“Faith. is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” Alma 32:21

~by Jen H.

I remember being a little girl, sprawled out on our trampoline, on a warm breezy summer day. Hands folded behind my messy blond tangled hair, long and lanky legs crossed clumsily, watching the clouds revolve like waves in the blue sky, wondering about the mysteries of our existence. It seemed unfathomable. Still does.  The world, space and the vast universe, how’d it all start? What was the very VERY beginning? I remember talking to my older brother about what our very first question we’d ask our Heavenly Father would be when we reunite again. Too complex a thought then, and seemingly too complex even for me now but certainly intriguing and exciting to ponder. As I have grown and matured both emotionally and spiritually, I have come to appreciate that not all things will be made known unto men (or women) in this life and that is OK.

I was born and raised in the Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) but it wasn’t until I neared adulthood that I came to an sincere understanding of what my strengths and limitations were in regards to my faith. What “I” believed and why, needed some filtering and refining as I entered into the sojourn passage of early  adulthood and independent thinking.  One of my favorite quotes is from CS Lewis (written in A Grief Observed)

“It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by the rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?…. Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.”

This quote has meant a great deal to me throughout my life. Beginning in my early childhood our family endured many hardships; divorce and death of a parent to name a few. As a result, those trials required me voluntarily to hang over the “precipices” of life so to speak and believe in, to be strengthened by something that I knew was there, but could not prove. The unrestrained love and sustaining support of my Heavenly Father, I knew was there but it was those times of trials and risks, that his presence was irrefutable.

Later in life, trials did not cease to blow my direction. I began early adulthood life by marrying the wrong man and though only married for a short time, endured with great difficulty some very painful things. Again, I was being swung out over the harrowing abyss of life’s challenges, in part as a consequence of some decisions I had made, but in a larger part, as a result of someone else’s. I clung (metaphorically speaking) to those ropes of faith, prayed it would be strong enough to hold me. I strived for exact obedience in my actions and I took a deep breath, knowing that was (really) the only right choice I had. The alternative would have been to panic in fear and despair and potentially loose everything important to me by letting go. Thankfully I had enough FAITH in things I did not have full knowledge of or completely understand to hold on. I believed that eventually, if I hung onto the things I knew to be true, even without a full understanding, I’d eventually be on solid ground again. And I was.

Sure enough, those particular trails weakened, years passed by, I happily remarried and we now have 6 beautiful children.  But as could be predicted, new trials, of all different shapes and sizes seem to present themselves and yet despite all that, I have increasing confidence and respect for my rope of faith and the capacity I have, increasingly so, to endure hard things. Consequently, I take much greater care for its condition then previously because I know, though experience, it will save me when all else seems to have failed. Caring for my rope of faith means doing the things I know will make me happy. Having the foresight to recognize not only what will make me happy today but what will also bring happiness tomorrow. Living a life that will invite feelings of confidence in my personal gifts and abilities and more importantly in the feelings of abiding love I feel from my Savior.  THAT is strength. Being obedient to God laws and commandments, being the best person I know to be, to serve others and to strive daily in the pursuit of excellence, all of those faithful endeavors strengthen and nourish me to endure life’s difficult days, which will surely come. (See Alma 32)

So I no longer seek all the answers to my adolescent wonderings. I realized that I do not know or have the ability to understand much of God’s plan. I know that God does have a plan, from the beginning of time. I know that Jesus lives. Not because I have seen him but because he gave me a rope to hang on and proved to me through His strength (not my own) that he IS there. Just like I know the sun is hot. Why? Because I’ve been to the sun? No, because I just do. I can feel it. I do not require a full understanding as to why or how the suns heat can penetrate so many thousands of miles. I have faith that it does exist and for reasons I do not know.

I am very grateful for faith. The simplicity of my faith has saved me from hard things more than any other resource. I am grateful for my agency because it is through that, that I have chosen these good things. In the scriptures the question is presented, “what manner should we begin to exercise our faith”, later is reads “begin to believe” (see Alma 33). I love that. No matter where I am in life. Everyday, I can awake and begin to believe, again.

The post On Trials and Questions: A Rope of Faith appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“It is ‘life and the pursuit of happiness’ that ought to occupy the attention of all intellectual beings.”
Teachings of Presidents of the Church: John Taylor, 97

What Do Happy People Know?

~by Jen H.

In the header of our family’s blog, which we entitled “Happy Shining People,” is a quote from the prophet Joseph Smith that says “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God.” I genuinely believe that is the source of my own happiness in life. This idea about what happy people KNOW,  has been a thought I have pondered at great lengths the past few years and have decided to devote my upcoming Relief Society lesson to the topic.

In preparation for that lesson I decided to ask the question ” What do Happy People Know?” in a quest to learn more.  I began by asking some dear people in my life. Most of them have encountered severe trials in their lives and many even have faced tragedy head on, but somehow they have happiness written all over their countenance and disposition. Their comments and feedback have been enlightening and truly inspired.

