What would life be like had the Savior not been born?

“Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and you cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.

“When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the ‘uttermost farthing,’ the law of restitution is suspended. Your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts.

“[T]here is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the atonement of Christ.”

~Boyd K. Packer

“Life is a school, a place for us to learn and grow. We, like Adam and Eve, experience “growing pains” through the sorrow and contamination of a lone and dreary world. These experiences may include sin, but they also include mistakes, disappointments, and the undeserved pain of adversity. The blessed news of the gospel is that the atonement of Jesus Christ can purify all the uncleanness and sweeten all the bitterness we taste.”

~Bruce C. Hafen

“We need not look upon death as an enemy. With full understanding and preparation, faith supplants fear. Hope displaces despair. The Lord said, “Fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.” (D&C 101:36.) He bestowed this gift: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)”

~Russell M. Nelson

“[T]he Savior’s grace can bless us, beyond its compensation for our sins, in our quest for divine perfection. While much of the perfection process involves a healing from sin and bitterness, the process involves an additional, affirmative dimension through which we may acquire a Christlike nature, becoming even as the Father and Son are.”

~Bruce C. Hafen

“It is the Atonement of Jesus Christ that provides both a cleansing and redeeming power that helps us to overcome sin and a sanctifying and strengthening power that helps us to become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us.”

~David A. Bednar

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Our son recently lost three teeth in three days! Those new gaps can be challenging, although so can trying to eat when they’re loose. 🙂

If you get a tooth knocked out accidentally or have one pulled before a new one is ready to fill its place, the dentist often puts in what is called a spacer. It holds the teeth on either side of the hole in place until that new tooth comes in.

And for other problems, there are braces and retainers to help move, correct, and hold teeth in place. These measures may involve pulling teeth and uncomfortable wire/diet adjustments.

All of these efforts take work and patience, and all of these situations require an adjustment period as you get used to the way your “new” mouth works and feels. But each correction is made with the goal of a more beautiful you in the future.

Looking at my son’s gap-filled grin got me thinking about how we deal with other “holes” in our lives.

The process of learning about and trying to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ includes finding there are things we need to “pull out” of our lives. Step by step, we strive to eliminate behaviors and habits that are not in harmony with the teachings of the Savior (anger, unkindness, addictive substances or behaviors, immorality, etc.). This enables us to better live the teachings of our Savior Jesus Christ of loving, forgiving, serving, obeying and learning.

As we are making these changes, though, there is a gap created in our lives—a space that needs a “spacer” to keep those old habits from returning, to overcome former desires, and to enable us put positive things in their place. And just as with fixing teeth there is an adjustment period as we get used to our new life.

For example, Elder Boyd K. Packer counseled:

If you can control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. If you can learn to master them you will have a happy life.

This is what I would teach you. Choose… a favorite hymn [or song], one with words that are uplifting and music that is reverent, one that makes you feel something akin to inspiration. … Go over it in your mind carefully. Memorize it. Even though you have had no musical training, you can think through a hymn.

Now, use this hymn as the place for your thoughts to go. Make it your emergency channel. Whenever you find these [inappropriate thoughts] have slipped …onto the stage of your mind, put on this record, as it were.

As the music begins and as the words form in your thoughts, the unworthy ones will slip shamefully away. It will change the whole mood on the stage of your mind. Because it is uplifting and clean, the baser thoughts will disappear. For while virtue, by choice, will not associate with filth, evil cannot tolerate the presence of light.

Once you learn to clear the stage of your mind from unworthy thoughts, keep it busy with learning worthwhile things. Change your environment so that you have things about you that will inspire good and uplifting thoughts. Keep busy with things that are righteous. (“Inspiring Music—Worthy Thoughts”)

Filling the time and space around us with uplifting activities, art, music, movies, books, hard work, etc. can help us keep our minds, hearts and hands filled with positive instead of negative – important when we’re trying to make a life change!

When we’re trying to replace more physical things, doing good physical things can help, too.

