“I’ve got four minutes to get emotionally prepared,” my youngest said. The reality of what was happening was finally hitting her. And not a moment too soon.

My parents had just buckled themselves into the back of the minivan. We’d gone to lunch together, but decided to park their car by the temple to make the things the drop-off easier at the MTC (Missionary Training Center).

We were so goodbyed out from the events of the previous days (his own farewell [speaking in church before departing on a mission], others’ farewells, a family party, family and friends stopping by, his setting apart [a laying-on-of-hands blessing — like what we believe the Savior did — to officially designate him as a missionary]). My son and I jointly decided that we didn’t want to do the traditional photos in front of the temple. (Besides, seeing other people say their goodbyes to their missionaries was almost worse than saying goodbye ourselves. Yup. Nope. Much to my dad’s chagrin (he’s called Papa-razzi in our family), we weren’t doing that today.)

And so, from 12:56 to 1:00 p.m., we drove laps around the temple (counting down the minutes in jest for my daughter, to try to lighten the mood a little) and then drove directly west, through the light, to the MTC gate entrance.

– – – – –

Spring 2017

“How did your orthodontist appointment go? Is everything set?”

Something about my son’s answer to my question left me feeling unsettled. He was two days away from turning in his mission papers; I wanted to be sure we had a firm date for when his braces would come off. From all that we had heard from his orthodontist, a mission availability date of August 15 was playing it safe, but still, I wanted to be sure.

Nothing could have prepared me for the orthodontist assistant’s response to my inquiry to confirm his his braces-off date.

“He’s not scheduled to have his braces off until February or March 2018.”

Once my brain reconnected with my vocal chords, I tried to be as calm as I could be, but I’m sure my voice belied the fact that everything inside of me was swirling and churning. “Can…I…please…speak to Dr.________ ? He called me back within a few minutes. I could tell he felt pretty awful about this unbelievable miscommunication.

My son had had his braces taken off for an MRI that confirmed a bizarre diagnosis of jaw arthritis. (Apparently it’s not bizarre for our family; her sister was diagnosed with the same condition in December 2017.) The braces had  been put back on earlier in the year after treatments for the arthritis, and everything that we had heard was that the braces would come off in August.

During that phone call, the orthodontist assured me that they could be off by Thanksgiving, and that was the end of that call.

But how would I break this news to my son? 

It was hard news for him, but I watched in gratitude and not a little wonder as he immediately started scrambling to un-defer his acceptance to college, register for classes, and find housing. I admired his willingness to adapt to a hard, unexpected situation.

In August of last year, instead of starting a mission, he launched headlong into a semester of his freshman year of college.

– – – – –

I took a deep breath as we filed behind the line of cars slowly descending into the underground MTC parking garage. This is definitely different from when I was a missionary, I thought.

Not that I was complaining. Drop-off day back in my day was a dramatic, traumatic experience for both family and missionary alike. This is how it went. There was a presentation about who-knows-what (I doubt any missionary or family remembers what it was, probably an orientation to the MTC or to missionary work in general). And then, abruptly, the person at the microphone in front of the sea of missionaries and their families said, “Okay! Missionaries go through that door, and families go that way!” I don’t remember being warned about how abrupt that moment would be, although we probably were. Warning or no warning, it was awful.

To this day, I can’t really tell you whether I regret looking back for one last wave, but the can’t-describe-it-in-any-other-way-except-to-call-it-pathetic look on my mom’s face is seared in my memory. It tore at my heartstrings. Fortunately, as a missionary, the spirit of the MTC swept me away the minute I turned the corner from that bitter goodbye.

But now I was the momma.

I wasn’t sure I was emotionally prepared for this, either.

– – – –

October 1, 2017

“You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints….”

My son read his call to anxious and excited friends and family members crammed into the space in front of the stairs of our home. (Not all missionaries read their mission calls in front of others, and actually my son had opened it in the mountains before reading it to the rest of us. But he wanted to also share the joyful news with those he loves, all the more so because of the wait.)

“You should report to the Missionary Training Center on January 10, 2018.” 

His call had finally come! 

– – – – –

As our car started the gentle incline toward the underground parking garage, my son blurted out, “There’s ________!” He rolled down his window and yelled out to his friend who was sitting outside with her companion. Right before we went under, she yelled out, “Welcome to the MTC, Elder!”

There really is no place in the world like the MTC, and here he was being welcomed into its electric spiritual energy field by someone he knew. What a tender mercy for us all! He was giddy as he rolled the window back up as we turned the corner into the dark parking garage.

