The power and purpose of the Relief Society can be found in the lives of individual women who strive to live lives of faith, strengthen homes and families, and serve others. Today, we celebrate the life of one such woman.

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~by Michelle

She died several years ago, but her influence remains strong and real in my life.

I remember when Juanita first crossed my path. She was in my stake [a geographical area consisting of about 8-10 ward congregations]. She came to our weekly Saturday stake volleyball activity, bald head wrapped, smart and cute, in a scarf.

She was a mother of nine, eight of whom were living. She was an exemplary wife and mom, focusing her energies and time on building a haven within her home and raising her children in faith. The partnership between her and her husband was powerful to observe. If you didn’t know how humble and wonderful she was, you would be intimated by her. But you couldn’t be intimidated. You just couldn’t because of who she was. How she was.

I found myself with the wonderful fortune of having her move into my ward when ward boundaries changed. Her cancer had been in remission. She was quickly called as our ward congregation’s Relief Society President.

We all quickly fell in love with her. She was unassuming, genuine, loving, faithful, and approachable. She invited every sister to her home for a gathering, just so she could get to know us all better. For the mothers of young children (which was me at the time), it was a breakfast. She wanted to know about our lives, our thoughts, our suggestions. She even implemented one of my ideas in a Relief Society class.

She had been our Relief Society President for only a few short months when the devastating news arrived: her cancer had returned. This time, it attacked not her breast but her liver and lungs. We were stunned. As a ward family, we mourned. We prayed. We fasted. We reached out in love as much as we could. Her family reached back, and shared intimate details of their struggle with us. We received regular emails updating us on their journey. They decided that they would open up their usually-private life so we could exercise our faith better, and so we could travel with them. It was one of the most unifying things I have ever experienced in a ward. Even in her pain, and even after she was released from her calling as Relief Society President, she taught and ministered through her faith and example.

Juanita Serving with Family in South America

Part of the reason I connected so much is because so many of the struggles she had were struggles I was having, just in a different context, and obviously to different degrees. I was dealing with undiagnosed chronic illness. I understood struggles with fear, concerns about the future and life and family and all of those things that surface when your health is in question. I was pretty sure that I didn’t have cancer, but there were still so many unknowns, so many concerns that were the same. I just empathized with her–and she did with me.

I will never forget the time when I left a Relief Society weeknight class and hid myself in an alcove. I sat on the stairs and just sobbed. I couldn’t handle the normalcy with which the presenter was talking about getting up just a little bit earlier to exercise. I used to be that person, an avid and active runner, willing to sacrifice a little sleep for precious exercise. But that was no longer my life. I was mourning the loss of that life. I felt different, and I felt alone. Like no one understood.

But someone did.

Juanita found me in that alcove. Here she was, facing the possibility that her cancer would not go away this time around. But she listened and let me unload my concerns and doubts and fears.

As I apologized for complaining about my life, especially given all that was going on in hers, I realized that the severity of her trials didn’t change what my trials were to me. That moment of clarity came: We can’t compare suffering. She obviously knew that. She never made me feel that she “won” because her health problems were worse. She just cared.

As things continued to get worse in her life, we as a ward family continued to exercise our faith together. Between pregnancy, nursing and health issues, I had only fasted a handful of times in several years, and one of those times was for her. We had very specific purposes to our fasting and prayers, and I felt strongly that we were exercising faith in a way that was pleasing to heaven. I had the sense that if she passed away, it would be God’s will, because I felt we were truly doing all we could do.

During this time, she would openly share her doubts and concerns and questions in Relief Society. These were the times I felt that much closer to her. Often, women weren’t sure even what to say, but oh, how I could understand the questions she asked, for I had asked many myself. What do you do with priesthood blessings that don’t seem fulfilled? How do you truly exercise faith? What do you do when your life doesn’t turn out as you expect or want it to? I think in the end she really understood the answers. Faith is not about getting what we want. It’s about submitting and trusting in whatever God’s will is. Ultimately, we have faith in Him, and in His eternal plan, and in His Son, and nothing else.

God’s will was made clear. She deteriorated rapidly in the end. She slipped peacefully into eternity on the day that I had anticipated finally going to her home to say my last and personal goodbye.

Later, I found out more about those final moments. She was ready to go. But she actually chose to wait a couple of hours before moving on, until her oldest daughter’s flight arrived and she could be in that room, too. Even with the morphine flowing in her system and even as the door of death was wide open, a miracle happened: Juanita was able to interact in priceless ways with her family, cracking jokes, sharing some last thoughts about the family’s future. She’d already spent time before creating keepsakes, recordings, and letters, so these final words were simple but full of love and unselfishness. Amazing.

