“Sometimes [God] refines us in ways we might not have wanted because He intends to use us in ways we might not have thought.” Emily Belle Freeman, quoting her sister, in a talk entitled “Finding God’s Fingerprints”

I listened to this talk today, and was moved by many thoughts Emily Belle Freeman shared. Among others, she talks about how the hard times we go through may be helping us prepare for ways God needs us to help others.

She recounts the story of a “wise woman” in 2 Samuel 20 who lived in the time of King David’s reign. The kingdom was under threat, and a general in David’s army had a plan to surround the city where the primary enemy, Sheba, was.

But his plan was to destroy the whole city to overcome this one man.

The “wise woman” “cried out of the city and said,

Hear, hear; say, I pray you, unto Joab, Come near hither, that I may speak with thee.

And when he was come near unto her, the woman said…I am one of them that are peaceable and faithful in Israel: thou seekest to destroy a city and a mother in Israel: why wilt thou swallow up the inheritance of the Lord?

Her negotiations and subsequent actions “in her wisdom” (engaging her people in helping with the problem [cutting of the man’s head…not exactly your 21st-century solution, but one matching the time] saved everyone in her city from destruction.

Emily calls this woman a “difference maker.” We don’t know this wise woman’s backstory, but we can have confidence by what little we see in the text that she is a devoted woman of God. What life experiences might have influenced her to exert such courage and clarity at such a time as this?

I’m struck that the key difference that she made was through a brave but simple one-on-one conversation, and then collaborative work with other God-fearing people, leading “in her wisdom.”

I recently had a conversation with a friend about the power of women. She stirred feelings in me that prompted me to start this website in the first place. As did Emily.

When we know who we are — or Whose we are — we can be stronger instruments in His hands to do good in the world.

Here are a few quotes that capture what it might mean to be a “difference maker” as a woman of God.

I believe the change we seek in ourselves and in the groups we belong to will come less by activism and more by actively trying every day to understand one another. Why? Because we are building Zion—a people “of one heart and one mind.”⁹ As…women [of God], we have broad influence. That influence is applied in everyday moments when we are studying with a friend, putting children to bed, talking to a seatmate on the bus, preparing a presentation with a colleague. We have power to remove prejudice and build unity. –Sharon Eubank

“We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who rejoice in motherhood and in womanhood and in the family. We are not panicked about perfection, but we are working to become more pure. And we know that in the strength of the Lord we can do all righteous things because we have immersed ourselves in His gospel (see Alma 26:12).” –“We are Women of God” – Sheri S. Dew.

“To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times” (Teachings: Spencer W. Kimball, 217).

“If we don’t do our part, no one else is going to do it for us. … We can’t delegate [our part in Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness]. We can’t pass it off to anyone. It’s ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it’s still our part, and we’re accountable for it. There will come a day when we will all remember what we knew before we were born. We will remember that we fought in a great conflict for this privilege. How do we meet this responsibility? We daily put our energies into the work that is uniquely ours to do” (Julie B. Beck, “Understand the Divine Roles of Women,” Ensign, Feb. 2009, 67).

And if we can seek to remember now what we knew before we came to this earth — and we can remember, or at least catch glimpses, through the help of the Spirit of God — then we will be led as to how we can be difference makers — to help bring Christ’s love and healing power and to the lives of others.

Or at least bring that invitation to “Come and see.”

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I went on a study abroad last year. This was one of my favorite places we visited. I’m grateful for the reminders from something I wrote a year ago—beauty from ashes and the Creator is in control.

Beauty from ashes.

What a hopeful thing.

This church was destroyed during WWII. In 1993, they began to rebuild it, and even used some of the original stones (the darker ones in the pictures). After 12 years, it was complete.

As I had the opportunity to visit this magnificent church, I thought about this:

Sometimes the beautiful things we have in our lives may be destroyed, right before our eyes. We may see a pile of rubble and not exactly know what to do with it, or how to piece it back together. However, one day, when the time is right (as patience is often required), it can be rebuilt. One brick at a time. Until this new and beautiful thing is complete.

