering the world.

Or the text I received just this morning from a former student entering the missionary training center: “Thanks for your patience, love and support. I love you! Jesus is the Christ and has restored His gospel once more! God be with you ‘til we meet again!” I never expected that.

A year and a half ago I took the trip of a lifetime, traveling to the Holy Land, seeking holiness. I wanted to change. Imagine my surprise when the thought came powerfully to my mind and heart: You need to work on a PhD. So I did. I came home and was enrolled in courses two months later. I’m in my second year now.

A little over a year ago I met two women who reminded me of my desire to work with the children and families of Ethiopia. I begged them to take me. They needed someone to do research for their organization. It was serendipity. A miracle, really. Unexpected.

I’ve traveled to Ethiopia. Every day includes something to help the children and families I met and will meet. The children of Ethiopia have won my heart. I pray for them, I think of them, I love them. They NEED a mother. (Did you know there are over four million orphaned children in Ethiopia? Over 12% of all children? )

I was studying the Abrahamic Covenant the other day. Oh how I love Father Abraham! I have always thought of the promise of multiplying in the context of bearing children. (See, for example, Genesis 22:17-18, Genesis 32:12.) I’ve expected that multiplication would perhaps only be later for me. In the next life.

Not anymore.

During this early morning scripture study, I felt that sweet whispering: “I’m multiplying YOU so you have a greater capacity to love them.” Multiplying unexpectedly.

I suppose I needed a will alignment. I know that as I’m learning to want what HE wants me to want, my course is smoother, straighter, satisfying. Who knew that my children would come in such painless ways? Who knew that they’d be so vast in ages, experiences, needs — and even live on different continents?

Who knew?

He knew.

He knows.

And so do I.

Oh, how I love mothering.

Just as I expected I would.

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(Laura on the left with good friend, Jaymie)

I am the fabulous Laura Stewart. I’m the youngest of 6 kids, and definitely unlike any of the ones before. I was raised in the same house, my parents never moved – they’re still there. I’m finding that the more I experience life, the more I realize that I had a flat out great childhood! I didn’t think so when I was in it though.

I am on my third husband. I married young, at twenty-one, and divorced two months later. I caught him doing cocaine on our kitchen table and I refused to be the woman that thinks things will change with a little love.

On to husband number two. We married in the temple, and did everything the right way. He was perfect. We loved baseball and traveled around in our bee-boppin’ Geo Metro from baseball diamond to baseball diamond. Finally, we got serious after four-and-a-half-years of marriage and had a baby boy. DJ was six months old when his father, my husband, died of cardiac arrest. DJ is now fifteen.

I’ve been married to Sam Stewart for thirteen years. I also got a two-for-one special and had twins that are now twelve years old. All boys.

I now help out in a preschool a couple of hours each day as the tech and they pay me for it! I love it. I do. When a four-year-old tells you your hair is cute, it makes your day! I’ve been doing that for ten years.

For fun, I volunteer somewhere. I spend time with my kids anxiously engaged in a good cause. It’s not the season for me to worry about what I think is fun, maybe that’ll come later, maybe not right now!

I have been the Young Women’s president, the Relief Society president and held various other callings. I LOVE nursery but love Stake Young Women Camp even more. That week away from the world is just good for the soul. It’s also absolutely and completely exhausting. I mean completely. But, it’s good.

One thing I love about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that it has taught me to recognize the tender mercies of the Lord. And when my mind is where it needs to be, I see them all over. When I lost my husband so suddenly, I had it good: I had people right there when I needed them; I had a supportive family. Not everyone has that.

I had my testimony strengthened when I had people close to me judging me and my ability to handle my husband’s passing at a young age, and to feel the Lord gently remind me that He loves me regardless, which has stayed with me forever. To feel my love deepen with Sam when our marriage hit a real rough spot due to my insensitivity, and having to fight for it does something to cement your eternal views and what it’s all about. This relationship goes on for eternity.

I love being a Mormon woman because that title alone brings great responsibilities and joys, and I welcome both. I still don’t understand when righteous Mormon women feel like they don’t measure up. Measure up to what? To who? That whole perfection thing? Nah, for me, it’s as simple as this: What season are you in? And what do you want out of it?

