This year’s Women’s Conference provided me with a wealth of material to ponder and integrate into my life. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the classes I attended.

“Lord, who needs me today? Tell me her name.” -Elaine S. Marshall quoting her then Relief Society President – Ann Madsen

I have used this sentence prayer in the days since Women’s Conference and by doing so I have invited the spirit of revelation into my life. Names and faces have been provided and opportunities for service made manifest. I was not surprised when the names provided were my own husband and children, but other names have been provided as well. I’m printing this quote out and taping it onto my bathroom mirror, it’s just that good.

“How many spiritual experiences have we missed because we ran to tell instead of lingering and waiting on the Lord?” – Paraphrasing Camille Fronk Olson.

Eric Huntsman and Camille Fronk Olson co-taught a class on women disciples where they felt that the reason Mary Magdalene was privileged enough to be the first person to see the Lord in His resurrected form is clearly recorded in the gospel of John: she lingered. Since hearing these words I have tried to linger longer when I feel the Holy Spirit’s presence. This Sunday I made a point to find the mothers of children who had born their testimonies in Primary and tell them word for word what their child said. We stood and hugged, with tears stinging as we marveled at the faith of children. If I had hurried home (as I normally do after church) I would have missed these sweet moments with my friends.

“The best ways to preserve traditional marriage and families is to participate in them.” 

This was a summary thought I had after listening to Stacey Edgington and Ann Takasaki’s class entitled Defending, Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage. Stacey Edgington taught, “There are absolute truths. It is important to create an environment where eternal truths can be taught. We need to 1. understand the doctrines of God  2. teach them to our children 3. be examples of discipleship by living and teaching truths to our posterity…. How we live will preserve the sanctity of marriage.” When the Women’s Conference transcripts come out, this will be the first talk I re-read. Another great quote they shared in the class was from Spencer W. Kimball, “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” I was impressed by the strength and tenderness of these women and the compassion they showed while still standing firm in the defense of traditional marriage. This class stood out from the pack as a must read from Women’s Conference.

“Be brilliant in the basics.” – Julie B. Beck 

Stacey Edgington quoted Julie B. Beck in the Protecting Traditional Marriage class as a method for preserving family life. What are the basics? Personal and family prayer, consistent Family Home Evening and scripture study, tenderness, work, eating meals together. When I got back home from Conference I felt re energized in my commitment to live the basics. In lieu of the large family calendar that used to loom over me in my office daily, I have transferred all of our appointments to my phone and compiled a small checklist that lives in my kitchen.  My Monday through Sunday wipe board is where I tally check marks when I complete “the basics.” This way I can prioritize what is truly important and let work assignments, piano lessons, and book club meetings get the second tier level of importance they deserve.

“Elaine, You cannot live your life in Gethsemane, Jesus was already there. You must find yourself in another garden.” – Elaine S. Marshall quoting her mother

Due to the fall of Adam, all of us will find ourselves confronted by the ugliness of mortality. The longer I live the more I am convinced that this “rock bottom” moment is part of the plan.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” I believe that mortality forces us to choose Jesus Christ (or some form of God) or to arrogantly choose a path that ultimately leads to spiritual death. I recently found myself in the Garden of Gethsemane fighting a crippling battle with anxiety. The racing thoughts, panic attacks and my self defeating beliefs took me to a very dark place. A friend felt prompted to send me her testimony of the power of Christ’s atonement and what equated to the first two steps in the 12 step program for addicts and co-dependents as used by our church. Using her prescribed method and humbly recognizing that I was fallen and that Jesus Christ was and is the “way, the truth and the life”out of my hell I began to pray in such a way that light and healing began to pour into my heart and mind. I had found my way into another garden through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

“Charity is the pure love of Christ.” – Moroni 7:47

Kevin J. Worthen turned my life upside down when he shed a new perspective on this well known scripture. I have always thought this verse of scripture as a description of Christ’s love for us. His perfect love is what we aspire to have when interacting with our brothers and sisters here on earth. But in a simple story that Brother Worthen shared about a time when he was annoyed with an ill performing co-worker that turned into a teaching moment, Kevin Worthen found that choosing to love God (that first great commandment) quickly led his heart to loving his brother as himself (the second great commandment.) Brother Worthen taught me that when I struggle to love another, try loving God is a path to charity. With that in mind, let’s read Moroni 7:47 again “But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” Doesn’t Kevin Worthen’s take on this scripture make charity so much more achievable? What a lovely thought!

Two other themes that I saw throughout the entire Conference were understanding the doctrines of the Priesthood and feeling joy despite hardship. I recommend the broadcasts and written transcripts to you as edifying and worthwhile material for study and learning. We will be linking to these talks in the near future to make it easy for you to find and enjoy.

