Daddy is in his recliner rocking back and forth, trying to get his lil’ man to sleep while feeding him a bottle, but falls asleep himself.  I usually have to wake him up to take Cole from his arms so I can put him down for naps in the crib.

Dave works so hard for our family during the week, I figure he deserves a nice long nap on the “Day of Rest.”

I love him….

Hannah has insisted for the past few months that she is too old for afternoon naps like her younger other and sister, so she has “quiet time.”  It consists of her doing various activities that can invite the Spirit and help her remember why this day is so special.  She loves to color, draw, write….anything artistic.  She works on accomplishing her goals in the Faith in God book. And if her sister is persistent enough with her pleadings, Hannah will read to her.  Hannah is a great storyteller. She brings the words in any book to life when she reads to her brother and sister.

I swear, I put Josie to bed for naps one minute, and the next I’m hearing her whisper to Hannah from her top bunk of their bunk beds, “Hannah will you read a story to me?”  And Hannah tells her to come down onto her bed and they snuggle up to each other under Hannah’s blanket and the reading begins.  I love to sneak peeks into their room after a half hour or so because what I find is there faces about 3 inches from each other, fast asleep.  My angels….my sweet, beautiful daughters.

Cole loves to play with Hannah and Josie’s plush toys…I often put one in his crib with him when he is sleeping.  As he has gotten older, he’s started to reach for things.  His smiles are still toothless, but beautiful.  He brings a whole new light to our family.  And we feel so sacredly blessed to be his parents.

The post A Typical Sunday Afternoon appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

We recently received this question from Susy:

I have an 18 year old Catholic friend traveling as an exchange student from Mexico to Arizona next August.  She will be living with a Mormon family and I would like to know what she should expect during the school year.  It must be a very different culture:  home discipline rules, religious rules, etc.  Does this religion allow kids to go out with school friends, use a computer, attend school activities out of town, of course all these with respect…?  I really hope she can have a great experience and learn different things and language.

~Answer by Heidi

As a Mormon woman who has had both family and friends, also Mormon, act as host families in the foreign exchange program, I am happy to have the opportunity to answer this question for you, Susy.  First of all, let me assure you that any Mormon family prepared to welcome a foreign exchange student into their home will have a strong desire to:  expose her to rich cultural experiences, keep her safe from harm, provide her with what she needs to do well in school, treat her with warmth and love and do all they can to help her learn English.

At the same time, Mormon families, like most others who attend the Catholic church and other houses of worship, would have a problem with guests in their home who do not respect their rules, especially when it comes to issues such as smoking or drinking in the house, foul language, drug use, sexual activity, coming home in the wee hours of the morning, extreme immodesty in dress, or viewing inappropriate content on the computer. However, it is my understanding that most of these behaviors are not in harmony with the foreign exchange program and one would not expect to welcome a student into their home who did not, as you say, treat their host family with respectful behavior.

I feel that your question can allow us to clarify some of what Mormons believe and practice.  For example, Mormons most definitely use computers and I would expect that a host family would be prepared to allow a student living in their home to have access to one.  However, your friend could very well encounter a situation wherein the computer has filters and/or other protective software to prevent the viewing of inappropriate content.  Based on what you have said about your friend, I don’t expect this to be a problem.

Our religion does indeed allow their teenagers to go out with friends, to attend school activities (sometimes out of town), to dance, to attend movies, plays and concerts, etc.  Of course, as with any other family, personal preferences will come into play.  What one family sees as okay, another might not feel is a good fit for their children.  However, for the most part (as there are exceptions in every situation) I would imagine that in this situation, a Mormon family would likely not expect the exact same behaviors from their guest as they do of their own children (though they will encourage their guest to follow the rules as outlined in the foreign exchange program).

Obviously, I do not know the family with whom your friend will be staying and therefore can’t know specifically what they are like, but I feel I can say with confidence that your friend’s host family members will go out of their way to insure that she has a very positive experience.  In the end, I think that she will find she has more in common with them than not.

