~by Jess

Hi!  My name is Jessica but most just call me Messy Jess.  I grew up in the Mormon Church. I married in the temple at age 26 and eight years later I am happy to be a stay-at-home mom with four children. I like to be active and busy.  My two favorite things right now is photographing my children’s every move and working out at the gym.

As a child I moved over 45 times before I graduated from high school.  Life was hard.  Most of my life lessons were learned from my mother as she lived the gospel as a single parent.  Her life was full of grace and sacrifice and service.  It is because of my mother that I have become who I am today.

I gained my true testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ after I graduated from high school.  Until then the gospel was something that had been taught to me – the ways of my family.  I took care of many children in their homes as their caregiver.  I experienced different ways of lifestyles and religion.  I spent summers on the island of Nantucket where many churches bellowed their sermons and music filled the Sunday morning air.  I relished the time I spent wandering from church to church being a guest in their house of worship.  It made me question the way I was raised and made me think about God and his purpose.

I pondered how Joseph Smith must have felt with so many churches claiming to be the true church as well as the faith and desire he had to serve God and to know who He was.  I myself wanted to know God and to know what God wanted from me.  I wanted to know if the things my mother had taught me were true.  I needed to know for myself if the things written in the scriptures were true.

I think it is through trials that I have grown closer to God. I think he wants us to remember Him and he wants us to talk with him in prayer.  He has always given me what I needed to progress and learn and grow. He has placed people in my life to help me.  Friends, teachers, mentors, and family.  Even when I felt alone I was never forgotten.  There were gentle reminders if I chose to look for them.

I am grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to know that I have a loving Father in Heaven and the miracles of forgiveness is through my Savior Jesus Christ.  I am so blessed to be able to teach this to my children so that they know who they are and whom to look for when they need encouragement or comfort and even to know whom to give thanks to.

Having a testimony of the gospel isn’t just something you believe in….it’s the way you live day to day.  It is who you are.  A child of God.  I pray that you will have the courage to allow God’s spirit in your life.  Yours truly, Jess

The post Portraits of Mormon Women: Jess appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

One morning, a few months ago, I stood next to my husband, Dustin, in front of the mirror in our bathroom. I think we were both brushing our teeth. My thoughts for the previous several days had dwelt on men and women, their roles, their differences. You see, I had just read a book that was set in a different time when men had to be warriors. A time when they had to protect and defend their wives, families and country. Dustin and I were both bare shouldered because it was morning and we weren’t dressed yet. As we were standing next to each other in front of the mirror, I couldn’t help but observe the differences between him and me, a man and a woman. His shoulders are broad, well-muscled and strong. While I am a fairly strong woman, I relished the study of his shoulder versus mine. I looked so small next to him. So delicate. So… feminine.

A friend of ours recently passed away, leaving behind a wife and two small children. As we went to the viewing and hugged each of his family members who attended his body, his newly-widowed wife hugged me fiercely and, through her sobs, conveyed to me that this just isn’t fair! She didn’t want this! This wasn’t supposed to happen! They were supposed to grow old together! She isn’t supposed to be a widow at 28 years old! Her feelings of confusion, anger, heartache and sorrow washed over me. All I could do was sob and tell her, “I’m sorry.”

If tragedy were to strike my family as it did our friends’, I know I could take care of myself and that I could provide for my children if the need arose. I’ve always known that and I have confidence in myself and my capabilities. That being said, the events of the last few weeks made me realize that I cherish being taken care of. It is a joy, a privilege, and a blessing. I treasure that my husband’s main desire is to provide for his wife and his children. I honor the fact that he is a man who wants to be the breadwinner. I relish my role of being a feminine woman who knows she can take care of herself, but allows her husband the honor of doing it for her.

And, for me in my life, the complete awareness of my own capabilities coupled with the choice to be dependent on my husband, despite what I can do or be, is a choice I make willingly and gratefully.  A choice that has born the sweet fruit of joy and mutual respect between him and me, a husband and a wife.

Clancy grew up right in the middle of her family of seven… mom, dad, sister, brother, Clancy, sister, brother.  She is now the happily married mother of three and a half children ages 9, 7, 4 and a baby due in March.  Her interests include (but are not limited to) writing, singing, being with her family and playing Ultimate Frisbee.  Having been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints her whole life, she is currently enjoying the fulfillment of her calling as Ward Choir Director.

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