Let me just leave you with the scripture theme for the 2013 Women’s Conference at BYU:

Therefore, continue your journey and let your hearts rejoice: for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end. D&C 100:12

The post Notable Quotables from the 2013 Women’s Conference at BYU appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I am not exactly sure how this all works, but I’ve been on a search for the last couple of days for some answers. I am hoping I may find some here. My husband and I have been married for almost three years and we have a little girl. We both were brought up by lovely, goodly parents. We both served missions and met at BYU. We married in the SLC temple. A few months ago, my husband gradually told me, as he was gradually coming to this conclusion, that he no longer believed in the church and finally no longer believed in God. I am having a really hard time figuring out how I feel. I am upset that I am no longer a part of the cookie cutter plan, meaning, eternal marriage is no longer possible. I fear about how we will raise our children. Anyway, we love each other and we don’t want to divorce. Is there anyone out there who is/has gone through this similar situation and could shine a little light as far as what we can do to make our marriage work and how we can raise our child(ren possibly in the future) without too much disagreement? Any other tips or advice would be grately appreciated. Thanks!

Answer: by Brenda (and friends)

Dear Chris, I have been very anxious to answer your question but wanted to give you multiple women’s perspectives so I asked several of my friends to help respond.

Britt writes:

I’m sure this must be so devastating. What a shock. In your shock I’m sure there are going to be feelings that won’t endure…the hopelessness, the mourning of the marriage you thought you had, the feeling that you can never have an eternal marriage. 

I’m thrilled to hear you still loves your husband and he loves you. 

I’m a big believer that you learn eternal love by loving someone eternally. The persistence and patience and kindness that endure despite whatever challenge. …that is the most important thing to learn from marriage.

I would emphasize his good points…how he honors his role as a father, how he leads and guides your children in virtues-even when he doesn’t base them on the gospel. 

The details will take a lot of communication and creativity and inspiration. I have faith that God can guide you here…

Huge hugs while you recover from the first shock of it all and mourn a bit.

Elisa writes:

I think this is more common than we even realize, even with members who are still “attending”. I remember crying to my Dad about how hard it was to be “the strong one” always taking the kids to church alone and sitting alone, leading family prayer, scripture study and FHE. He looked at me and said “Buck Up Elisa. Thousands of women are in the same situation you are. You make the best of what it is and you do what you have to do. YOU keep your temple covenants and the Lord will bless you and your marriage.” And the Lord has. This is never an ideal situation, but a spouse choosing to not participate or further believe is no reason to break your temple covenants. My Father taught me to keep fighting for my covenants and do my part to keep them in tact and I am grateful for that lesson. 

Trials like these are as much about how we, the “believing spouse” chooses to respond (and receive and love) as it is a trial for the non believing spouse. Marriage is one of the purest ways to help us become like our Savior– learning how to love unconditionally, even in times of trial, heartbreak and sorrow. There is absolutely nothing that cannot be fixed through the Atonement. 

I personally believe that any marriage can be a successful marriage if two partners are willing to be open, honest and vulnerable with one another. Full Disclosure about everything –nothing can be left off the table — so you understand what you are working with. There are thousands of women in this situation who are the faithful ones — and the marriages still work. It’s just being able to communicate with each other what the boundaries are and finding a support in other women who are in the same situations.

Stephanie writes:

I’ll let others chime in with better personal experience, but I have to dispute the claim that “eternal marriage is no longer possible.” Some of Satan’s favorite tools are shame and despair. If those feelings can make us retreat from something we know is true, then he is victorious. I say the best thing you can do is hold on to three things: hope, your own covenants, and confidence/trust in the Lord.

Emily writes:

My parents were married in the temple, my Dad served a mission, but for a majority of my life he has been inactive in the church. There were times I hated the way the half-faith in my family tore us apart emotionally and spiritually, and there were times I was happy to go to Lagoon (a theme park) instead of church. It has been very hard on my mom, whose faith has wavered severely at times, who considered divorce at several points. Because my Dad lived without the gospel he was subjected to the buffetings of Satan in very real ways. As he now attempts to leave behind addictions and bad behaviors after 40 years of indulgence it is taking all he has to access the atonement. Without my Mom he would not have continued trying, he would have given up on himself. 

I’m very grateful that my parents stayed together through some very difficult experiences. Sometimes I think it was a near martyr effort on my Mom’s part. The majority of my siblings are inactive, but good people who I hope one day return to the faith of their childhoods. Because of my parent’s covenants I have faith that somehow we’ll be together, especially as my Dad continues down the path of repentance.This is the reality of just one example. 

Now in my own marriage I see that there are shadows of this experience in all marriages, even active temple marriages. People tell my husband and I that they see we have a close relationship, and we do, but it isn’t fluffy clouds and rainbows. We still disagree about our faith, about how to live it, and teach it to our children. Just last night I tried to seek his counsel about a problem and his response was so negative that I gave up. This is just the reality of living with another imperfect child of God.

Liz writes:

I think my situation would be different, as I married a non-LDS man who is still very much non-LDS. He has struggled with being as supportive as he historically has been, but he seems to be turning a corner recently, which is LOVELY.

Had I married a man who professed one set of beliefs, and then changed radically, that would be harder. But in our “mixed marriage”, setting boundaries and keeping communication open is really helpful. He knows better than to plan distracting things for church time; I don’t pressure him to attend with us (he does come for Christmas, Easter, special performances, and the Primary program, because he thinks that’s a riot.) 