– – – – –

December 12, 2017

Dr. Jaw Specialist saw my boy for what we thought was the final check-up before his mission. We found out his arthritis relapsed; he needs some kind of new treatment to stabilize his jaw, and that will take another 5-6 months. To say this was devastating news is an understatement. We all had to process it in our own way.

But my dad’s impression closely mirrored my own: There must be something about the timing here. God is at work. My heart was broken for my son, but I did feel an underlying (if not perplexed) peace. 

When I dropped my son off back at school, we had a long talk in the car. There were a lot of things we discussed, but one of the things I will never forget was this:

“Mom, I realized that I had two choices. I could either turn away from God, or I can turn towards Him. I choose towards.”

He had already made phone calls. Once again, he was hustling to reapply to school, find a vacant space in housing (he ended up in his same hall!), and sign up for classes. He also found work quickly, as his budget had only allowed for one semester of school. The rest was tucked away in his mission fund.

He was in for another amazing semester, with so many blessings, opportunities, and friendships that enriched his life. We never would have planned it this way, but I’m sure that over time, he and we will come to appreciate all the more what goodness God was up to. 

– – – – –

“You have three minutes,” the elderly MTC volunteer said, without much of a smile. (That must not be a fun job. Not fun at all.)

Fortunately, we were ready for the abruptness of this goodbye. Had we had a stopwatch pointed on us, I would dare say that we came very close to our time limit. It almost felt like a challenge, a game. UnpackTheBags, SnapThePhotos, and then, (breathe) DoTheHugs. In three minutes, flat?! Bring it on!

His missionary host was right there to help with the bags, my dad did what he does best with the photos. My son gave me a short hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek, and then I watched as he quickly hugged his tearful sisters and his grandparents.

– – – –

June 20, 2018

It didn’t quite register in my tired brain when I woke up to the news. “Mom, the blood test came back positive.” What? He’d had no symptoms of which he was aware; the only reason he got the test is because his sister had been diagnosed. It is customary to get immediate family members tested, so after he and his youngest sister were out of school, I took them to get the obligatory blood draw. But none of us expected anything like this to come of it.

Celiac disease is not an uncommon problem (nor an unmanageable one), but with the combination of everything with his arthritis, we just weren’t sure where things would stand with this news. He made a couple of phone calls to people in the missionary system, and everything looked good, but given everything we’d gone through, we still had that nagging fear: What if things were delayed, again?  

My son took a very long walk that night. I didn’t talk to him afterwards (I just wanted to give him space). But I’m pretty sure I know at least part of what was going on during that walk. 

“I realized that I had two choices. I could either turn away from God, or I can turn towards Him. I choose towards.”

I could have used a long walk that night! But it just so happens that I was in Mosiah 28 in my personal Book of Mormon reading. (Truth be told, I was behind where I should have been in my reading. But as is not uncommon, I was actually right where I needed to be in my reading. God is so, so good.)

Now it came to pass that after the sons of Mosiah had done all these things, they took a small number with them and returned to their father…and desired of him that he would grant unto them that they might…go up to the land of Nephi that they might preach the things which they had heard, and that they might impart the word of God….

And it came to pass that they did plead with their father many days that they might go up to the land of Nephi. (Mosiah 28:1, 5, emphasis added)

I’d never noticed this “many days” thing before, probably because I had never been a parent facing the fears that can come with sending a child off into missionary service. I felt a kinship with Mosiah. I felt his human side in this moment, not just the fearless prophet or king we usually focus on. I felt like God was saying it was okay to have fears. It was normal. It was okay to wrestle with these questions when you just aren’t sure what should happen. It’s okay to feel protective of your children. Of course, Mosiah also felt a deep love for the gospel, as do I. That was a given for me. But there were just too many feelings to sort through, too much at stake.

I wanted to be willing to do whatever was right. If he needed to stay home longer, then we would do that. But oh, how I didn’t want him to have to go through that, again. Watching him head out on his late-night walk, shoulders and head down, hurt my heart so much. But my own shoulders were feeling heavy with the weight of anxiety in the face of uncertainty. 

I felt like God answered the questions deep in my momma heart. 

And king Mosiah went and inquired of the Lord if he should let his sons go up among the Lamanites to preach the word.

And the Lord said unto Mosiah: Let them go up, for many shall believe on their words, and they shall have eternal life; and I will deliver thy sons…. [Mosiah 28:7-8, emphasis added]

Two days later, I was in the hospital with my son while he got an endoscopy to confirm what the blood test had already revealed. He now had an official diagnosis to carry with him…into the mission field. Those assigned to support him on the other side of goodbye were ready to help him forward. It was time for me to let him go. The night he was set apart, he noted that that scripture in Mosiah 28 had also been on his mind — from the perspective of the sons. God shows up in such unexpected, beautiful ways.

