Many thanks to Pauline Colton for sharing this beautiful watercolor painting with us. Below, she shares some of her thoughts about the painting, and a few of the many scriptures that came to mind as she was working on this piece. We first shared this in 2009 but the image was not accessible. We figured it was a great opportunity to re-share. Please note the image is copyrighted, and shared with permission. More information below.

Alma 37:6 “Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.”

The greatest of all the gifts of God is His Son. Christ willingly and lovingly makes the blessings, the healing and the power of the atonement available to each of us. Only by small and simple means can I be in a position to partake of the atonement.

As I worked on the drawing and design of this piece, I had many scriptures come to mind. By taking note of each scripture as I recalled it, I ended up with six pages of scriptures. I categorized the scriptures by elements in the painting. Here, I include only one reference for each category:

1. Being partakers – Alma 5:62

2. Fruit – 1 Nephi 8:10-12

3. Tree – Revelation 2:7

4. Oil – D&C 33:16-17

5. Support for the lamp – Isaiah 41:10

6. Drop by drop – Deut 32:2

7. Light of the World – John 8:12

8. Light of Christ given to man – D&C 84:45-46

9. Clay lamp – Isaiah 64:8

10. Being invited – Revelation 3:20

<font=size=”1″>Copyright Pauline Colton. Picture may be reproduced and used for for personal, non-profit use.</font=size=”1″>

The post “Be Partakers” – a watercolor painting about oil in our lamps, the light of Christ, the tree of life, and more appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Michelle

When COVID-19 first started, my youngest was finishing up high school. As schools and everything closed down, I think most of us expected (or at least hoped) that the situation would pass fairly quickly.

I definitely didn’t imagine my daughter not being able to return to school for the rest of her senior year. I definitely didn’t expect to have online church as the only option for as long as we did. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we saw missionaries having to work for months completely from their apartments, using only technology to engage with people. Many missionaries had to leave their missionary service altogether, or were reassigned to different locations in their home countries. I never imagined that my missionary son would have to come home early because of a pandemic. I never imagined sending off another missionary into a pandemic.

While we’ve seen a return to schools and church and more “normal” life, to a degree, now the Omicron variant has made us have to make shifts again. Medical systems are strained. Medical workers are exhausted and staffing shortages are an issue (because some have quit the profession for how difficult this has been, and because many are sick). Many schools are needing to make significant adjustments (including going online in some cases) because of the number of teachers and students who are sick. At least where I live, testing capacity is now far beyond demand, and treatments for COVID are in short supply and/or don’t work with this variant. In my local area (a cluster of 9 congregations), we just went back to online church because too many people are sick and our leaders hope to slow the spread in our community.

And, as throughout the pandemic, emotions continue to run high as different opinions about it all are expressed and explored and debated.

At the beginning of the pandemic, a quiet voice whispered to my spirit, “There is more going on here than COVID.” In my own personal experiences, although COVID has been so difficult for so many reasons, this has been true.

In the larger picture of things, this has also been true. There has been a great deal of loss, to be sure, and there have also been compensatory blessings. I’ll share a simple example that I learned about this weekend.

When COVID started, an instructor in the religious education system of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints decided to put his lessons on YouTube for his students. (I was familiar with his channel, but didn’t know the history.) He never could have imagined that “six months later we hit our one millionth view, as people around the world are eagerly pursuing an unshaken faith in God by immersing themselves in His word.” (https://unshaken.podbean.com/) On YouTube, his video series, Unshaken, has almost 59,000 subscribers, and the podcast version of Unshaken has over 1.9 million downloads. Where in the classroom, students get to spend about 24 hours or so in a given semester exploring God’s word together, with these videos, people who have listened, Jared Halverson says, have spent a cumulative total of five solid days — or five semesters’ worth — of time immersed in the scriptures — all because of a pandemic and the upsides of living in a digital age. (When technology is used for good, such good can happen! #UseTech4Good)

Another example is RootsTech (which is coming up again soon). Last year, RootsTech went virtual-only for the first time. RootsTech is the largest genealogy/family history conference in the world. When they first announced the all-online version of RootsTech, they projected 40-50K people would sign up. Soon, they realized their projections were significantly off. In the end, over 1.1 million people participated in the 2021 RootsTech conference! And leaders of the conference realized, through the constraints COVID presented, that they could make materials available all year around and thus serve more people than ever before. (See https://www.deseret.com/faith/2021/3/3/22307976/what-drew-more-than-1-1-million-to-attend-rootstech-connect-2021-family-history-genealogy for more on RootsTech 2021, or RootsTech Connect)

COVID has been a difficult challenge, to be sure, but stories like this are legion. I don’t share any of this to minimize the horrible things that have happened, including millions of lives lost, numberless jobs lost or impacted, long-term health impacts from the disease for too many, mental and emotional challenges experiences or exacerbated by the stress and increased isolation many have suffered…and the list can go on.

And, as has already been mentioned, there is so much of division and contention around the politicization of the pandemic, and that has put wedges in families and cities and nations and religious communities and beyond.

This week, after wrestling (again) with some weariness from it all, I was reminded of a scripture that means a lot to me. For a little background, I’m struck by the statement from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints about encouraging precautions such as vaccines and masks. Before they mention precautions, however, I’m intrigued that they call this time a time of war. “We find ourselves fighting a war against the ravages of COVID-19 and its variants, an unrelenting pandemic.” Wartime situations call for different measures than what we are used to as normal.

As I think about this, I think: The war is not supposed to be against each other, but against the disease. Still, the length of this war has brought frustration, weariness, even hopelessness. “Does the journey seem long?” a hymn asks. I think most of us would say, “Yes! This pandemic just feels like it’s dragging on forever. I want it to be over!” “I’m so done with COVID!” I’ve heard many exclaim. Experts and prophets alike predict it will eventually move into an endemic phase. But we aren’t there yet. It’s not over yet. And, I remind myself, I need to not forget that for too many in the world, war is just part of their normal. (There it goes again….my heart can feel heavy even at the thought.)

So what can be done to keep from being buried in frustration or weariness…or even apathy or enmity toward others in times of war?

I love this scripture from Alma 62:41 in the Book of Mormon.

“But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war…many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.”

When the journey seems long, when whatever wars we may be fighting — be they collective (such as this one against a global pandemic or other physical or philosophical wars that plague our world), or personal battles — turning to God for help can help us not lose hope (or help us find it again). He can help us heal from the impact of hard things. In His way and time, He can show us how He can make beauty from ashes (see Isaiah 61:3), and turn all things to our good (see Romans 8:28 or Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-9). What if, in the end, no matter what the specifics of the war, the invitation is to let it all turn our hearts more toward God?

President Russell M. Nelson has said (a message that was repeated by many during the last General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ) [emphasis added]:

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives

and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

We are encouraged to have that focus be on the Savior, Jesus Christ.