We all have had experiences in life that sometimes feel like darkness is invading and there are few reasons to proclaim any amount of happiness and that there may be no end in sight. Some trials are overwhelming and greatly out of our control such as health issues that make it next to impossible to ooze the kind of happiness you’d like to. Depression, divorce,  addiction… many legitimate trials in life, that have the potential to strip us of hope and leave us feeling discouraged. It is hard at times to put on a happy face. I have had my fair share of those days, BUT I am convinced that a happy face does not always reflect happiness or the lack thereof.

Difficult times in my life have helped me understand how infinitely blessed we are and how rich and beautiful life is in every way. Underlining all those moments of struggle and hardship in my life, I have felt undeniable glimmers of deep happiness and joy, aiming to reflect a goodness that is not of this world.  I know that source comes from a power beyond my own, the nearer I draw myself to that feeling of goodness, the more I feel of it despite the challenges I face.

Recently one dear friend recounted a partial list of the challenges she has faced in life (it was a very heavy list I assure you) but one thing she stressed was that happiness was a choice and obedience is a choice. Though her hardships have been many she stated with confidence “you will not see me wearing my experiences.” I loved that thought and realized every time I wake up on the unpleasant side of the bed, I will remember that, I have a choice to wear my experiences or not. Being a mother and wife, I do have a great responsibility to those I love and others in my life to shine as much as I can but I also have a power bestowed in me that is not all mine and it is that I am a child of God. I KNOW I have a loving Heavenly Father who loves and understands me and knows my potential and he needs more people to rise above the dust and shine.

Another wise bit of advice this friend shared with me about happiness was something her stepfather would tell her when she was a teenager and not liking all the rules  “Ya got the same pants to get glad in, that you got mad in.”  meaning of course the choice was hers to work on the attitude. It is all a choice.

There is a profound difference between pleasure and happiness. “Pleasure is often confused with happiness but is by no means synonymous with it… Pleasure, unlike happiness, is that which pleases us or gives us gratification. Usually it endures for only a short time.” (James E. Faust, Ensign, Oct. 2000, 2.) If you were to reflect on the most happy person/people you know… what is it that brings them happiness? What is true happiness?  What do you KNOW about being happy? I do not imply secular, worldly happiness but the type of peaceful happiness that some have the gift of  communicating even amidst the hardest of times. I am fascinated in that ability and gift and am finding myself anxiously engaged in learning all I can from such people and their happy examples.  I know many genuinely happy people and for them I am so very grateful because of their influence in my life. I am continually inspired and uplifted to a higher place every time I encounter them.

The scriptures teach that ‘Wickedness never was happiness’ [Alma 41:10] which if reversed teaches us that righteousness and obedience would result in happiness. Abraham Lincoln said once. “’When I do good I feel good, and when I do bad I feel bad.” Truer words could not have been said. Happiness is defined in the Book of Mormon by the prophet-king Benjamin as “the blessed and happy state of those [that] keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual.”(Mosiah 2:41)

Being happy can be a challenge for sure, but what I have learned about being happy is that first of all I can choose. Happy people are predominately motivated and determined to choose good over evil, serve others willingly and are devoted to loving their Heavenly Father. That is hard work but we are told in in the scriptures that if we do we will be blessed with a state of never ending happiness  (Mosiah 2:41) what more could anyone want? “When a person begins to catch a vision of the ‘true’ work, when he begins to see something of eternity in its true perspective, the blessings begin to far outweigh the cost of leaving ‘the world’ behind. Herein lies the only true happiness.” (Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, Jun 1976, 3.) I do believe this, I have experienced this in my life and and observed this happening to many people around me throughout my life. There are some things in life I know little about but this I KNOW, the closer I am to my Heavenly Father, meaning abiding by His precepts and commandments the happier more peaceful I am. It is a irrevocable truth and I do have a choice. Every morning that I open my eyes from my short motherhood slumber, I get to choose.

Someone one once said that the “knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness” so what will I choose today? Happy or sad? To serve others or not to serve? Will I wear my experiences for the world to see or will I pour those concerns out to my Heavenly Father and allow Him to help me part the stormy clouds in life?  “Life is good, if we live in such a way to make it so. . . . ‘A good life’ comes as a result of the way we do things, of the words we choose to say, and even of the kind of thoughts we choose to have. . . ‘Wanting to’ is the determining factor which leads us to lay hold upon the word of God and be happy. Perseverance in making correct decisions is what leads us to happiness.” (Benjamín de Hoyos, “True Happiness: A Conscious Decision,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 31)

This, I know is true and this is a little of what I know about happiness.