– – – –

I confess. In that short three minutes in the MTC parking garage, as we hustled to get him on his way (you’ve been warned, future missionary parents: three minutes!**), I sneaked in another hug (a mother’s prerogative, I think). Then I stood off to the side as I watched him turn and walk alongside his host missionary, away from us.

He didn’t look back.

**The people in front of us took, er, longer than three minutes. (This is not easy, folks, so go easy on them). But let me warn you future missionary parents once more: While we waited to leave the parking garage (and yes, we were anxious to leave that dark place), it looked like the somberish, yellow-jacketed, elderly volunteer was about to be upstaged by a uniformed security/police officer. The three-minute business is serious. Just sayin.’

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Postscript:

This post doesn’t capture all the details of the ins and outs and ups and downs of our pre-MTC journey, including his sister’s diagnosis of jaw arthritis in December that actually unlocked the knowledge about the right treatment for this condition (how we didn’t get that information before December is yet another puzzle, that only “God’s timing” as an answer can solve to our satisfaction).

Also not mentioned above was his dad’s international business trip that he had to schedule before we had a new date for our son’s mission departure.  I asked my parents to be there with me since my husband could not be. (Note to missionary moms — don’t be alone on dropoff day. My parents’ company made all the difference in the world for me, especially after I came home to an empty house, as my daughters had places to go.)

It’s all been such a roller coaster. But honestly, I was a bit surprised to wake up the next day and realize I’m so happy to be on this side of the waiting and wondering. I miss my son; his absence is palpable, and to be sure, there is an ache in my momma heart. Love and loss cannot be separated. And believe you me, I can’t wait for his first Monday letter [today]!

But he has looked forward to this day since he was a very young boy. He is where he wants to be, where we want him to be, and where God wants him to be. So the ache is buffered by the joy and gratitude of a dream finally coming to fruition.

Some may think members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are crazy to let their children go off for 18-24 months like this. The reason we do it is because the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ means that much to us. Not unlike Hannah of old, we choose to give our children back to God so they can teach others about Him — and experience what it means to consecrate themselves to Him. When we give ourselves to God, as a previous prophet, Ezra Taft Benson said, “He can make a lot more out of our lives than we can.”

I also wanted to share a little of what it’s like for missionaries in a Missionary Training Center, for those who aren’t familiar with it (or for Mormon youth or parents wondering what training for a mission looks and feels like). Take a look at the following video exploring the new Provo MTC, or read more about Missionary Training Centers all over the world (some current details may differ slightly from the time of printing of the article).

I have to say that the new additions to the Provo MTC are incredible. I was able to help with and take a tour last year before it was dedicated and put into operation. I’m excited for my son that he gets to experience this new MTC.

Several times since Wednesday, I have tried to picture what my boy might be doing during the day. I breathe and try to remember a little of what I felt that day I started my journey as a missionary nearly 25 years ago.

Godspeed, my dear son. I love you so very much.

The post Memoir of a Missionary Momma, Day One+ appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Image credit: Wikimedia Commons; Photographer Girlfierce Photography. Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. The photo is entitled “One Step a Time”

There’s been a theme showing up in my life the past few days, something I wanted to write about. It’s summed up in one word: Obedience.

That word, though. Sometimes it can give me a little bit of a panic attack — not because I don’t believe in it, but because my perfectionistic self has spent a lot of time over the years hand-wringing about my inability to be perfectly obedient to all of God’s commandments all of the time. I am also easily overwhelmed at the checklists of what Good Mormons Do. In addition, I have sweat a lot of bullets over the years about how very short I fall in being like the Savior in terms of character traits.

Because, after all, He was perfect. 

And I’m not.

Many months ago, I set to trying to understand this key doctrinal principle better. I turned to Nephi in the Book of Mormon, because Nephi talks a lot about obedience. I thought maybe he’d be able to teach me something.

Teach me he did. (Well, the Lord taught me, but you know what I mean.)

I was reminded, of course, that Nephi was an obedient soul. He lived the law of Moses. He cared about the Ten Commandments (or else he wouldn’t have cared about the whole Laban thing). And, like I said, he just talked a lot about obedience. It mattered to him.

But what I noticed as I studied more about Nephi and his obedience is that a good portion of the time when he was talking about obedience, he was talking about obedience to personal revelation, not about the general commandments God gives us all. (Again, obedience in that sense mattered to him.)

