There is a story in the Book of Mormon about a man named Alma. He his friends (sons of a prophet-king named Mosiah) went around trying to dissuade people from believing in God.

They were not unlike Saul in the New Testament, both in terms of what their life’s work was for quite a while (working against the work of God), and also in terms of external events that helped them turn their lives around.

But it wasn’t the heavenly visitation of the Lord or an angel that really helped Paul become a disciple of Christ, or helped Alma and the sons of Mosiah become ambassadors for God. It was a change of heart brought about because of the acceptance of the grace of Jesus Christ and choosing a changed life.

One way we know this is because there were plenty of people in the New Testament who interacted face-to-face with Jesus Himself and were not converted to Him. There are many in the Bible who professed to believe in God but did not follow His ways. Likewise, in the Book of Mormon, there is a story of an angel appearing and not making a difference in people’s lives (two other sons of a prophet, Laman and Lemuel, who never fully got their hearts into following God and ended up at war with those who did…a war that lasted for generations).

We don’t need heavenly messengers to invite us to change. We can invite Jesus into our lives and hearts. “Angels” extending such an invitation (or reminding us of the invitation we’ve already sought to accept) can be people in our lives, or words in scripture coming alive through God’s Spirit, or missionaries sharing the message of mercy available to us all through Jesus Christ, or music touching our heart, or a show like The Chosen giving us a live-action view of what it could have been like to walk with Jesus when He was on earth.

Here is an example of such a story of a simple invitation. The story was shared by a sister missionary serving in the southeast area of the United States. (The man in the story gave permission for the missionary to share his story, but here we will keep his name confidential.)

This missionary and her companion visited with a man who is awaiting trial for a crime. His mind was very weighed down with everything going on and he expressed a desire to make better decisions in his life.

One of the sister missionaries shared Alma’s story in Alma 36. This story helped him feel hope that because of Jesus Christ, he can change. (See also the words in vs. 19 not circled here.)

This story stood out to me all the more so because I recently had two young men about to start their missions (angels in my own life) invite me to read these same verses on a weekend when my mind was weighed down with worry and weariness. I was raised reading the Book of Mormon, but I still felt like God was reaching out to me through this invitation to re-read these verses.

Alma went from a harrowed-up mind to a mind filled with joy. What was the difference? Turning his mind and heart to Jesus Christ. Remembering what his father Alma had taught about Jesus Christ. Allowing the love of Jesus Christ to enter into his mind and heart.

And once he had tasted of this joy, Alma “labored without ceasing” to share that joy in Jesus with others.

24 Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto ^arepentance; that I might bring them to ^btaste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste; that they might also be ^cborn of God, and be ^dfilled with the Holy Ghost.

There are myriad stories like this in the scriptures. The woman at the well from John 4 in the New Testament is another that comes to mind. She sat with Jesus while He told her about the sins in her life. As He did, she opened her mind and heart to the reality that He was the long-awaited Messiah. And then she left her pot and went to share the glad news with those in her circles.

I’ve been raised on the teachings of Jesus, but I need reminders to keep turning my mind and heart to Him. My mind is all-too-easily weighed down.

Writing is one way I seek to remember.

Pondering all of this also reminds me of a video that was made a few years ago for Easter. It talks about second chances, clean slates, new beginnings. Here’s the link to that video, or it is embedded below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGCbMEmpY4g

There’s a saying that the past is a good predictor of the future. But when a person involves Jesus Christ in his or her or their life, this little saying goes out the window. Those who understand how humans can change (practicing a different focus on the present as a way to be released from the bondage of the past) understand this principle, even when they don’t fully understand (or at least don’t openly teach) that Jesus Christ is the One who makes such change possible. (I’m thinking, for example, of a saying from Eckhardt Tolle written on my mirror: “The past cannot prevail against the power of the now.” (from his book, The Power of Now.) The truth that change is possible is everywhere, in leadership trainings and spiritual movements.

The reason it is possible is because of what Jesus Christ did for us and because of the divinity within us as children of God.

Here’s to new beginnings each day because of the reality of God and Jesus Christ.

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Our son recently lost three teeth in three days! Those new gaps can be challenging, although so can trying to eat when they’re loose. 🙂

If you get a tooth knocked out accidentally or have one pulled before a new one is ready to fill its place, the dentist often puts in what is called a spacer. It holds the teeth on either side of the hole in place until that new tooth comes in.

And for other problems, there are braces and retainers to help move, correct, and hold teeth in place. These measures may involve pulling teeth and uncomfortable wire/diet adjustments.

