~by Michelle

Note: I wrote this before the October 2020 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where so much was said in terms of building more peace, unity, inclusion, respect, and love. One of the talks that stands out to me is Sharon Eubank’s address, where she connects concepts taught at the beginnings of the Relief Society (the women’s organization) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to our current day.

Pleas from the prophet Joseph Smith to the women in 1842, for unity and mercy, are pleas being echoed by our leaders today.

I’m keeping most of the original text of this post as a personal record of my thoughts, with a few edits to connect back to Conference. I encourage readers to listen to and/or read Sister Eubank’s talk. And to listen to the many other talks from General Conference that pertain to things we can do to build more unity and peace at a time, as President Dallin H. Oaks noted, is more contentious than any time our leaders have seen. May we prayerfully seek ways to bring more mercy, grace, and unity to our public discourse.

As an American who has been wrestling for years with our political tensions and divides, I’ve been pondering a lot this year about what I personally want to do in the face of our particular political situation. I have long felt quite homeless in the face of two parties so often at war with each other; it feels like the purpose of the two main parties as I understand it (collective problem-solving through both robust wrestle and courageous compromise) has been lost in the face of pendulum politics and populism.

One quote that is helpful for me as I consider these challenges is from a researcher named Brené Brown, who has been referenced several times in articles and talks over the years because of her work on shame, vulnerability, and getting past common human barriers to connection.

I start with her quote and then work from there to share how leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints help guide us when it comes to political involvements. Or at least how I am feeling guided in my own personal desires to be civically engaged.

First, Brené Brown:

“Normally, we use forced choice and false dichotomies during times of significant emotional stress. Our intentions may not be to manipulate, but to force the point that we’re in a situation where neutrality is dangerous.

“[Brené says] I actually agree with this point. One of my live-by quotes is from Elie Wiesel. ‘We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.'”

Braving the Wilderness (I don’t have access to page numbers because I listened to it on audio book)

[Michelle here — my brain can get caught there in this quote here because isn’t the whole problem around false dichotomy found in the notion of sides? Consider carefully what she says next.]

[Brené again]: “The problem is that these emotional pleas are often not based in facts [although let’s be clear: facts can be hard to come by in a social and media driven, “fake news” world…a topic for another day, perhaps], and they prey on our fears of not belonging or being seen as wrong or part of the problem. We need to question how the sides are defined. Are these really the only options? Is this the accurate framing for this debate…?

“If alternatives exist outside of these forced choices (and they almost always do), then the [emotionally-driven] statements are factually wrong. [So here at least we have clear understanding, when it comes to social and political discourse, about what is not fact!] It’s turning an emotion-driven approach into weaponized belonging. And it always benefits the person throwing down the gauntlet and brandishing those forced, false choices….

“The ability to think past either/or situations is the foundation of critical thinking, but still, it requires courage. Getting curious and asking questions happens outside our ideological bunkers. It feels easier and safer to pick a side. The argument is set up in a way [on either ‘side’] that there’s only one real option. If we stay quiet we’re automatically demonized as “the other.”

“The only true option is to refuse to accept the terms of the argument by challenging the framing of the debate.”

Braving the Wilderness (I don’t have page numbers because I listened to it on audio book)

Even though on election day, those of us in the United States will have to choose a box (or a line) for the presidential election, Brené helps me remember that we don’t have to define our larger conversations and choices by that one moment, that one choice. As we continue forward, we can continually work to frame conversations around pressing societal issues in ways that don’t shut down discussion and that leave room for differences of opinion and experience and perspective.

For women and men who believe in Christ [as was said more than once in the October 2020 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints], I think it’s also important to remember that no social or political solution can offer all the world needs. We are to be “anxiously engaged” in doing good as we feel impressed or pressed to do, but without the gospel of Jesus Christ, all efforts will eventually, essentially be incomplete. I think that is by design. “All things must fail,” we are told in scripture. All things except Christ. The struggles around us can constantly remind us of our individual and collective need for the Savior light, love, and healing.