It took 12 years for this church to be rebuilt. What’s that saying? “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Find patience. Find the joy in the journey of rebuilding. It’s there. You’ll just need to work some to dig around in the pile of rubble and find it. This church was completed by using pieces of its burnt self. It stands as a constant reminder that beauty really can come from ashes. Its scars provide hope for a better and more beautiful future.

“If mortal hands can transform rubble and ruins into a beautiful house of worship, then we can have confidence and trust that our loving Heavenly Father can and will rebuild us. His plan is to build us into something far greater than what we were—far greater than what we can ever imagine. With each step of faith on the path of discipleship, we grow into the beings of eternal glory and infinite joy we were designed to become.” -Dieter F. Uchtdorf (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/he-will-place-you-on-his-shoulders-and-carry-you-home?lang=eng)

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I had a precious conversation with my youngest child (a freshman in college) last night. We both, in our own worlds (too far apart from each other right now, even though we still live so relatively close), were feeling the hard of COVID and all the unknowns that feel so much more present, even though they are always there.

We’ve been working together to notice the good in each day (an idea that came as we talked about Elder Soares’ talk, “Seeking Christ in Every Thought“). We want to be witnesses to each other that even we things feel hard, God is aware of us. And that good things are always happening, even when we can’t always see them (Or maybe we can if we look a little more for His hand.)

Last night, she had an amazing miracle story to share, one of those WOW moments where you just KNOW God is saying, ““I am here, and I know where you are. Just do your best, for I will take care of the rest.” (Reference in comments.)

And as the conversation continued, more awareness of more tender mercies just kept pouring into our conversation. We were kind of both left speechless.

I was grateful to see a post from Ann Voskamp, a devoted Christian woman who understands the power of looking for the good. It was another reminder to choose to look for the good, even — or especially – when things feel hard. She talks of how she used to be someone who was waiting for joy to come, waiting for good things to happen. And then she did an experiment about writing down daily tender mercies. Her goal was to reach 1000 (and she did).

And this is what she discovered:

on any old day, even this one, it is never too late, all she had to do was write down these smallest slivers of grace in her everyday because:

Gratefulness isn’t hard.

Forgetting to be grateful is what makes life hard.

See AnnVoskamp.com

Ann, a woman seeking Christ, issues an invitation to finish the year 2020 with God and grace in our hearts through the exercise of gratitude. “Keep your eyes open to the gifts all around you — that you get to open if you just pay attention.”

As if that wasn’t enough of a clear nudge from heaven to keep practicing looking for the good, later last night, I read about Orihah. He was a king in the Book of Mormon who “did remember how great things that Lord had done” and “taught his people how great things the Lord had done for their fathers.” (Ether 6:30)

Reading that verse then called to mind Moroni 10:3-5. We as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints often call these verses “Moroni’s promise.” Moroni was the last ancient prophet to finish writing on the plates that Joseph Smith was later given…by Moroni himself, then a resurrected being. The invitation in these verses is specifically about reading the record contained in what now call the Book of Mormon, and praying about it to ask God if it is a true record.

But the secret to preparing to receive insight from and connection to God is also found in these verses.

…remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/moro/10?lang=eng

This is a pattern that shows up elsewhere in the Book of Mormon as well. It’s connected to the covenants Latter-day Saints make every week as we partake of the sacrament. Remember.

When we look for the good, God will help us find it. Those who are seeking Jesus, like Ann Voskamp, and so many others, show how true this concept is.

In truth, the power of gratitude is understood to be a key to peaceful living in a variety belief traditions. Gratitude helps us experience life in a more awake, present, peaceful, radically accepting way. This is not the stuff of pretended positivity, but rather an earnest openness to the good that is always around us, and that becomes more visible when we commit to the practice of looking.

I’m grateful my daughter is willing to help me remember to practice gratitude each day. Would you like to join us in this practice?

What good can you see from your day today? Regardless of faith traditions or political affiliations or countries of origin, we can all find a way to practice looking for the good. It makes a difference for me when I do. And I wonder if we all practiced together if we might discover a bit more individual and collective peace distilling into our lives.