All of these efforts take work and patience, and all of these situations require an adjustment period as you get used to the way your “new” mouth works and feels. But each correction is made with the goal of a more beautiful you in the future.

Looking at my son’s gap-filled grin got me thinking about how we deal with other “holes” in our lives.

The process of learning about and trying to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ includes finding there are things we need to “pull out” of our lives. Step by step, we strive to eliminate behaviors and habits that are not in harmony with the teachings of the Savior (anger, unkindness, addictive substances or behaviors, immorality, etc.). This enables us to better live the teachings of our Savior Jesus Christ of loving, forgiving, serving, obeying and learning.

As we are making these changes, though, there is a gap created in our lives—a space that needs a “spacer” to keep those old habits from returning, to overcome former desires, and to enable us put positive things in their place. And just as with fixing teeth there is an adjustment period as we get used to our new life.

For example, Elder Boyd K. Packer counseled:

If you can control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. If you can learn to master them you will have a happy life.

This is what I would teach you. Choose… a favorite hymn [or song], one with words that are uplifting and music that is reverent, one that makes you feel something akin to inspiration. … Go over it in your mind carefully. Memorize it. Even though you have had no musical training, you can think through a hymn.

Now, use this hymn as the place for your thoughts to go. Make it your emergency channel. Whenever you find these [inappropriate thoughts] have slipped …onto the stage of your mind, put on this record, as it were.

As the music begins and as the words form in your thoughts, the unworthy ones will slip shamefully away. It will change the whole mood on the stage of your mind. Because it is uplifting and clean, the baser thoughts will disappear. For while virtue, by choice, will not associate with filth, evil cannot tolerate the presence of light.

Once you learn to clear the stage of your mind from unworthy thoughts, keep it busy with learning worthwhile things. Change your environment so that you have things about you that will inspire good and uplifting thoughts. Keep busy with things that are righteous. (“Inspiring Music—Worthy Thoughts”)

Filling the time and space around us with uplifting activities, art, music, movies, books, hard work, etc. can help us keep our minds, hearts and hands filled with positive instead of negative – important when we’re trying to make a life change!

When we’re trying to replace more physical things, doing good physical things can help, too.

Hands once used to holding a cigarette can be instead used to hold a crochet hook and make washcloths for people in need, for example. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law and I spent hours one vacation crocheting washcloths for Humanitarian Services – it was an awesome feeling to complete even one washcloth (I think that’s all I did) and can imagine this could be meaningful for others as well.

Or how about putting those hands to work in family history research? A positive addiction! 🙂 Not only can one’s hands be busy, and one’s mind challenged, but one’s heart will be filled with love as well. And there can be help and encouragement of ancestors to strengthen resolve to leave old habits behind.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke of the need to stay away from the places, people, and things that tempt us and also talked of the importance of making new friends that will encourage us to stick to good habits. Taking daily walks with good friends can lift our spirits, busy our minds, and strengthen our bodies. It was amazing to me how uplifting a half-hour walk with my Visiting Teaching companion could be! We helped each other realize we weren’t alone in our desires to do better, and we always came away encouraged to face the day.

Regular exercise, service, scripture study, personal prayer, church attendance, and, when able, temple attendance — all of these things can help us fill the spaces in our lives to help the new practices become habits. As we seek the good, the Savior can change our hearts, and the old habits are forgotten. As we continue to do these things throughout our lives (and this is a life-long process!), we are better able to experience that “happy life” Elder Packer promised.

What are some favorite “spacers” that help fill “gaps” in your life with good?

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My name is Rachel and I am 27 years old. I was raised as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have been married for almost 8 years and I have four children, ages 6, 5, 2 and 1. If you do the math on that one, yes, I was 18 when I got married and 20 when baby number 1 came along. I graduated with my degree in English when I was six months pregnant with baby number 2. I grew up in Utah and after moving around a bit at the beginning of our marriage, we went back.

I am someone who struggles with change. I think I cried the whole way up to Idaho when I left for college. And then, four years later, when I moved away from Idaho, I cried as we left. Change and I are not friends.

About two years ago my husband finished school in Provo, Utah and got a job in Salt Lake City, about 30 miles north. The commute was too much and so we moved up to Salt Lake to be closer. While I was so excited to live in a bigger place, I was devastated to move away from the friends that I had made in our congregation (ward) in Provo. We had lived there for over two years and really had made ourselves at home.

Our first Sunday in our new home we headed to church. It was hard. It was the day after we had moved in. The house was still a mess of boxes and we were both exhausted. Emotions were close to the surface. I spent most of the service (sacrament meeting) in tears. I didn’t feel at home. I felt like a visitor and I already missed being surrounded by people that I knew and loved. By the end of it, I was ready to run home and throw myself on my bed for a good pity party.