Elder Russell M. Ballard recently said, ““The pandemic will [eventually] wear itself out, but don’t let it wear you out.”

I’m recommitting this week to seek God’s help so that my heart can stay soft as COVID and other wars continue to have such an impact on our world. I know I can’t do it without His help, but I have felt Him reminding me that He is there, wanting to send strength in time of need. [There are many Bible and other verses that explore seeking God’s strength in hard times. I just included a link I found on an internet search. See what other verses you can find in your own searches online or in your paper copies of scriptures.]

How do you recenter or seek for God’s strength in times of difficulty?

The post “Does the journey Seem long?” God can help with COVID-19 pandemic burnout appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Some people who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints share some of their thoughts in response to this question.

This video from Latter-day Saints in Canada includes several people’s thoughts, including youth and children.

What brings you peace? Missionaries in Australia share some of their thoughts and invite people to do the same.

“Before I decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I had faith, but it wasn’t very strong. My life was not as happy. I had happy moments, but didn’t have that lasting peace that faith in Jesus Christ brings. I remember the day that I decided I was going to start growing that faith.I was going through a rough time in my life, and wanted a change. I started by praying every day. It was difficult at first, remembering to pray in the morning, but I found that as I continued to pray my faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ, was strengthened. I then wanted more so I started reading the scriptures, both the Bible and the Book of Mormon….I am [a] different person than I was five years ago, and I would never go back to who I was. I know that it’s all because of my faith in Jesus Christ.” Sister C

Krista shares how a reminder about trusting in God when struggling when family members have made hurtful decisions has allowed her to show more love to her family, and brings her peace regardless of the choices others make. “Putting trust in God, that’s having faith….I’m so thankful to know about Jesus Christ, about God. I’m so thankful for my faith, because that’s what makes life beautiful.” [Krista’s thoughts start at about 2:30 in the video]

A family from Canada shares this: “The gospel [of Jesus Christ] has brought direction and guidance to our family during these difficult times. The song, “there is peace in Christ” is one that our children really enjoy singing. The gospel and our Savior have brought peace to our family. In our everyday, we often face little challenges and family prayer has helped us spiritually and brought peace into our home. We are especially grateful for the plan of salvation which allows all families to be together forever.”

Other young missionaries share experiences that have strengthened their faith here.

A family from Australia shares this: “When the world is full of discontent and strife. I am grateful for my little family, and our home where the cares of the world disappear and we can enjoy our times together. We find peace reading from the holy scriptures each day and and discussing our eternal natures. We especially love watching the Tv series, The Chosen together. The life of Jesus is brought to life with his teachings and miracles put into real life scenarios. One of the greatest teachings that gives us peace and hope for the future is knowing that we can live together eternally. The Son of God conquered death and offers eternal life to his true disciples. If I can teach my children anything I hope they can learn that they have a Father in heaven who they can rely on. And that by following the Lord Jesus Christ and his teachings they can find true joy in living this life and eternal life in the world to come.”

The post How has faith in Jesus Christ helped you? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Whitney

I am only a few days away from starting my service as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It does not seem possible that something I have waited for all my life is finally within reach. Knowing what is ahead is daunting, but my feelings of inadequacy and nervousness subside when I think about the lessons God has taught me this past year and especially this past semester to prepare me for “that which will be my finest hour” (to quote Winston Churchill found in Elaine S. Dalton’s talk: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/come-let-us-go-up…)

Here are some of the lessons I have learned these past couple of months.

1. “Own it.” These words came after pleading to Heavenly Father to help me out of the whirlpool of negative thoughts about myself. These two words changed everything for me. Now, I am choosing to own my body, my thoughts, my personality, my family, my weakness, etc. Through this, I can repent and find satisfaction in my life because I am honest and grateful.

2. Be deliberate in bettering the relationships you care about. This is probably a “no duh” for most, but I needed to remember it. I need to remember it for my mission for both those at home and those I work beside.

3. Ask questions. They change everything. Because of a simple question, I’ve been able to spend my time between school and a mission with two of my favorite families. Because of a simple question, I get to do my MTC at an unimaginably perfect place. Because of simple questions, I have gained some of the sweetest relationships with strangers on planes and in the classroom. If you don’t believe me, just look at what a question did for Joseph Smith.

4. “Trust it, even though you don’t feel it.” Another powerhouse phrase that the Spirit inspired me with when I was consumed in anxiety. In my life right now, I know that the mission is the right next step. So even when it feels daunting or crippling, I can trust what I know rather than what I feel in the moment.

5. “Whitney, it’s true.” These were the words my coach said to me after receiving my temple endowment. I’ll never forget how I felt when he said those simple words to me.

6. Like any parent, Heavenly Father does not respond to everything His children ask for. This sounds harsh, but just picture what a day would be like if a toddler got their way the whole day. It simply would not be good. It is the same for Heavenly Father. I do not know if He always responds. But for me, that does not matter because I know He always listens.

7. “Cheerfully do all things that lie in your power; and then… stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (Doctrine and Covenants 123:17). Just show up (as my mom puts it). God is aware and will work a marvelous work for us.

8. Heavenly Father wants to help us know we are on the right path. And when we know what we are doing is right, it is exhilarating.

9. When I know it and I know that God knows it, that is enough.

10. I #HearHim through the words “that is what I can do.” I know Christ wants us to press forward. Therefore His words of correction and inspiration motivate and excite us. This principle was emphasized in my Portuguese study: He gives us power through revelation (power in Portuguese = poder) and with that, we can do what He asks us to do (poder as a verb = to be able to).

I love truth. I love my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father. I love this Gospel. I love what is coming in a week. It is all so good.

The post Poder: Power to be able to… appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Michelle

The Book of Mormon is another book of ancient scripture, a companion to the Bible. We have the stories of God’s dealings with ancient peoples in the Old World in the Bible, and we have more about His dealings with scattered peoples from the house of Israel who were led to the Americas in the Book of Mormon.

The book begins with the story of Lehi and Sariah and their family. Lehi was a prophet in Jerusalem around 600 B.C. (around the time of Jeremiah), and people were plotting his death because he was preaching about the destruction that was coming (destruction that we know actually happened, historically speaking, after Nebuchadnezzar invaded Judah and destroyed the city and the temple ca. 589-587 B.C.)

But the people in Jerusalem weren’t the only people plotting Lehi’s death. Two of his own sons, Laman and Lemuel, who reluctantly followed their parents out of Jerusalem, did not believe in Lehi’s prophecies, and constantly wished for their life back in Jerusalem (even though Lehi had seen, once they left, that the city had indeed been destroyed).

Nephi, who writes the record of his family’s experiences, was the younger brother. He received his own answers and confirmations of the truth of what Lehi was teaching and doing, and so he tried to help his brothers see and understand. But repeatedly, they rejected what they both saw and heard (including angels).