But this additional insight about obedience really mattered to me, because suddenly it made obedience more personal — something that isn’t just about me trying to be a Good Christian or a Good Mormon, but about me coming to know what God wants me, Michelle, to know and do in my own life.

I’ve been thinking about Nephi again this week. I read a letter from a nephew who just entered the Missionary Training Center. His letters are amazing. (Speaking of Nephi, he organizes his letters into “Large Plates” general stuff and “Small Plates” spiritual insights. Love it.)

As I read his letter to one of my daughters, a thread appeared in his letter. I combine something he said in the Large Plates part of his letter with something from the Small Plates.

We’re currently teaching a tentative atheist…who has lots of questions. Our discussions are super fun but we always manage to get across an important central message and commitment regardless of her slightly random questions. She’s progressing and seeks more light and truth every day, and is willing to do so by keeping commitments (D&C 93:28). [Read that scripture — it matters to this post.]….

There are three main levels of scripture study: learning information, gaining insight, and receiving revelation. The first one builds knowledge, the second builds understanding, but the third will always include personal application and a call to action by the Spirit. I realized that I am too often blinded by information and too easily satisfied with insight that I don’t gain the most important objective.

In a similar vein, the high level of repetition in church lessons, the scriptures, and ordinances of the gospel and temples are not intended for informative purposes alone, but to facilitate revelatory experiences….

Receiving revelation will only increase our faith if we act on it. Hence, Laman and Lemuel built no lasting faith from signs and angels because they didn’t act upon the answers the received.

That insight about Laman and Lemuel really struck me. A key thing that separated them from the happiness that Nephi and his people found was simple obedience, acting upon what they had seen and learned.

It was with my nephew’s thoughts rolling around in my mind and heart that I re-read the first talk in the Saturday afternoon session of October 1972 General Conference.

The life of the Savior is replete with instances where he applied the principle of “Thy will be done, not mine.” Christ’s ability to apply this great principle in his life made it possible for him to become perfect.

As we apply “Thy will be done, not mine” in our lives, we will likewise move toward perfection and true happiness….

To obtain the desired happiness on this earth and in the world to come, we must steadfastly face trials and tribulations regardless of the form they take, with the spirit, “Thy will be done, not mine.”

My mind then drifted to a quote that is shared in the Church’s 12-step program — a program that for me is a key part of my spiritual life. This is from Elder Neal A. Maxwell:

“The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him” (“Insights from My Life,” Ensign, Aug. 2000, 9).

(As a side-note: This is not an easy concept for me to grasp, in part because I sometimes simply don’t know that I know what God’s will is. That is part of my hand-wringing, too. Sometimes I spend so much time and energy worrying about what God wants me to do, afraid of doing something wrong. And yet…what I am learning as I come to know God better is that His will often makes itself known. I don’t have to wring my hands or worry myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t ever have to wrestle (again, I think of Nephi), but God does find ways to let me know what He wants me to do. More on that in a minute.)

A couple of hours after this train of thought was moving in me, I happened to need President Uchtdorf’s most recent talk (He Will Place You On His Shoulders and Carry You Home) for something I was working on. Once again, the message of willing obedience was right there for me to ponder.

Because [the Good Shepherd] loves you, He will find you. He will place you upon His shoulders, rejoicing. And when He brings you home, He will say to one and all, “Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.”

But, you might be thinking, what is the catch? Surely I have to do more than simply wait to be rescued.

While our loving Father desires that all of His children return to Him, He will force no one to heaven.⁴ God will not rescue us against our will.

So what must we do?

Usually, my brain gets ready for the checklist, or the injunction we often hear to keep ALL of God’s commandments. But like I said (even though I’m a basic commandment follower), that concept of ALL overwhelms my anxious, perfectionistic mortal brain. President Uchtdorf’s thoughts reflect more of what I’ve experienced as I’ve come to understand more about how God works in my life.

[Coming to Christ] requires a little faith. But do not despair. If you cannot muster faith right now, begin with hope.

If you cannot say you know God is there, you can hope that He is. You can desire to believe.⁸ That is enough to start.

Then, acting on that hope, reach out to Heavenly Father. God will extend His love toward you, and His work of rescue and transformation will begin.

Over time, you will recognize His hand in your life. You will feel His love. And the desire to walk in His light and follow His way will grow with every step of faith you take.

We call these steps of faith “obedience.”

Elder Richards says that obedience is the key to perfection. And that was how I was going to title this post.

