Editor’s note: This is another article in our new series of BYU students sharing letters and reflections on scripture.

Setting Christ-centered Goals as a Family

by Ethan G.

After New Years my wife and I set many goals that we wanted to accomplish during the year, and habits we wanted to incorporate into our lives that would stay with us for our lifetime. Of course, with all New Years goals usually they never happen. Finally, a month later we got back into the groove of things and talked about our goals we had set and why they weren’t happening.

As we talked this past week a scripture came to mind from my reading in Helaman 5:12 which reads:

“And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.”

We then discussed how we both need to have our goals and desires based in Christ. We needed a united purpose and foundation to build on if we want to keep our relationship strong with each other and with our Heavenly Father. When we are united in our thoughts, desires, and actions we can become one with one another and as we aligned our desires with Heavenly Fathers will we would become one with the Godhead as well. The reason we talked about this was because our goals related to the will of God, we were just having trouble being motivated to get them done. And this came from purpose and remembering the big picture.

As we talked about our foundation and a vision of where we wanted to be the more motivated to get things taken care of in our lives. We then discussed Helaman 10:4-5 and replaced our names with Nephi:

“Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments. And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.”

We have power within each of us. We can all receive the blessings of Heaven according to the will of the Father. It is all about what we have done and who we become. That determines that which is allotted unto us. So as my wife and I and whoever else is reading this, as we set our goals according to the vision of who we can become, we can have the same feelings as Nephi did when he heard a voice of the Lord those many years ago. We can become great if we would stay on top of the small and simple things. Thankfully now we are right back on track, working toward the greater good, improving ourselves, and preparing to be great influences on the lives of those around us.

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Hiroko is a great woman for us to profile this time of year. Her life is an example of making goals and accomplishing them in the midst of great trials.

While Hiroko was raised by parents who were well-meaning, she felt throughout her childhood that she just didn’t measure up. This feeling affected every area of her life, but it especially impacted her relationship with food. Food was used as a means of control in her childhood home, as reward and punishment. During her childhood she was also haunted by depression which followed her throughout life, especially after the births of each of her 4 children. At her lowest point Hiroko weighed 218 pounds and was a size 24. It wasn’t just the weight that meant rock-bottom to her, that was just an outward sign of all that was afflicting her.

For years she felt that the depression was her fault, feeling that if she exercised more, prayed more, ate less, or read her scriptures more that her depression would go away. After the birth of her second child, during a bout of post-partum psychosis, Hiroko took an overdose of medication. Her cry for help was answered when she went to counseling and was prescribed medication to help her with her depression. She realized that the Lord had given her a different means of getting help. She realized that for her, counseling and medication didn’t mean she was bad or weak, but they were blessings from a loving Heavenly Father who wanted her to be happy again. Her priesthood leader, or bishop, has been a source of great comfort and counsel as well. Hiroko still struggles with seasonal and post-partum depression, but now she has knowledge and tools that help.

After trying many ways and means to loose weight Hiroko found something that worked for her. I’ll let her tell you about it:

I prayed for guidance, explaining to the Lord that he made my body and knew it better than I did, that I couldn’t do the weight loss on my own. I asked my husband for a blessing as part of my start to losing weight. Two months later, the local gym offered a weight loss contest similar to a popular TV show. I was blessed to be on the right team, blessed with the right trainer that used gospel principles, at times, in training. He taught fat-loss, not weight-loss, nutrition, wise choices, how to control my food, how to change my behaviors and the whole picture, not just weight loss.

Oddly, I found myself starting to deal with other emotional issues after losing the weight. Issues I drowned out with food. I thought my issues were all food related, but it became apparent that there was a layer underneath all the fat I used as an emotional shield. That has been a road in and of itself as I have learned that food isn’t a means of escape (although, every now and again, I find myself there again). I faced the issues hidden between all the chocolate cakes, gallons of ice cream and whole pizzas. I still keep in mind the gospel principles that coincide with weight training and exercise as I work out. It keeps my focus in both aspects.

Now Hiroko is working to help others meet their goals for weight loss. She is making progress towards becoming a personal trainer and nutritionist. Being a wife and mother to her four children comes first though. Because of what she has been through she teaches her children that food is energy, to be used in moderation. She also teaches that they should be grateful for their body, no matter what shape it is. She says, “I have been blessed with key LDS women in my life. Women who have been a beacon to me throughout the course of going through all that I have. Most of them don’t even know how much of an influence for good and strength they have been to me. It has been a very long road to finding me, finding myself, finding the Lord. Truthfully, it’s a road I’m still on, but I’m trying my best to find the end of it.”
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This is Hiroko’s advice for people seeking to lose weight:

Different things work for different people. Don’t beat yourself up. There’s always tomorrow. Keep a food journal. The most important thing is writing down the emotion and the event with everything you eat. If it’s a regular meal, or if you just had it out with your teen and went for the Oreo’s. Tapping into why we eat is key to changing the behavior and the pattern. Do this for at least 2 weeks before starting any program. It’s easier to change when we know what to change. Everyone’s pace is different. Go at your pace, what you know you are inwardly capable of (because you are more capable than you think you are!).

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For more Portraits of Mormon Women, please click here.

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We’d love to hear what inspired you about this meeting.

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It’s the time of year when people set goals and have great plans for change and progress, and we at Mormon Women are in that mode! We wanted to give you a glimpse at what things you can look forward to here at our website. And we want your help!

At the beginning of each week, we will invite people to share their thoughts, experiences, and feelings about different topics. So, for example, this week, we would love to hear about your thoughts on the new year. Do you do resolutions? If so, what is on your goal list this year? If not, how do you mark the new year? Have you read an inspirational post on the topic? (Over the next couple of weeks, we plan to share some links, so if you are aware of a link, let us know and we’ll consider it.) On questions of the week, feel free to use the comment form (comments are moderated, so they may not show up right away) or you can email us at ‘mormonwoman’ AT ‘gmail’ DOT ‘com’

We’d also be interested in what kinds of things you want to share or read. What questions do you think would be worthwhile to discuss here? (Again, you can comment below or email us.)

On Wednesdays, watch for inspirational spotlights on Mormon women, complete with photographs capturing a moment in their lives. (If you know someone we could spotlight, please email us!)

At the end of the week, we will have a “Review and Report” feature. We will share an article, talks, video or other media and invite you to read, listen, or watch — and then come share what was meaningful to you. (If you have a talk or article you want to recommend, once again, please email us.)

We have other plans in the works, so come back often. And if you have any suggestions or requests of what kind of content you would like to see here, please feel free to email us.

We hope that 2009 will bring you all wonderful things, fulfilled goals, and some uplifting and enjoyable content here at Mormon Women. We hope you will participate with us in sharing and learning from each other.

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