Deseret News
Published: Sunday, Jan. 15, 2012 7:00 p.m. MST

David Letterman knows how to get a laugh.Like most comics, he riffs on the day’s news, deadpans the camera and revels in audacity.”Oh, did you hear about this?” the host of CBS’ Late Show with David Letterman asked his audience recently. “A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, now, wait a minute — isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?”
Laughter rumbled from the audience followed by applause. The polygamy punch line is a familiar one when it comes to poking fun at Mormons — as though Mormons and polygamy are synonymous in mainstream media. Ironically, the practice that’s most linked to Mormons is a practice most Mormons oppose, according to a groundbreaking new study of Mormons in America released Thursday by the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life.

According to the study, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints unequivocally reject polygamy — only 2 percent said the practice is morally acceptable — evidence of a yawning gap in what Mormons believe and how they are perceived. Mormons’ opinions are overwhelmingly conservative, the study shows, but in many ways, their views are also surprising — especially when it comes to opinions on moral issues, divorce, homosexuality and polygamy.

Morality

Mormons also take a significant stance on moral issues in other areas, such as divorce, sex outside of marriage and consumption of alcohol.
Although teachings from the LDS Church emphasize the importance and eternal nature of t

he family, only 25 percent of Mormons surveyed said divorce is morally wrong, according to the study. That means Mormons are slightly less morally opposed to divorce than the general public.
“For Catholics, divorce does not exist. They think it is not only wrong but it is impossible,” said Matthew Bowman, member of a board of expert advisers to the Pew Research Center for the study and author of “The Mormon People,” a book on the history of the LDS Church. “That has not been true for Mormons. There is theological space for divorce within Mormonism. It is undesirable, but Mormons recognize it is sometimes necessary and sometimes the right thing to do.”

Other moral views revealed in the survey — 54 percent said drinking alcohol was morally wrong, compared with 15 percent of the general public — set Mormons apart, Bowman says. The assumption on the part of non-Mormons is that if Mormons think drinking alcohol is wrong, then they must think everyone who imbibes is morally flawed. That apprehension can make people suspicious of Mormons, and wary of an elitist attitude, he says.

Differences in moral viewpoints can create a stumbling block for Mormon acceptance — not only in high-profile arenas, such as a presidential election, but also in communities.
“What you find throughout the report is a tension,” said David Campbell, assistant professor at Notre Dame and an adviser on the study. “Mormons like to use the phrase, ‘Be in the world but not of the world.’ They are certainly living their lives in the world. They are active and involved in their communities, but they have these beliefs and practices that set them apart a little bit, and sometimes there is conflict.”

Homosexuality

Mormons have some of the most conservative opinions when it comes to homosexuality. The survey asked Mormons if homosexuality should be accepted by society or discouraged by society, with an option for neither, both or “don’t know.” The response — 26 percent said homosexuality should be accepted, 65 percent said it should be discouraged — puts Mormons as the least likely to say homosexuality should be accepted by society. But a 26 percent acceptance rate, with roughly 1 in 4 Mormons saying homosexuality should be accepted, might be surprisingly high to some.

Of particular interest is the fact that only 8 percent of Mormons surveyed identified themselves as liberal, and 66 percent said they were conservative. That means some of those who said homosexuality should be accepted also identify themselves as politically conservative, Bowman says. That distinction illustrates the complexity of Mormons’ opinion on sexuality — that it is rooted more in religious precepts than politics.
Still, it’s difficult to draw a conclusion about Mormons’ views on homosexuality based on the study, says Pew Research Center adviser Terryl Givens, professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond.

“Results need to be viewed cautiously,” Givens says. “Official LDS pronouncements insist there is a distinction between (sexual) orientation and behavior, but the survey blurs that difference, probably leaving many Mormons unsure how to answer that question. What is clear, however, is that Mormons are trending toward greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, just as society as a whole is, although by a much smaller percentage.”

Polygamy

At one point 120 years ago, some Mormons practiced plural marriage, hence the association between Mormons and polygamy. The practice was discontinued in 1890, but the cultural association persists, perhaps in part because Mormons are sometimes confused with members of the Fundamentalist LDS Church, a polygamist group not affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

In the October-November 2011 study of a national sample of 1,019 Mormons, 86 percent said polygamy is morally wrong. That’s a number that surprises Bowman.

Were it not for the confusion surrounding Mormons and the FLDS Church practice of plural marriage, Bowman says that statistic might not be as high.

“It’s my experience that Mormons have a fraught relationship with polygamy,” Bowman said of the study results. “There is a sense that rejecting polygamy identifies a member of the LDS Church and distinguishes us from the fundamentalists. That is a cultural signifier as much as a theological statement.”

Some who responded to the survey, 11 percent, said polygamy is not a moral issue.
Email: achoate@desnews.com

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When I was pregnant with my second child, and deathly ill with so-called morning sickness, I wrote in my family blog that there was a reason for my trials.  There must be something I needed to learn.

After I posted my explanation, I received a letter deploring me for my opinion. In the writers’ minds, a loving Heavenly Father does not put his children through pain and suffering, like what I was experiencing.  Though I appreciated their sentiments,  I disagree.

