Have we not been reassured about the fall of one sparrow and that the very hairs of our heads are numbered? (see Matt. 10:29–30; D&C 84:80). God is in the details! (Neal A. Maxwell, “Encircled in the Arms of His Love,” Ensign, Nov. 2002, 16)

During a routine obstetric ultrasound I was told that I needed to be induced immediately to give birth to my fifth child, just two weeks shy of my due date. I was not expecting that. My ultrasound revealed too little amniotic fluid and that the baby could be in danger. Because I knew that ultrasound measurements can be unreliable, I requested to talk to my doctor. I finally saw him a few hours later and asked him to repeat the ultrasound. Again the measurements showed too little amniotic fluid.

I knew I was dehydrated and hungry so I asked to be released to go home and eat, drink some water, pack, and see my kids before being induced. I had a strong desire to go home and be with my children and to call my parents. (I usually only called them on Sundays and this was Monday.) The doctor was okay with that, with the agreement that I would return in two hours to be induced.

I went home with my husband and ate a big dinner, drank lots of water, called and talked to my mom in California and let her know what was going on. My dad was on his way out the door for his daily bike ride and he got on the phone very quickly to wish me luck. I explained to my dad what was happening and that we would be having the baby soon. He said, “Break a leg, Kid! Well, having a baby is a piece of cake for you. You know how to do this!”

Little did I know that was the last time I would ever hear his voice in this life. An hour later on our way to the hospital we discovered that he had had a massive heart attack on his bike ride and had died. He was 49. We rode to the hospital in shock, while I sobbed until I threw up. How was I going to have a baby now?

Our doctors were wonderful and they gave us a private room and left us alone for a few hours until they came in once more to apologize and offer comfort. Then they again said they needed to induce because of the amniotic fluid. I asked again for one more ultrasound. I had been drinking a lot of water to improve my hydration level so I needed another opinion. They did another one and found that my level had gone from a 1 to a 7 in just a few hours of hydration! I was elated and relieved. However, they still suggested induction. (A normal level is about 10 and up.) I requested to stay overnight and be on an I.V. drip and fluids to hydrate me and check again in the morning since the baby’s heart tones were perfectly fine and in no distress at the time. They thought that was reasonable, so I was able to stay overnight.

I received a blessing from my husband and my doctor who promised me that I would have the birth that I desired and that we would all be healthy and that emotionally I would be able to handle this. I was able to finally talk to my mom and cry with her. I couldn’t believe I was preparing for giving birth with my daddy just barely gone. I was grateful for that night to prepare for what lay ahead.

A scripture I had previously read kept coming to my head:

“Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give ye rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

I repeated that over and over in my mind that night, my pillow soaked with my tears.

Unbeknownst to me, earlier that night, my grandmother (my Dad’s mom) had received the news that my dad had had a heart attack. She did not know yet that he had passed away, nor that I was preparing to go to the hospital to have a baby. She and my grandfather knelt down together immediately to pray for him and for our family. As they prayed, my grandmother heard a distinct voice tell her, “Gregg is bringing the baby.” She had no clue what that meant until she found out my dad had died and that the baby was on her way. While we don’t really know the details of how and when the spirit of life enters a baby’s body, I like to think that perhaps the time spent that night waiting it out and preparing was time for my dad to give instruction and counsel, and to send his granddaughter to earth.

The next day my amniotic fluid level was back down to 1 despite my efforts that night. I was induced and gave birth very easily and quickly, though emotionally it was very trying. I could feel my dad there; he was with me. It was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life… intense joy at the life of a new babe all through the sorrow of the death of my father. I reflected on the cycle of life and I was lifted up. My promised blessings came true and I was given peace as I held my newborn baby in my arms.

The Lord is in all the little details of our lives.

– by Stephanie

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As I left the Missionary Training Center (MTC) to enter the missionary experience, I felt a strong sense of certainty that there was in front of me a vast sea of experiences to be had. I was anxious to share the gospel that I had been taught all of my life. With a renewed sense of urgency and confidence in my ability as a servant of the Lord, I embarked on my journey.

The first six weeks of my mission were spent in Sacramento, California. I had been called to Portugal, but was awaiting a visa before I could travel there. I distinctly remember the feelings I had as I arrived in my first area and met my companions. A sort of realization washed over me and I sensed that the days of dreaming about golden investigators, packages from home, and letters from a “waiting” boyfriend were now becoming a reality about which I was very uncertain. The feeling, as I can best describe it, is not unlike the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you are sitting in your seat on a ride at an amusement park and the bar suddenly locks into place.

About six weeks later, in my first area in Portugal, my companion and I walked along the busy streets of Lisbon, contacting people as they passed by. I had only been in Portugal a few days and had found that the Portuguese I had learned in the MTC differed vastly from the language the people were speaking. I felt insecure in my ability to both understand and communicate. I felt ineffective as a missionary as I easily became lost in conversations. As we walked home one rainy night after a particularly frustrating evening, I felt discouraged. I felt lonely and hoped I was not wasting the Lord’s time. I felt very far from my family and friends, far outside of my comfort zone, and afraid that I was not going to be up to this task.