Once the daughter arrived, the family then sang together, then prayed, then let her go.

I have no doubt that Juanita passed her test. And in doing so, she gave those around her more strength and desire to do the same. This journey, though poignant and difficult, was one also filled with light, peace, understanding, and hope. As she and her family shared the journey with us, they strengthened our testimonies about the truthfulness of the gospel, the plan of salvation, the reality of the spirit world, of the resurrection, of eternal families. It all reached me so deeply that I will never be the same.

I miss her. I love her. And I will be forever grateful for the influence she had on my life.

And, so, sometimes I still cry.

Juanita Serving Children in South America

The post “Sometimes I Still Cry” (A tribute to celebrate the Relief Society) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

In August of 2004 I first became acquainted with food storage. I had heard much about food storage in my life, but really had no idea what it was really about. To be honest, I still am a little vague on some of the details. However, a year in the city where I lived can really teach a person a lot. The town is right smack in the middle of good farmland. As a result, produce is cheap and plentiful, so people find ways to store it.

My parent’s must have canned when I was growing up because I have many memories of eating home-canned goods, but surprisingly ZERO memories of the canning process. I must have been very good at making myself scarce when work was threatened. In my new ward everyone was talking about getting ready to can. The peach and tomato crops were upon us and we had access to free fruit. So I had some figuring out to do.

At the time I was serving in the Relief Society Presidency (an organization for women in our church) I was also 7 months pregnant with my second son, which is a fairly irrelevant detail. The president at the time was Janell. Janell was the second of three Presidents that I was to work with in three short years. She had also recently moved to our city and was like a breath of fresh air. Janell was a mother of 7 grown children, made her own bread, had a testimony of wheat, and –most importantly–she was a Master Canner. I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as a Master Canner, but apparently through the local university system, you could take classes and become a Master at many things-gardening, canning, etc.

So we enlisted Janell to come over and teach a few of us rookies a thing or two. Many, many hours later she had imparted enough wisdom that we were all able to go home and finish canning our fruits and vegetables. I will never forget at the end of that late night, standing in my dining room, Janell telling us that she had a doctor’s appointment the following day since she was having trouble with her vision and remembering things. Two days later we found out that Janell had a brain tumor.

Of course this experience taught me many things. One of them was that I truly was not cut out to be a RS president in my age and pregnant state of mind. I learned that I was blessed to be surrounded by amazing women. The other members of our Presidency and I worked as a team as Janell continued to serve as President while ill. Janell was a source of inspiration and peace during this time. We visited and loved each other. We laughed and cried and got some work done. Janell eventually went into remission, a miracle to be sure. She enjoyed her family, friends and life in general until the cancer resurfaced last year. During the whole experience, Janell was a testifier. She testified of Christ, of the love of our heavenly father, of tender mercies, of miracles, of eternal families and of Wheat!

Janell passed away yesterday, confident in her knowledge of the plan of salvation, ready to be reunited with her family.

I am grateful for Janell. I often think of her and all that she taught me. Especially every summer when I pull out my mason jars and look over the canning notes about tomatoes from Janell, Master Teacher.

*Phoebe wrote this beautiful tribute on January 10th, 2009 after learning of her friend’s passing.

For more First Person essays, please click here.

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How do you create? Did President Uchtdorf’s words inspire you? Please tell us!

We would love to see photos of your creations, too. This could include almost anything: art, photography, sewing, cooking, gardening, writings, crafts, woodworking, clothing, music, etc. Please send photos of your creations, along with a simple explanation of how it was created and why, to mormonwoman at gmail dot com [or mormonwomen at gmail dot com]. We are looking forward to your submissions!

For more Weekly Questions, please click here.

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Annette has many roles in her life. First and foremost, she says she is a stay-at-home-mom: “That’s my most important role. But I’m also a novelist, freelance writer, and editor –something a bit easier to do now that the kiddies are in school.”  For the last three years, she has been serving in the church as a counselor in the Relief Society Presidency in her ward (congregation). Now she teaches the 17-year-old Sunday School class with her husband, which she finds very enjoyable.

Annette does not have much free time, since writing takes up most of it, but she loves to read and knit (as well as write!). Family is very important to her. She loves to go out with each of her children, one at a time, even if it’s just for errands or a special treat. On weekends they play a lot of board games, and lately she has been showing them a lot of classic movies (such as: Some Like It Hot and Singing in the Rain) and getting the kids hooked on them.

