See also this video from teens of various faiths who have chosen to stay sexually pure.

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In the United States, today is the day of LOVE. It’s Valentine’s Day! Truth be told, it’s never been my favorite holiday, but I do think we can’t talk enough about LOVE — and who doesn’t need a nudge to show that love to people they care about?

The title of this post comes from a classic scene in The Princess Bride where the evil Humperdink is faking love for a woman in order to get her to marry him and help him take over the kingdom. If you have seen the movie, you know how hilarious the scene is because the priest’s voice is so unexpected.

But tonight I’m sitting here thinking about how tragic the scene is, too. Humperdink has no time for the sermon the priest wants to give on true love and what it means to truly cherish someone else.

Sounds a bit like what is happening in our culture. It seems so much of our world has little time or interest in divine truths about marriage, about sexual purity and high moral standards, about honesty, about respect. More and more we see pornography pushed and peddled not on the fringe where it belongs, but in previews at wholesome movies, in stores where you buy milk and shoes, and continually through our TVs and various modes of product marketing. That normalization is now including mainstreaming what has to this point only existed in the shadows of society — violent, sexist, abusive sexual relationships. (Yes, especially today, I’m looking straight at you, 50 Shades. 100 million copies in multiple languages? Has our society gone mad?)

So I just wanted to put my voice out there today on the day of love to celebrate what love is. To me, love includes things like respect (for self and the other), honor, virtue (in marriage, too!), truth-telling, and truth-living.

Perhaps if we can fill the world more with pictures and words and videos and movies and quotes of what love really is, the counterfeits will be recognized more readily by more people.

So, what does “wuv, twue wuv” mean to you? I invite you to include a photo, video, or post through your own social media connections about what true love looks like. Of course, this applies to love in marriage, but can also apply to family relationships, friendships, and even the loving actions that exist between strangers.

Let’s celebrate true love today. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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More thoughts to come on this…. Here’s the link to the official statement.

On December 20, 2013, a federal district judge in Salt Lake City issued an order legalizing same-sex marriage in Utah, striking down century-old state laws and a state constitutional amendment that defined marriage exclusively as between a man and a woman. The United States Supreme Court has put that ruling on hold pending consideration of the issue by an appellate court. During the interval between the district court ruling and the Supreme Court stay, numerous same-sex marriages were performed in Utah. Legal proceedings and legislative action in some other states and countries have given civil recognition to same-sex marriage relationships.

As we face this and other issues of our time, we encourage all to bear in mind our Heavenly Father’s purposes in creating the earth and providing for our mortal birth and experience here as His children. “God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:27–28). “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to His plan for His children and for the well-being of society. Strong families, guided by a loving mother and father, serve as the fundamental institution for nurturing children, instilling faith, and transmitting to future generations the moral strengths and values that are important to civilization and crucial to eternal salvation.

Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established. God expects us to uphold and keep His commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society. His law of chastity is clear: sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife. We urge you to review and teach Church members the doctrine contained in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”

Just as those who promote same-sex marriage are entitled to civility, the same is true for those who oppose it. The Church insists on its leaders’ and members’ constitutionally protected right to express and advocate religious convictions on marriage, family, and morality free from retaliation or retribution. The Church is also entitled to maintain its standards of moral conduct and good standing for members.

Consistent with our fundamental beliefs, Church officers will not employ their ecclesiastical authority to perform marriages between two people of the same sex, and the Church does not permit its meetinghouses or other properties to be used for ceremonies, receptions, or other activities associated with same-sex marriages. Nevertheless, all visitors are welcome to our chapels and premises so long as they respect our standards of conduct while there.

While these matters will continue to evolve, we affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same-sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully. The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility—even when we disagree.

As members of the Church, we are responsible to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to illuminate the great blessings that flow from heeding God’s commandments as well as the inevitable consequences of ignoring them. We invite you to pray that people everywhere will have their hearts softened to the truths of the gospel, and that wisdom will be granted to those who are called upon to decide issues critical to society’s future.

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It’s not a very romantic topic for Valentine’s Day (which is being celebrated today in many countries), but it is an important topic. What are Mormon beliefs about marriage and sexuality? Why do these beliefs exist?

Elder Dallin H. Oaks recently spoke on these and other related topics. He acknowledges that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that relate to marriage, gender, and sexual purity tend to leave us looking “different” (and sometimes quite obviously so) from many in today’s culture and political environment.

Many have questions about Mormon doctrines related to these topics, such as why we don’t support gay marriage, why lifelong sexual purity (abstinence before marriage and complete fidelity after) is a Church standard (even for those who never have an opportunity to marry in this life), why gender roles are included as part of our belief system, and more. He also addressed questions such as “If there really is a God, why does He allow bad things to happen?” and how commandments are evidence of God’s love.