What I felt as I read Elder Richards’ talk, though, was more along the lines of what President Uchtdorf said. This kind of line-upon-line obedience that President Uchtdorf describes is an obedience that I can wrap my brain around. I can seek to engage with God, today, seeking to see His hand, today, and by doing this each day, I can increase in faith and faithfulness. I can increase in grace and truth…just as Jesus did.  (Huh. Maybe it’s easier to be like Jesus than I thought.) The difference between me and Jesus is that I have a Savior to make up the difference. He had to walk it all perfectly (but how did He do it? By engaging with God each moment, each day), and because He did that, all I have to do is start where I am, today. It’s my job to be mortal. It’s His job to make up the difference.

Start where you are (another President Uchtdorf phrase)! Isn’t that a hope-filled thought? One day at a time, we can be perfected as we become more perfect in our trust in God’s will and love for us — collectively and individually.

As I wrote this post, a favorite insight from a 12-step author I love came to mind. I end my post with her thoughts.

“I’ve learned some ideas about God’s will for my life, about God, and about my relationship to God. God’s will is not an outside, impossible, forced agenda for my life. If it’s God’s will, it happens. Usually, it happens naturally, without any control efforts required on my part.

“At times, there have been hard lessons to learn. These lessons had to be learned, however, to work things out inside me so I could have the best possible life.

“Usually, I have to wait longer than I want to. And much letting go is involved in the process.

“God’s love is immediate and powerful, yet gentle, healing, and nurturing. It takes into account what I want and need. God’s will contains discipline, not deprivation….

“Stepping into God’s care is a gentle step, one that brings peace and harmony.” (Melodie Beattie, A Codependent’s Guide to the Twelve Steps, p. 55)

– – – – –

Posts from this week’s General Conference Odyssey are below.

– All Things Work for Good, Even Detours by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/all-things-work-f…

– – – –

Posts from last week’s Odyssey (highlighting the 1972 Saturday morning session) are below:

– Home is Heaven’s Construction Site by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/home-is-heavens-…/

The post Obedience — Start where you are #ldsconf Odyssey appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

One of the things I appreciate about being a part of this effort is to read the words of my fellow brothers and sisters. Their perspectives and experience enrich my experience engaging the words of the prophets. Of course, we don’t want our posts to replace the words of the prophets, but we hope perhaps this project will inspire you in some way, as it has us.

The other posts from this week’s reading, which focused on the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1971 General Conference, are at the bottom of the post.

– – – –

Then-Elder Gordon B. Hinckley, shared this in the Sunday Afternoon October 1971 General Conference:

I recall sitting in this Tabernacle when I was fourteen or fifteen—up in the balcony right behind the clock—and hearing President Heber J. Grant tell of his experience in reading the Book of Mormon when he was a boy. He spoke of Nephi and of the great influence he had upon his life. And then, with a voice ringing with a conviction that I shall never forget, he quoted those great words of Nephi: “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Ne. 3:7.)

There came into my young heart on that occasion a resolution to try to do what the Lord has commanded. I would that I might have the power, through the Spirit of the Lord, similarly to touch someone in this congregation today.

What marvelous things happen when men walk with faith in obedience to that which is required of them!

The principle of obedience is one that I have pondered for quite some time. When we talk of obedience to commandments, we typically are referring to obedience to God’s commandments given through prophets. The more of life I see, the more grateful I am for the clarity about God’s commandments that we have in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So many problems can just be avoided by obeying God’s commandments — both those revealed anciently in the Old and New Testament (the Ten Commandments, the Two Great Commandments, etc.) and also those revealed in this dispensation, such as the Word of Wisdom.

As the granddaughter of an alcoholic (who, for the record, found recovery in her life), I have wondered more than once if I could be one of the “weakest of all saints” that the Word of Wisdom was given for. God wants to protect us from things we may not even know about ourselves, such as being prone to substance addiction because of genetics.

Another commandment I have been feeling grateful for as a parent is the law of chastity. I see so many good parents who, through no fault of their own, had no experience with living the law of chastity in their youth and young adult years. With no experience, and no religious reason to teach sexual purity to their children, patterns of promiscuity of varying degrees are passed along to the next generation (and likely multiplied and intensified in a digital world). Healthy living includes boundaries, and it is simply a reality that individuals with few sexual boundaries in an ever-increasingly-boundary-less society are at risk for emotional, physical, mental, and social harm.