***************************************************************************

GREAT QUOTES ON HAPPINESS

” ‘What is the price of happiness?’ One might be surprised at the simplicity of the answer. The treasure house of happiness is unlocked to those who live the gospel of Jesus Christ in its purity and simplicity. Like a mariner without stars, like a traveler without a compass, is the person who moves along through life without a plan. The assurance of supreme happiness, the certainty of a successful life here and of exaltation and eternal life hereafter, come to those who plan to live their lives in complete harmony with the gospel of Jesus Christ-and then consistently follow the course they have set” Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969, 259

“Satan also has a plan. It is a cunning, evil, subtle plan of destruction. It is his objective to take captive the children of Father in Heaven and with every possible means frustrate the great plan of happiness.” Elder Richard G. Scott

“The sacrificing spirit and the happiness that come through service to others can bring peace and joy even amid trials.”M. Russell Ballard, Ensign, May 1992, 75

“Agency used righteously allows light to dispel the darkness and enables us to live with joy and happiness in the present, look with faith to the future, even into the eternities, and not dwell on the things of the past. Our use of agency determines who we are and what we will be.” Robert D. Hales, Ensign, May 2006, 4-8

“A man must rise by his own efforts and walk by faith. One of our greatest resources for success and happiness is doing the right thing now. All of us as God’s children must be taught that meaningful growth must come from within and not from without. By so doing, we will walk in His paths, lift the arms of the weary and oppressed, give encouragement to our associates, develop individual initiative in governing ourselves, carry our crosses with dignity and purpose, and help all to become fishers of men straightway.” Marvin J. Ashton, Ensign, May 1983, 30

“Joy is an emotion of the spirit. It comes through righteous living. It is not a casual or shallow feeling, ever. If we equate fun and pleasure with happiness, we may think pain must always be equated with unhappiness. But that is not true. Joy is not a stranger to pain. We may not feel deeply enough to know joy unless our hearts have been hollowed out by sorrow. A heart may not be big enough to know real joy until it has been stretched and pulled by trials and hard things. In 2 Nephi 2:23 [2 Ne. 2:23] we find this phrase: ‘having no joy, for they knew no misery.’ Our capacity to feel joy actually increases as we righteously endure our pain.” Barbara Workman, Ensign, July 2005, 50–54

The post What is true happiness? What do happy people know? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“Our busy lives force us to focus on things we do from day to day. But the development of character comes only as we focus on who we really are.”

—Elder Russell M. Nelson, 2000

There is something fantastic and magical about the beginning of a new year. Sort of like the feeling I try to impress upon my kids as they rest their weary heads on their pillows after a “bad day,” feeling all but defeated by the world.  We often repeat to each other in a courageous attempt to move forward “tomorrow, is a fresh start!” A new year is definitely a fresh start in so many ways but so is every day, indeed, a  fresh start. The day-to-day increments of improving ones self is powerful and profound, particularly as you look back on the windy road traveled. A new year provides a splendid opportunity to sit back, ponder, pray and evaluate your life, where you are relative to where/who you want to be. It is only upon reflecting on where you have come from, that you see how far you have gone, sometimes one time breath at a time.

In the refining process of life, trial and error, we gradually become new people, shaped by our choices and the many consequences (good or bad) that follow. Growing and progressing with each and every day, (hopefully) becoming better and better with every bend in the road, a  truly magnificent opportunity. One of my favorite quotes from Elder Neal A. Maxwell is about the opportunity we can gain as we face trials:

Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us. (Neal A. Maxwell, “Enduring Well,” Apr. 1997.)

This is so very profound! SO often I lay down my head at the close of a day, feeling as if I have taken a beating from every direction, but in that is a glistening opportunity for me to become and BE a better human being, a better woman, a better daughter of God. If our goal is to ultimately be more like Him (which mine is), to live in His presence one day, then how could I possibly expect to go through life without having experiences (often times trying) that indeed sanctify?

There is an interesting dichotomy in life which suggests we are suppose to be happy and content with who we are and the lives we have been given but to also have goals and be working towards something more. I believe there is a divine balance (that in and of it’s self is a personal goal of mine) that when done with inspiration is a extraordinary way to navigate through life with purpose.  Setting meaningful and thoughtful goals is a perfect opportunity to sanctify, cleanse, rid our selves of the unneeded “baggage” we so often get attached to. Goals, when committed to, help us step out off idle and get moving forward. Setting goals can be painful at times because it requires us to be vulnerable and look squarely at our weaknesses and areas that need growth or improvement. That is hard, Anais Nin said it perfectly “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”. That is the overwhelming fidgety feeling I get every January 1st as I contemplate my list of goals aka “New Years Resolutions.” Sure there is always a little disappointment at what didn’t happen, but unfailingly  SO much more did SO I gladly take the plunge to dig deep, soul search into those areas of my life that need it most, even if it stings a bit, that is OK.