Nephi says this to his brothers at one point:

 Ye are ^aswift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. Ye have seen an ^bangel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were ^cpast feeling, that ye could not feel his words; wherefore, he has spoken unto you like unto the voice of thunder, which did cause the earth to shake as if it were to divide asunder. (1 Nephi 17:45)

It’s pretty easy for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to roll their eyes a bit at Laman and Lemuel, but I think there something for each of us in their story. Even though this family actually existed and this is a story of their lives, as is often the case with scripture, there is also archetype in the story.

As humans and spirit children of heavenly parents, we all have a divine spark in us that wants to follow light and truth (like Nephi wanted to). As struggling mortals, we also all have a part of us that wants comfort, ease, control, or other not-so-good things as a way to get through the hard stuff of life.

As I recently contemplated the above verse, I realized that the archetype can also capture elements of our mortal experience that may not always be about willful rebellion but could relate to struggles that are just part of what it means to be human, to be fallen creatures in a fallen world.

Take anxiety and depression, for example. A friend of mine named Wendi recently shared in a podcast about her struggle with bipolar disorder. She says,

There’s a spiritual dynamic of depression that people don’t always know about. It’s almost as if there’s like a force field around you where it’s very hard to feel answers to prayer. It’s very hard to feel the Spirit, it’s very hard to feel anything light, or good, or spiritual. That’s the most tragic part, I think, of depression is that the thing that can help most is sometimes the thing you can feel least.

Consider the pain of grief as another example. Words can’t really capture the examples I’ve encountered, particularly of friends who have lost children, but grief…grief can put one in a place where feeling God just isn’t possible for a time, and sometimes for a long time. A body and brain in trauma sometimes just have to do what they have to do to process the trauma in very temporal, sometimes tedious ways before the light of God’s peace can break through again.

I’ve also watched hundreds of women experience betrayal trauma (work here led me to create a separate space for such women, as their cries for help via internet searches stretched far beyond the confines of what this website was created to be). As I have walked with women suffering from intense, PTSD-like symptoms, they, too, often will start that journey of healing first in a place where they cannot feel God. They wonder where He could be in such agony. Sometimes they experience anger toward God. “Why would He have guided me to marry this person knowing that I would be betrayed?”

In other words, channeling the language of the scripture above, sometimes one can struggle with mental or emotional or relational wounds or illness, or other life struggles, that can inhibit one’s ability to feel God and His words and His truth.

I recently read a book [The Power of Stillness: Mindful Living for Latter-day Saints**] that talked about how even just the pure overload of life stresses can leave one feeling past feeling — enough so that some may even doubt that their faith or experiences with God were ever even real at all.

Compounding the struggle for some can be a sense of self-doubt on top of it all which can look something like this: “What am I doing wrong? I must be doing something wrong because I can’t feel the Spirit. I can’t feel God’s love.” Or perhaps worse is the guilt of being angry at God in the process of experiencing grief, pain, or traumatic injuries (physical or emotional).

Perhaps you have walked your own Via Dolorosa that looks different from the above examples, but that has similar effects of leaving you feeling numb. Past feeling.

I have tasted some of that walled-off-from-heaven feeling many times in my half century of life. I have struggled with anxiety and dysthymia (persistent but low-level depression) for most of my life, and have also had a couple of pretty major depressive phases that left me feeling a bit like I was walking through a tub of tar.

During one of these difficult times, I told a bishop (leader of our local congregation) that I felt like I was living behind a glass wall. I could see things that were real and true in some sense. But I struggled to feel God’s love for such stretches that I felt like I was living in another space, separate from what I believed and knew to be true. It’s like it all felt true for others, but I couldn’t get past the glass to feel it again myself. I’ve also felt that proverbial “my prayers aren’t getting past the ceiling” feeling more times than I can count.

As I’ve gotten older and had more experiences with the ups and downs of my struggles with mental illness and other challenges — and even just with the ebbs and flows of life — I am more able to walk through these times knowing that the feeling may not always be there in the moment, but I can still find ways to find God.

I started this site years ago because I have such a firm belief in God’s love, and His love for women. He knows me, He knows you. He knows the number of hairs on our head (or those we people may have lost). He knows the number of tears we have shed. He knows of the sparrow’s song and its fall. He knows the prayers we speak and those we cannot utter (see Romans 8:26).

But when I cannot feel these truths, I look for tender mercies — because I can see them. They are tangible, even when I can’t feel God in any given moment or period of time.

I’m grateful for David A. Bednar who first helped me understand that I can treat such “coincidences” as real evidence of God’s awareness of me. He repeated three times in his talk that it is often the timing of things that can help us identify something as a tender mercy. When it just seems too coincidental, or when the universe seems to be lining things up in a perceivable way (some call this sychronicity), that can be a tender mercy of God at work.

Take bluebirds as a simple example. The string of stories is too much to share here, but suffice it to say that bluebirds are one way that God says, “I am here.” The painting at the top of this post was given to me by my daughter to remind me of this simple way God shows up for me. Tender mercies can include running into someone at just the right time, having patterns and themes of ideas or principles cross my path repeatedly in a short period of time, reading a scripture or having someone say something that was exactly what I needed to hear at that time. Tender mercies are like God telling me, as Elder Tai said as he shared his own tender mercy memory in April 2020: ““I am here, and I know where you are. Just do your best, for I will take care of the rest.”

The more I look for and pray for eyes to see tender mercies (and record them, wherever possible), the more I have stored up for the wilderness times when I my feelings are clouded with anxiety, fear, self-doubt, or other emotions. Of course, I continually try to use tools I have learned to foster good mental health, but my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health improve when I am seeking to practice gratitude and to look for and acknowledge tender mercies in my life. I’m often so delighted — even shocked — by what I see that I sometimes call tender mercies delightful surprises!

What helps you hold onto faith during hard times when it may be to feel God’s love?

**I received nothing for mentioning this book. I’m sharing because it was a helpful book for me to read. 🙂

The post When I can’t “feel His words” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

One of the things I appreciate about being a part of this effort is to read the words of my fellow brothers and sisters. Their perspectives and experience enrich my experience engaging the words of the prophets. Of course, we don’t want our posts to replace the words of the prophets, but we hope perhaps this project will inspire you in some way, as it has us.
The other posts from this week’s reading, which focused on the Friday Afternoon Session of the April 1973 General Conference, are at the bottom of the post. (I’ve also included links to last week’s posts, because, again, I’m batting about 500 right now in getting posts written.)

– – – –

Image credit: The copyright on this image is owned by Jonathan Billinger and is licensed for reuse under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 license.

I love the doctrine of agency. I used to stress a lot about it, because I was (am) a (recovering) perfectionist who believed that the goal of mortality was to never make mistakes. Oh, how I misunderstood the doctrine! I was trying to save myself! What need is there for a Savior if I can save myself?

That’s not to say that I’m here justifying making mistakes or sinning. That’s not it at all. It’s just that I’ve come to not fear the process of engaging my own imperfect, mortal, fallen messiness in the process of trying to live in obedience to God’s commandments.