I will never forget the story of a teen who was stunned to learn, from her Mormon friend, that she could say no to sexual advances/demands from boys. She’d never even been taught the option. I love seeing the confidence, courage, and clarity my children have because they know that being chaste is not only a spiritually sound choice, but is also just smart for good emotional, physical, mental, and social health. (If you wonder what I mean by social health, consider this story about how rampant sexting can be. Imagine the social harms that can come when youth share this kind of private information with others, either in “fun” or for more manipulative purposes. This kind of online history could even affect a youth’s educational or future professional goals.)

Anyway, suffice it to say I am a champion of the commandments that God has given to us, to all of His children through prophets. Obviously, it’s a topic that matters mightily to God: the word “commandments” appears over 1500 times in scripture.

There’s an and in there for me, too — a layer to obedience and commandments that is the focus of my post today.

It’s probably been two years or so since I did an earnest study about Nephi and his obedience. I was noticing (just as has been the case with the 1971 General Conference addresses) that commandments were mentioned a lot in his writings. Just doing a simple search today on the word, I see some form of it appearing in

1 Nephi 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22

and

2 Nephi 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 15, 23, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 33

(Incidentally, as I scroll further through the search results, the word appears in the overwhelming majority of chapters of the Book of Mormon (an interesting study for another day). For my purposes today, I’ll be focusing primarily on the patterns in 1 and 2 Nephi.

It is clear from Nephi’s writing that he and his father were obedient to the commandments given through prophets. For example, we know that they lived the law of Moses — not only because Nephi says as much in 2 Nephi 5:10 and 2 Nephi 25:24-28, but also because we have accounts of Lehi and Sariah offering sacrifices on an “altar of stones” (see 1 Nephi 2:7, cf. Deut. 27:4-5). We also know that Nephi was obedient to the commandment of “thou shalt not kill”…

…Until he actually received a commandment to take the life of Laban. Being the obedient person he was, Nephi resisted. The Spirit told him again that this was what he was supposed to do. And then teachings from the Lord were brought to Nephi’s remembrance (see John 14:26).

14 And now, when I, Nephi, had heard these words, I remembered the words of the Lord which he spake unto me in the wilderness, saying that: Inasmuch as thy seed shall keep my commandments, they shall prosper in the land of promise.

15 Yea, and I also thought that they could not keep the commandments of the Lord according to the law of Moses, save they should have the law.

16 And I also knew that the law was engraven upon the plates of brass. 17 And again, I knew that the Lord had delivered Laban into my hands for this cause—that I might obtain the records according to his commandments.

Interestingly, it was the need for his people to keep the commandments that required Nephi to get the brass plates from Laban. Without the commandments as recorded in the scriptures, his people would not be able to fill the measure of their creation in the promised land. In fact, it was the lack of obedience and faith in God’s guidance that finally left Nephi’s brothers fighting against their family and God, with disastrous ramifications that lasted for generations. Again, commandments matter!

The intent of this post is not to focus on the tensions between commandments in this story, as real as they are, except to say that Nephi’s experience could wrongly be wrested to justify disobedience to God’s commandments given through prophets. Nephi wrestled with God mightily about this. He did not want to be the exception. It took a lot of pondering and trust to move forward with this seemingly impossible deed, and it truly was the exception guided by God to fulfill His purposes. Disobedience to fulfill selfish purposes is not of God, plain and simple.

What I do want to focus on is that this kind of trusting obedience defines Nephi and his “go and do” approach to his relationship with God. He obeyed the laws of God given through prophets, and he and his father obediently and faithfully followed the personalized commandments given specifically to them.

In fact, I would submit that much of the time Nephi refers to commandments he and his father followed, he is talking about those personalized commandments. For me, this reality deepens my perspective about what it means to be “willing and obedient,” what it means to “go and do.” It’s a powerful thing to trust in and follow the words of prophets. It’s also extremely powerful to be in tune enough with the Lord to be able to receive personalized commandments and then to have the courage to “go and do.” In fact, I believe that when we are obedient to the words of prophets, we prepare ourselves to also receive personal commandments and guidance that can help us “go and do” what the Lord desires for our lives.

And both kinds of obedience allow us to be instruments in God’s hands to move His work forward and to serve others according to God’s eternal view of what is needed for His children.

I want to reflect on some of the lessons I think we can learn from the examples of “go[ing] and do[ing]” — of being obedient to both general and personal commandments. This list or the reflections I share are anything but exclusive and focus primarily on chapters where the actual word commandments appears. I would love to hear others’ thoughts.

1 Nephi 2:1 — The Lord blesses Lehi for following His commandments to preach to the people of Jerusalem. [God knows our hearts and sees our efforts to obey, and blesses us for that obedience.]