I heard someone recently say “goals, sham-oales… why bother… why set myself up for disappointment…?” Clearly they were not intrigued with the opportunity to set what could be life-changing goals and feel defeated at the list of past unachieved goals.  I was saddened at this comment because I knew the joy that comes from working everyday to achieve goals and the sublime satisfaction of knowing I am working (sometimes relentlessly) toward becoming a better person. I have a quote in my entry way that says “Everyday try a little harder, to be a little better.” That is the essence of why we are here. Some days those movements are minuscule and other days they are huge strides, the point being, it is important that we are progressing in one way or another, everyday. A life without goals is a life without direction.

Howard W. Hunter said “True greatness…always requires regular, consistent, small, and sometimes ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time. (“True Greatness,”  1982.)

For me, the New Year tends to magnify my life experiences and in that context, brings into focus all that I am still yearning to become. The opportunity to set goals, re-evaluate who I am and where I am going is not something I take lightly rather it is a big deal. It is motivating and exciting to know I can become, with effort and diligence, a better person. Setting and achieving goals is a great way to become the person I desire most to be. One day, I hope to qualify completely to be in the presence of my Lord and Redeemer, the very one who made it possible for me to reform, change, and grow.

I am so grateful for the tradition of goal setting and the new year. It is a valuable tool that helps me along this path of life. It is a valuable tool that helps my children and husband too. As a family, at the beginning of every year ,we set family goals as well as personal goals. My husband and I also set goals for our marriage that have proven to be an extraordinary blessing and undoubtedly supplies us with a funny conversation as we look back at past years goals. 🙂 It helps us realize that life isn’t so bad, tomorrow really is  a fresh start. Even though at times it feels like we are treading water, we really are progressing in large part due to our efforts in keeping, remembering and striving to achieve our goals. If today did not yield to results we had hoped, we can keep those goals and aspirations close and focused and move forward with faith to the next day. There is peace in that. I love a new year and I love goals. Goals add meaning and substance to this wonderful thing called life!

Happy, Happy New Year! It is going to be a great one!

The post A New Year, A Fresh Start appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

As we have now crossed the finish line to the 1st week of school, I am able to pause and reflect on the summer we have enjoyed. I love summer. It’s an extraordinary time. For us, summer is filled with rich memories, people and purpose, time spent with loved ones and of course the excitement of building anticipation for new adventures that lie ahead in the fall.

With school-age children is it easy to get swallowed up in the multitude of tasks associated with being a mother. Being a mother requires skills in all trades but the one skill I value most is patience. Summer really embodies the sweetness of this. During the school year it is rush rush rush… patience is a rare commodity. It is hurry here, hurry there. Taking a cleansing breath can be a rarity, the type of cleansing breath that absorbs the joy of life into every cell of your being. It is hard to do that even during the best of times. Patience is a virtue. I have a deep conviction of its importance.

When summer break befalls, our patience is rewarded as we exhale in relief. Before our busy summer of travels we spent a good two weeks in exhale mode. We played and laughed and enjoyed each other. We played in the rain, blew bubbles, we spent days building forts out of sheets, we enjoyed sleeping in and staying up late. We frequented the pool and skate parks. We listened to music on the internet, built new playlists for my kids who had been begging for months to do so. I purposefully emptied our schedule of everything so I could enjoy the reprieve from my calendar and play with my children, it was heaven on earth.

In Ecclesiastes 3:9  it goes on to say that “What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?”

It is part of God’s marvelous design that we reap the reward after the trial of our faith. We harvest the crop after many days of labor. In many cases we fail to recognize the comfort of warm sun rays on our brow until we have been chilled by winters frost, so it is the case with the love of summer.

Now that kids are back to school and time is once again moving the speed of light, I am loving the new season we are in. Every year at this time I find myself welcoming the change of season, not the weather but the phase of life. I have loved summer for what gifts it brought us but I love that my kids are back in school now, learning and growing and developing as human beings. I love to sit down with them at the end of a day listen to all their doings. Time does pass so quickly and that can be frustrating but I love life and I love that every moment is fleeting, it makes me want to suck as much life and love and joy out of every moment.  I am so very grateful to have the changing seasons of life, I believe that is one of our loving Heavenly Fathers tender mercies in allowing us to fully appreciate the sun’s shine because we have rested in the shade for a time.

The post Mormon Motherhood: Love of Summer appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

A Mormons Woman’s story of conversion

~by Becky

I sat staring at the surf as I listened to the hypnotic rush of the waves.  My feet were going deeper into the wet sand as it disappeared and then covered them again.  It was one of those quiet moments, when, like it or not, my thoughts ran deep. It had happened before many times as I climbed the trees and sat up high staring at the sunset. Sometimes, it happened as I stared at the clouds as they formed into thunderheads or just floated into funny shapes as I gazed at them.  It was in those quiet moments that eternity seeped into my consciousness. What I didn’t understand was the strange feelings that always accompanied these thoughts. It was a combination of a longing, a deep questioning, a yearning for something unidentified. Strong, sure beliefs of my own had formed in these meditative moments. I was absolutely sure that I did not just become me when I was born.  Any other idea seemed absurd. I felt it in every fiber of my being: I am eternal. I also knew that somehow, some way I would have an eternal family of my own someday. The family I was born into never discussed either of these beliefs and it was not part of the doctrine of the church I had attended all my life. I also knew without a doubt that God was not some floating spirit out there who wasn’t real or who wasn’t interested in His children. I just knew that he and His Son, Jesus Christ, whom I loved dearly, were real and full of love.