I also have come to understand that two of the greatest hindrances to faith are shame and fear. I’ve heard it said that shame lives in the past and fear lives in the future. The only place we can exercise agency as mortals, however, is in the present.

Even Eastern philosophies, psychology, and other fields recognize the power of being present, being mindful, being deliberate. What these philosophies don’t have is the understanding of the Atonement — which is what buys us time and space — a probationary period — and makes it possible for us to surrender and learn from the past (learn from it but don’t live in it, paraphrasing Elder Holland).

One of the principles of healthy living that I have learned is “just do the next right thing.” This is one way I remind myself to stay in the present — to not look back at mistakes in shame or to look ahead to the future in fear. All God asks is for me to exercise agency in the now. The Atonement can cover the past as I learn from it, and God has the future of my life in His hands. [My] days are known and [my] years will not be numbered less.” I can follow His plan for me when I plug into doing whatever the right next thing is. The Spirit can help me know through the flow of my day what the next right thing is, if I will keep myself open to God’s guidance and will, and, as the scriptures say, not to the “will of the flesh.”

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit;

And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.

This principle was so beautifully taught in the talk by John H. Vandenberg entitled “The Agency of Man.”

[A]ll individuals are confronted with decisions to make every day, and whatever the choice, it is commensurate with the persuasion of the heart.

These persuasions of the heart are related to two opposing forces constantly at work within every human being. They are the forces of good and evil, which the Master referred to as God and mammon. Coupled with these forces is the individual’s power to reason, which only man, of all God’s creations, possesses. This enables him to make choices.

I like how Elder Vandenberg talks about how reason is part of the process. When we talk about following the Spirit, it’s a choice that we make, consciously, with our minds, to follow God and our best knowledge of what the next right thing will be.

One of the things that used to trip me up about all of this was the fear that maybe I would misread the Spirit and make a wrong choice. So I would still be in fear, still afraid of what might happen if I make the wrong choice. I now understand so much better that the very nature of this existence is to learn to make choices, and, as Elder Scott would often teach, sometimes the next right thing will be something we are left to reason out alone for a time. When our desires are right, eventually God will clarify for us in His way and time. This process of making choices, learning from our decisions and mistakes, and constantly seeking to understand and align ourselves with the Spirit of the Lord is what builds character. This is something Elder Scott would teach, and I loved reading similar words shared in this talk by Elder Vandenberg:

The forces governed by his own reasoning determine the nature and quality of the choice made. Thus, that which we call character is formed. We refer to this privilege of choice as the agency of man.

It was a timely talk, too, seeing as as I write, election day in my state has just passed. Elder Vandenberg quotes a Jim Love who says,

“[E]very day is election day, for throughout every hour of every day we each exercise our right of choice. We don’t have to have a local or national election in order to elect or vote. … A man’s election can determine the deciding vote for or against his own success. … You elect to gain a thorough knowledge of your business or you don’t. You elect to be honest or you don’t. You elect to save a part of what you earn or you don’t. You elect to always do your best or you don’t. And by your own election you will be defeated or you will succeed.” (Jim Love, R&R Magazine, Research and Review Service of America, Inc., vol. 10, p. 64.)”

(That’s a powerful concept for an election year, too, wouldn’t you say?)

“Choice is an element of human dignity,” says another person quoted in this talk.

One of the things I appreciated about Elder Vandenberg’s talk is that he made it clear that true reason is aligned with truth. (It’s hard not to just make the observation that in light of this idea, with which I agree, arguments about faith vs. reason really are false arguments.)

The knowledge on which to pursue our reasoning is in [the scriptures]” and words of the prophets.

I’ve been watching my 17-year-old son bring these principles to light. As he prepares for his mission, which is a short year away, he’s pondering how he can more closely align his life with God. I have been inspired watching him humbly take counsel from his dad and me, notice patterns in his life and the quiet nudgings from the Spirit to get off of plateaus that he was sensing, a desire to align his life with what the prophets are teaching (including using missionary preparation tools and assignments to reason through what that means). I told him tonight that one of the unexpected blessings of being a parent is to watch God at work in my children’s lives. It strengthens my testimony to see them wrestle through their problems and weaknesses, and engage true principles and practices, especially personal scripture study and prayer, to connect with God so that they can know what the next right things are in their lives.

As a mom, part of what it means to me to love the doctrine of agency is to watch myself and my tendency to want to control their lives, rather than let them learn by experience and live their lives. Of course, we do all we can as parents. We do daily scriptures and prayers, Family Home Evening, church meetings on Sundays, temple attendance, etc. We talk about prophetic teachings a lot as well.

But none of those things will have their full power unlocked in my life or in my children’s lives unless choices are made to act and align and assess and repent and continuously seek God’s personal guidance for the things that only God knows about their lives. I’m reminded of another teaching from Elder Scott who said that once you start to understand how personal revelation works, the surety you can feel can exceed what you can see with your natural eyes. Elder Vandenberg uses the words ‘convincing logic’ but to me it’s more than just logic. It’s light and light makes sense when you learn to trust and follow it.

The Lord’s call to us is: “Come now, and let us reason together. …” (Isa. 1:18.) He wants us to listen to and consider his doctrine. The scriptures tell us this: “… that men might be made partakers of the glories which were to be revealed, the Lord sent forth the fulness of his gospel, his everlasting covenant, reasoning in plainness and simplicity.” (D&C 133:57.)

He wants us to become acquainted with his gospel, to test it, to prove it, to participate in it, and to use it as a base on which to make our decisions. This is that men might base their choices on truth. When reason is joined with truth, there is convincing logic that sets up the path in our hearts that leads upward and onward to a nobler life.

Did I mention that I love the doctrine of agency? There is no Atonement without it. It is exciting to take one day at a time and to learn and grow “line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.”

That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light [and reasons in the light of truth], and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

I am so grateful to know of the doctrine of the plan of God, within which the doctrine of agency is central. I used to be afraid of all the choices, but now I am learning to embrace the delightful discovery process of learning to trust light and truth, to trust God, and to seek for the divine help and courage to act upon whatever truth becomes clear through study and faith. I find that God’s mercy is greater than I ever imagined, even when sometimes I make mistakes or get lazy. But I really find His power when I act. Faith truly is a principle of action and of power.

I would recommend this talk. It is full of great quotes and many powerful scriptures too numerous to share here.

And I would recommend reading thoughts from my friends about what inspired them from this week’s reading (and last week’s reading).