Hands once used to holding a cigarette can be instead used to hold a crochet hook and make washcloths for people in need, for example. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law and I spent hours one vacation crocheting washcloths for Humanitarian Services – it was an awesome feeling to complete even one washcloth (I think that’s all I did) and can imagine this could be meaningful for others as well.

Or how about putting those hands to work in family history research? A positive addiction! 🙂 Not only can one’s hands be busy, and one’s mind challenged, but one’s heart will be filled with love as well. And there can be help and encouragement of ancestors to strengthen resolve to leave old habits behind.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke of the need to stay away from the places, people, and things that tempt us and also talked of the importance of making new friends that will encourage us to stick to good habits. Taking daily walks with good friends can lift our spirits, busy our minds, and strengthen our bodies. It was amazing to me how uplifting a half-hour walk with my Visiting Teaching companion could be! We helped each other realize we weren’t alone in our desires to do better, and we always came away encouraged to face the day.

Regular exercise, service, scripture study, personal prayer, church attendance, and, when able, temple attendance — all of these things can help us fill the spaces in our lives to help the new practices become habits. As we seek the good, the Savior can change our hearts, and the old habits are forgotten. As we continue to do these things throughout our lives (and this is a life-long process!), we are better able to experience that “happy life” Elder Packer promised.

What are some favorite “spacers” that help fill “gaps” in your life with good?

The post Filling in the Gaps: Repenting, Changing, Improving appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

My name is Behka and I have been happily married to my husband for almost 13 years. Yikes! That sounds like such a long time! I have 7 children, but 2 of my sons passed away as infants to a rare genetic disease. My husband and I are carriers of the disease, so we like to refer to ourselves as ‘genetic mutants.’ So we are raising 5 children ages: 12, 10, 8, 4, and 7 months. And still hoping for more!

I was born and raised LDS, so I was baptized when I was 8 years old. I am from Auburn, WA, just outside of Seattle. Right now I live in Utah. I am in the business of motherhood – and have been for 12 years now. I love it! It’s the only career I have ever wanted. It is so fun watching these sweet children grow up. I promise it does get easier as they get older! In church, I serve as the 2nd counselor in the Stake Young Women’s organization, and it has been by far my favorite calling yet.

I live close to other LDS people, and every Tuesday and Thursday mornings I get together at one of our church buildings with other women and we play basketball. Most of us there have played college ball, so it is very competitive and very fun. We all bring our kids that aren’t school aged yet and they play together while we play. I have also found that as my children get older, whatever they are doing becomes my current hobby – I can’t count the number of basketball, volleyball and soccer games I have watched, cheered at, and coached the past year. I will never get tired of watching my kids play. I also enjoy running, reading, hiking with my husband, and spending time with the family.

I have always known that God is real and that Jesus Christ is His son. I have had many experiences in my life that have strengthened this testimony. The most powerful experience I had was when my second son was dying. I think it is in the most difficult circumstances that Jesus Christ is able to come to us and strengthen us because we realize that we cannot cope on our own, and so He can show Himself to us in an undeniable way. I would like to share a journal entry about this experience. To preface this, we brought our son Josiah home from the hospital on hospice care when he was almost 5 weeks old. They told us he wouldn’t survive the 1-hour car ride home, but I didn’t think it was his time yet. We got to spend 10 extra precious days with him. It was wonderful, but it was still very hard. Here goes:

There is a certain amount of energy required to prepare yourself for the death of your child. It is the most humbling experience to pray to Heavenly Father and tell him it is ok to take back His precious one. You have to give everything you are to Heavenly Father, to align your will with His, because accepting the inevitable death of one so dear is against all natural instincts of a parent. We want to fight it, to do something to make it all better. The times we thought Josiah was going to die and didn’t, proved to be the most exhausting experiences of my life. Partly because of the anguish associated with death, partly because of the spiritual exercise of stripping myself of all pride and selfishness, partly because recognizing if now wasn’t the time, it would be soon enough, and the stress of carrying on in life while death is knocking at the door is excruciating.