Elder Oaks draws on scripture, words of Church leaders (male and female, including a recent BYU devotional given by Elaine S. Dalton), and scripture to explain why Mormon beliefs on these topics often differ from popular, politically-correct culture. (His talk about love and law that he references can be found here.)

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Editor’s note: I’ve run into a few stories that I wanted to share from those who are religious and have experienced same-sex attraction for their whole lives…and who are choosing to live according to traditional Judeo-Christian standards of sexual purity and a belief in marriage between a man and a woman. And how God is helping them do just that.

1.

The first story has made the rounds a lot in social media over the last several weeks. On the sidebar of his blog, he says this in response to who he is:

1. He’s a Marriage and Family Therapist.

2. He’s an active Mormon

3. He’s gay

4. He’s married to a woman (who is awesome!)

5. He’s amazing.

6. He writes this blog. He writes about ALL kinds of things. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It might even make you mad or offended. Give it a try.

Until recently, his blog followers did not know that he has dealt with SSA his whole life. He and his wife decided together to share their story on their tenth wedding anniversary. One of the parts of their post that has stuck out to a lot of people is their description of why their sex life is great. Some have wanted to dismiss their experience, but in truth, I think their statement about intimacy captures divine truth about sexuality and intimacy.

When sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection. [And I would add, because the focus is on filling personal ‘needs’ rather than building a truly intimate, whole relationship — sharing fullness, not filling emptiness.] And Lolly [Mrs. Weed] and I have had that from day one, mostly because we weren’t distracted by the powerful chemicals of infatuation and obsession that usually bring a couple together (which dwindle dramatically after the first few years of marriage anyway). So, in a weird way, the circumstances of our marriage allowed us to build a sexual relationship that is based on everything partners should want in their sex-life: intimacy, communication, genuine love and affection.

[It struck me that this could perhaps be a guide for those who come to our site struggling with the impact of addiction or other unhealthy patterns on an intimate/sexual relationship, so I hope readers so struggling will consider what he shared here.]

The post is long, but it’s well worth the read. His wife, Lolly also shares her side of the story.

2.

I stumbled last week on this blog post by a Catholic man whose blog tagline is “Catholic, Gay, and Feeling Fine.” I actually found his guest post on this blog.

There was much that struck me about his post and perspective. Following are a few snippets.

When Steve, the guest poster, shares with others that he is gay and Catholic and choosing to be celibate, he says he usually gets a loving, supportive response.

[T]he only time I get shock or disgust or disbelief, the only time I’ve noticed people treating me differently after I tell them, is when I tell someone who supports the gay lifestyle. Celibacy?? You must be some kind of freak.

Hooray for tolerance of different viewpoints. I’m grateful to gay activists for some things — making people people more aware of the prevalence of homosexuality, making homophobia less socially acceptable — but they also make it more difficult for me to be understood, to be accepted for who I am and what I believe. If I want open-mindedness, acceptance, and understanding, I look to Catholics.

I hope he could look to Mormons and other religious people, too. It’s my hope that there can be support and encouragement across religions for those who are making such choices. I applaud his choice and his faith in God.

Two more quotes from his post that I loved that I found inspirational:

And as my friend J. said when I told him recently about my homosexuality, “I guess if it wasn’t that, it would have been something else.” Meaning that nobody lives without a burden of one kind or another. As Rabbi Abraham Heschel said: “The man who has not suffered, what can he possibly know, anyway?”

And:

[I]f you believe that men and women and sex and marriage are pretty much whatever we say they are, then okay: we don’t have much left to talk about. That’s not the world I live in….

Being a Catholic means believing in a God who literally waits in the chapel for me, hoping I’ll stop by just for ten minutes so he can pour out love and healing on my heart. Which is worth more — all this, or getting to have sex with who I want? I wish everybody, straight or gay, had as beautiful a life as I have.

What a beautiful testimony of the power of God’s love! Whatever our trials may be, and whatever our chapels may look like (or wherever we may choose to worship God), would that we could all feel such trust and comfort and peace in God’s love and grace.

Again, I recommend reading the whole post.

3.

Gay Mormon Guy is a Mormon who has chosen a celibate life. We’ve shared his blog before, and we’re grateful for his willingness to share his story. He’s raw and honest about the fact that sometimes it can be hard, but he’s also bold about sharing his conviction about his faith and the rightness of his choice to be celibate. There’s no way to point to just one post that sums up his story, so you might end up reading several posts. His is a blog that many put in their reader to hear more of his journey as it unfolds.