This is why “we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children [and our friends, and even the world] may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.” (2 Nephi 25:26; see also Elder Neil L. Andersen’s talk.)

I like this simple quote from Dallin H. Oaks: “I find some wisdom in liberalism, some wisdom in conservatism, and much truth in intellectualism—but I find no salvation in any of them.” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/1987/02/criticism…

I also return often in my mind to the First Presidency letter before the 2016 election: “Principles compatible with the gospel may be found in various political parties….” https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/first…

Even God Himself — the only One who really has the lens on truth to declare something absolute — has offered grace in the face of what would otherwise be relentless justice of His divine laws, through “the merits of His Son” (Alma 24:10), because we as mortals are simply unable to meet every facet of His laws with perfection. Amazing grace, indeed. It’s breathtaking to consider!

And yet we often are so much less willing to hold space and offer grace to each other. (Or even ourselves.)

As Sister Eubank reminded us, Jesus Christ offers mercy and love to all. (See also talks such as those from Elder Renlund, Elder Jaggi, President Oaks, and more.) I was so grateful for the reminders during this recent General Conference to keep looking to Him first as I wrestle with what to do in my civic engagement efforts, in this election time and beyond. To try to be more like Him in all that I do. It’s a messy process (another shoutout to Sister Eubank who used one of my favorite words!), but I’m so grateful to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, to help me to keep trying, to keep practicing, to keep striving to keep Him at the center of my life, my thoughts, my focus, even my very breath.

The post Reframing political discourse to include space for grace appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Last Saturday, Sister Joy Jones, general president of the Primary (organization for children) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gave a powerful talk at the Utah Coalition Against Pornography (UCAP) conference held in Salt Lake City, UT. Even though pornography was only recently recognized in Utah as a public health issue (and is being officially recognized as a public health issue by several other states now as well!), UCAP has been at work for years to try to educate people about the problem of pornography AND help people know what they can do to find healing.

The Church has also been speaking out for years against pornography, and it continues to expand its reach and resources to help not only adults who struggle, but to help parents learn how to help their children. We, too, have been working toward this end for years here at Mormon Women. (If you are a woman impacted by pornography use of a loved one, please see HopeAndHealingLDS.com for more resources and information. We also have many resources here, but they haven’t been updated for a while since Hope and Healing became the channel to help readers who needed information and support.)

Sister Jones, of course, cares about the well-being of children because of her calling. But there is much more to her intentions. Just like so many of us, she knows too many people impacted by pornography, and she was speaking”as a concerned woman, mother, and grandmother.”

To me, Sister Jones is a model for parents, and for leaders and mentors of children around the world. She boldly, unequivocally takes a position about the harms of pornography and the responsibility we have as adults to be the grown-ups and do what needs to be done to help children in the face of their pornified world.

She quotes Elder Dallin H. Oaks with an urgency that I hope people in and outside of the Church will heed:

“Children are highly vulnerable. They have little or no power to protect or provide for themselves and little influence on so much that is vital to their well-being. Children need others to speak for them, and they need decision makers who put their well-being ahead of selfish adult interests.”[3]

There is too much of selfish adult interest when it comes to sex (and business). This is a key reason why pornography is a public health issue for children and also for adults and marriages and families.

But following Sister Jones’ lead, let’s talk about the children today (I’m talking about children and youth, not just littles). Even with the best of protections in a home and in relationships, children can innocently stumble on material that is nothing short of a form of sexual abuse that harms their minds and their tender hearts and confuses, even hijacks, what should be a slow and gradual process of mental, emotional, social, relational, spiritual and sexual development. Just as cyberbullying can impact a child as deeply as real-life bullying, adult (and often violent, manipulated) sexuality imposed on children can impact children’s well-being in significant, serious, and multifaceted ways.

Sister Jones touches on simple things that we can do in our communities to speak up and make a difference. But I want to focus here on what the bulk of her talk is about — how love is the best armor to help children navigate this sexualized, pornified, digitally-driven world that they live in.