1 Nephi 2:2-3 — the Lord commands Lehi to take his family into the wilderness because the people of Jerusalem want to kill him for giving them the message he was commanded to give. Lehi obeys. [Obedience can sometimes bring trials and difficulty to our lives — even a wilderness experience! — but God will deliver and guide us through those difficulties.]

1 Nephi 3:2-5 — Lehi is commanded to send his sons back to get the plates. [Sometimes God’s commandments won’t seem to send us in the most efficient direction. It would have been more efficient, at least to a mortal brain, to get the plates while they were in Jerusalem. God’s ways are not our ways, and obedience is about us building our relationship with Him and learning about ourselves, not about achieving visible outcomes in the least amount of time.]

1 Nephi 3:7 — Lehi could tell that Nephi had been blessed to be obedient to these personalized commandments without murmuring. [How was he so blessed? The end of 1 Nephi 2 gives us the answer — he sought to know God and to understand Him through prayer, and God softened his heart so he could submit and not rebel. Nephi was who he was because God changed his heart, in response to Nephi’s earnest and humble seeking. Nephi obeyed commandments to seek God, and he gained strength to obey the personal commandments given his family.]

1 Nephi 3-4 — After some trial and error, Nephi is guided as to how to obtain the plates. [Interesting, again, how the how of fulfilling the commandment was both veiled from Nephi until the very moment God revealed it to him, and interesting how much faith it took to be obedient in that seeming impossible situation. He had to have the Spirit with him to discern the voice of God, both in the moment and also in being able to remember all that God had taught him to that point to help him discern.]

1 Nephi 5 — It takes Sariah a little longer to gain her testimony that God had really commanded Lehi as he had and that He truly did and would provide the way. Lehi and Sariah offer sacrifices. [I appreciate that Sariah is honest with her husband and in response he is compassionate and yet boldly unapologetic about the commandments he has received and followed. Even family members of prophets may struggle sometimes to have faith in their teachings. They (Lehi and Sariah) offer sacrifices. (That to me is a striking verse. Again, a topic for another day.)]

1 Nephi 5 — Nephi declares that he and his father had obeyed all the commandments they had been given, including obtaining the records that would “preserve the commandments of the Lord unto [their] children.”

1 Nephi 6, 9, 19 (see also 2 Nephi 5:31-33)– Nephi commands his seed to honor the spiritual purpose of the plates that he had made in obedience to the specific commandment he had received to make them. [These chapters are some of my favorites because they talk about the “wise purpose” that Nephi does not understand, but trusts. He had already made plates, according to the commandment he was given (1 Nephi 19:1) but then he was commanded to make another smaller set of plates, and was given commandments about what should be on the small plates. This “wise purpose” commandment ended up being a blessing for all of the world, and was also a stunningly personal tender mercy for Joseph Smith and Martin Harris, who in their disobedience lost 116 pages of the manuscript of the Book of Mormon. There is so much to be pondered here about the nature of God and how obedience can have consequences for centuries and millennia and beyond. We aren’t just obedient for ourselves, even when commandments are given to us personally. I also love how in 1 Nephi 19:4, Nephi gives the commandments about what to do with the plates after his death, and he leaves room for the reality that God may give additional commandments along the way — he encourages obedience to commandments before they even are given. Obedience was his watchword!]

1 Nephi 7 — Lehi receives the commandment for his sons to return, again, to Jerusalem, to bring Ishmael and his family with them in the wilderness so they could marry and have children. [They received the personalized commandment to go back to Jerusalem so that they could keep the general commandments to marry and to have children. God can open up ways for us to fulfill these eternally-important commandments of marriage and child-bearing and -rearing according to His will and plan for our individual lives.]

1 Nephi 8 — Lehi’s dream drives him to urge his children to keep the commandments. The dream represents the blessings of obedience and faith and the consequences of not holding fast to the word of God (commandments, doctrines, gospel, Atonement).

1 Nephi 10 — Even though the word commandments does not appear in this chapter, Nephi is “given authority” (commanded?) to speak and testify of the Savior and of the scattering and gathering of Israel, doctrines also taught by His father. [Once again in this chapter, we also see Nephi heeding the invitation to seek, and preparing to receive revelation about the vision of the tree of life.]

1 Nephi 11-14 — Again, the specific word commandments is not used, but the concepts of covenants, repentance, captivity vs. “peace and life eternal,” coming to Christ, and eschewing the world are woven throughout Nephi’s glorious vision of the tree of life. The fruits of Nephi’s obedience are here in this vision, in the very fact that he was able to receive it.