The meeting ended and as we stood up to leave we were almost immediately surrounded. No less than five people had noticed that we were new. They all came over to introduce themselves, welcome us to the area and ask if there was anything that we needed. I had trouble fighting back even more tears, this time of gratitude. At that moment I knew that the Lord was aware of the prayer of my heart and had sent these wonderful people to make sure that I felt loved, even in an unfamiliar place.

This experience didn’t provide me instant friends. I still had to work for that. But it did offer me the peace that I so desperately needed that Sunday morning, as well as the confidence that I would get through this and make new friends and come to love my new ward as much as I had loved my previous one.

One thing I love about being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that opportunity to meet people that you might not typically meet and be a part of a ward family. I love the strength that it offers to be surrounded by other women struggling with some of the same challenges that I have. I love the feeling that I am not alone in my challenges and trials. And I love knowing that the Lord has provided these incredible friends, these Mormon women, to show me that he does love me and doesn’t want any of us to feel alone.

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While visiting with my friend, she asked me some questions regarding where I would attend church after moving to a nearby town.

Kathy: “So I hear you’re moving.”

Me: “Yep.”

Kathy: “That’s too bad.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I really loved living here.”

Kathy: “Mrs. P (our daughters’ kindergarden teacher, who happens to be LDS) said that when you move you’ll be attending church at her building instead of the Mormon church down the street.”

Me: “That’s right. There is another LDS meetinghouse closer to our new house so we’ll be going to church there from now on.”

Kathy: “But I heard your Dad is the bishop of the ward that meets at the building nearest us. Won’t that be hard to attend church in a new place without your family?”

Me: “Sure, I’ve grown up my entire life in this same ward. I love these people, my entire congregation, like they are family members.”

Kathy: “So why would you do that? Why can’t you just go to whatever church you want to?”

Me: “Well, there are a couple of reasons. First, in our church, the same doctrine is taught all over the world. So changing ward houses does not change what is taught in Sacrament meeting, Sunday School or Relief Society. My children will have the exact same lessons as well. Second, my Dad will not be the bishop forever. In our area, bishops only serve for 5 years or so and then another worthy man will be called to serve in his place.”

Kathy: “But if you love all the people in your congregation, why not just keep attending the ward with the people you grew up with regardless of where you live?”

Me: “Well, if everybody did that, there would be huge numbers of people attending the same congregation because it’s ‘fun’ or ‘comfortable’ there. By following the guide to attend our assigned ward we get to ‘lift where we stand‘ and learn to serve the people who live around us. I’m sure we’ll grow to love these new people as much as the old congregation. And if everyone follows this guide, then the entire church will be blessed for their faithfulness with the opportunity for service.”

I’ve lived in the same ward all of my life, so I had a tough transition moving out of my “home” ward. For six months I attended my old ward while living outside of the ward boundaries, but my husband and I never felt good about it. We finally decided to make the move spiritually as well as physically. Last week was our first week in our new ward. And guess what? We loved it.

After making that good decision, my husband read this Ensign article about a woman who was only going to live in a ward for three months and how she made the best of the three short months she was there. This article made him wish that we had made the decision to change wards even sooner. One thing we LDS people always say after attending church while traveling is “The church is true no matter where you go.” I guess that saying now rings true for me here, there and everywhere. Even when everywhere is just down the road.

**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” and (other content on this site) reflect the thoughts and perspectives of the administrators at Mormon Women. Although we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

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Hannah and Rob in front of the Frankfurt, Germany Temple

On Friday, my husband Rob and I are leaving Paris, where we have been living for three months. Rob has been busy working for an NGO (non-government organization) while I have been learning French and enjoying some time off before I start graduate school in the fall. As exciting as it sounds, moving to a different country is full of adjustments and ups and downs.

One major change was that we had just moved from Utah, where there are 13 active LDS temples, to France, where there are none. Depending on where you live in France, a visit to the temple can mean a trip of several hours, since the closest temples are in Germany, the Netherlands, Switzerland, and Spain. (The same can be said of other countries in which there are no temples. Rob grew up on a small island in the Pacific Ocean, and the closest temple is a 7-8 hour plane ride away in Hawaii.)