I had read the Bible many times and it was as clear as anything could be to me that Jesus was talking to His Father, not to himself, in the scriptures. In fact, this was so obvious to me that I was shocked later to find out that my church, pastor, other believers, believed in a very incomprehensible thing to me; that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were all one being. How could that be? The Bible was clear-Jesus talked to His Father, His Father spoke to Him at his baptism and the Holy Ghost descended as a dove. To me,  this was as clear as anything could be.

Even though I had these thoughts and beliefs of my own at the young age of 17, I wasn’t particularly unhappy or unsettled about it. I was going on in my church and didn’t imagine that the answers were even out there. The only thing that couldn’t stop disturbing my peace were those strong feelings!  The deep emptiness and longing that I felt at times became the one thing I could not ignore. I didn’t expect the answer to these deep questions to come in the way that it did.

I was given a book with a name I had never heard of before, by a young man I was dating. It was blue with an angel blowing a trumpet on the front and the title was  The Book of Mormon. When I opened the book and read it, I felt such an incredible feeling! I was filled with a burning peace and light like I had only felt once before. I had felt this same incredible feeling when I had come to know and accept Jesus was indeed my Lord and Savior. Now, as I read this book, I felt it again-this book was testifying of Him! This book was an ancient record from people that had lived on the American continent who had come from Jerusalem. They kept a record of their lives. Most of the record covers from 600 B.C. to 421 A.D. But, the part that was the most exciting was that Jesus Christ came to visit these people after His resurrection. I had always wondered about the scripture in John 10:16-who were these other sheep?  Then I read in this new book of scripture where Jesus told them they are one of the “other sheep” he spoke about in the Bible.  This book was scripture like the Bible!  I was so excited!

Due to many persecutions and trials, it took me years to finally do something about my new-found knowledge that this book was true. In fact, I tried to go on without it. I tried to put it out of my mind. The price was so very high if I did do something about it. Due to many circumstances, I was not able to do anything about it until many years later. After 13 years of living without it, I knew I could no longer bear the emptiness, the cavernous hole inside of me. I knew I had to find the church that had this book. I did and was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was in my lessons to be baptized that I discovered the answers to those deep questions I had held all my life. Where did I come from? Why I am here?  Where do I go after I die?  All those questions were answered in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  It is glorious!  It is incredible!  Now, I look out at the clouds and no longer wonder-but I know with a knowledge that only the Holy Ghost can give.  Yes, you are eternal; yes, you can  have an eternal family; and yes, God, who is Heavenly Father, IS the Father of us all and Jesus Christ is His Son and the Holy Ghost testifies of all these truths. It is so wonderful, so sublime!

I hope you will seek out these answers too. They are right there before you!  Go and find them, as I did–the greatest treasure you can have!

The post Portrait of Mormon Women: Becky appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

My parents divorced when I was very young, but throughout my childhood I remained very close with my father. When I was young, high-school aged, we talked on the telephone almost every day. He lived in Canada and I in Utah, so the means in which we were able to nurture a close relationship was during our short summer visits and to share our lives via phone. I remember discussing with him experiences from my day, daily jibber-jabber that most teenagers are fascinated with and most certainly the kind of talk parents get easily bored with. Nonetheless, my dad was always interested and eager to hear about my life and also my feelings about life. He offered great counsel and validation for a young girl struggling to find her place in this world. He was a blessing to me in a huge way as he always made me feel important even though deep down, I didn’t.

On August 23rd 1993 my father passed away after struggling with a long series of illnesses. I missed him, I loved him and I needed him. Years later I ran across a cassette tape with old answering machine recordings on it. In those days the answering machines were not built into your phone like voice mail is today, they were external pieces of equipment that actually recorded the messages onto a cassette tape. So I popped the cassette into my tape deck (again, a piece of equipment from the past) and began listening. After a few minutes of listen to rather meaningless messages from friends and boyfriends I heard the expected in between messages ‘BEEP’ followed with heavy breathing and a pause… I knew it was my beloved father…. my heart paused in excitement to hear his voice again,  then… a loud gregarious belch and ‘HANGUP.’ I immediately began laughing as I knew exactly who that was. My father was a jokester, the best prankster known to man. He was always up for a laugh even at the expense of being ill mannered. That was my dad, my loving, caring, affectionate and larger than life dad.  I was brought back to that moment in time when that sweet phone belch use to make me feel so special. I stopped the tape and sat on my floor utterly enjoying the moment with tears in my eyes, absorbing the flood of feelings as I remembered the warmth and affection of my loving father.