Sister Jones played off of Fight the New Drug‘s popular slogan that “Porn Kills Love.” She goes beyond that slogan in a powerful way, however — a way that I think is so very important…because when someone is stuck in the cycle of using pornography, telling them that porn kills love may only add to the shame. (Let me be clear that Fight the New Drug teaches clearly that porn is designed to hook people in, so kids need not feel shame when they feel the draw of sexualized content. Fight the New Drug works tirelessly to help youth break free, and still I have seen how this slogan alone sometimes leaves people feeling deflated, not hopeful.)

So I was thrilled to see Sister Jones build on Fight the New Drug’s impactful work to bring in how love has to be the foundation of our efforts on children’s behalf. She says:

First, we say “I love you” by truly protecting them. Second, we say “I still love you” by the way we respond to their exposure to pornography, whether intentional or not. And third, we say “I will always love you” by providing loving support for them as they work on healing if they’ve experienced compulsive use or addiction. In each phase, love is the key.

Love drives our desire to build strong relationships and to take deliberate actions to protect children from pornography exposure both in our homes and in the community. But since most children will be exposed at some point in their young lives, love must also drive our response (and hopefully drive our efforts to create safe places to talk about hard things before they happen so that children feel safe talking about hard things). Lastly, love must drive our efforts to help children and youth who may need help healing…and there may be more who need it than we want to acknowledge. (Spurred by heavy traffic here from women suffering because of their husband’s pornography addictions, I’ve spent years trying to help support those who are in adulthood suffering because loved ones in their lives never got help as children or youth. Out of hundreds of stories, I have only heard one that was of a pornography problem that began in adulthood.)

As such, I want to add something to what Sister Jones said. Serious harm, even trauma, can result when a child or teen is exposed to pornography  — even with one exposure. I’ve read and heard too many stories of adults whose problems started with that first exposure — not because they as children did anything wrong, but because pornography wrongs them. It can have deep and lasting effects, including, yes, potentially leading to addiction, but oh, how I want to urge people to slow down and get present and walk side-by-side with children and teens to help them process what is happening with them, now. And to love and help them through it.

Even with all I know about these things, I see the confusion and overwhelm and misunderstandings my children continue to face (teens and young adults now) because the culture around them is so saturated by sex and relational, emotional, social, cultural, and other (political, ahem) drama. Their peers often can’t guide them; they are swimming in the same poisoned cultural water. Precious few people around them know how to help them be anchored in principles of truly healthy living (which is essential if you want to talk about healthy sexuality).

When I first started researching this topic over six years ago (as a admin here and also as a mom), I was stunned to see that several of the stories of adults who struggled started when they were as young as six years old. To Sister Jones’ second point, without a safe place to talk about what they had experienced in being exposed to pornography, these children were left alone to try to process something their young brains simply couldn’t or shouldn’t have had to process.

I also quickly learned that trying to help my children avoid pornography addiction was less about pornography and more about helping them learn skills like self-awareness, coping with emotions and stress in healthy ways, and deliberateness and integrity in their choices. (If you want to understand how to parent your children, I suggest learning from the stories of addicts in recovery. That is what changed me as a parent and as a person who has always wanted to understand more about human behavior (my educational background) and especially about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.)

Here’s another example of what I witnessed in my efforts to learn and take a stand about pornograpahy . A few years ago, because of the research and work I’d done for HopeAndHealingLDS.com, I was hired by an organization working to raise awareness around the harms of pornography.  A woman contacted us, wanting to share her story about her 8-year-old daughter’s exposure to hard-core pornography through an innocent internet search with a friend. Their curiosity was normal, but the mind-hijacking impact of pornography changed their little lives and rocked their families — and friendships — to the core. (Note: You can’t sex ed your way through a 6-year-old or 8-year-old’s experience with this, even as more open conversation about sex may help children feel safe to go to parents with questions rather than the internet or their peers. But please, again, understand that pornography exposure can impact a child’s (or adult’s) view of self, of God, of relationships, of love, and of the world…beyond just what good sex ed even in the home could do. Pornography exposure may begin with curiosity about sex, but more talk about or more experience with sex will not heal what pornography can do to a mind, body, heart, and spirit. Again, the antidote to pornography is not healthy sexuality, it’s healthy, deliberate, connected, love- and purpose-filled living (which then can lay the foundation for healthy sexuality). Healthy exuality doesn’t happen in a vacuum of other aspects of a person’s life.