– Reason and Truth Rattling Around My Brain by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/reason-and-truth-…

– Watchman, Warn the Wicked by G
http://www.jrganymede.com/20…/…/28/watchman-warn-the-wicked/

– Moral Foundations and Sacred Testimony by Daniel Ortner
https://symphonyofdissent.wordpress.com/…/moral-foundation…/

– Doubts and People by Walker Wright
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/06/28/doubts-peo…/

– That Which is of Most Value by SilverRain
http://rainscamedown.blogspot.com/…/that-which-is-of-most-v…

Are We Listening to Their Warnings? by Jan Tolman
http://www.ldswomenofgod.com/are-we-listening-to-their-war…/

– The Political is Personal by Marilyn Nielson
http://light-in-leaves.blogspot.com/…/the-political-is-pers…

Here’s the list of posts from last week, featuring thoughts from the  Friday morning session of the April 1973 General Conference:

– Leadership in the Kingdom by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/leadership-in-th…/

– Japan is for the Japanese by G
http://www.jrganymede.com/…/japanese-saints-american-saints/

– Individual Testimonies of the Divinity of this Work by Daniel Ortner
https://symphonyofdissent.wordpress.com/…/individual-testi…/

– “In the Kingdom of Our Heavenly Father No Man is a ‘Nobody.’” byWalker Wright
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/in-the-kingdom-o…/

– So Simple a Call by SilverRain
http://rainscamedown.blogspot.com/2016/…/so-simple-call.html

– It must begin with you personally by Marilyn Nielson
http://light-in-leaves.blogspot.com/…/it-must-begin-with-yo…

The post #ldsconf Odyssey: Just do the next right thing appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

One of the things I appreciate about being a part of this effort is to read the words of my fellow brothers and sisters. Their perspectives and experience enrich my experience engaging the words of the prophets. Of course, we don’t want our posts to replace the words of the prophets, but we hope perhaps this project will inspire you in some way, as it has us.   

The other posts from this week’s reading, which focused on the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1972 General Conference, are at the bottom of the post. (I’ve also included links to last week’s posts.)

There were a lot of things that stood out to me from this week’s reading for the General Conference Odyssey, but there is one message I feel most pressed to record for my life’s record.

The quote I will center my thoughts around in from Hartman Rector, Jr.

“[D]o the right thing because you love the Lord. It is so vitally important that, I feel, if you do anything in righteousness for any other reason than you love the Lord, you are wrong—at least you are on very shaky ground. And, somewhere your reasons for acting in righteousness will not be strong enough to see you through. You will give way to expediency, or peer group pressure, or honor, or fame, or applause, or the thrill of the moment, or some other worldly reason. Unless your motives are built upon the firm foundation of love of the Lord, you will not be able to stand.”

As a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, this concept of doing things for the right reasons is a critical life principle for me. I repeat the phrase “Do it for God” on almost a daily basis. But I can feel that God wants me to understand this little mantra of mine more deeply. This week, the concept of offering all that I do to God (and God alone) has come through in multiple ways: in a movie my daughter and I watched a week ago, in my 12-step meeting this week, in Relief Society on Sunday.

One hand, it seems so simple. Just do good because you love God. I think few of us who are religious choose such a life without some measure of love for God. And yet, the natural-man tendencies to want human reassurance are strong for me. As Elder Carl B. Cook said in his 2012 General Conference talk, “Look Up”:

I think the challenge for all of us…is to try not to look sideways to see how others are viewing our lives but to look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us. He doesn’t look on the outward appearance but on the heart (see 1 Samuel 16:7). And He knows, better than anyone else, what each one of us needs.

In addition to having the fear of man inside of me, I also am coming to realize that while I have always loved God and tried to be obedient, I have also feared Him. I have misunderstood His character. I spent four decades thought somehow I had to earn His love through my behavior and mistake-free living. I had grown up believing that God was somehow keeping score on my life, and I could never measure up. I wore myself out by trying to earn something that was freely given and always available.

I am still basking in this quote from Elder Rector, and the power of the scripture he shared as well.

It seems that, at this day and time, everything is in a state of change. There appears to be nothing in this life that is not subject to erosion, or decay, or just change for the sake of change—like the new automobile models each year. There is only one place where we can go and find consistency, and that is where Joseph went: to the Lord, for “he is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.” And the most important fact is that there is no place you can go where he is not. In the words of the psalmist,

“Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

“If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

“If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

“Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

“If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

“Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.” (Ps. 139:7–12.)

I’m reminded of the quote from the last General Conference that left me weeping and still leaves me rejoicing. (*See footnote) Elder Holland said,

“My brothers and sisters, the first great commandment of all eternity is to love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind, and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our daily life. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keep seeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor.”

President Uchtdorf also testified, “The sheep is worthy of divine rescue simply because it is loved by the Good Shepherd.”

I use my little mantra, “Do it for God” whenever I feel myself slipping into insecurities, or worrying about what people think of me, or second-guessing myself, or trying to explain/justify/defend myself to get someone’s approval, or trying to manipulate or control someone else. But even after writing this post I’m realizing that the real message of “Do it for God” is more something like this:

Believe that His love for you and everyone else really is that big, so there is no reason to worry. He’s got this.

I am so grateful to be learning more in a heart-deep kind of way how much He loves us all. How much He loves me.

– – – –

*God is amazing. He knows how to prepare the ground of my heart for truths I most desperately need. He uses many ways and means (see Alma 37:7) for my salvation. My heart had been prepared for Elder Holland’s words months before General Conference, in part because of chapter in a book by by Max Lucado (creator of children’s books about a beloved character named Punchinello). The chapter was about the New Testament story of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet — a story that has become a favorite of mine in the past year. Lucado talks about how often we try to willpower our way to Christlike living — and fail in our efforts.

“[W]e try. Teeth clenched. Jaw firm. We’re going to love [serve God and others, obey] if it kills us. And it may do just that.

“Could it be that we are missing a step? Could it be that the first step of love is not toward [others] but toward [God]?…. (1 John 4:19)

“Long to be more loving? Begin by accepting your place as a dearly loved child…. (Eph. 5:1-2)

“Want to learn to forgive? Then consider how you have been forgiven…. (Eph. 4:32)

Finding it hard to put others first? Think of the way Christ put your first…. (Phil. 2:6)

Need more patience? Drink from the patience of God” (2 Pet. 3:9). Is generosity an elusive virtue? Then consider how generous God has been with you (Rom. 5:8). Having trouble putting up with ungrateful relatives or cranky neighbors? God puts up with you when you act the same…. (Luke 6:35)

(Cast of Characters, p. 24; scripture references included in original; NIV is used by author)

As John said, “We love him, because he first loved us.” The next time I think of doing whatever I’m doing for God, I’m going to also remind myself to consider all He has done and continues to do for me. Loving Him is so much easier when I first let Him love me.