WHAT I LEARNED from this experience is that sometimes it is the little, simple things that mean the most. Sometimes the way in which we show love and affection is passionate and sincere but other times a simple belch on the recorder will do the trick. Though my father was a passionate loving man and easily expressed his affection to me and others. He was also great at showing it in other ways as well. That phone belch will rest in my memory as a very simple yet effective way of my father expressing to me, in his own way that he was thinking about me, loved me and cared for me deeply.

One of my favorite quotes about parenting is from Alvin Prince that said “Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.” That was my father, always filling others’ buckets.

Interestingly the lessons I learned from my father about loving others has made an abiding impression upon me about the importance of fathers (and mothers) and their expression of love towards their children.  In many ways as a mother I have been influenced by my late father who showed me in vibrant colors the importance of loving others and showing it. Sometimes it is by small and simple means (Alma 37:6) that we share affection to those we love and other times overflowing and consuming, the important thing is that we do it. I love my father and miss him greatly. I am so very grateful for the many lessons he taught me, especially for the lessons about relationships and paramount ways that I am worth loving, for he loved me abundantly and I knew it.

The post Phone Calls from Dad appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I recently participated in a relay marathon in Corpus Christi Texas.  I ran one leg of six, each approximately  4.5-miles — not a big deal but still a healthy run. I had trained well so I was going strong, yet on occasion my mind would rudely blurt out “ahh, this is too hard… you should walk… just a bit…just take a little break….” As this silent inner monologue continued, it became increasing irritating and discouraging SO I decided I would run faster every time I felt my mind or body going weak, to prove I was in charge. The old adage “mind over matter” never seemed more apropos.  It was a great experience, even spiritual, mainly for what I was able to teach myself about self-discipline and mastery. Elder James E. Faust said “Self-mastery … is the ultimate test of our character.” Yes it was a test physically but more so mentally.

In addition to the lessons on self-mastery, I learned another valuable lesson. I gained a simple appreciation for what runners call the “runners high,” the moments of euphoria that come after enduring and succeeding in doing a very hard thing. Those feelings are great but not nearly as rewarding as choosing the right and persevering through tough trials, that is powerful, beautiful and compelling. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to DO is increased.”

Not long ago I was reading in the Book of Mormon (Alma 39) where Alma the elder was speaking to his sons, giving them some last fatherly counsel before his death. In his counsel to Corianton he says “cross yourself in all these things.” “Cross” to me also means self-mastery. When I read those words my eyes paused on the page as I digested and contemplated it’s application into all facets of my life and before long I found myself cascading through different scriptures familiarizing myself with what the scriptures had to teach me about self-mastery.  Alma in this instance was referring to self-mastery in avoiding sexual sin; however, self-mastery is not exclusionary to sexual fidelity, it applies to everything we do.

Self-mastery is also temperance. In 2 Peter 1:6-10 it reads “And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness. And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off….if ye do these things, ye shall never fall.” So, one of many things the scriptures have taught me is that self- mastery is temperance (self-restraint; abstinence) and patience (capacity, willingness to endure) and godliness (holiness). If  I can do those things, it is promised  I shall never fall. With the Lords help I will have the confidence to wax strong in all things. (See Mosiah 18:26)

Life is challenging at times (ok, all the time), that is part of the plan, that is why we are here, to push through the hard things and gain understanding and knowledge.  There are unyielding and unlimited ideas and desires pulling at our strings, beckoning for our immediate attention — and do not forget the adversary’s convincing and determined desire to distract us from what is most important. How can I possibly have confidence to effectively teach my children the values of self-mastery if I myself have a cursory and casual understanding of the principle? As an example, how will I effectively teach my children the importance of preserving a healthy body if I repeatedly and easily yield to the temptation of that extra warm cookie or piece of cake?

Power beyond my own is what I seek to push back the world and conquer the hard things life incessantly presents as a mother and wife.  Life just does not permit us to quit, so enduring needs some help, and self-discipline is the perfect medicine. Elder Hales of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles said “We learn to endure to the end by learning to finish our current responsibilities, and we simply continue doing it all of our lives. We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now.” As a parent, I can clearly see the need for my children to learn with exactness the value of self-discipline while they are young, and the need for that will certainly increase in days to come. Unfortunately life’s “hard things” will not always be as simple as resisting (self-mastery), seconds on dessert or sustaining a 4- mile run. Life will indubitably dish out some very difficult challenges and we will have to be able to master the little things in life so we will be able to handle the big, hard, things when then come because we know they will. That is the crux of this beautiful refining process called life.