Back to Sister Jones. Her whole talk is worth a read (and a re-read, and a share), but I will highlight one more point here in this post. It’s the word why. Sister Jones says:

As parents and teachers, we can’t help children if we aren’t educated ourselves. Teaching the what and the why is essential. We can learn for ourselves and help children understand why pornography is wrong, why it is so dangerous, why we don’t want it to hurt them, and what to do if they encounter it.

Are we giving our children a sufficient why in age-appropriate ways? If the only reason we give them to avoid pornography is “It’s bad,” that may end up being an inadequate reason. Instead, we must present as many whys as we can to establish a moral imperative that is motivating for our youth. [Emphasis is hers.]

Before you talk to your kids about pornography, or before you just run out and filter your home to death, first go hug your children and spend some time with them (build relationships of trust!). Start with the love that you know how to offer. And then build from there. Stop and listen to them talk about their lives and the world from their young point of view. I guarantee that many of your children are facing things you can’t comprehend because most of us didn’t grow up with what they are growing up with. I am immersed in learning about this topic and I still get shocked and easily overwhelmed by what children and youth face. So stop and ask and listen and listen some more. That connection with your children will do more for your heart than about anything, and will be the critical foundation that Sister Jones talks about. Love them. Start there.

And then get committed to learning about why pornography is harmful, if you haven’t already. And don’t stop learning. We can’t parent from a place of fear; education and especially being grounded in love can cast out fear. Please choose to act rather than react. Connect with experts and other parents who care. Tag-team with your spouse or your friends to absorb insights from a conference or two. Slow down and invest the time it takes to understand these issues, and then leverage the power of the council system in your homes, congregations, and communities to do what it takes to love our children away from the impacts of living in a pornified world. This is bigger than us any of us alone, but working together, change can happen — first in our hearts and our homes and then in our culture and our communities.

One last note: I will say again that there are those in our larger culture and even in the Church culture who will try to minimize the seriousness of the plague of pornography. I’m not talking about isolating addiction as the indicator of the seriousness of the problem, I’m talking about the impact it can have from exposure one. Pornography victimizes children and that can happen without anything but content on a screen acting on a child or teen. Of course there are people behind the creation and money-grubbing distribution of that content, but so far our society does very little to hold those people accountable for the harms they are causing to our children, all in the name of free speech or free commerce or adult sexual freedom. Nothing is ever free. Choices have consequences and I stand behind Sister Jones and so many others who are taking a stand about the consequences of pornography on the health of children, youth, adults, families, and society.

To me, Sister Jones’s invitation is this: Stand first by standing by your children in unwavering love and then work from there as you feel guided to do. I researched for this website, yes, but at the same time God was urging me to learn all I could for the sake of my children. That learning on behalf of my children changed everything for me, including my own spiritual journey. For all that pornography harms, the antidotes of love and healthy living can change lives. Let pornography be a springboard for learning about these things!

I will go back to the quote from Elder Oaks that Sister Jones used. We have a duty and responsibility to do all we can first to consider and protect and commit to the well-being of our own children, the children in our sphere of influence, and the children in our society.*** They are the future of the earth. We care a lot as a society about preserving natural resources, but there is nothing more precious, more deserving of our protection than our children. (See also this talk by Elaine Dalton.)

There were days when adults tried to convince each other that cigarettes were healthy. Why? Because marketing and money drove the conversation. Adults know full well now that smoking is bad for anyone and that chemicals like alcohol and drugs are really, really bad for developing youth and young adults. Our culture is waking up to the seriousness of sexual abuse, but that conversation will not be close to complete without recognizing that creators and distributors of pornography are perpetrating sexual trauma on children (as well as contributing to a culture of sexual violence and trafficking of both children and adults.) Addressing sexual abuse without addressing the plague of pornography will make the former effort incomplete at best — and at worst will sabotage it.

