~by Jeanette Green

You can read a bit more about Jeanette, the mother of a daughter with microcephaly and another daughter who is adopted, here.

Now that it’s February, perhaps many of us are, sadly, done talking about our resolutions. Perhaps our ideas and plans for the year, our goals for self-improvement and personal progression, have faded — or are beginning to, anyway. I have always been goal-oriented, so for me, I enjoy the New Year’s tradition of setting resolutions for the year. I like the tradition, but I don’t necessarily join in. I usually find that I have ongoing goals and so I use the New Year to remind and recommit myself to some of those goals I’ve already made. But, even though I’ve never been a New Year Resolution Die-Hard, surprisingly I have always been a bit sad when others have declared their feelings that New Year’s Resolutions are a silly idea.

This last Christmas, after the gifts had been torn open and we were lounging about, I decided that despite the rain I should go running. It was a very peaceful run. There were few people out. Traffic was quiet. The rain softly fell down and the water sped down the hill. I passed a few other joggers, but for the most part, I felt alone in my thoughts. It was the first time in a few months that I had felt that peace. I had uninterrupted time to think of my children, my husband, our future. I thought about what was important to me. I smiled. I even cried as I thought about our daughter and the blessing her disabilities have been in my life.

I thought about Christmas and the affect this season has on the entire world. As a Mormon child, I had been taught that we are all born with the light of Christ burning within us. That light leads us to truth. This time of year, I believe that the light of Christ within us all grows brighter. Perhaps because our spirits recognize the truth of our Savior’s life and ministry on this earth we desire to be more charitable. No matter our religious views, we all seem kinder, gentler, more patient and caring, willing to serve and have more desire to slow down to be with our family and friends. These are Christ-like attributes that we seem to want to emulate during the time when we celebrate the birth of our Savior. It’s a beautiful thing.

As I conquered the steep beastly hill, my legs ached and wanted to stop, but my thoughts continued. From Christmas, I thought of the tradition of setting new goals for the New Year. And I had a moment of clarity; it all made sense. You see, for a month or so, the world focuses on the Lord. Some may go to church more often. Some may read verses of scriptures. We sing carols, many bearing testimony of the birth of Jesus Christ. As I’ve already mentioned, we are kind, patient, think of others first – whether we are aware of it or not, we are being Christ-like, for a month – at least. How appropriate, then, is it that we would have the desire and be motivated to improve upon ourselves and become more like Him? I think most of us don’t even realize that this is the process that we are experiencing – becoming more like Him – but I believe that’s exactly what we are doing. We believe that we are on this earth to progress, and it’s awfully hard to progress if we don’t see within ourselves what we must work on. Even losing weight, probably the number one resolution year after year, makes us healthier, gives us more energy. With that health and energy we are better able to serve others, have more quality time with those we love. I do believe that our Father in Heaven wants us to be healthy and take care of the bodies He has given us. Truly all resolutions help us become a little bit more like the One we are trying to be like.

After having that moment of clarity (whether I was able to convey it in writing or not), I have decided to allow the Spirit’s encouraging influence to motivate me to become better – to join the millions who make resolutions at the New Year.  Indeed, it’s a good time to reflect on how I can improve and become a new me for the New Year. And, if I “fail” or don’t “keep” my resolutions, then maybe they will be on my list of things to work on in June – or perhaps even in January 2012. However, I know that in my attempt to improve, I become more Christ-like, and that, in my humble opinion, counts for something.

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“Our busy lives force us to focus on things we do from day to day. But the development of character comes only as we focus on who we really are.”

—Elder Russell M. Nelson, 2000

There is something fantastic and magical about the beginning of a new year. Sort of like the feeling I try to impress upon my kids as they rest their weary heads on their pillows after a “bad day,” feeling all but defeated by the world.  We often repeat to each other in a courageous attempt to move forward “tomorrow, is a fresh start!” A new year is definitely a fresh start in so many ways but so is every day, indeed, a  fresh start. The day-to-day increments of improving ones self is powerful and profound, particularly as you look back on the windy road traveled. A new year provides a splendid opportunity to sit back, ponder, pray and evaluate your life, where you are relative to where/who you want to be. It is only upon reflecting on where you have come from, that you see how far you have gone, sometimes one time breath at a time.