It was in this rainy state of mind, when I heard in my head the words to a hymn:

“Fear not I am with thee, be not afraid for I am thy God and will still give thee aid” (“How Firm a Foundation,” Hymn #85).

That night I looked up the scripture in Isaiah 41:10,13, which reads:

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”

I was able to derive from these words the hope that I so critically needed. I felt that I did not have to rely only on my ability, but that Heavenly Father was watching over me and would help me. Whenever I hear that hymn I think of that rainy night and feel in my heart a warm confirmation from my Father who believes in me.

– by Alli

(Did you notice that you can listen to an MP3 recording of this hymn? Find more hymns here. You can download MP3s of music as well.)

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To struggle is the program.

Of course, you can imagine the kinds of conversations that brought on that teaching. Who wants to hear that the pain and struggle they are going through is supposed to be part of life? I sure didn’t. I wanted things to be easier, period. (I would often wonder (and still sometimes do): This is what I signed up for in the premortal world and shouted for joy about?)

In moments of spiritual clarity, however, of course I know he is right. We are here to be tested, to learn from our experiences, to learn faith through the trials that come. Of course, life is also full of rich and wonderful blessings, so it’s not like he was trying to be pessimistic or gloomy. We are that we might have joy, right? But still, sometimes it is in the struggle that we learn to appreciate the joy all the more. I look at my life and really can see blessings that struggling has brought, and I am (usually) grateful for the growth.

Lately, Dad’s words have been distilling on me in a slightly different way, thanks to some discussions with my husband, who has been reflecting on how life is a process, not a bunch of events. How often are we focused on the events in life: the next appointment, the next project, the next piano lesson for the children, the next family scripture time, the next big opportunity, the next stage of life when “all of our troubles will fade”? The list of “things to do” or “things we want” or even the goals we set can sometimes dominate our lives and our thinking. As my husband and I have talked, we have realized, perhaps more profoundly than ever, that it’s possible that a focus on events could also cause us to miss the purpose of life and the opportunity to enjoy and benefit from the journey, and especially to build relationships with God and the people around us.

I think Nephi understood this concept. In 2 Nephi 31, he spends considerable time teaching about the critical nature of baptism, the ordinance necessary to get us into “the strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life” (v. 18). This is an event that is absolutely essential to salvation. And yet, after expounding on the blessings of baptism, Nephi asks an important question:

And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done?

And then, of course, he answers his own question by saying, “Behold, I say unto you, Nay” (v. 19).

The event of baptism is not enough. Indeed, we could plug any important event into this equation. Is all done when we receive the ordinances of the temple? When we married to our spouse? What about the day-to-day events of life and of gospel living? Do we say one prayer and we are done? Do the dishes once and check it off the list forever? Is all ever done? Sometimes that very fact that be exhausting! There is always another meal to cook, another weed to pull, another paycheck to be earned, another church meeting to attend. Clearly, the purpose of life is not really to “be done”!

Nephi teaches us what our lives should be about in verses 20 and 21:

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way….

No event, whether temporal or spiritual, will ever render our work “done.” No goal accomplished is ever sufficient to get us Home. We are here to struggle — not only to struggle in the sense of struggling through pain and trials, but to work hard and to work tirelessly and to work consistently. In short, nothing short of steadfastly enduring to the end (with faith, hope and charity along the way) will be enough to accomplish our work on earth.

Dad’s teaching has taken on a new light for me. Heavenly Father sent us here to learn the process of Christlike living and being. No event alone can make that happen, no matter how grand the event may be. It’s in the struggle, in the striving, in the pressing forward, in the enduring (in both spiritual and temporal elements of our lives), that the Lord can mold and shape and change us. The ordinances and commandments, as well as our day-to-day to-do lists, are only steps in the process, means to a potentially glorious end. The growth God desires for us comes in the struggle to make the most of every day, to repent when we make mistakes, and to build relationships with God and with our families that can take us into eternity.

I am convinced that this is part of why we hear so much about the importance of family life in the Church — because the consistent, repetitive work and the process of growth is so important in those family relationships. In fact, a quote from a talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks comes to mind even as I write that:

Now is the time for each of us to work toward…becoming what our Heavenly Father desires us to become. As we do so, we should remember that our family relationships…are the setting in which the most important part of that development can occur…. Exaltation [eternal life] is an eternal family experience, and it is our mortal family experiences that are best suited to prepare us for it.

To struggle is the program. More than ever before, Dad, I believe you are right. But that concept is exciting me more than ever because it has taken on new meaning. Life is a process and it’s through continual effort and focus that I can continue to grow closer to God.

-Michelle L.

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