—

For more Portraits of Mormon Women, please click here.

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When I was pregnant with my daughter I told everyone that I hoped I was having a boy. Looking into the future I didn’t think I could handle being the mother of a teenage daughter – all those hormones, boys, and friend issues – a minefield for a parent. I knew how I was as a teenager, and I did not want to deal with that!

Now that I’m in the middle of it, it is not the horror I feared. It’s probably because my daughter isn’t just ‘some teenager,’ she’s my daughter. The baby who somehow survived my first feeble attempts at buckling her into a carseat. The little girl who rode her first bike with slippers on because it was softer to pedal that way. The girl who moved across the country right before 6th grade and never got mad at her parents for it, despite the difficulty. And now she is the teenager who gets up at 5 am every school day to attend seminary (religious education).

Yes, teenagers do have hormones, we all do. She probably understands me best on my bad days because she’s had a few inexplicable bad moments herself. Boys really aren’t much of an issue just yet, for now she thinks most of them act like her 7-year-old brother. When that day does come I will be nervous, but I’ll also be happy for her, remembering the excitement of my first date. I can’t think of a person better equipped to help her deal with friend issues than someone who has had (and continues to have) friend issues herself.

My daughter and I were out in public once when an older person went out of their way to walk far around her. She looked at me quizzically.
“Some people are afraid of teenagers,” I said.

“Oh, yeah, we’re so scary.”

I should tell her I used to be scared too.

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I played on a soccer team, named Spirit, for seven years. Some of my fondest memories of learning true work ethic took place on that team. I have a special bond with the members of Spirit, and with all of their families. So many members of our team are believers in Christ, and though we were from many different denominations, we learned to work hard together — always making our focus on becoming united.

Howie, our coach, was a very inspirational part of my life. He has shown true belief in all of us, taking interest in our lives on and off the field. He pushed us to be better, faster, stronger, but never in a degrading way. He knew our potential and built us to that point. I always knew he loved us more than anything.

Since he’s developed Lou Gehrig’s disease [amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS] he’s continued to teach me. His faith and positive attitude is beyond anything that I’ve seen. He is not bitter, just believing, and has expressed his thanks to God for the life he has and the guidance He’s given him through all the years.

One of Howie’s favorite scriptures is the following: Psalm 16:8– I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. (New Living Translation)

I wrote this song to honor Howie and the faith we have in our Savior, Jesus Christ.

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Have you ever paused to think about what a miracle it is? Not only to exist, but to exist so well? To be a person who chooses, every day after day after day, to live and be? To love and laugh, to hurt and weep, to struggle and to soar, to remember and be remembered, to fear and ache and yearn. And then, the very next day, to do it all over again?

What a miracle that is.

Every day is a big bundle of uncertainty. We don’t know. We never know. We can plan. We can guess and speculate about what the hours ahead might hold. But we never know. Tomorrow lies ahead of us full of potential. The potential for pain is always, always there. And we know that. We’ve tasted it before. We’ve been there in that moment when the potential morphs into the pain. We’ve felt the actuality of that so many times that it seems to be a foregone conclusion. We know there will be a tomorrow with pain in it. It is one of life’s inevitabilities. We cannot choose to exist without accepting that. And yet we choose.

What a miracle that is.

We know that joy is one of Tomorrow’s potentials. We have tasted that too. Not as often, perhaps. And sometimes our very humanity seems to fight against that acknowledgment. We are too familiar with pain. It is, at times, easier to believe in. We seek joy though. Sometimes in wrong ways that take us down wrong paths to the wrong sorts of tomorrows. Sometimes though, we get it exactly right. And in those moments we teach ourselves to chase after the next tomorrow. We teach ourselves why it is that we live and strive and struggle and suffer. We learn why it is we choose to live each day. We learn what it is to be a miracle.

Joy outweighs the pain. Every time. Every single hoped for tomorrow with its burgeoning potential unfolding before us is worth the uncertainty because of the sweetness of those moments of joy. Those moments when we glimpse what we have the potential to become. Those moments when we recognize the miracle that we and our very existence are.

When we know that we are all miracles, and that there is so much more ahead of us than a mere Tomorrow.

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