Because he is a believing Christian, though, we’re not hitting that struggle of “I believe”/”Well, I don’t!”. I feel like our communication and cooperation is better when we have gospel-centered discussions. Even though he does not subscribe to every element of the LDS dogma, we can at least center on God, Christ, the Atonement, etc… the big stuff. If the blog-questioner’s husband is truly taking a time-out from ALL belief, that’s going to be sticky.

I’d say the best boundary one can draw would be, “Honey, I understand that you’re in a different place now, spiritually. I love you, and that is not going to change. Because I know you love me, too, I need for you to keep criticism of faith/God/etc out of family discussions so it won’t be chaotic or confusing for the kids. But I think we can definitely have some time, just the two of us, to share our thoughts and feelings together, because I want to know what you’re thinking about, and how I can be supportive of you, because I anticipate you continuing to be supportive of my practices of faith that are important to me.”

Kaylie writes: 

I think that it’s important for a believing spouse to work through his/her own feelings. If you feel betrayed or hurt, if you feel like your dream has died, that’s totally legitimate and you need to grieve for losing what you wanted.

I think, too, that the best thing you can do for someone who doesn’t believe is to listen. DH is working through stuff, he gets really frustrated when he tries to explain his struggles and the other person starts defending the Church and telling him why he’s wrong. There’s a place for standing up for your beliefs, but I think that part of unconditional love is accepting the other person without an agenda. Which is hard when you’re scared and when the other person doesn’t appreciate what’s sacred to you. The old cliché holds true here: People don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.

Anonymous writes:

My own experience started out differently. My husband was not a member of the church when I met him. He took the missionary discussions and was baptized about 4 months before we were married. Of course, we could not go to the temple at that point because he’d been a member only 4 months. He said we would go as soon as he’d been a member for a year. During the year, he changed his mind and we did not get to the temple for 13 years. He finally decided to get active so we could go to the temple – long story, doesn’t matter as far as the answer to the question goes. We were sealed in the temple, our four children were sealed to us. After the sealing he would not speak to me. That lasted a couple of weeks – finally he told me he would never step foot in the temple again, he has kept his promise – we have been married 42 years. He attends church once or twice a year, just sacrament meeting if I am singing or when I was sustained as Relief Society President, or something else special is happening. I do not know why he has always been so resistant to the gospel, he will not talk about it – NOT ONE WORD.

If you choose to stay married, and stay active – and especially if you hope to rear your children in the gospel, I believe you will need a strong testimony and the ability to withstand persecution. It is one thing when persecution comes from some outside source. When it comes from inside the most intimate relationship any of us ever has, it’s incredibly difficult to hold on to your sanity, much less your testimony and your marriage.

The reason I am still married is that my husband and I are both very stubborn, and don’t give up easily. I have talked about leaving more often than he has. I think the pain of our separate views about the church and God has been more severe on my side, I don’t really know as he WILL NOT talk about it. I have prayed thousands of times for direction and several times very pointedly asking God whether it was ok for me to leave. The prayers for direction have invariably been answered along the lines of, have patience, be loving, forgive, ask his (my husband’s) forgiveness, respond with kindness, etc etc etc. Then I usually have to say a second prayer that goes something like, “I can’t do it, Father, you will have to give me the strength to be a better person than I am, because I can’t have patience, be loving, I can’t forgive, I certainly can’t ask for his forgiveness with any sincerity, and I DO NOT WANT to be kind to him.” The strength has been given just as requested. When I have asked for permission to leave, I have repeatedly been told no. Once I heard the words in my mind, “I know him better than you do, I love him more than you do, hang on – stay married.”

The last time I asked, which was a long time ago now, the answer was very pointed and the tone of “voice” I heard in my head felt final. The words I heard in my mind were “I have never given you permission to leave him.” That last time, I had really been collecting slights and reasons to be angry for a couple of years, piling them up so I could justify, finally, that I just couldn’t take it any more. So when I heard “I have never given you permission to leave.” I said, “Then what do I do with the pain, it’s crushing me; I cannot do this any more.” I heard in my mind, “Give it to me.” I sat and cried, and then said, “Here” and I got up and went on with my life. The pain left – not completely immediately, but it did leave. And for hurts that have come since then, I have prayed and given them to Him right then, instead of stockpiling them. I still constantly ask for help to be a better person than I am, because on my own, I could never do it.

I like to pray when I’m driving by myself or walking alone out in the hills. Recently I was telling Heavenly Father how grateful I was that I had stayed married, and thanking Him for strengthening and softening me so I could stay active in the gospel that I love with all of my heart, and also stay married. I love my husband, he loves me, but we are not together in the gospel and it is a tough road. We have had four children. Two are active, two are not. I don’t know if it would have been different if we had taught them the gospel together.

I believe my husband will some day embrace the gospel and his temple covenants. If I am wrong, I still know that God told me to stay. I have kept my covenants and God has taken away the pain – there is still longing sometimes to share the gospel I love so much with the man I love, but the pain is gone. (It only took decades.)

The only advice I know is: Pray. Pray constantly. Ask for direction. Keep your covenants. Get further into the gospel than you have ever been. Hang on and when hanging on gets impossible pray for His strength to make it possible. Teach your children by word and example. Pray your heart out for them, because it will be hard for them too. After you ask God what He would have you do, do it. Your answer might be different than mine. But if the answer comes from God, it will be the right answer for you, and for your husband, and your daughter.I will pray for you.