– – – –

This week’s posts from the General Conference Odyssey:

A Little Weird is the Best Case Scenario

God of the Gaps

https://symphonyofdissent.wordpress.com/2016/06/14/the-gospel-is-never-more-beautiful/

“That Is How Christ Feels, and So Should We”

http://rainscamedown.blogspot.com/2016/06/hands-of-god.html
http://light-in-leaves.blogspot.com/2016/06/i-cannot-go-back.html

Last week’s posts, discussing the Sunday morning session of October 1972’s General Conference:

• Saviors in the Home by Nathaniel Givens
• A Home Where Mission is Part of Life by G
• Satan’s Effort to Influence and Control the Human Mind by Daniel Ortner
• Abomination and Understanding, Works and Grace by Ralph Hancock
• Divorce, Pornography, Turner, Persky, and Being a Mormon Woman by SilverRain
• Zombies, Mormons, and Ants by Jan Tolman
• We are the catalyst by Marilyn Nielson

The post Do it for God (i.e., Let Him love you!) #ldsconf Odyssey appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Image credit: Wikimedia Commons; Photographer Girlfierce Photography. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. The photo is entitled “One Step a Time”

There’s been a theme showing up in my life the past few days, something I wanted to write about. It’s summed up in one word: Obedience.

That word, though. Sometimes it can give me a little bit of a panic attack — not because I don’t believe in it, but because my perfectionistic self has spent a lot of time over the years hand-wringing about my inability to be perfectly obedient to all of God’s commandments all of the time. I am also easily overwhelmed at the checklists of what Good Mormons Do. In addition, I have sweat a lot of bullets over the years about how very short I fall in being like the Savior in terms of character traits.

Because, after all, He was perfect. 

And I’m not.

Many months ago, I set to trying to understand this key doctrinal principle better. I turned to Nephi in the Book of Mormon, because Nephi talks a lot about obedience. I thought maybe he’d be able to teach me something.

Teach me he did. (Well, the Lord taught me, but you know what I mean.)

I was reminded, of course, that Nephi was an obedient soul. He lived the law of Moses. He cared about the Ten Commandments (or else he wouldn’t have cared about the whole Laban thing). And, like I said, he just talked a lot about obedience. It mattered to him.

But what I noticed as I studied more about Nephi and his obedience is that a good portion of the time when he was talking about obedience, he was talking about obedience to personal revelation, not about the general commandments God gives us all. (Again, obedience in that sense mattered to him.)

But this additional insight about obedience really mattered to me, because suddenly it made obedience more personal — something that isn’t just about me trying to be a Good Christian or a Good Mormon, but about me coming to know what God wants me, Michelle, to know and do in my own life.

I’ve been thinking about Nephi again this week. I read a letter from a nephew who just entered the Missionary Training Center. His letters are amazing. (Speaking of Nephi, he organizes his letters into “Large Plates” general stuff and “Small Plates” spiritual insights. Love it.)

As I read his letter to one of my daughters, a thread appeared in his letter. I combine something he said in the Large Plates part of his letter with something from the Small Plates.

We’re currently teaching a tentative atheist…who has lots of questions. Our discussions are super fun but we always manage to get across an important central message and commitment regardless of her slightly random questions. She’s progressing and seeks more light and truth every day, and is willing to do so by keeping commitments (D&C 93:28). [Read that scripture — it matters to this post.]….

There are three main levels of scripture study: learning information, gaining insight, and receiving revelation. The first one builds knowledge, the second builds understanding, but the third will always include personal application and a call to action by the Spirit. I realized that I am too often blinded by information and too easily satisfied with insight that I don’t gain the most important objective.

In a similar vein, the high level of repetition in church lessons, the scriptures, and ordinances of the gospel and temples are not intended for informative purposes alone, but to facilitate revelatory experiences….

Receiving revelation will only increase our faith if we act on it. Hence, Laman and Lemuel built no lasting faith from signs and angels because they didn’t act upon the answers the received.

That insight about Laman and Lemuel really struck me. A key thing that separated them from the happiness that Nephi and his people found was simple obedience, acting upon what they had seen and learned.

It was with my nephew’s thoughts rolling around in my mind and heart that I re-read the first talk in the Saturday afternoon session of October 1972 General Conference.

The life of the Savior is replete with instances where he applied the principle of “Thy will be done, not mine.” Christ’s ability to apply this great principle in his life made it possible for him to become perfect.

As we apply “Thy will be done, not mine” in our lives, we will likewise move toward perfection and true happiness….

To obtain the desired happiness on this earth and in the world to come, we must steadfastly face trials and tribulations regardless of the form they take, with the spirit, “Thy will be done, not mine.”

My mind then drifted to a quote that is shared in the Church’s 12-step program — a program that for me is a key part of my spiritual life. This is from Elder Neal A. Maxwell:

“The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him” (“Insights from My Life,” Ensign, Aug. 2000, 9).

(As a side-note: This is not an easy concept for me to grasp, in part because I sometimes simply don’t know that I know what God’s will is. That is part of my hand-wringing, too. Sometimes I spend so much time and energy worrying about what God wants me to do, afraid of doing something wrong. And yet…what I am learning as I come to know God better is that His will often makes itself known. I don’t have to wring my hands or worry myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t ever have to wrestle (again, I think of Nephi), but God does find ways to let me know what He wants me to do. More on that in a minute.)

A couple of hours after this train of thought was moving in me, I happened to need President Uchtdorf’s most recent talk (He Will Place You On His Shoulders and Carry You Home) for something I was working on. Once again, the message of willing obedience was right there for me to ponder.

Because [the Good Shepherd] loves you, He will find you. He will place you upon His shoulders, rejoicing. And when He brings you home, He will say to one and all, “Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.”

But, you might be thinking, what is the catch? Surely I have to do more than simply wait to be rescued.

While our loving Father desires that all of His children return to Him, He will force no one to heaven.⁴ God will not rescue us against our will.

So what must we do?

Usually, my brain gets ready for the checklist, or the injunction we often hear to keep ALL of God’s commandments. But like I said (even though I’m a basic commandment follower), that concept of ALL overwhelms my anxious, perfectionistic mortal brain. President Uchtdorf’s thoughts reflect more of what I’ve experienced as I’ve come to understand more about how God works in my life.

[Coming to Christ] requires a little faith. But do not despair. If you cannot muster faith right now, begin with hope.

If you cannot say you know God is there, you can hope that He is. You can desire to believe.⁸ That is enough to start.

Then, acting on that hope, reach out to Heavenly Father. God will extend His love toward you, and His work of rescue and transformation will begin.

Over time, you will recognize His hand in your life. You will feel His love. And the desire to walk in His light and follow His way will grow with every step of faith you take.

We call these steps of faith “obedience.”

Elder Richards says that obedience is the key to perfection. And that was how I was going to title this post.

What I felt as I read Elder Richards’ talk, though, was more along the lines of what President Uchtdorf said. This kind of line-upon-line obedience that President Uchtdorf describes is an obedience that I can wrap my brain around. I can seek to engage with God, today, seeking to see His hand, today, and by doing this each day, I can increase in faith and faithfulness. I can increase in grace and truth…just as Jesus did.  (Huh. Maybe it’s easier to be like Jesus than I thought.) The difference between me and Jesus is that I have a Savior to make up the difference. He had to walk it all perfectly (but how did He do it? By engaging with God each moment, each day), and because He did that, all I have to do is start where I am, today. It’s my job to be mortal. It’s His job to make up the difference.