Thank you so much for giving Mormon Women to opportunity to address your concerns with regards to this issue.

Editor’s note: To learn more about Mormon family life, see this post:

What are some of the family traditions and rules of the Mormon religion?

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women: Who We Are, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

Have a question you would like to ask? Send an email to us at gmail, with username ‘mormonwoman’

The post Ask A Mormon Woman: What Can A Foreign Exchange Student Expect To Experience When Hosted By A Mormon Family? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Jenna Consolo

Treats are the easy part of Family Home Evening, this tradition that has us gather our families around us every Monday night for a gospel lesson, an activity or game, some songs, a prayer, and then, for many families, refreshments.

I am an ardent believer in Family Home Evening. I have tried to faithfully hold it every Monday night, and the kids look forward to it.

Me? I do not, always. It’s like exercise. Sometimes you hate doing it, but you’re always glad you did it once it’s over.

I remember Family Home Evenings in my family growing up. Like a circus they were, with nine children for my parents to entertain, uplift, and educate, while keeping a modicum of control. The cycle continues in my own family now, circus and all, no matter my pleas (or threats) to the contrary. But I will persist because I believe in the promises made by a prophet to those who will obey. And, I think it really does make our family happier. Eventually, anyway.

With a recent Family Home Evening, the treat was easy to decide on. I knew I didn’t want something too sweet because of all the Halloween candy that had been consumed over the previous several days, so Lion House Banana Bread went into the oven early in the morning. But the lesson?

As the kids have gotten older, I have felt more pressed to make every lesson count. The weeks that the teens have left in our home are numbered and the pressures they face outside of our home are increasing. I want to pack a punch with our family time. I think long and hard each week. I search idea websites and the oodles of manuals and resources that I have here at home. And sometimes, at a loss, I pray. This was yesterday.

I told God about my concerns for my family, the things weighing on my heart for each of my children. I asked Him what He would have me teach. And very clearly, yet softly, came the answer.

Service.

I stayed on my knees for a time, thinking. Yes, service. To one another. There is too much contention. Too much mean-spirited humor. Too little kindness. How can we have the Spirit in our home if we’re not even nice to each other? How can testimonies grow in mean little hearts?

I went back to some websites and found just a few scriptures. The classics.

“When ye are in the service of your fellowmen, ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17)

“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.” (Mark 8:35)

I found a great quote by Elder Robert J. Whetton that said, “Every unselfish act of kindness and service increases your spirituality. God would use you to bless others. Your continued spiritual growth and eternal progress are very much wrapped up in your relationships—in how you treat others.”

Yes, yes, this is the perfect lesson for us. Teens who are struggling with their own spirituality–who find it difficult to be sober and reverent–need to be reminded that their growth is connected to the way that they treat people.

I decided to have the kids play “The Biggest Loser,” a Family Home Evening idea I found on the internet that plays off of a weight loss reality television show. But in this game, points are given for “losing yourself” in the service of others.

I knew it was the right lesson. Still, evenings are chaotic. Homework is strewn about. I’m teaching piano until 6pm, and then dinner (which was, thankfully, cooking in the crock pot) had to be assembled, served, and eaten. The Teenage Girl gets home from work after 7pm, and then the battle begins with the toddler, who every week wants so badly to be a part of “Family Evening,” but who is the main source of disruption and frustration. One chance, I tell him. Again.

We sing a song, “Have I Done Any Good.” Teenage boy rolls his eyes and moves his lips, but without producing a sound. The toddler jumps from the couch where he is sternly directed to sit without moving, and begins to dance wildly around the room. Teenage girl is feeling homework pressure. I can see it in her face, but she never complains. Now the toddler is jumping on the teenage boy who is laying on his stomach on the living room floor. I get up from the piano, and put him back on the couch. Keep smiling. Talk sweetly.

A prayer. (Hasn’t worked yet.)