Recently I had an awful miscarriage. Not only did I lose the much-wanted pregnancy, but I endured terrible pain weeks after. It was heartbreaking. Yet,  two weeks into the pain,  I finally decided that I couldn’t waste my life away on the couch. I needed to get up and go.

During this difficult time, I read Elder Martino’s talk from April’s General Conference entitled “All Things Work Together for Good.”  In it he said,

Our trials come in many forms, but each will allow us to become more like the Savior as we learn to recognize the good that comes from each experience.

The pain I felt from the miscarriage hasn’t left. Initially, it was really hard for me to understand what good could come from this experience. Every time I felt the pain, I remembered the loss. At the same time, I couldn’t become bitter over this trial. I wasn’t even sure if it would ever end. What else should I do?

Elder Martino explained,

Now, I realize that it is much easier to look back when a trial is over and see what we have learned from our experience, but the challenge is to gain that eternal perspective while we are going through our tests.

After reading these words I realized what my challenge was: To take a step back and allow faith to fill my heart. I still don’t know what lesson I am supposed to learn, but I do know that I’ve grown closer to Heavenly Father. I’ve also become more compassionate for those who experience chronic pain and can now empathize with their frustrations.

Towards the end of his talk, Elder Martino summarized a difficult and important principle.

Sometimes we pass through pain and sorrow that we might grow and be prepared for potential trials in the future. I ask a question to you mothers: ‘Would you ever do something that would cause pain and bring tears to your children when they have done nothing wrong?’ Of course you would! When mothers take young children to the doctor to receive immunizations, almost every child leaves the doctor’s office in tears. Why do you do that? Because you know that a small amount of pain now will protect them from possible pain and suffering in the future. Our Father in Heaven knows the end from the beginning. We need to follow the example of the Savior and trust in Him.

One thing I am slowly learning is that though trials are hard, they shape me into the type of person Heavenly Father knows I am capable of becoming.  Coping with daily pain is not something I expected to experience; however, it is something I am called upon to bear.  It is my responsibility to bear this burden well.

The post Coping With Pain: My Personal Trial appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

While I generally throw a pity party for myself during his long days, sometimes a revelation pushes through my sorrow. Last week this happened.

In order for us  to re-register our car in our state, we must pass a safety test. We failed the test and are required to fix certain things. Expensive things. To afford this, my husband worked 80 hours straight while also juggling classes, papers, and finals. On top of it all, he worried about our little family. He worried about me.

Yeah, my overworked husband came home one night and apologized for working so much. I felt more than a little ashamed. The next morning, a sentence ran through my head from the The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

This is what my husband does.

He presides. Even though he works in the evenings, he continues to look after our spiritual well-being.  He reminds me to hold Family Home Evening, to read the scriptures, and to pray nightly. When he is home, he plays with the children, listens to my stories, and expresses love and gratitude for each of us. We all look forward to when Daddy is home.

He provides. He works long hours, while attending school, so that we can have the necessities: shelter, food, and clothes.  He works extra shifts when needed–like when our car breaks down or if we will need to visit the doctor’s office.

He protects. Each day he leaves us with a prayer, asking the Lord to protect our little family. While he may not be at home, his faith is present.  His faith help keep us safe.

My husband worked on Father’s Day, but I still celebrated him. He came home too late for a dinner but we shared a little dessert–his favorite ice cream. I hope, though, I will continue to celebrate him throughout the year by my own actions.

The post A Father’s Responsibility and The Proclamation on the Family appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

It had been a rough day. It was one of those shake-my-fists-at-heaven-sort of days. After struggling through hours upon hours of my little guy’s cries, I felt ready to throw in the towel.

I looked toward Heaven and cried out “Why? Why are you sending my husband to medical school? Why were we supposed to have kids so soon? Why, why why?”

I took my guy and sat in the squeaky rocking chair.

Rock, squeak. Rock, squeak. Sniffle, sniffle. Repeat.

My heart echoed Joseph Smith’s petition unto the Lord–“O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?” (D&C 121: 1)

Rock, squeak. Rock, squeak. Sniffle, sniffle. Repeat.

I felt the Spirit tickling my pride, persuading me into prayer. I fought until the squeaky rocking chair and my tears were no longer comforting.

I swallowed my pride and earnestly prayed for inspiration. The calm I sought gradually came. With it I felt impressed to open the scriptures to a passage in the Doctrine & Covenants. Curiously, I was directed to a verse given to a woeful Joseph Smith during his harsh sojourn in the horrendous depths of Liberty Jail.

“The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?” (D&C 122:8)

This verse follows a long list of trials and tribulations that the Lord’s saints may be called upon to bear. It is not meant to be harsh or derogatory. It’s purpose is to remind Joseph, and all of us, that our pain and suffering has already been borne by a perfect Man: Jesus Christ, our Savior. The message is clear–what we suffer now pales in comparison to what Jesus suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus Christ has taken our sins and all of our pains unto himself. Who better, then, can we turn to for comfort?

The next verse illustrates this:

“Therefore, hold on thy way…fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.” (D&C 122:9)

I quickly recognized that I had turned my back on the Savior’s love. This turned my pride into shame. I prayed again in a different spirit–a spirit of humility rather than an accusatory spirit. I prayed for peace.

My questions were not answered and I didn’t expect them to be. Yet, I was reassured that we were doing the right thing. The road will be tough, but I, we, are not alone. For that I am grateful.

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