The Tuesday night before Josiah died was the worst of all, but was also the turning point in my true acceptance of God’s will. As I lay in bed watching Josiah’s ribs exposed and listening to the crackle of his lungs each time he struggled for a breath, I couldn’t contain my tears. Why does one so innocent and pure need to suffer so? His frail lungs weren’t strong enough to fight off the pneumonia. He wasn’t going to get better this time. I knelt down and from the depths of sorrow and despair I cried to my Heavenly Father. I was painfully aware of my weakness and inadequacy. I didn’t feel equal to the task of watching by as my baby son suffered bitterly, fighting just for breath. I didn’t feel equal to the task of losing him, either. I painfully realized that the only way his suffering would end would be for him to be free from his body. Each realization and admission stripped off the layers of my natural man, one by one, exposing my bare, broken soul. I knelt in a crumpled heap of darkness. In this moment of desperation, I gave everything I could to Heavenly Father. I even gave up my favorite sin of omission and covenanted that it would be a strength from now on, pleading with Heavenly Father that He would comfort Josiah and stop his suffering, knowing what that meant. The despair of death was overwhelming. I closed my prayer. “I lay this burden at Thy feet and pray thy will be done. In life or in death, Thy will be done. I pray for strength to go on, either way.” I climbed back into bed and pulled my son close as sleep overcame my exhausted body.

As it always happens, even after the darkest of nights the sun rises every morning, bringing light and hope of a new day. I sincerely didn’t think Josiah would be with us when I woke up, but he was. Peace and confidence surrounded me. Death still loomed near, but it was no longer a blackness of despair. The stress, strain, and despair were gone. I had given my broken heart to Heavenly Father and the Atonement of Jesus Christ bound it up and gave me strength and courage to go on. ‘I can do this,’, I thought, “I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me.” I would care for Josiah until his life’s mission is complete and then I would cope with his death because I had the strength of Christ in me. I had looked death in the eye and no longer feared it; let it come when it may. For the first time since his first surgery, I was able to enjoy Josiah living without fear of him dying. Time is such a sweet and precious gift.

I am so thankful I was prepared for Josiah’s death. Through the process of aligning my will with God’s, my natural self felt peace and my spirit was able to recognize spiritual things. If I was still afraid of his death and holding on to Josiah’s life, I may have missed one of the most cherished experiences of my life as he passed away.

I know that Jesus Christ lives because every time my heart has been broken, through disappointment, despair, sin, or whatever, I have prayed to my Heavenly Father that my heart will be healed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and I have been healed. There is no power of man that can do this. It is only through the power of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I have learned that it is possible to be HAPPY amidst the difficulty of life. Being a Mormon Woman does not mean I enjoy a life of ease and simplicity. But I love my life, with all the adventure and demands of a family, and I am happy!
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We do. But not in the way it is sometimes described.

The idea of simply acknowledging Jesus Christ as one’s Savior is sometimes seen as enough to be “saved” in the Kingdom of God. Paul, in Acts 16:30-31, tells a man, who has asked what to do to be saved:

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

Sounds simple, right? And yet, there is so much more. If we read in James 2, we learn that we cannot be saved through faith alone:

Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone…But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?

So, where is the line? Mormons believe it is found through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Grace is defined as “the help or strength given through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” This help or strength can be accessed in our lives now, and is necessary for any eternal blessings we can and will receive. For example, it is through the Atonement of Christ that we will all be resurrected, having our spirits reunited with a body that will be immortal, never to die again. In that sense, we will all be saved from physical death. Resurrection, the gift of immortality, is a gift freely given through the Savior’s Atonement and grace.

We can also be saved from sin (which we sometimes call spiritual death) through the Atonement of Christ, but this element of “being saved” requires us to do something. All sin must be paid for in order to make the blessing of eternal life — the highest blessing we can receive from God — possible. Eternal life is reserved for those who overcome spiritual death by obeying the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Savior has suffered for our sins; He has made it possible for us to partake of mercy. But justice cannot be satisfied by the Savior if we don’t do our part. Simply put, we can’t rely only on grace. God has given laws and ordinances that we are asked to accept and obey to fully access the cleansing, enabling power of the Savior’s Atonement and His mercy and grace.