In the refining process of life, trial and error, we gradually become new people, shaped by our choices and the many consequences (good or bad) that follow. Growing and progressing with each and every day, (hopefully) becoming better and better with every bend in the road, a  truly magnificent opportunity. One of my favorite quotes from Elder Neal A. Maxwell is about the opportunity we can gain as we face trials:

Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us. (Neal A. Maxwell, “Enduring Well,” Apr. 1997.)

This is so very profound! SO often I lay down my head at the close of a day, feeling as if I have taken a beating from every direction, but in that is a glistening opportunity for me to become and BE a better human being, a better woman, a better daughter of God. If our goal is to ultimately be more like Him (which mine is), to live in His presence one day, then how could I possibly expect to go through life without having experiences (often times trying) that indeed sanctify?

There is an interesting dichotomy in life which suggests we are suppose to be happy and content with who we are and the lives we have been given but to also have goals and be working towards something more. I believe there is a divine balance (that in and of it’s self is a personal goal of mine) that when done with inspiration is a extraordinary way to navigate through life with purpose.  Setting meaningful and thoughtful goals is a perfect opportunity to sanctify, cleanse, rid our selves of the unneeded “baggage” we so often get attached to. Goals, when committed to, help us step out off idle and get moving forward. Setting goals can be painful at times because it requires us to be vulnerable and look squarely at our weaknesses and areas that need growth or improvement. That is hard, Anais Nin said it perfectly “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”. That is the overwhelming fidgety feeling I get every January 1st as I contemplate my list of goals aka “New Years Resolutions.” Sure there is always a little disappointment at what didn’t happen, but unfailingly  SO much more did SO I gladly take the plunge to dig deep, soul search into those areas of my life that need it most, even if it stings a bit, that is OK.

I heard someone recently say “goals, sham-oales… why bother… why set myself up for disappointment…?” Clearly they were not intrigued with the opportunity to set what could be life-changing goals and feel defeated at the list of past unachieved goals.  I was saddened at this comment because I knew the joy that comes from working everyday to achieve goals and the sublime satisfaction of knowing I am working (sometimes relentlessly) toward becoming a better person. I have a quote in my entry way that says “Everyday try a little harder, to be a little better.” That is the essence of why we are here. Some days those movements are minuscule and other days they are huge strides, the point being, it is important that we are progressing in one way or another, everyday. A life without goals is a life without direction.

Howard W. Hunter said “True greatness…always requires regular, consistent, small, and sometimes ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time. (“True Greatness,”  1982.)

For me, the New Year tends to magnify my life experiences and in that context, brings into focus all that I am still yearning to become. The opportunity to set goals, re-evaluate who I am and where I am going is not something I take lightly rather it is a big deal. It is motivating and exciting to know I can become, with effort and diligence, a better person. Setting and achieving goals is a great way to become the person I desire most to be. One day, I hope to qualify completely to be in the presence of my Lord and Redeemer, the very one who made it possible for me to reform, change, and grow.

I am so grateful for the tradition of goal setting and the new year. It is a valuable tool that helps me along this path of life. It is a valuable tool that helps my children and husband too. As a family, at the beginning of every year ,we set family goals as well as personal goals. My husband and I also set goals for our marriage that have proven to be an extraordinary blessing and undoubtedly supplies us with a funny conversation as we look back at past years goals. 🙂 It helps us realize that life isn’t so bad, tomorrow really is  a fresh start. Even though at times it feels like we are treading water, we really are progressing in large part due to our efforts in keeping, remembering and striving to achieve our goals. If today did not yield to results we had hoped, we can keep those goals and aspirations close and focused and move forward with faith to the next day. There is peace in that. I love a new year and I love goals. Goals add meaning and substance to this wonderful thing called life!

Happy, Happy New Year! It is going to be a great one!

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