The temple is a place where members of the Church go to perform vicarious saving ordinances for those who have died, and this act of service has provided a great amount of comfort and relief for me in times of need. Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has described frequent temple worship as “the source and strength and power in times of need.” He said, “[W]hen we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously in order to maintain the blessings promised by those ordinances, then come what may, we have no reason to worry or to feel despondent.” (1)

We scheduled a trip to the Frankfurt Germany Temple in the middle of June, when we had been in Paris for just about six weeks. Some family friends of ours were kind enough to host us for the weekend at their house and to let us accompany them to their stake temple day. At the time I was struggling with the French language, the culture, the exchange rate, and being home alone all day while my husband was working. I couldn’t even understand the proceedings of our church meetings without Rob leaning over and telling me what was going on. In all aspects of my life I felt like I had hit a wall, and the world was still going about its business while I was stuck in my own world of self-pity. In short, I needed to reconnect with my spiritual self.

Sitting in the temple, surrounded by friends, my husband, and other members of the Church brought me such a warm feeling of peace and familiarity that I had been craving for so many weeks. I thought that our weekend visit to the temple was going to be the vacation from my so-called “problems” that I needed. In fact, being at the temple was an opportunity for me to learn what I needed to change in my life to feel better about my situation, a situation that would not be solved by sitting at home while eating spoonfuls of plain Nutella out of the jar.

I left Germany that weekend with a renewed desire to quit resisting and resenting change. (After all, this stage in my life marks the beginning of countless changes I’m going to be making.) More importantly, I also had a renewed desire to make my home a temple by making a bigger effort to invite the Spirit into our home, since I no longer had the luxury of driving the five minutes from our apartment to the Provo Temple. Almost every Sunday since we have been here, someone in our Paris ward has mentioned the importance of making our homes a temple because the prospect of a temple in France is still so far away. Who knows where life will take us next? I learned that I need to be prepared for any situation that puts us far away from easy temple access. Elder Gary E. Stevenson [a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy] said, “There exists a righteous unity between the temple and the home… Whether our living space is large or small, humble or extravagant, there is a place for… gospel priorities in each of our homes.” (2)

This small, seemingly unimportant trial that passed as quickly as it came was an important lesson for me: that “you are never lost when you can see the temple,” (3) no matter what country it is in.

1) Elder Richard G. Scott, “Temple Worship: The Source of Strength and Power in Times of Need,” May 2009 Ensign
2) Elder Gary E. Stevenson, “Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples,” May 2009 Ensign
3) Elder Gary E. Stevenson, “Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples,” May 2009 Ensign

While living in Europe, Hannah visited two other Latter Day Saints meetinghouses, pictured below.

These pictures are of the Hyde Park LDS meetinghouse in London, England.

And this picture is from an LDS ward building in Bayonne, France.

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Something happened yesterday that reminded me that God watches out for me. I was reading books with my son at the library (I don’t go to the library very often). After about 45 minutes we walked up to the desk to check out the books we had chosen. There was a woman standing at the desk asking about library cards, and she looked really familiar to me. I was pretty sure I knew her from my previous hometown, in another state. After I was finished checking out my books, we walked out of the library at the same time, and I asked her, “Who are you?” (Yes, kind of uncouth, but I needed to know who she was.) She said, “Emily.” I said, “I KNOW you! What are you doing here in this state?” She said, “My husband got an internship nearby and we will be here for the summer.”

Now let me back up a bit. We only lived in the previous location for a year, but it was a wonderful year. Everyone at church was so welcoming and kind. We loved the town. We grew up a little bit there because we had no family to rely on, but our ward became our family. We miss our friends. We miss our ward. We miss a lot about that town. When we moved to our current home, I had a really hard time at first because I missed so much about our wonderful year, our wonderful town.

Emily and her husband Pete were in our previous ward. Her husband was my son’s nursery teacher (and he was awesome). Emily was in the Primary presidency, and I was in the Young Women’s presidency, so we didn’t get many opportunities to get to know each other. When she found out she was moving for the summer, some people in the ward told her to call me, but she said, “Erin and I didn’t get to talk much. She wouldn’t even know who I was if I called her.”

Since they are only going to be here for three months, they found a place that has cheap rent on a month to month contract, and is furnished. But it is in kind of a questionable area. They only got here on Wednesday night, and they are already having concerns with where they live. Emily was just hoping she could find a stay-at-home mom that she could hang out with over the summer, because her husband will be gone a lot (and they have a five-month-old baby boy).

I love how God put us both at the library at the exact same time, less than 48 hours after Pete & Emily moved here. I love how God knew that Emily would need me this summer, because she has no family here and she would likely be lonely. I love how God knew that bringing Emily into my life right now would be like bringing a little piece of our little town back to me for a moment. And now I have the chance to build a new friendship with someone, which I always love. So thank you, God, for reminding me that you care about me and that you watch out for all of us.

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