Start where you are (another President Uchtdorf phrase)! Isn’t that a hope-filled thought? One day at a time, we can be perfected as we become more perfect in our trust in God’s will and love for us — collectively and individually.

As I wrote this post, a favorite insight from a 12-step author I love came to mind. I end my post with her thoughts.

“I’ve learned some ideas about God’s will for my life, about God, and about my relationship to God. God’s will is not an outside, impossible, forced agenda for my life. If it’s God’s will, it happens. Usually, it happens naturally, without any control efforts required on my part.

“At times, there have been hard lessons to learn. These lessons had to be learned, however, to work things out inside me so I could have the best possible life.

“Usually, I have to wait longer than I want to. And much letting go is involved in the process.

“God’s love is immediate and powerful, yet gentle, healing, and nurturing. It takes into account what I want and need. God’s will contains discipline, not deprivation….

“Stepping into God’s care is a gentle step, one that brings peace and harmony.” (Melodie Beattie, A Codependent’s Guide to the Twelve Steps, p. 55)

– – – – –

Posts from this week’s General Conference Odyssey are below.

– All Things Work for Good, Even Detours by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/all-things-work-f…

– – – –

Posts from last week’s Odyssey (highlighting the 1972 Saturday morning session) are below:

– Home is Heaven’s Construction Site by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/home-is-heavens-…/

The post Obedience — Start where you are #ldsconf Odyssey appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Photo credit: MadGeographer, under Creative Commons license

Anyone who knows me would attest to the fact that my life is a mess. My schedule is a mess. My house is a mess. My health is a mess. My brain is often a mess. (For Christmas, my kids gave me a phone case that says, “My brain has too many tabs open.” Isn’t that awesome?) And yes, my computer is a mess, too.

There might be some mess that my children will remember as they reflect on their growing-up years, but I hope they will remember that, with very few exceptions, we did some sort of scriptures or spiritual thought and prayer together every day. I may be a mess in a lot of ways, but I take seriously the counsel to be “brilliant in the basics.”

Now that my children are teenagers and their lives and schedules are helter-skelter, family scripture study more often than not is one-on-one time with Mom. (I’m the night owl, so husband does morning shift and I do nights.)

And as they have gotten older, the dynamic of scripture study has organically shifted to me asking them to share, rather than me sharing something with them. It’s been simply amazing to hear their thoughts and to feel and see God working in their lives. God has worked in my life, through them.

This past week is an example. I had a very hard week with some difficult medical tests. My husband was out of town. I had some sort of problem with one of the tests, and ended up  in the ER with serious pain. In the middle of this, though, God provided help through kind friends at just the right time. And I felt peace even in the face of the anxiety that comes with experiences like this.

On Saturday, in my one-on-one time with my 17-year-old son, I said the usual, “Do you have something to share?” That day he had given a devotional thought at our ward youth conference, and he chose to share that with me. The thought was simple yet profound (and I paraphrase):

“We can’t endure to the end [which is a concept from the youth theme this year in 2 Nephi 31:20], without having an eternal perspective. It’s simply not possible.”

When I started reading the General Conference talks for this week, I had originally planned to write about N. Eldon Tanner’s talk on not judging. But my son’s share lingered in my mind and when I saw similar messages in the talks, I felt that should be the message to focus on this week in my post.

Both Marvin J. Ashton (“What is your destination?“) and Thomas S. Monson (“‘Finishers Wanted‘”) addressed this topic of endurance.

Then-Elder Monson said:

“From the very beginning to the present time, a fundamental question remains to be answered by each who runs the race of life. Shall I falter or shall I finish? On the answer await the blessings of joy and happiness here in mortality and eternal life in the world to come.”

Elder Ashton’s approach was a little different, speaking more to how Latter-day Saints might look wrongly at means as ends, and thus miss the mark.

“I am concerned that many of us are confused in our life’s travels with destinations, arrivals, stops, calls, stations, and assignments. It appears to me that some of us may be lost today because we think we have arrived….

“Have you arrived when you go to the temple? Is temple marriage your destination? …Oftentimes there are real dangers in our lives when we allow lofty ideals and goals, such as temple marriage, to become an end instead of a means. All of our priorities must be properly placed within the framework of eternity if we are to avoid the stagnations of arriving.

“I humbly bear witness to you today that an honorably completed mission, a celestial marriage, a valued testimony, a position of major responsibility in the Church are not destinations in the lives of true Latter-day Saints. They can be important aids in eternal progression. They will not save you and me in the kingdom of God.”

Elder Ashton’s words caused me to pause and reflect on lessons I feel God has been teaching me as of late. I realize that I’ve gotten stuck in thinking about arrivals or destinations in other ways. I use the words “outcomes” vs. “process.”

For example, when I started the week last week, all I wanted was for the tests to go well. This reflects how I have often thought during my years with health issues. For the first several years of this struggle, the focus of my faith was simply to get better. I became disheartened and confused when that outcome did not happen. I thought I must be doing something wrong because I hadn’t arrived at a place of good health. I had similar thoughts and struggles when I was single for many years longer than I thought I would be. Was my faith not strong enough? I could cite other examples. It’s so easy to want outcomes.

Only in recent years, even recent weeks and days, have I come to realize with more clarity what the prophets teach: that God’s purposes in my life are not to prevent all pain or struggle. His primary purpose is to allow me opportunities to come to know and trust Him in the mess, and to truly become changed through faith on Jesus Christ. Changed from a being who is driven by fear and willfulness to a child who is willing to learn from life’s lessons.

As Elder Oaks taught (sharing words from a loved one): “Our…faith is in Jesus Christ, and is not dependent on outcomes.”

I am coming to realize that it really is no small thing to endure well in faith. But there is nothing sweeter than to feel glimpses of heaven, and to have the knowledge through tender mercies and quiet whisperings of the Spirit’s that testify that God really is in charge and can be trusted. To remember and trust eternal truths we once knew before this life really is why we are here on earth.

I end where I began: with my messy life. I do not seek to give excuses for my weakness and shortcomings, and yet I am grateful that God is showing me that He really means it when He says through His servants that “our direction is more important than our speed” (Elder Larry Lawrence, “What Lack I Yet?“). I am grateful to know that God isn’t looking for perfection in my life, but He is hoping I will look to Him for strength to endure in faith. He’s not looking for me to arrive; He just wants me to come — to come to Christ. He isn’t keeping score of all the times I fall; He just wants me to keep on trying, keep on working, keep on walking.

As Elder Monson taught, “… the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. …” (Eccl. 9:11.) This echoes what President Uchtdorf taught just last October: “We don’t acquire eternal life in a sprint—this is a race of endurance.”