A few announcements and then we stop again because the toddler is now kicking the boy on the couch with both feet, and with all his might. I pick him up and carry him, crying and begging, up to his bed. As I come back down the stairs, having been gone for, maybe 15 seconds, the boy on the couch is now crying and holding his stomach. Apparently in that 15 seconds, the teenage boy has “played too rough” and has punched him and knocked the wind out of him.

Seriously?

So, then sweetness goes out the window. I am sick and tired of teenage boy thinking that his bad attitude can control this family. He has his hand out way too often to be given that kind of power, and I won’t stand for it. So, now he has his head down. Way down. But I don’t think he is ashamed, as much as he is ticked off and cursing me in his mind. Fine, let him.

I sit down. I want to cry. I want to run from the room and curl up in my bed. Throw it all out the window. The tension is thick. I wonder in my mind, “What is the point? We should just do this another night.”

But no. We are supposed to have this lesson, darn it.

I take a deep breath, and I look at their faces. I start to cry, but only a little. I tell them how much I love them, and how important this is, and how just that afternoon I had been on my knees asking Heavenly Father what I should teach them, and I just knew this is what He wanted. They each read a scripture. I read the quote to them, and told them that if we are unhappy with how we are feeling spiritually, then we need to examine the way that we are treating one another (myself included, of course). I told them that Heavenly Father wanted us to play a game this week, and were they willing?

Yes. I told them the game. I even told them that if they thought I wasn’t being serious, that they should ask Heavenly Father themselves and receive their own confirmation that this is what our family should be doing this week. I bore my testimony to them. The Spirit in the room changed. Even teenage boy looked up through his hair at me.

I gave them each a baggie with 50 pennies in it. I told them that for each act of service they did for a member of our family, they could put a penny inside the jar. But no mention of the acts of service can be made. The person who gets rid of the most pennies, who loses himself in the service of others most frequently throughout the week, is the “Biggest Loser” and will win a prize.

Immediately after closing song, prayer, and refreshments, I went to Teenage Boy and put my arm around him as he sat at the table. I apologized to him and told him, with a kiss on the cheek, how much I love him. Then I went upstairs to wash my face. Teenage boy came and met me in the bathroom. Towering above me as he does now, he put his arm around me and said, “I love you, Mom.” What a moment! And then? He started looking around for acts of service. He saw the flashlight next to my bed and replaced the batteries for me. He hung out in my room after the others had gone to bed, and told me about his friends, and school.

This morning there are already several pennies in the jar. Scripture study went much more smoothly this morning. We talked about the steps that Nephi followed to receive his own personal revelation. The kids were helping each other, passing out red pencils, and opening up Book of Mormons.

Family Home Evening works. It won’t work once. It won’t work now and then. But consistently, patiently, over the weeks and months and years, it will work.

The post Family Fridays: Family Home Evening appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Life gets so crazy sometimes that the goals we set as families can fall by the wayside. But one goal our family has been able to hold onto is eating dinner together. It doesn’t happen every night, but most nights it does.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t perfect. We have our share of unruly family dinners. Recently there was a night where Mom and Dad kept reminding the kids not to argue, only to end the meal with an argument themselves! We have more laughter than tears mixed in with our food, though.

Sometimes we turn music on after a blessing on the food, but usually there is no background noise, with the television off as well. It gives us a chance to talk about what happened to each family member during the day or about the world at large. I wouldn’t call our meals quiet; it’s finely orchestrated chaos. We have four children, and my husband and I take turns sitting by the two-year-old because it is a time-consuming and messy chore. It can be hard to make sure everyone is heard, but usually we do manage to listen to everyone.

We use paper plates a lot in our house because I struggle with my health, which limits how much I can accomplish. It isn’t pretty or necessarily friendly to the environment but it’s what we have to do right now to get along. For the same reason, we sometimes have take-out food, but guess what? You can eat take-out around the dinner table! Just because you aren’t a world-class chef doesn’t mean you can’t sit together to eat and talk.

The kids do their part to help too–setting the table, clearing it, filling the water pitcher, stiring the soup, etc. While the they might complain, we still do make them help. It is part of being a family – accomplishing something by working together.