The following is Annette’s description of a spiritual experience she had:

“One of the earliest moments of what I feel was a real connection and communication with God was when I was sixteen and approaching jaw surgery. I was completely terrified, and the very mention of words like ‘doctor,’ ‘hospital,’ and ‘surgery’ made me instantly burst into tears. The day before the surgery was a Sunday, and my father gave me a Priesthood blessing. It promised that angels would be in the operating room guiding the surgeon’s hands and that through the experience I would learn wisdom, compassion, and understanding.

“From that point on, I didn’t cry again. I had a simple knowledge in my heart that everything would be okay. I was still nervous about the unknown, sure, but if I got emotional, I’d remember the peaceful feeling from the blessing, and the tears dried right up–even at the most intense moment when they wheeled me away from my parents. I won’t say that the next few months (horrid nausea, ICU, liquid diet, mouth wired shut, etc.) were easy by any means, but every time I was on the verge of complaining or whining, I’d be reminded of what I was to learn from the experience–wisdom, compassion, and understanding. And I believe I did.”

To Annette, being a Mormon Woman means having the vision of what a valuable being a woman is, what her place is in the Plan of Salvation, and why she is here. Motherhood, to her, would not be as significant, nor would it be as enjoyable. She says, “I wonder if my marriage would survive the ups and downs without an eternal perspective, knowing why marriage is so important, and the covenants I’ve made with the Lord about it.” She says she loves knowing that she is a beloved daughter of God and has “infinite worth,” as the Young Women value states [go here to read the Young Women’s Theme and to learn more about the values stated in the theme (please note that the value “virtue” was recently added to this theme)].

Such knowledge brings her life purpose and peace. She says she doubts there is any other organization in the world that honors women simply as women more than the Mormon Church does, and she is grateful to be a part of it.

For more Portraits on Mormon Women, please click here.

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A few weeks ago for a Relief Society activity, we had Lynda Wilson come speak to us (she is the author of The Innkeeper’s Wife). She shared with us about how for a long time she compared herself to everyone around her — especially the women in her ward [church congregation].

For example, the women around her crocheted, so she wanted to learn how to crochet. She tried making a blanket for her baby that ended up being a trapezoid; her stitches were really tight at first, and then got looser and looser as she learned more. She decided crocheting really wasn’t really for her. She took a quilting class and tried to learn how to quilt. (She showed us the strips of her unfinished quilt as a visual aide.)

On and on she went, trying to find a domestic talent. She always compared herself to others and felt bad that she couldn’t do the things others could.

She had always loved reading and writing. Finally one day she realized that it was okay that writing was her gift. That she could use that talent to bless others, and that it was enough. She talked about how just because someone else can do something well (organize, cook, sew, cut hair, whatever…) doesn’t mean that we need to be able to do those things as well to be validated. Whatever our gifts are, it is enough, and that we can use them to bless others. It was such a wonderful message!

As she went around the room randomly asking people to share what their gifts are, I was scared. I didn’t want her to ask me what my gift was. I was feeling pretty depressed that night, and not feeling gifted at all. I honestly probably would have burst into tears and said that I possessed no gifts, for that was truly how I was feeling. I was racking my brain trying to think of something to say just in case she asked me. As I thought of things, my feelings of inadequacy just got worse. I thought, “I am a pretty patient person, I could say patience,” but I remembered how many times I had raised my voice at my children that day during the stress of trying to get ready for that night. I thought, “I am a good listener,” but then I remembered how I had not done a good job of listening to my husband the other day. I was feeling like there are a lot of things I used to be good at, but I had somehow let them all slip away.

I came home that night and read my scriptures. The next morning I read and prayed. The day after that I read and prayed. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what my gifts were. I had to have some, right?

Well, after a lot of thought, I came up with a few. I think I am a good listener and I am a patient person. Lack of sleep makes me not as good at those things, but in a normal (whatever that is) time of life, I am good at those things. I am also artistic. I love photography, and I am kind of good at it. I like to sew, and in the past couple of weeks I made a darling skirt and diaper cover for my daughter using only her other clothes as a pattern. It turned out almost exactly as I had imagined it!  (I couldn’t find what I wanted in the stores so I decided to make it.) I also made her a Christmas stocking using my stocking as a pattern. I think these are my gifts, and I think I can use them to bless the lives of those around me. And that is enough.  And that feels good.

Now it’s your turn. What are your gifts?

The post <i>First Person</i>: Gifts appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Sister Julie B. Beck
Sister Silvia H. Allred
Sister Barbara B. Thompson
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

You can also find audio and video streams as well.

Women here and here talk about how talks were just what they needed to hear.

You can read a couple of news summaries here and here.

The post More links about the September 27 Relief Society Meeting (including transcripts and audio/video streams!) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.