What does He ask of us? Christ asks us to have faith in Him and believe, but then He asks us to repent of our sins, and enter into covenants through authorized priesthood ordinances. We need to strive to live as He lived — to forgive, live a charitable life, keep God’s commandments, follow Christ’s teachings. Then,  after we have done everything we can — knowing full well that we will come up short, since we are mortal, imperfect, and in need of intercession — Christ’s Atonement will make up the difference. Our works aren’t a matter of trying to be perfect through action; they are more of a matter of having a willing heart and trying our best. As we choose to give our heart to Him, even as we stumble and fail at times, God promises to keep us clean from sin, and to also help change our hearts through the Atonement, enabling us through grace to be more like Him.

I often tell my piano students that anything worth having in this life (or the next!) takes hard work. It truly does! Think about it for a moment. In order to get good grades in school, it takes study, preparation, and diligence. If one wants to become proficient at playing a sport, they must take care of their bodies, attend practices, get along well with teammates, and be on time! To learn a musical instrument, it takes dedication and lots (and lots and lots and lots) of practice. The same goes for relationships: marriage takes work. Being a good parent takes work. All of these things take work –but they are all worth it. The payoff comes in scholarships to college, athletic ability, the joy of being able to perform and share music, fulfilling/meaningful relationships.

Progression toward eternal life also requires hard work and practice. It takes dedication to covenants and endurance through trials. We call this enduring to the end. And even though hard work alone won’t save us, doing what God has commanded to come to Christ (faith, repentance, baptism by water and by fire, obedience to commandments, Christlike living) brings great blessings available through the grace of the Atonement. We can have comfort and peace, knowledge and strength — and in the end, we can have the most glorious reward there is: exaltation, or life with God forever in eternal families.

It is my belief and sincere testimony that Jesus Christ knows and loves us –and loves us enough to know what we need in order fully access His grace. Accepting Him is vitally important, yes; but we also are invited to demonstrate our devotion to Him and to Heavenly Father by how we live our lives —by our works and desires.

The following is a fabulous video that came to mind as I was pondering this topic; to me, it gives a better understanding of how the Atonement of Jesus Christ works in our lives.

**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” and (other content on this site) reflect the thoughts and perspectives of the administrators at Mormon Women. Although we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

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My name is Rebekah, and I am a Mormon Woman.

I have been married for just over a year. I was married to my husband in the Atlanta, Georgia LDS Temple, and we do not, yet, have any children. I was born into a Latter-day Saint family, and was baptized at the age of eight. My mom is a convert; missionaries from the Church taught her family while they were living in Puerto Rico and she was baptized at the age of 16, along with her mother, brother, and sisters. My Dad was born to LDS parents, who were converted and baptized into the church just before he was born.

I am currently a student attending BYU-Idaho, although I grew up in Tennessee. I am majoring in Communications, with minors in Photography and Humanities. In the Church, I am currently serving as a Family Home Evening Group Leader (in our area, young, married couples get together on Monday nights once a month to share a gospel message and get to know each other through games and activities). I am also serving on the Home, Family, and Personal Enrichment Board, helping to put together enriching activities for the women in our Relief Society.

I enjoy the outdoors more than most anything else: I love hiking, camping, rock climbing, repelling, and swimming. Some of my hobbies include writing and photography. I am currently taking piano classes and trying to develop my musical talent and I also love to dance!

When I was in high school, I was one of only a few LDS kids at my school. I was a cheerleader and had a lot of really wonderful friends. However, it was often a struggle for me to have friends and keep my standards at the same time. I didn’t drink or smoke or do much of what was often happening around me. I didn’t want to attend most of the parties, and felt a little alienated from some of my friends because I just didn’t want to participate. I felt different. But, I could feel what my parents and church leaders were teaching me was right, and I held onto it. It wasn’t until after high school that I realized what a blessing these standards were in my life! Although I wasn’t perfect, and made plenty of mistakes, the things that my family and church leaders had taught me kept me clean, healthy, and happy. It also allowed me to have the knowledge of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, so that I could repent and start fresh when I slipped up. I now feel that I have lived wisely and without regret. It is a joyful way of life.