Our family motto ” you can do hard things” could easily be reprinted in poster size and placed prominently in our home, especially as my children mature and distractions increase. In an increasingly godless and amoral society where anything goes and appetites are pacified instantaneously, where immediate indulgence is the norm, what better time to teach our children and ourselves the value of self-mastery and patience. Never yielding to the appetites of the body whether that be food, rest, apathy, the influence of others or an infinite number of other deterrents from truth.

President David O. McKay once said: “Spirituality is the consciousness of victory over self, and of communion with the Infinite. Spirituality impels one to conquer difficulties and acquire more and more strength. To feel one’s faculties unfolding and truth expanding the soul is one of life’s sublimest experiences.” Gospel Ideals (1953), 390.

I know like the sun shines high in the sky, that our loving Heavenly Father is ever mindful of how difficult our lives can feel at times. I know that He loves and supports us through our hard times, that if we are diligent with the small things the Lord will bless us with all we need to endure the big things of life. He is our supporter and through His Son, gave us our perfect example of how to do “hard things.”

The post You Can Do Hard Things appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Motherhood really is a magnificent and spectacular thing and truly is the “holiest” of any mortal pursuit I can imagine.  I am in marvel daily as I am continually pushed to the edge of my abilities as a mother and human being… or so it seems. What I stand in awe with, is the remarkable abundant love and capacity of my own mother who has taught me about the brilliance of being a mother. Self sacrificing, meek, gentle, loving, unconditional,  and an acute awareness as to the sanctity of being a mother, she sparkles from the inside out, that is what creates the magic that only a mother genuinely knows and understands. For me, becoming a mother created an enhanced spirituality that is impossible to articulate but easily desirable by my spirit.  There is nothing as consuming or life-altering than being a mother even in my most taxed days. I love my mother and I love motherhood and am completely overcome with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the exquisite blessings of both.

I love what sister Margaret D. Nadauld says about motherhood

“Our outward appearance is a reflection of what we are on the inside. Our lives reflect that for which we seek. …You can recognize women who are grateful to be a daughter of God by their attitude. They know that the errand of angels is given to women, and they desire to be on God’s errand to love His children and minister to them, to teach them the doctrines of salvation, to call them to repentance, to save them in perilous circumstances, to guide them in the performance of His work, to deliver His messages…You can recognize women who are grateful to be a daughter of God by their reverence for motherhood,… Daughters of God know that it is the nurturing nature of women that can bring everlasting blessings, and they live to cultivate this divine attribute. Surely when a woman reverences motherhood, her children will arise up and call her blessed (see Prov. 31:28) “The Joy of Womanhood,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 14–16

That quote sings to me and reminds me of the responsibility’s I have qualified for as a mother to 5 beloved children. “Reverence” is a perfect word in describing the attributes a mother should bestow. Below are a few other quotes worth mentioning. I hope all you mothers and daughters of mothers, take the opportunity to thank our Heavenly Father for the joyful blessing of mothers and for all the many wonderful women (friend, sister, neighbor, teacher etc.) in our lives that have mirrored radiantly the Christlike attributes of mothers.

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”~Abraham Lincoln

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” – Abraham Lincoln

The post Reverence for Motherhood appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

General conferences is a time twice a year where we get to go to church on the Sabbath in home.  For our family that day is traditionally filled with a big breakfast, lots of goodies to eat all day, foot rubs, note taking and plenty of snuggling, it is our favorite.   At its conclusion, I was so grateful to have a living prophet, President Thomas S. Monson to lead and guide me in these last days along with all the other called leaders of this church. Providing council for “today” as it pertain to present day issues and trials in addition to some counsel on what to look for in the future. Never before since the beginning of time have we had the issues that are relevant today and what peace and comfort that brings to have help as we work our own way through this life.

The other day I was visiting with a dear friend of another faith. We were discussing our differences in spiritual beliefs, which might I add are much more alike than they are different. Our conversations are always thoughtful, revealing and rather vulnerable especially when we begin talking about religion. She is very interested in my faith and beliefs but also has deep roots in her own. After our good talk we parted ways and though I love her deeply and respect her and her beliefs genuinely,  I felt an increased appreciation for my beliefs as a Latter Day Saint. I am so grateful to have modern revelation to guide and direct us through these perilous times. There are so many voices beckoning my attention and allegiance. If it were not for the counsel of MODERN day prophets, I might be wandering and confused. “There is much distraction and not enough peace and joy” said Sister Julie Beck (General Relief Society President) in the Saturday morning session of this past conference.  Thankfully after she voiced those cautious words, then came 10 minutes of calm and confident inspiration and guidance on standing strong in this life amongst overwhelming opposition, how to qualify for/understand and act on personal revelation and how to overcome distraction and FIND peace and joy, as women.