——–

Dear Chris, and the thousands of women around the world who are like you, what I hope you got out of these little messages is we care. You are not alone. Nearly all of the women who responded to your question have experienced a type of spiritual widowhood. What I liked best about anonymous’ message was her admonition for you to seek God’s guidance for you and your family, and that no two situations are the same. I know of no life that follows the cookie cutter plan you spoke of in your question, but I do know that God cares about you and your husband.

This morning as I led my family in scripture study and prayer we read the parable of the lost coin as found in Luke 15.

Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently until she find it? And when she hath found it, she calleth her neighbors together saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I have lost.

I believe that through the atonement of Jesus Christ all that has been lost will eventually be found. I hope that when you find your coin – the coin of hope, of strength or testimony I hope you will write us back and let us rejoice with you.

Much love to you and yours,

Brenda

The post Ask a Mormon Woman: My Spouse Has Chosen To Leave The Church. Now What? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

“It has been estimated by the ‘World Food Program’ that two million Zimbabweans face starvation. The food crisis comes at a time the ‘Meteorological Services Department’ has predicted drought during Zimbabwe’s traditional farming season from October 2012 to around March 2013, and have advised farmers to plant drought-resistant crops to minimize the impact of poor rainfall as another severe drought looms.”
‘The Independent Newspaper’ September 14, 2012

We will be receiving deliveries for our containers on October 10th (7am-3pm)

(We would GREATLY appreciate your help in sorting and preparing the goods for bailing.)

TO BE DELIVERED TO:
‘LDS HUMANITARIAN CENTRE’
1665 BENNETT ROAD
SALT LAKE CITY
UTAH

SORTED CLOTHING IN WELL LABELLED GARBAGE BAGS
· NEWBORN – 2 (WE REALLY NEED CLOTHING!!)
· GIRL 3-10
· BOY 3-10
· GIRL TEENAGE 11-18
· BOY TEENAGE 11-18
· ADULT FEMALE
· ADULT MALE

WARM CLOTHING
· CHILDRENS – SWEATERS / SWEATSHIRTS / SWEATPANTS
· TEENAGE – SWEATERS / SWEATSHIRTS / SWEATPANTS
· ADULT – SWEATERS / SWEATSHIRTS / SWEATPANTS

· HATS / CAPS (CHILDREN & ADULTS)
· WHITE SHIRTS
· SOCKS
· NEW UNDERWEAR ONLY
· BRAS (New or Second-hand) (No garments please)

· SHOES (ALL SIZES, PAIRED UP well with a rubber-band)
· BLANKETS, QUILTS, CRIB QUILTS
· TOWELS – Large & Small
· SOFT TOYS FOR CHILDREN (that can be compact packed into bales)
· BACK PACKS
· DUFFLE BAGS

IN WELL LABELLED BOXES VERY TIGHTLY PACKED TO BE DELIVERED TO ‘EYES 4ZIMBABWE’ ON OCTOBER 10TH (7am-3pm)
Land Air Express
1232 South Gladiola Street, Suite 600 (north/west corner of building)
SLC, Utah 84104

· NEW-BORN KITS
· HYGIENE KITS
· SCHOOL KITS
· BOOKS – (10 boxes labelled ‘LIBRARY #1-#10’ WITH BOOKS TO MAKE UP A SCHOOL LIBRARY FOR AGES EITHER 5-12 OR 13-19 )
· SEEDS (Ziplock bags to distribute them in)
· BABY FORMULA
· DIAPERS
· NEW BABY BOTTLES
· TUNA FISH
· PEANUT BUTTER

· RICE

· DRY BEANS

· HAND/BATH SOAP – (Anti-bacterial if at ALL POSSIBLE)
· TOOTHBRUSH, TOOTHPASTE
· VASELINE CREAM
· DARK GLASSES / SUN GLASSES
· READING GLASSES (from the ‘Dollar Store’ or elsewhere)
· SPECTACLES/GLASSES (new or second-hand)
· WIND UP TORCHES
· SOCCER BALL / BASKETBALL / VOLLEYBALL
· FIRST AID KITS
· CANDY FOR THE KIDS
· LAUNDRY DETERGENT
· CRUTCHES / WALKING STICKS / WALKERS
· PENS / PENCILS / COLOURED PENCILS / ERASERS/ SHARPENERS / RULERS / SICSSORS / STATIONARY BAGS
· PAPER TO WRITE ON
· COLOURING BOOKS
· BAGS / SUITCASES
· BUCKET / PALE
· SCRIPTURES
· USED WORKING LAPTOPS
· CHURCH DVDS
· SEWING MACHINES & SEWING SUPPLIES, ROLLS OF FABRIC

PRE-PACKED SISTER & ELDER MISSIONARY BAGS/CASES – A bag/case which will be given directly to a Missionary to take with him/her on their Mission
(PLEASE pack them tightly so that the maximum items can fit! Please attach a secure tag to the outside of the case stipulating the size of clothing i.e. Size 32 suit pant, and a note/letter inside the case to the Missionary who will be receiving the bag giving him/her an e-mail contact of the Ward who packed the case so that they might communicate ‘THANK-YOU’, and to let you know who they are and which Mission they are serving in!)