I love the joy that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings. Being a Mormon Woman blesses my marriage and keeps it strong. It gives me guidance as to how to live a happy, healthy, and productive life. Most of all, it teaches me to progress daily and provides a way for me to repent and grow closer to my Savior. Being a Mormon woman teaches me of my identity as a child of God and gives direction as to what this life is all about and what I should be doing here to get back to my Heavenly Father with my family some day.

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Sister Roundy was a pageant competitor and won the Miss Outstanding Teen Pageant in her county. She is the youngest of five children and has four older brothers. Her dad is a retired math teacher and her mom works at the Elementary school in her town. Sister Roundy has 15 nieces and nephews and was quick to point out there is another on their way. It was clear in talking with her that she loves her family.

Sister Roundy has been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints since her baptism at the age of 8. When asked about her feelings about the Church, she said:

“There were times all throughout my life after I had been baptized when I knew the church was true. But one experience that impacted me the most was when I was 19 years old and was enrolled in an Institute class called ‘Atonement, Repentance and Forgiveness.’ As part of the lesson material our instructor had us study Matthew 11:28-30 which reads:

Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give ye rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

At that moment I personally understood my relationship with the Savior. I understood how the Atonement works. It provides us rest, not only from our sorrows, but from guilt and pain. I think that experience changed my attitude. It made me a lot more optimistic.”

At the time of this interview, Sister Roundy had only been on her mission a few weeks. She felt that in that time she had already received a great blessing. “The fact that I have been given the gift of tongues and I know it is a great blessing to me. In just a few weeks of training at the MTC [Missionary Training Center] I can communicate in Spanish and understand what is going on. I know that is through the Spirit. It is nice to bear my testimony in Spanish after only weeks of training. It is a miracle.”

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Our individual experiences may not always be unique, but they are always authentic. God will even take into account our perceptions of, as well as our responses to, our trials. For those of us who do not, for instance, find claustrophobia a challenge, it is difficult to measure the terror that comes to those for whom it is such a challenge. Thus, a friend may seem to struggle unnecessarily long before finally prevailing with regard to a particular principle of the gospel. But for that individual, the struggle was real enough! We need, particularly, to understand with kindness those who are asked to go out to do battle again on a familiar field–on the very battleground where they have already suffered defeat several times. Yet some of our most difficult victories will occur on new terrain–like Joseph’s in Egypt–when we do not have the equivalent of a “home court” advantage.

We must remember that, while the Lord reminded the Prophet Joseph Smith that he had not yet suffered as Job, only the Lord can compare crosses!”

-Neal A. Maxwell, “Taking up the Cross,” Fireside, 4 January 1976 (emphasis in original) (http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=6139&x=71&y=9)

I love this reminder to be more gentle–not just with others, but also with myself. It’s so easy to be hard on other people when they just don’t seem to “get it” with regard to a certain gospel principle or practice, so it is important to remember that we can never know the full scope of the personal challenges they face. I am really grateful that it is not my job to make those comparisons and judgments–I will gladly leave that to the Lord!

As hard as we are on other people, I think often we are the most critical of ourselves. Honest self-evaluation, with the Lord’s help, is a key piece of repentance and growth, but that self-appraisal should not come at the expense of our own sense of worth and identity as beloved daughters of God–loved beyond measure even in our imperfect state.

Elder Maxwell’s imagery of the battlefield reminds me of another passage I love, from C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity:

Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.

I know I don’t always recognize the progress I’m making, so I really like this perspective on how the little things I do can add up to big gospel victories. And in the frustratingly common times I fall short, I’m grateful for repentance, and how the Atonement helps me hold the ground I might otherwise have lost.

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