Again, this can start first in our hearts as we seek to have love drive all we do for our children. They need us. And we need them.

***To any who are paralyzed in your ability to help your children because of your own struggles (either because of your own pornography issues or those of a loved one), then please make the decision now to seek the help you need. There is hope and help available, but you have to reach out! Isolation and secrecy and fear make all of this worse for adults, too. Again, most adults who struggle are grown-ups who never got the help they needed as children or youth and those impacts continue into the next generations. It usually takes a combination of a lot of different kinds of support (lots of love!!) to overcome the impacts of pornography, but never have we had so many resources at our disposal. Keep reading your scriptures, keep praying, keep going to church. And seek out support from those who have found healing through support groups. Consider professional therapy from one who understands that pornography (the real issue is lust as a drug) really can destroy lives. God will help you know what next steps to take and will be more able to help you if you will start moving your feet by getting out of isolation. Please don’t try to tackle this alone. You’ve already tried that. 🙂 Please reach out! Miracles can happen when that simple first step is taken. God will never stop loving you and there are many who will be willing to help. Ask until you find someone(s) who will. I am grateful to stand arm-in-arm with many others committed to helping in this space, and we send our love your way.

This post has been edited from the original.

The post Love Kills Porn: Sister Joy Jones speaks about pornography at UCAP appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

And so, today, I write a few thoughts with those who do struggle in mind.

I once had a friend say that we should be uncomfortable with polygamy. Monogamy is the rule in God’s law, and polygamy is the exception. In my view, the fact that people are uncomfortable with this practice that existed for several decades of early Church history, is understandable — if not right. (I say that with a caveat, which I share below.)

So I’d just say if you feel uncomfortable with polygamy, it’s ok to say and feel that. I personally don’t believe that someone needs to have a “testimony” of polygamy to have a testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or of the divine calling of Joseph Smith. One can be uncomfortable with polygamy and still have faith. 

I love what President Uchdorf and Elder Holland have said. We can act on what we do know and believe as we consider what we may struggle with or doubt. The invitation that our leaders extend is not to let struggle hijack faith. So my encouragement to you is not to abandon what you do know, whatever that may be.

And please, please don’t be afraid to take your doubts and fears and feelings to God.

I read a wonderful book by S. Michael Wilcox who talked about the power of pouring out our souls to God. I spent a lot of years thinking that God really didn’t want to hear me talk about how I was really feeling — that somehow He just wanted me to be happy and faithful and fine, regardless of what life threw at me. I’m so sad that I had that view of Him for so long. I truly believe, now, after many experiences of my own “pouring out” of my soul and sitting in my struggles enough to be honest about them, that He doesn’t expect us to pretend that we feel what we don’t. I believe He wants us to be honest with Him, to, as Brother Wilcox says, pour out what is inside.

And then we are invited to see what God will pour in, if we will let Him. I have found that when I open myself up to His answers, they often are not what I would have expected, or even thought I wanted. But they always, always nudge me forward and closer to Him. (They usually delight me, too, because they end up being more than I could have known to ask for.)

I read a recent post by a fellow blogger and I think she makes a good point. It’s not wise or kind to dismiss the experiences and feelings of those who feel shocked or betrayed or confused by this information. And so although I understand frustration with the headlines that claim that this is all new information (and again I share the frustration at the the drama of it all) I think we ought not dismiss the real pain some feel as they think about polygamy.