SISTER MISSIONARIES
8 SHIRTS (P-DAY TO P-DAY)
6 SKIRTS
2 JACKETS
SCARFS
BELTS
STOCKINGS
BRAS
SLIP
3 PAIR OF COMFORTABLE WALKING SHOES
1 PAIR TRAINERS
P-DAY CLOTHES (2 plain T-shirts, Basketball shorts, pair of jeans, Sweatshirt, Sports socks)
PYJAMAS
2 SWEATERS
ALARM CLOCK
DARK PLAIN BACKPACK
RAINCOAT
1 SET OF SHEETS & PILLOWCASES
2 BATH TOWELS
QUAD/SCRIPTURES
A JOURNAL/PENS/PENCILS
BASIC FIRST AID KIT
SEWING KIT
MISSIONARY HYGEINE KIT: Small towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, razor/shaver & blades, soap, nail cutters, Vaseline)

ELDERS
8 WHITE SHIRTS (P-DAY TO P-DAY)
2 DARKER SUITS
2 BELTS
8 SOCKS (dark)
6 TIES
2 PAIR OF SHOES
1 PAIR TRAINERS
P-DAY CLOTHES (2 plain T-shirts, Basketball shorts, pair of jeans, Sweatshirt, Cap, Sports socks)
PYJAMAS
2 SWEATERS
4 TROUSERS
DARK PLAIN BACKPACK
RAINCOAT
1 SET OF SHEETS & PILLOWCASES
2 BATH TOWELS
ALARM CLOCK
A JOURNAL/PENS/PENCILS
BASIC FIRST AID KIT
SEWING KIT
QUAD SCRIPTURES
MISSIONARY HYGEINE KIT: Small towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, razor/shaver & blades, soap, nail cutters, nail file, Vaseline)

And any additional ideas that you might have would be WELCOMED!!

We are HAPPY to answer whatever questions you might have!?

PLEASE be sure to ‘THANK’ those who are so kindly assisting you, we are EXCEPTIONALLY GRATEFUL!!

With MUCH, MUCH GRATITUDE & THANKS…As we say in Zimbabwe, TATENDA!!! TATENDA!!! TATENDA!!!

Reeve, Laurette, Cecilie & MANY, MANY, MANY VERY GRATEFUL Zimbabweans!!

To learn more about Eyes For Zimbabwe, please follow the following link.

Zimbabwe Collections – October 10th, 2012

The post Eyes 4 Zimbabwe appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Brenda

With Mother’s Day right around the corner for women in many parts of the world, several posts on motherhood have been swirling in my head.

I could give tips on what moms really want this Mother’s Day.

I could share my personal experiences with all the different mothers in my life and pay tribute to the women who are helping me to raise my children. Neighbors, preschool and piano teachers – I love you.

I could write a post memorializing my own good mother. And maybe I will!

But today I want to touch on a subject my friend and I talked about last night that indirectly applies to Motherhood: God’s love. My task-driven attempts to earn God’s approval as a mother are failing. I’ve been spinning my wheels checking all the right boxes day in and day out and despite the buzz of good works I’m building up, I have felt a spiritual distance developing. After recounting my day and the struggles I faced to my friend over the phone, she gently reminded me that I don’t need to earn God’s love. I already have it.

I let out a sigh and let that sink in.

I already have God’s love.

And that felt so RIGHT. I have felt it, I know God is there and what He has chosen to share with me of Himself is kind, gentle and entreating. That internal voice that scolds me for forgetting to bring in cut flowers for Teacher Appreciation day, the shame I feel as papers fly out every time I open the car door and the weariness I feel when I find my toddler has smashed strawberries into the carpet -AGAIN isn’t God. It’s me, or worse the devil, trying to discourage me from feeling God’s love.

To combat this effective trap of the adversary I am praying. Praying to feel God’s love. Praying to know that He accepts my sacrifice as a mother. Praying for access to His divine grace. Praying that He will multiply my efforts for the benefit of my family. Praying for the peace He promised for those who love Him.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid.

I no longer want to trouble my heart with silly distractions. God and my family love me. Despite all of my weaknesses, and maybe even because of them, God and my family love me. And to all those mothers who are also fretfully spinning their wheels: God loves you too.

I wish you all a very peaceful Mother’s Day.

The post For moms who wonder if they are enough: A Mother’s Day gift appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I have a friend living with brain cancer. Recently her family threw her a birthday party and invited all who know her to come and express their love for her. She received many letters containing precious memories as well as visitors from near and far. As far as I can tell this is the only benefit cancer can provide: a window of time to tell a person you truly love them.

My friend’s daughter has been keeping a blog of her progress to update friends and family of her treatments and her reactions to those treatments. I have appreciated the blog because it gave me specific things to pray for like skillful surgeons, her anti-nausea medicine to work, her blood count to improve etc. My friend’s daughter documented her mother’s greatest desires after returning home from brain surgery. [Shared with permission.]

If there is an overall theme to her conversations, it is the intense, nearly overwhelming love that she feels a desperate need to communicate, but that there are no words to accurately convey. But I told her that spirit to spirit we have felt what she’s been trying to say. This has been a very sweet and tender time. We feel so blessed to have been through the shock and trauma and still have another opportunity to hug her and love her.