Our family dinners are touchstones. We all meet together, really, only once a day. Oh, we’re crossing paths and in the same house throughout the day. But truly conversing together and thinking about the same things happens only at dinner. While we’re already gathered together around the dinner table we take a few minutes for what some would call a religious devotional. We call it scripture reading, where we will read and talk about the gospel, if everyone is congenial.

Our blessing on the food also happens to be our family prayer, where we pray for things in addition to the food (e.g., an extended family member who is sick, an area of the world with a natural disaster). We try to simplify our religious practices because we have small children, while still including religious principles we feel are important.

Eating dinner with my family is something I enjoy. Our food and our families are both great blessings from God; how fitting it is that we can enjoy and give thanks for them together.

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For more Family Friday content, see here.

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My name is Rebecca. I am 38 years old and have been married for 13 years to my husband Steve. We have three children (ages 11, 9, and 6) and live in Arizona. My hobbies are reading, writing, drawing, and blogging. I went to Brigham Young University (BYU) and have both a BA and a MA in communications from there. I served a mission from 1991-1993 (England London South). I work part-time from home as a marketing research analyst. I have also started writing books.

One of those books is about family scripture study. My interest in the topic grew from feeling dissatisfied with the way my kids reacted and behaved during our family study time. I could tell by their actions and eyes they were not interested, but I really wanted them to be. So I started experimenting with different techniques to hold their attention and get them excited about scripture study time. The result was a book I wrote/illustrated called Adventures with the Word of God. When I have kids asking me when it is time for family scripture study then I know it is successful. I have followed up my first book with another called Home Evening Adventures with the Word of God [“Home Evening” refers to a weekly family night that most Mormons hold on Mondays, where we discuss gospel principles, have fun activities, eat together, and just enjoy each others’ company as a family]. And I am currently working on a third book about temples.

I am grateful for the gospel, and grateful to know that God is there and answers prayers. This past January my kids and I traveled to Denver to visit my younger brother and his family. While there, my brother’s family dog, Daisy, escaped the house and took off. Daisy had a bad track record doing this and then getting herself so lost she was unable to return home on her own. My brother and sister-in-law would have to comb the neighborhood for an hour or two on foot to find her. So the fact she escaped was bad news. An hour or so later they found her, but she escaped again shortly thereafter, sending stress levels up very high. To make a long story short, the kids (my own and my niece and nephews) and I knelt in prayer to ask that Daisy could be found. Shortly thereafter my brother walked in the front door carrying Daisy. I felt strongly this was an answer to prayer.

Being a Mormon Woman means expanded horizons to me. I feel my faith in Christ and His gospel/leaders has provided me with answers to some life questions in a way that helped me to make the best decisions possible. I followed counsel to get an education, which has tremendously blessed my life. I served a mission to London and had incredible opportunities there and continued blessings since. Getting married and having children has brought a rainbow of experiences that I would never give up. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had not followed His counsel and made these good choices–I don’t think it would be as full. My horizons are broader and greater than they ever would have been otherwise. And I am excited to see what life brings me in the future as I choose to follow Him.

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Rebecca appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

Family vacations can fall under “wholesome recreational activities.” Does your family go on vacations (holidays)? If so, what are some of your family vacation traditions? Does your family visit the same place on a regular basis, or do you vary your location?

If you don’t go somewhere away from home (sometimes called a “staycation”), what kinds of “recreational activities” does your family enjoy together?

How do vacations and recreational activities bring your family closer together?

You can read responses from Mormon women below in the comments section.

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*If you would like, please send us photos and stories of your family vacations. This can include great memories and funny or spiritual experiences. Please email them to us at ‘mormonwoman’ AT ‘gmail’ DOT ‘com’.

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For articles at lds.org about family traditions and family fun, see the following:

Having Fun as a Family

More Smiles Per Gallon: Ten Ways to Make Family Vacations More Fun

See “Finances and Family Fun” in this Random Sampler for one family’s creative idea for an alternative plan for a family vacation when they were on a limited budget

The Power of Laughter

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