4.

Ty Mansfield is also a Mormon man who has written about his life being LDS with same-sex attraction. He also chose to be committed to celibacy and his faith. He had a time when he had what he describes as a “faith crisis” but had found peace and had decided to share it in a book (In Quiet Desperation). It was in reading that book that I first became acquainted with Ty Mansfield’s story. His faith and peace was evident and inspiring. I felt he had things to teach me for my own trials (in similar ways that Steve’s thoughts resonated with me — we all have trials, and we all need God, and we can rely on Him to help us!)

Ty says that “I had pretty much concluded that I probably wouldn’t marry in this life, and I had come to a place where I was okay with that.”

But his story didn’t stop there. In I think he surprised a lot of people by getting married. He shares in this LDS Living article how that happened. Some highlights are below.

I had let go of any personal or cultural pressure to marry and was content to stay single. Then I had an experience in which I felt prompted to continue to prepare myself spiritually and emotionally for the blessing of marriage and leave the rest to the Lord. As much as I felt I wouldn’t marry, I tried to leave it an open question and to trust in God. I felt good about that spiritually, but I continued to experience some emotional ups and downs.

Some time after that, I was earnestly seeking additional divine guidance. I was feeling frustration around some deep emotional connections I had developed with another guy, and it hurt that I couldn’t have what a part of me really wanted. I needed some spiritual reassurance. It was general conference time, so I wrote down some of my most heartfelt questions and went into the Saturday morning session fasting.

As soon as the opening prayer was given, I was completely enveloped by this spiritual feeling. I hardly remember anything that was said during the session, but the feeling was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. For nearly two hours, all the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the frustration were completely gone. In their place was this feeling of divine love I had also never experienced. As a part of that, there was a feeling of what I perceived as pure celestial love and desire to be with a daughter of God in the most holy, connected, and uniting of ways. The world’s portrayal of love and romance seemed so shallow and “false” in comparison. With the feeling came the words: “Just stay with me. If you do, this is the feeling you will someday feel—and it will be a permanent part of your being.” And then suddenly, as the end of the session approached, the feeling left. I didn’t know how I would eventually grow into that feeling as an integral part of my being, but I trusted that God would lead me there.

And He did. Read Ty’s whole story at LDS Living here. His wife, Danielle, also shares her side of their story.

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Last night as part of our Family Home Evening, (and at my children’s request), we watched this video (again) about the power of sexual purity. And once again, we felt God’s Spirit testify to us of the power of sexual purity — both sexual abstinence before marriage and complete fidelity within marriage. We love this video showing young adults from six different religions testifying to the power of sexual purity.

I have been so grateful to run into many religious websites championing sexual purity for youth and adults alike. Last week, I attended part of a filming of a documentary where married Christians who had faced and overcome pornography addiction also talked about the power of purity in marriage. As Jesus said, truth can set us free. I think this sexual chastity and purity is powerful, freeing truth.

How do you talk about sexual purity with your children? We’re gathering Pins on our Pinterest board on this topic, on teaching and upholding principles of sexual purity. Let us know if you have a good post on the topic, and we’ll give it a look!

The post The Power of Sexual Purity – A belief shared across religions appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men [and women] to do nothing.” -Edmund Burke

Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity did it again. She wrote another home-run post (Pornography: Satan’s Power Tool) that I hope you’ll take a minute to read. She has numerous links and quotes, and one of my favorite parts of her post is her bold invitations to women, mothers, and wives (as well as resources for wives of men who are currently struggling with addiction). She writes with both charity and clarity.

Stephanie quotes from a BYU Women’s Conference talk Julie B. Beck gave — one that is on my mind and the mind of many other Mormon women I  have talked to.

We have a huge problem in our families with pornography and the influence that it is having in our families. The powerful feeling that has been coming over me is, “Sisters, fight—fight, sisters.”You have the responsibility in your homes. Many of our women are being drawn into this behavior also. At our last general conference, President Thomas S. Monson gave “a word of caution to all—both young and old, both male and female.” This is our responsibility. [emphasis from Stephanie]

Stephanie continues:

When I heard her say this, I felt the Holy Ghost.  This is part of our call as “lionesses at the gate” of our homes.  Even with our best efforts, this plague can affect our families, but it must be in spite of our best efforts.  The danger is too great to be ignored.

There are many dangers around us today that require our best efforts. There are things we can do in our homes, our churches, our communities, our networks of friends and family. We can seek personal inspiration from God about how we might use our skills and talents, our passions and abilities, and great tools like social media (or just a simple snail-mail letter) to do some good.