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“Man’s greatest happiness comes from losing himself for the good of others.” (David O. McKay, from this talk)

Service is an answer for unhappiness. (Please understand that I am not saying that service is the answer for clinical depression or other mental illnesses, that is a hugely different issue.)

Many years ago I became acquainted with a wealthy woman (wealthy by my standards). One day we got onto the topic of paying tithing. She said, “Getting paid more doesn’t mean that paying tithing is any easier. It gets harder because that check is so large. You look at it and think, ‘Wow, that could almost buy a car!'” I realized that she was right, it hadn’t occurred to me before. Her statement stuck with me and recently I realized that I had that attitude, but in relation to service.

Recently I’ve been frustrated by the responsibilities my husband and I have at church. It seemed overwhelming that so much is asked of both of us. How could we take care of everything in our lives and perform the duties necessary at church? When I asked it of myself, of my husband, and of God, I thought it was a rhetorical question. Turns out God gave me an answer. The answer is that I have too many useless cares. I have too much good and better but not enough best.

This morning the lines to the hymn ‘Come Come Ye Saints’ [“saints” in our church simply means “members”] came into my mind:

“Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
’Tis better far for us to strive
Our useless cares from us to drive;
Do this, and joy your hearts will swell—
All is well! All is well!”
– William Clayton (LDS Hymns #30)

Specifically I thought of the line, “our useless cares from us to drive….” The service I perform is important, to some in desperate need it could even be called essential. My children and husband would say that my service in our home is essential. That is something worth caring about. What isn’t so obvious is what isn’t worth caring about, the useless cares. It is a waste of my precious energies to worry and care for useless things. Useless cares may be different for each individual; right now TV is on my list of useless cares, but it might not be one of yours.

A care that I thought was less important, but not exactly useless, was housework and maintaining a reasonably nice home. I am realizing that this is important and effects my family. After I cleaned the kitchen and cleared everything off the kitchen table, my son said, “Mom I like what you did with the table.” It was a little clue to me that I hadn’t been creating the right environment in my home. At the end of each day that I make an effort towards keeping a nice home I feel good. I’m not saying that this is something you need to care about (just like you’re not going to tell me to care about TV), but for me, and where I’m at in my progression, it is something that God wants me to care about.

I have to trust God enough to let Him lead me in a direction that roots out the useless cares of my life, choosing the path of selfless service. To me that is what the hymn means when it says, “No toil nor labor fear.” Choosing service usually involves a period of stress where I renegotiate my own priorities and find useless cares to eliminate. Through this process I find greater happiness, please God, and have the great benefit of aiding those in need.

___

For more We Believe posts, click here.

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As a woman in my Church I am part of the Relief Society. It is the largest women’s organization in the world. To say that it is highly organized would be an understatement. One of the ways that we reach out and fellowship other women in our congregation is through visiting teaching. Every woman has designated visiting teachers (usually two, in a companionship) who visit or call regularly, ideally at least once a month. This inspired program links each woman to other women in her congregation. It can create friendships, provide opportunities to serve, and help everyone involved learn about and grow closer to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am the first to admit that I have sometimes had a bad attitude about going visiting. Sometimes it really feels like one more thing to check off my list each month. Then there are the moments when I realize that there is a reason for me to go and that I know that the Lord knows who I am and knows how I need to grow.

Recently my visiting teaching assignment changed. I have a new visiting teaching partner and I visit one woman that I had never met. I have to admit I was nervous to go and visit this woman that I knew nothing about.

Luckily, I have a friend that I get to go and do visits with. She is fearless and volunteered to go and find about more about this lady before we went to see her. I am so grateful for her fearlessness! She found out that sweet Jane lives in an assisted living home and is suffering from dementia. My partner’s father also has dementia so she is very comfortable with sitting and visiting with Jane and she quickly set up a time for us to go. So now we (my two year old daughter, Agnes, my visiting teaching partner and I) go each month to visit Jane, even though she has no recollection of us. We pet the funny dog they have at the assisted living center and we smile and chat with the others that live there. Agnes searches for the cat that has been banished to the backyard. We have the chance to chat with the lovely woman who runs the home. Last week she kept me entertained with stories from her childhood in Romania.