And I also think that the same courtesy of being kind and not dismissive needs to be extended to Joseph Smith himself. So this is my caveat to the above statement that discomfort with polygamy can be a good thing. It’s okay to not like the idea of polygamy, but that doesn’t mean Joseph Smith was wrong in practicing it. The nature of mortality means that we all see through a glass darkly. We in the 21st century do not have a perfect lens with which to judge others in the past. Joseph Smith lived in a time with a role and rules and inspiration that none of us can understand simply because we aren’t walking in his shoes. We also can’t receive revelation about what we might have done had we lived then because revelation comes for our lives in the present, and we aren’t being asked to live polygamy (credit becky). In fact, if someone does live in a polygamous relationship, they can’t be a member of the Church.

I personally believe that a key reason God invites us not to judge others is simply because it turns our attention away from Christ and His healing power for whatever it is that makes us want to cast judgment in the first place (which is usually pain, fear, or other such emotions).

I understand that the hinge point is that to have a testimony of the Church, we need to have a testimony of Joseph Smith’s divine calling. And for some, polygamy can feel like an insurmountable barrier to receiving a testimony of that calling that the prophet had.

My plea — not as anyone special, just as a sister in the gospel — is just to remember that God has ordained the process by which this testimony can be received. The process of gaining a testimony is something that won’t hit the headlines like these recent essays have, but it is nonetheless real, and has played out in the lives of millions of people around the world. Every person’s process will have its own twists and turns and will take the time that it takes. But even those twists and turns can be glorious, although difficult at times — because this process (this life, really) is about learning to engage directly with God for answers. Finding Him through the Fall and the messiness of mortality is why we are here.

And whew. Sometimes that process is really hard. Polygamy is not my wrestle, but I have my questions and struggles. We all do, I think, at some point or another. If it were all easy, what need would we have of faith or Jesus?

God bless you in your journey to find Him through and in your struggle.

The post For those who struggle with Mormon history of polygamy appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

The post The importance of religion to a safe and healthy society appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

The notion of Millennials and an not-uncommonly-taken, spiritual-but-not-religious approach to faith has been around for a few years now. Many young adults have felt disillusioned with their faith traditions, for various reasons. The CNN article points out that some church’s leaders simply try to be more “cool,” in superficial ways. Young adults can see right through that, the author asserts. She also suggests that, for example, concerns about social justice, an allegedly overdone focus on sexual standards, and positions on gay rights have created rifts for Millennials and have left them wanting something different…in essence, wanting the churches to change to reflect more “modern” perspectives on social issues.

But apparently not all Millennials feel that the rising generation has all the keys to what churches should do in order to retain young adults in their congregations.

For example, I was intrigued by an article written in the Washington Post by Brett McCracken entitled “How to keep Millennials in the Church? Let’s keep church uncool.” His response to the CNN article doesn’t argue against Evan’s entire premise (he also is against trying to make church “cool” as the title of his article makes clear). But he has a message for Millennials as well.

“I’m a Millennial,” McCracken writes, “but I am weary of everyone caring so much about why Millennials do this or don’t do that. I’m sorry Millennials, but I’m going to have to throw us under the bus here: we do not have everything figured out. And if we expect older generations and well-established institutions to morph to fit our every fickle desire, we do so at our peril” [emphasis in original].

I found this a refreshing addition to the discussions about and among Millennials and those who care about and/or sympathize (or even agree with) them. As noted, McCracken doesn’t minimize the reality that the CNN article points out — that some churches are swinging away from Jesus in their “let’s be more hip” approach. But he reaches beyond the surface to explore some of what might be keeping many Millennials spiritually unsatisfied.

McCracken has concerns both about the young adults who clamor perhaps too much to be heard and also the churches that are perhaps trying too hard to cater to the every whim of those activists. He invites young adults to sit down and listen, too, and to be willing to learn from those who have gone before and invites churches to not try so hard to be socially and politically correct.

Quoting C.S. Lewis, he writes:

Part of the problem is the hubris of every generation, which thinks it has discovered, once and for all, the right way of doing things. C.S. Lewis called it “chronological snobbery,” defining it as “the uncritical acceptance of the intellectual climate common to our own age and the assumption that whatever has gone out of date is on that account discredited.”

McCracken’s last, heartfelt paragraph to me reflects some wisdom from which any of us, of any age, can benefit.