While we were getting dinner to her tonight, she asked me “Did we make any mistakes today?” I asked her what she meant, and she wanted to know if all our relationships were good or if there were any mistakes we needed to correct.

I have been pondering that blog post for some time now. Here, in her greatest time of need, my friend was teaching me something. Relationships matter! Expressing my love and mending relationships will be key to feeling content with my life on earth. Since reading that post I have spent hours thinking about my friends and family and wondering, “Are all my relationships good or are there any mistakes I need to correct?” It didn’t take close inspection to say, “Yes, there are mistakes I need to correct.” Most of my time pondering has been swept up in the how I am going to make things right. How do I overcome my pride? How do I heal these jealousies and insecurities? How do I gain more patience? Will they forgive me? Can I really learn how to love?

After asking God these questions, I have been receiving answers. God has been showing me that small, consistent acts of love are more effective than expensive gifts or outings. Emails, phone calls, thank you notes can keep hearts close. Remembering what people say shows you care. Honesty matters, but so does being true or loyal. Not everything needs to be said, especially when the information is unnecessarily critical or fodder for gossip. My time matters most to my children. These snippets of guidance remind me of a Book of Mormon scripture, Alma 37:6:

Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

When I attended my friend’s birthday party I got to sit down with her and tell her how that blog post impacted my life. We cried as she grabbed my hands and exclaimed, “It’s so important! We have to tell the people we care about how much we love them. Mend all of your relationships the best you can.” At that I looked her in the eye and said “I love you.” And she said, “I love you too.” We paused for a hug, and I left to let more of her friends and family wish her a Happy Birthday.

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In a previous post, I wrote about visitors being welcome to worship with us at any of our chapels worldwide. But our chapels are far from the only places visitors not of our faith are welcome. At lds.org there are lists of many different places to visit. Visitors are welcome to tour our Temple grounds, Visitors Centers, Pageants and Church History sites.

Just this weekend I visited the Mormon Battalion historic site located in San Diego, California, USA.

I was eager to include this site in my vacation plans because my brother-in-law was so enthusiastic in his description of the site as he had just visited with a church group the week prior. As we entered the beautiful hacienda style building a woman dressed in pioneer clothing welcomed us and ushered us into a tour. The first room of the tour was one of my favorites. What appeared to be old time black-and-white photographs hung on the wall actually come alive to share their story about coming across the plains and then agreeing to enlist in the U.S. army upon request from the President of the United States and Brigham Young.

The following four media rooms were designed to highlight aspects of the Battalion’s trip from the call for service in Council Bluffs through various points of interest in Missouri, Kansas, New Mexico and Arizona and on to San Diego. The total trip was around 1850 miles and is the longest recorded military march in history. The second room in the tour is a movie designed to introduce us to the Mormon Battalion backstory. Next we went into a re-creation of a supply room in Fort Leavenworth where we learned about what provisions the Battalion was equipped with on their march. Another door led us to a media room with a campsite theme where the film story continued to show us the tedious conditions endured by the Battalion as well as the “Battle of the Bulls.” The final media room is a replica of the old brick court house built in San Diego. Mormon Battalion members brought brick making and wagon trail blazing skills to the Southwest. At the end of the tour families took an old time photo and emailed it to our friends and printed a couple out at no cost as well as browsed memorabilia from the pioneers themselves. Outside, my nephews panned for gold, used a hand pump and learned about brick making.

All the members of my tour, ages 2 years to 84, loved it and were really impressed by the use of new media. I would go back again tomorrow I loved it so much.

All of the church historic sites, pageants and visitor centers are available free of charge. If travel is cost prohibitive this summer you can still learn about the Mormon Battalion via a virtual tour through BYU’s Virtual Tours on YouTube.

While at the BYU Virtual Tours YouTube site , feel free to take tours of many different LDS church history sites because visitors are always welcome!

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Because we want them!

Also because key points of our doctrine focus on family life.

1. We believe that we lived as spirit children of our Heavenly Father before we came to earth. We also believe that all of God’s children need to obtain a body to progress.

2. We believe that the commandment God gave to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth is still in effect.

3. Because of Jesus Christ’s Atonement, and through ordinances performed in temples, family relationships can continue beyond the grave. Children can be a source of joy and happiness not only in this life but in the life to come.

The most succinct document explaining our Church’s doctrines on children is The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Here are some quotes from that document that highlight what Mormons believe about children and family.

“All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.”

“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

“We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”

“We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.”

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

“Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

“…fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

The choice to bear and rear children is a sacred and personal one. There is absolutely no doctrine of our church that prescribes the number of children a couple should have. Agency, or the ability to choose (and the accountability for our choices) is a critical tenet of our faith. There are many LDS couples as well as single individuals who desperately long for children and family. Others consider personal circumstances like the health of the mother or financial restrictions that may influence family planning decisions.

Individual circumstances and choices vary but as we strive to be disciples of Jesus Christ we seek to follow His example of loving little children.

Mark 10:14 – Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: For such is the kingdom of God.