I am indeed enthused after this past weekend, to do better and be better.  That is one marvelous attribute of the gospel of Jesus Christ, it always encourages us to be (and become) all that we can and by doing so insures increased happiness, despite circumstances that may be unceasingly challenging. The testimonies of those that spoke strummed the strings of my heart. The spirit of what they said  spoke words to me and affirmations of truth that are inarticulate and indescribable.  I am overwhelmed with love to my Heavenly Father for offering a means by which I can feel the safety of his love through the counsel and testimony of others.

President Uchtdorf said “As we share our testimony with others, I hope that we will have the same convincing power and enthusiasm the members had who brought the message to Brigham Young. He said: ‘The brethren who came to preach the Gospel to me, I could easily out-talk them . . .; but their testimony was like fire in my bones; I understood the spirit of their preaching; I received that spirit; it was light, intelligence, power, and truth, and it bore witness to my spirit, and that was enough for m” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Truth Restored,”

When others bear committed and earnest testimony of our savior Jesus Christ, I do feel fire in my bones. It is infections and contagious, in the most beautiful and joyous way. I am grateful increasingly for the blessing of MY testimony, that is abounding. I am undeniably grateful for the affection I feel towards my Savior Jesus Christ and his restored gospel. I may not know all doctrine or understand all things, but I know enough. The spiritual ballads that were echoing in my heart this past weekend is yet one more cherished burning confirmation of the truthfulness of what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints.  Glorious!

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then, burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” Albert Schweitzer

The post Fire in Your Bones appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Jen H.

As a mother of five, involved with many many things, I am challenged to find privacy anywhere. Just the other day after a long and exhausting day, I laid in bed and pondered how impossible it was that throughout my day I had not had a single moment where I was not being touched, rubbed, tugged at, sung to, talked to, hollered at, cried at, complained to, questioned, argued with, negotiated with, laughed at (or with) and on and on. I realized how hungry I was for a little simplicity and quiet.

I love (love love) being a mother, I love my children intensely and never wish my life was anything different than it is… However, as I have grown in to motherhood I have realized a weakness of mine that I wish to change.  I am by nature a very focused person. If I over-schedule and over-commit, the most important things in life unintentionally become subordinate to the less important things.  When I discipline myself and take the time to listen,  ponder and pray to my Heavenly Father, He reveals to me just what I need to know, right when I need to know it.

In this case, I was able to recognize my discomfort, realizing there was a larger need not being met. Had I not taken the time to reflect on the importance of quiet and the tremendous value of simple things (two things I have to work hard to obtain but essential for my quality of life) I would have missed this tender messages sent direct to me FOR me from my loving Father in heaven.

Every summer we take an extended hiatus to Utah and visit my mother  on “The Ranch.” A quick departure from the hustle and bustle of reality, to a slower paced, relaxed, paradise like environment. When I am there, my testimony grows almost spontaneously. While at home, it is very challenging if not nearly impossible to coordinate quality quite time with all the coming and going but it is nonetheless imperative for proper planning and prioritizing of a big family. Effective listening to those promptings of the spirit is KEY to proper self mastery. When I “plan my life” and prioritize effectively, I permit myself the opportunity to slow down and breathe and listen…. I then am flooded with little nuggets of personal revelation/inspiration and am embraced in the arms of quite reflection. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said:

“… We should lower the noise level in our homes so that the noise of the world will not overpower the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost….”

Though I have a wonderfully noisy home, our home can and should be “still” too. If it is hard to come by, than that probably means I need it most and should strive harder to lower the noise level, redirect my schedule to allow times for meaningful, uninterrupted reflection and conversations between myself and the Lord.

Distractions… There are OH so many distractions. It is easy to be thrown off track with often times essential and inevitable distractions,  that is part of life, the key is knowing how to get myself back on track. Elder Russell M. Nelson said:

“Some people on life’s journey forget who they really are and what is really important. Without sure identity and priority, blessings that matter most are at the mercy of things that matter least…. Eternal principles that govern happiness apply equally to all. “

Isn’t that the truth, when noise and distractions are present “blessings that matter most are at the mercy of things that matter least…”.

Every time I adjourn our visit from that wonderful paradise in Utah, I am filled with a new commitment to increase the quite in my home, to simplify and sanctify my home. It is not the things that are important, it is the people. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:

“In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something.”

I want my home to “become something”… a quiet still haven from the noisy world and the battle ground of the adversary even amongst the chattering, wrestling and big family banter. Though this requires a great deal of strategic discipline and commitment, the blessings are profound which I have personally witnessed.  I have a found a new love for quiet and bear testimony to the importance creating space in my life to have that time. Striving for a more peaceful home free of unnecessary noises of the world and distractions which will then lend itself to a home full of important, meaningful, eternal relationships, home where “eternal principles that govern happiness” will be available to all.

“[S]eek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness; and all … things shall be added unto you” (JST, Matt. 6:38; see KJV, Matt. 6:33, footnote a)

The post First Person: Home a Quiet Haven appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.