After we left Jane’s house last week I was happy. Visiting Jane brings me joy. Seeing Agnes run and smile and entertain the women I teach gives me joy. Teaching my daughter that visiting teaching can change lives (even if just for a moment) brings me joy. Becoming comfortable in a situation that I would normally avoid brings me joy. Continually learning and growing in the gospel of Jesus Christ gives me joy.

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Do you have inspiring stories to share from visiting teaching? If so,  send them to mormonwoman(at)gmail(dot)com.

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About 5 years ago a good friend lost her dear baby just a few days after birth. Having recently moved across the country (USA), I could not be with her during those very difficult days. As I pondered over ways to possibly help from afar, I had the idea come that I could use my artistic talent to create healing and increased eternal perspective for their family.

The only pictures my friend had of her little baby were of her surrounded and covered by hospital equipment and tubes. My friend sent a favorite picture of her daughter and from that I painted a portrait so they could have a vision of their precious daughter without the incumbrences of medical treatment.

This was one of the most holy experiences I have had while creating. I felt that this was important to our Heavenly Father; He wanted comfort for my friend and an increased understanding about the true doctrine of eternal families. While I felt my abilities were beneath the importance of the goal, I knew that I was the only one available to do it and that the Lord would increase my talent for the best result.

The baby’s portrait was received with happiness and gratitude. When my friend’s family takes a picture they stand in front of the portrait, where it hangs in a place of honor in their home. I feel humbled and amazed to have been a part of the healing process for my friend and her family and I’m happy to know my talent could be a source of so much good. It might be the most God-like of service, to create unselfishly for another’s benefit.

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I have Rhuematoid Arthritis. On a typical day, I wake up and the joints in my feet hurt enough to cause me to have a mild limp until mid day. I will have to favor one hand, wrist or ankle. Being a stay at home mom means I just have to plow through the pain. But some things are particularly hard. Seatbelts, opening jars, and lifting my baby can cause me to wince or worse. On a particularly hard day I came home from doing errands to find this on my doorstep.

The note reads,

CHICKEN ZUCCHINI CASSEROLE

Eat tonight after baking @ 350 for 45 min or freeze for another time.

Just because.

At first I thought:

“Oh I’m doing fine, they didn’t need to do that for me.”

But after I picking up the casserole and taking a peek at the freshly sliced zucchini inside, I wanted the chance to say to my anonymous friend, “Thank you for thinking of me, I have been having some tough days. You made me feel loved.”

A few scriptures came to mind as I walked that hunk of love wrapped in tin foil to the kitchen.

The first is found in the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 2:17

“And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”

In the Holy Bible I remembered John 13:35

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

And finally, Matthew 6:1-4

“Take heed that ye do not your alms before me, to be seen of them; otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what the right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”

Sister Kathleen H. Hughes spoke about this kind of service in her Liahona article What Greater Service Can We Know: Christlike Friends.

Not only did my anonymous friend serve me physically by feeding my family, but she also taught me how to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ. For both of these acts of service I’d like to say, “Thank you, you made me feel loved.”

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I have noticed that women often confuse the trait of being meek with being weak. While we strive to follow the Savior, we must understand that in order for us to do His work, He needs women who are strong–women who know of a surety who they are.

When the Relief Society Declaration was introduced in 1996, I felt a sense of recognition, a validation of what I knew was my role and purpose as a spirit daughter of God. However, it wasn’t until several years later, while reading the Ensign, that I came across a message from the Relief Society General Presidency towards the back of the magazine. It was a brief article about the Declaration titled, “Who We Are.” I had a feeling of excitement as I felt a prompting to write a new song that would take its inspiration from this important document. The song “Who We Are” was the result of that prompting.

I hope when women all over the world hear this song, it will cause them to stand a little taller as daughters of God, then go forward fearlessly doing what only daughters of God can do.

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