“It is our solemn duty, our precious privilege—even our sacred opportunity—to welcome to our homes and to our hearts the children who grace our lives.” Thomas S. Monson, “Precious Children, a Gift from God,” Ensign, June 2000, 2

You might also be interested in the following:

lds.org article on birth control
Ask a Mormon Woman: What are Mormon views on pregnancy, childbirth, and medical intervention?

**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” reflect the thoughts, perspectives, and experiences of individuals. Although here at Mormon Women: Who We Are, we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

Have a question you would like to ask? Send an email to us at gmail, with username ‘mormonwoman’

The post Ask a Mormon Woman: Why Do Mormons Have So Many Kids? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Twice a year I take time to do an inventory on how my food storage and emergency preparations are going. Six months ago I put together 72 hour kits and go bags for all of my family members. I also received a food storage shelf for my birthday that my husband has built and installed in our garage. I’m currently working on filling that with foods my family eats regularly. I would like to get a deep freezer this year too.

The next step in my food storage adventure is creating a three month supply of foods to be stored in-house. That will require me to clean and organize all of my kitchen cupboards. I’m really going to have to get geared up to make the next step as the thought of taking everything out of my cupboards with four kids around “helping” makes me weak in the knees. I find that smaller projects are easier for me to get the motivation to do.

Here is my To Do list for the next two weekends:

• Check all of the 72 hour kits for expiring foods. See if the clothes will still fit the kids. Update as needed.
• Make an inventory of all food on hand in kitchen and garage
• Refill the water tanks with fresh water
• Check the emergency car kits and make sure all of my husband’s work trucks have emergency supplies/food/water

I bet I can get that done in two weeks. Setting manageable goals for myself makes food storage and emergency prep more accessible. I found some great videos on youtube that I found motivating for me to make some progress in my long term food and water storage though.

In this video, a mormon woman shows us her long term storage room.

In this video another woman shares tips on how to start a three month supply.

And finally here is a tour of one woman’s year supply of food in her basement.

Watching these videos you may wonder, “Why do Mormons store food?” I love the answer Melanee gave here at Mormonwoman.org over a year ago. The following is an excerpt from that article.

Church leaders have always counseled members to become self-sufficient—to be prepared to meet the challenges of life. We’ve been counseled to get out of debt and live within our means, to prepare families and neighborhoods for natural disasters (which really do occur frequently all over the world) and yes, to build a long-term supply of food storage.

Even if you’re not a Mormon, having a long-term supply of food you can eat is a good idea. Though most people haven’t experienced a natural disaster big enough for the movies, there are plenty of situations that occur every day in which food storage would be a huge asset, such as unemployment, injury, or illness. Surely no one needs to be reminded of the thousands of people today who are losing their jobs and their homes in a tumultuous economy. Families facing tough times can have an extra sense of stability and confidence if they are able to keep food on the table without appealing to others for help. President Thomas S. Monson said, “Many more people could ride out the storm-tossed waves in their economic lives if they had their… supply of food… and were debt free. Today we find that many have followed this counsel in reverse: they have at least a year’s supply of debt and are food-free.” (“That Noble Gift — Love at Home,” Church News, May 12, 2001, 7, quoted in “Family Home Storage: A New Message,” Ensign, Mar 2009, 56–60.)

Though this is not a primary motivation for most people to store food, my husband and I like to look at our food storage as something of a financial investment. When food prices are rising rapidly (as they have in recent years) the money we’ve used to buy food storage seems to generate higher returns than money we have in a high-interest savings account.

Perhaps the most important reason for storing food is that doing so will bring a sense of peace to us and our families. Members of the Church can take comfort in the fact that they have followed the counsel of those whom we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators and that their best efforts will be magnified in times of crisis. And anyone—Mormon or not—can take comfort in knowing that no matter what challenges they face in life, they’ll never have to send their children to bed with empty stomachs.

I think the major motivator for me in creating a supply of food and water for my family at home is the peace and comfort that I have done what I could to prepare my family for harder times. Even if I don’t experience a major disaster in my lifetime, I hope I am teaching my children valuable tools of self reliance that can be passed down for generations to prepare them for the inevitable ups and downs of life.

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~by Brenda

I cannot remember much of my middle school years aside from choir. I lived for choir. My teacher could play the piano like Mozart and could pin point any person in our class of fifty and let them know if they was sharp or flat while we were singing all the parts together. Her musical ear was infallible. One of the greatest moments in my middle school experience was the day we talked Mrs. Walker into taking off her wig. She didn’t normally wear a wig in fact, she had perfectly poofy brown hair that always looked immaculate. But on occasion, I imagine on days she was getting close to or had missed her hair appointment, she would wear a wig to class.

One day Mrs. Walker made us a deal. If we could sing our competition piece perfectly she would reward us by taking off her wig. We did our very best, and Mrs. Walker agreed to remove her wig at the end of class. As the bell rang she reluctantly pulled off her wig, threw her arms over her head and  ran back into her office and turned out the lights. Oh how we screamed with delight! We loved that she kept her promise to us and loved it even more that she was embarrassed. Mrs. Walker will always have a special place in my heart.

Every day as part of our vocal warm ups Mrs. Walker would have us sing a song that she called “Fill My Cup.” Here are the words:

Fill my cup

Let it overflow

Let it overflow with LOVE.