I believe my messy mortal self will never stop wanting linear outcomes, quick fixes, easy answers, and concrete arrivals. I’m grateful for reminders like I had this week through life’s stuff, through the inspired insight from my son, and through these 1972 talks (and 2015 talks) that enduring through faith in the Savior is what I really want.

The post Enduring in Faith appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

It’s been quite a firestorm online since the news was leaked that a policy change around the children of same-sex couples was made this week. Here is the official video, an interview with Elder D. Todd Christofferson, that gives some context and explanation about the policy change. (You can also watch the video and read the transcript at this Mormon Newsroom link.)

The whole gamut of reactions has shown up on social media. There are some for whom this policy was a logical clarification of already-clear doctrine about marriage between a man and woman being central to God’s plan. There are many for whom the policy raised questions, especially as to why children of same-sex couples were so directly affected by this policy. There are some who are angry and some who feel deep hurt on behalf of those this policy will affect. And, of course, there are some who are misrepresenting and demonizing this policy — an unfortunate but not surprising response. (Stating the obvious, there will always be a range of responses to something so charged.)

For me, the surprise I felt lasted only minutes and my feelings quickly settled into a sense of gratitude for clarity in a complex and continually-changing political, cultural, and social landscape. The issue of same-sex marriage as it relates to my faith is something I have thought and pondered for a decade and a half, perhaps more than almost any other topic except perhaps doctrine relating directly to Mormon women.

I shared some initial reflections on my personal Facebook wall as to why this policy made sense to me, and as people engaged with me, it quickly became clear (although not surprising) that the range of emotions and reactions was broad and varied. I was grateful for people who would engage in conversation and share their thoughts, because I think we benefit when we seek to understand others and also feel safe to engage and be honest even when disagreeing.

I hope that we can all be sensitive to those around us and to that range of feelings that people are having right now. Our leaders have told us repeatedly that it’s okay to have questions. As Elder Christofferson noted yet again, it’s not okay to advocate against the leaders, but it’s okay to wrestle and, when necessary, even pound on the door of heaven for understanding, peace, perspective, and insight.

I fear that there is a misconception that people either completely agree with this policy or completely disagree. What I’m seeing is that a fair number of people are wrestling. There is a tension here that Elder Christofferson captures quite beautifully that can be hard to navigate: How do we reach out in love to all our brothers and sisters, while also unflinchingly upholding the now-all-the-more-clear divine mandates around the doctrine of marriage between a man and a woman, and the corollary to that doctrine, which is that sexual relations are only sanctioned by God when between a legally married husband and wife, man and woman? And how can you not feel a tug at your heart for the children who are and will be affected by all of this?

My husband and I had a chat with our nephew and his wife yesterday. (Incidentally, our nephew is the author of this post, which went wildly viral on Friday, a post that has incited a lot of vitriol online. How easy it can be to demonize someone you don’t know. Love needs to flow both ways. This can be hard not just for those who are affected by the policy, but for those who support it.)

I am sobered by the reality that for some, a change like this can feel like the last straw in a years-long wrestle around this issue. The thought that came to mind was that it can feel, for some, very Abraham-like. It can feel impossible, baffling.

I was reminded of this quote tonight, and am struck by how relevant it feels because of the perplexing nature of Abraham’s test (and because of the tender feelings of a loving parent that were involved in what he faced):

“I heard Joseph Smith say and I presume Brother Snow heard him also-in preaching to the Twelve in Nauvoo, that the Lord would get hold of their heart strings and wrench them, and that they would have to be tried as Abraham was tried. And Joseph said that if God had known any other way whereby he could have touched Abraham’s feelings more acutely and more keenly he would have done so. It was not only his parental feelings that were touched. There was something else besides. He had the promise that in him and in his seed all the nations of the earth should be blessed; that his seed should be multiplied as the stars of the heaven and as the sand upon the sea shore. He had looked forward through the vista of future ages and seen, by the spirit of revelation, myriads of his people rise up through whom God would convey intelligence, light and salvation to a world. But in being called upon to sacrifice his son it seemed as though all his prospects pertaining to posterity were come to naught. But he had faith in God, and he fulfilled the thing that was required of him. Yet we cannot conceive of anything that could be more trying and more perplexing than the position in which he was placed (Journal of Discourses 24:264).”

There is little someone like me who isn’t walking that path with this particular policy can say to take away that pain. It’s just there. But I do believe that we each have to walk our Mount Moriahs. I have felt tastes of such tormenting tensions in my life, and there have been times they have almost broken me — some quite recently, in fact. When you are backed against the wall of faith, it can feel like it may press life out of your soul.

But I have come to believe all the more as I have walked some of my own personal Moriahs that this is some of what we are here to experience — not because God is some sadistic being, but because there is no other way to truly come to trust Him unless you aren’t up against something impossible, unmanageable, beyond mortal reach and understanding. Paraphrasing Ezra Taft Benson, we all will find times when we are backed against the wall of faith.

If I may, let me take you back to the conversation yesterday. As the four of us sat and shared our thoughts, I envisioned those who may be feeling like Abraham might have felt — afraid, perplexed, pressed, baffled. I pictured Father Abraham walking up Mount Moriah, alone. What a walk that must have been! No one could walk that path for him. His choice to make that journey of faith was between him and his God. (Even President Gordon B. Hinckley, the quintessential optimist, described the road back to God as a lonely one, one requiring deep faith.)

And surely, if people had know what Abraham was going to do, many would have declared him insane at best and evil at worst.

But rather than being left with the image of a lonely Abraham, I am grateful for the insight my husband shared about this seemingly-impossible scriptural story. Yes, Abraham had to pass this test. Only he could decide if he would follow through with what God told him to do.

But he did not walk up Mount Moriah alone.

His son, Isaac, was there, walking beside him. As my husband reminded us, Isaac is a type for the Savior. He is the One who walks with each of us, the One who actually was sacrificed on our behalf. He is our ram in the thicket, the One who exemplifies both perfect love and taught the law that leads back to God. He is the One who can help us through our heartrending trials. He is the One who makes compensatory blessings possible — for example, to children who cannot be baptized for a time.

He is the answer to it all, whatever it may be.

We can (and I think we should) keep an open dialogue about all of these issues, and allow people to be where they are in their journey with it all. I firmly believe that those who seek insight and understanding from God will, in God’s way and time — line upon line — receive insight, help, comfort, and clarity.

But perhaps more than anything, I pray that especially those of us not in pain right now will prayerfully be ready to reach out to those who are struggling, ready when the Spirit prompts to testify that they do not walk their paths alone. God is there, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. We can all come to know and feel and realize that as we walk our own journeys in spite of — and perhaps more particularly because of — our Mount Moriah experiences. Abraham would not have known the power of his own faith and the wonder of the angel and the ram had he not walked that lonely road in faith.

God bless those of you who may be walking such mountains now. Know that you are loved and cared for by many, most especially by God and His Son.

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