So what can we do? I have been taking notice of what various Mormon women are up to, how they are taking a stand in their own way, and in their own circles of influence. I wanted to share a few of those things with you. [Edit: I’m going to keep adding to this list as I find more examples of women taking a stand. Help me add to it in the comments below!]

– Jocelyn has created and shared a beautiful Family Home Evening idea for young children: “God Gave You a Body” (she covers modesty, awareness about inappropriate touching (sexual abuse prevention ideas for young children), avoiding inappropriate media, and more — all in an age-appropriate way, all in ways that teach the powerful doctrine about the importance of our bodies in God’s plan)

– A college student (quoted in Stephanie’s post), wrote an article about the plague of pornography, to help people to be aware of how rampant the problem is.

– My friend has helped create an anti-pornography campaign in the parent-teacher association in her school.

– A Mormon woman is working on a new film for Christians to shed more light on pornography addiction, hoping to help reduce fear and shame associated with talking about it, with the hopes that more people can find healing. (If you are a Christian and have walked the path of addiction recovery and are willing to share your story, please let them know.)

– We’ve already featured the women at Beauty Redefined, who are trying to help people be more aware of how the media distorts truth about women and their bodies, and normalizes pornography. They encourage people to not only be educated, but also to speak up when companies participate in the sexualization/objectification of women. Other organizations out there are doing similar things if this is something that strikes a chord with you.

– We’ve also mentioned the desire Elise at MMB has to help bring hope to people personally affected by pornography use. She wrote a post this week.

– Voices for Virtue (which was started with one  Mormon woman’s idea, and is now 72,000 people strong) is a Facebook organization that has the focus of helping youth and young adults stay spiritually strong and sexually pure, and to get connect with others who are working toward the same goal. It’s also a place where those struggling can ask questions and get input from others. This month is “gold ribbon” month, with webcasts on various topics related to dating, chastity, and choices.

– A Mormon young woman took on a project to help organize a supply of modest prom dresses for young women in her community. (I love how she also has helped girls not have to spend large sums of money for a new prom dress!)

– BYU Women’s Services has held a 5K against abuse and pornography. (They are also doing a boatload of other awesome things. Take a look!)

– Emily at The Lioness at the Gate wrote a post about preparing ourselves and our families against the storm.

– Relief Society Lesson on Pornography by Megan Hanks

I know this doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of what good people are doing. What else have you seen people doing to take a stand for virtue? What can you do – in your own home, in your community, with your passions and talents and resources? How can you join the many others raising their voices to uphold moral values? Share your ideas here. Share links to what others are doing, too, including what other denominations and organizations are doing to take a stand.

I echo Stephanie’s words:

I just want to conclude with something else I know to be true.  Satan is powerful, but goodness is more powerful.  We have the power within us to withstand temptation and fight against evil.  We do.  So though the storm rages and the sledgehammer swings down upon us, the rock of our Redeemer will help us to stand.  [Women, and men], unite!

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As was recently explored in a talk/post written by Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that virtue = power. When we talk about virtue, a key part of it means sexual purity, but it can also include other facets of pure, true, clean living. When virtue is part of who we are, how we think, what we choose to do, it can allow us to feel God’s power and presence in our lives, have clear minds free from addiction or unhealthy preoccupation with pornography, vulgarity, violence, or harmful substances, have the potential for healthier relationships, and feel the peace of taking a stand for goodness.

A Facebook group called Voices for Virtue (over 72,000 people strong), is rallying for virtue this month, inviting others to join in with them in the effort. There will be four webcasts as part of this rally for virtue, featuring speakers Elaine Dalton, Brad Wilcox, John Hilton, and (TODAY), Dr. Thomas Holman, who will be speaking on Dating, Relating, and Marriage.

For more information, check out this Facebook announcement, and join Voices for Virtue on Facebook.

Voices for Virtue is not affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They welcome people of all faiths and walks of life, with a particular focus on youth and young adults (but all age groups on Facebook are welcome). 

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The post Sexual Purity / Abstinence – A standard across faiths appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

The moral standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are high. We believe in abstinence before marriage and complete fidelity after. Sexual purity is a big deal.

In a world where sexuality is treated more like a right than a responsibility, teaching and encouraging chastity can be a real challenge. And often, youth will then wonder, “How far can we go before we have done something wrong?”

This video, created by Mormon Messages for Youth, addresses that question in a creative way, helping youth think carefully and prayerfully about how to avoid sexual sin.

I like how much of the video focuses on taking the specific counsel from prophets of God, and then leaning on God for guidance and help in setting and committing to personal moral standards.

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