As a Millennial, if I’m truly honest with myself, what I really need from the church is not another yes-man entity enabling my hubris and giving me what I want. Rather, what I need is something bigger than me, older than me, bound by a truth that transcends me and a story that will outlast me; basically, something that doesn’t change to fit me and my whims, but changes me to be the Christ-like person I was created to be.

These sentiments have been explored elsewhere by Christian leaders who also see the peril in a give-me-all-that-I-want mentality that McCracken addresses.

[M]uch of modern Christianity does not acknowledge that God makes any real demands on those who believe in Him, seeing Him rather as a butler “who meets their needs when summoned” (Kenda Creasy Dean, Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers Is Telling the American Church (2010), 17) or a therapist whose role is to help people “feel good about themselves (Dean, Almost Christian, 30; see also Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers (2005), 118–71). It is a religious outlook that “makes no pretense at changing lives…. By contrast…the God portrayed in both the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures asks, not just for commitment, but for our very lives. The God of the Bible traffics in life and death, not niceness, and calls for sacrificial love, not benign whatever-ism” [Dean, p. 30, 37]. [From “As Many as I Love I Rebuke and Chasten“]

McCracken shares his thoughts as to why catering to the latest social or political or cultural opinions is anything but benign.

“The Christian gospel is defined outside of and with little regard to whatever itch people think Christianity should scratch. Consumerism asserts that people want what they want and get what they want, for a price. It’s all about me. But to position the gospel within this consumerist, give-them-what-they-want framework is to open the door to all sorts of distortions, mutations, and “to each his own” cockamamy variations. If Christianity aims to sell a message that scratches a pluralism of itches, how in the world will a cohesive, orthodox, unified gospel survive?”

His insights reminded me of talk given by one of our church’s leaders about the benefits of learning from the past (both from older generations who are still alive and ancient people whose stories and lessons learned and testimonies are recorded in holy writ). There are patterns of truth that stand the test of time, mortal lessons that have been learned and re-learned, with negative consequences that could be avoided by learning from those who have gone before.

“Learning the lessons of the past allows you to walk boldly in the light without running the risk of stumbling in the darkness. This is the way it’s supposed to work. This is God’s plan: father and mother, grandfather and grandmother teaching their children; children learning from them [and from the patterns in the scriptures] and then becoming a more righteous generation through their own personal experiences and opportunities. Learning the lessons of the past allows you to build personal testimony on a solid bedrock of obedience, faith, and the witness of the Spirit.

“If you are open and receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit in your lives, you will understand the lessons of the past, and they will be burned into your souls by the power of your testimonies. [From “Learning the Lessons of the Past“]

McCracken invites his Millennial peers a bit more bluntly.

“[W]hy don’t we take our pastors, parents, and older Christian brothers and sisters out to coffee [or, for Mormons, a hot chocolate? {grin}] and listen to them? Perhaps instead of perpetuating our sense of entitlement and Twitter/blog/Instagram-fueled obsession with hearing ourselves speak, we could just shut up for a minute and listen to the wisdom of those who have gone before….”

I think we all could benefit from this advice. I recently attended a Mormon ward congregation comprised mostly of retirement-age people and I was left wanting to learn more from them. I could tell they had stories and perspectives that would be interesting and worthwhile. When was the last time any of us talked to someone older than ourselves just to listen and learn from them?

We can also sit for a spell with the ancients (with coffee or hot chocolate in hand?) in the Old and New Testaments (and for Mormons, in the Book of Mormon) and hear what they have to say about life and faith in Jesus Christ, sacrifice, love, humility, service.

I give a “Hats off!” to Brett McCracken for his willingness to invite Millennials (and all of us) to listen to and learn from one another. We can grow as we are willing to be humble and teachable. As McCracken says, we can seek for “truth that transcends” individual and cultural limitations.

In truth, it’s the kind of truth that stands the test of millennia. I believe that’s where we can all find Jesus.

The post Thoughts on Millennials and the Church and finding Jesus in “Truth that Transcends” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.