We would repeat those verses several times and each time Mrs. Walker would add more color and improvisation to the melody on her piano. As I sang those verses I could fill my cup getting filled. The wear and tear of being an awkward tween would be washed away and I remember feeling at peace as I sang those words.

Twice a year the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds a General Conference for its worldwide membership. At this Conference our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, speaks, along with his Counselors Dieter F. Uchtdorf and Henry B. Eyring. All of the Twelve Apostles speak. We also hear from our prominent women leaders like Julie B. Beck or Elaine S. Dalton or others. These meetings are typically held the first weekends of April and October. Being March, I can feel my heart and soul pitching forward in anticipation of General Conference as it is just a few weeks away.  I want to hear and feel the words that will fill my spiritual cup for another six months. I make time in my schedule to listen to all eight hours of conference as they happen in real time. Then I follow up by pouring over the written word as it is printed and mailed out in our monthly magazine, The Ensign.

I can only relate to you how much I love General Conference by calling up those words that I sang in middle school. General Conference fills my cup, lets it overflow, lets it overflow with love. For two days I feel the peace of the Lord in my heart and in my home.  Similar to choir class there are times during General Conference where I feel like I am being singled out for being to sharp or too flat and I’ll feel the need to change or repent. That’s OK, because learning to sing means learning to know how to be in tune. General Conference helps me learn how to be in tune with the spirit of the Lord.

You may wonder what Prophets and Apostles speak about at General Conference. Here are some samplings of messages they’ve given in recent years. These videos are taken from actual General Conference addresses but have been edited to include pictures and music to enhance the message.

Our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson teaching about life after death

An Easter message by an Apostle, Jeffrey R. Holland

President Uchtdorf, an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ (and current member of the First Presidency), teaches us about creation

If you are feeling like your spiritual cup is running low, I invite you to watch General Conference with us this April 2 and 3, 2011. I hope that you can come away from these meetings feeling uplifted and inspired, so much that your cup runneth over.

General Conference can be viewed at home via Satellite on the BYU-TV station, over the Internet at LDS.org and in many of the local meeting houses world-wide.

You can learn more about General Conference and how to view or attend Conference here.

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Last week, I wrote about my experiences at Brigham Young University with the Honor Code. A week earlier Michelle wrote a post about education and lifelong learning being a tenet of our faith.

Some may wonder: How do LDS young adults who don’t attend BYU maintain their faith and values at other schools around the world?

They attend institute!

What is Institute? Here is a fun video that explains just that. Institute is a combination of weekly religious instruction and social activities provided for young adults ages 18-30. There are often times Institute buildings that are located directly adjacent to many of the major US colleges and Universities. Where an Institute Building is not present, religious instruction will take place in our congregational buildings. Even outside of the US, Institute programs are providing social and learning opportunities to young adults worldwide.

After graduating from BYU I moved to Salt Lake City for a job. The apartment building I lived in was within the ward boundaries of a young single adult ward that held worship services at the Institute buildings on the University of Utah campus. My ward (congregation) consisted of young adults who were attending courses at the University of Utah, graduates, post-graduates and working professionals like myself.  It was very fun ward and I made friends easily after moving.  After graduating from BYU I wanted to continue my religious instruction so I enrolled in the Institute courses at the U of U and took classes at night after work. I enjoyed my Institute classes at the University of Utah just as much as the religion courses I took at BYU.

Young single adult wards and Institute courses are available worldwide, but are typically centered around Colleges and Universities. Using the Institute locator website I found that there are 95 different Institute programs in California, 19 in New York state, 16 in Samoa and 9 in the Democratic Republic of Congo!

Here is a sampling of answers about Institute that I found at the FAQ page about Institutes at LDS.org

What is Institute?

With a worldwide enrollment of 350,000 students in over 2,500 locations, there is an institute near you. Institute is a safe haven from the pressures, trials, and challenges of the world. Institute is concerned with education for eternity and provides an opportunity for students to be touched and nurtured by the spirit through classes and activities.

Who Can Attend?

Institutes of religion provide weekday religious instruction for single and married postsecondary students. Married students and young single adults 18-30 are also welcome to attend. Adult religion classes are available for those over 30.  A variety of free distance-learning classes, including religion courses are  also available.

How Do I Participate?

Just walk into the institute building. A friendly face or two will welcome you and tell you about the classes being taught and the activities that are planned. If you’re not sure where your local institute class meets, Find an Institute.

The young adult wards and the Institute programs offered by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints offer a safety net of faith and friendship to members of our faith ages 18-30 worldwide. You don’t have to be a member of the LDS church to attend Institute, in fact here is an invitation from our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.

“If you are a single college student, I ask you to make participation in institute a priority. Married students and other young adults are also welcome and encouraged to attend. Think of it. Friends will be made, the Spirit will be felt, and faith will be strengthened. I promise you that as you participate in institute and study the scriptures diligently, your power to avoid temptation and to receive direction of the Holy Ghost in all you do will be increased. Divine favor will attend those who humbly seek it. That is a promise which I leave with you.”

I want to share one last (super cheesy) video with you entitled “I’ve gotta get to Institute“

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