1 Nephi 15 — Nephi’s brothers are frustrated because they don’t understand what Nephi has seen and taught. Nephi reiterates the words of the Lord that were fulfilled for him in receiving this vision: “If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.” [The promise is true for us as well. We can receive knowledge, inspiration, and understanding if we will ask in faith and be obedient to God’s commandments.]

1 Nephi 15:24-25 — Nephi teaches his brothers about hearkening and holding fast to the word of God and how protection from destruction comes from faith, diligence, and obedience to commandments.

1 Nephi 16:8 — Once again, Nephi declares that he and his father had fulfilled all of the commandments that they had received. Nephi declares that he “had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly.”

1 Nephi 16:9 — Lehi is commanded to embark on the journey into the wilderness. [I love how in the next verse, a way is provided to guide them through that journey: the Liahona. As they followed the directions — as they were obedient to the guidance given — they were “led…in the more fertile parts of the wilderness (v. 16). Verse 28 also teaches that the directions came via the Liahona “according to the faith and diligence and heed [obedience!] which [they] did give unto” the directions given.]

1 Nephi 16:23 — I see this verse as potential evidence of Nephi’s obedience to the commandment to honor his father and honor priesthood authority. [Even though his father had murmured in his hunger, Nephi did not violate those commandments in order to get direction about where to go to get food.] The Liahona guided Nephi to the top of the mountain [not insignificant] to find food for their families.

1 Nephi 16:39 (cf 1 Nephi 18:15, 20): Even though Laman and Lemuel murmured and were rebellious a good majority of the time in this whole process, we do see times when after much chastening they did change their ways, albeit temporarily. It is not insignificant to me that even their temporary obedience, even though it came only as a response to much chastening, brought blessings to the family. In chapter 16, it allowed the families to keep finding food. In chapter 18, it calmed the storm that was threatening their lives and enabled the Liahona to work again.

1 Nephi 17 — Nephi is commanded to build a ship. His “go and do” character is so evident in this chapter. (The word commandment shows up in some form or another 15 times in this chapter!)

1 Nephi 20 — Nephi quotes Isaiah who testifies of Christ and of the blessings of peace and righteousness that flow from obedience to God’s commandments.

1 Nephi 22 — Nephi teaches his brothers that the scriptures testify “that a man must be obedient to the commandments of God” (v. 30) and that such obedience, plus endurance to the end, brings salvation. As is the case with many other chapters, Nephi also testifies of Christ and of the need for repentance (a commandment!)

2 Nephi 1, 2, 3 — Lehi’s teaching about God’s mercies, deliverance, and the promised land are beautiful and urgent. He is reaching the end of his life. There is little else he wants his children to understand: The promises of freedom and blessings in the land of promise according to obedience to commandments  — promises repeated throughout the Book of Mormon — are real, and extend to families and generations, even nations. Likewise, the dangers and natural consequences (both temporal and spiritual) of not being obedient to God’s commandments are also real. Lehi also poignantly expresses his gratitude for Nephi’s obedience (v. 24), which enabled their family to be led and saved in the wilderness. Lehi also validates that Nephi has the authority to command them to obey (vs. 27).

2 Nephi 2 is one of the most powerful sermons on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Lehi teaches how the law and commandments are inextricably tied to the doctrine of the Atonement. Indeed, the entire plan of salvation — even the reality of God, the existence of agency, and the essential role of the Savior — all hinge on the reality of laws and commandments. (See also 2 Nephi 9)

2 Nephi 3 — Besides the personal counsel Lehi gives to Joseph, his son, he also prophecies about Joseph Smith and the commandments that Lehi saw he would be given relative to bringing forth the plain and precious knowledge of the covenants of God, truths that can deliver and gather Israel. [We are so blessed to have the Book of Mormon and to know of the Restoration of these truths!]

2 Nephi 4 — I find it interesting that Lehi blesses the children of Laman and Lemuel in spite of the lack of faith and teaching that they were receiving. [Even as the Book of Mormon clearly teaches about the generational effects of disobedience, I think this chapter also reveals that God’s mercy is always available, and that accountability for disobedience rests with those who are disobedient. The ripple effects of such disobedience are part of accountability for such disobedience. It’s both sobering and freeing to consider this teaching and blessing that Lehi offers. His words echo Doctrine and Covenants 68:24.)

2 Nephi 5 is a sobering chapter, and is the chapter I will end on. Like his father before him, Nephi’s life is in danger and he is commanded to lead his people into the wilderness. Those who went with him were those who “believed in the warnings and the revelations of God” and who did “hearken unto [Nephi the prophet’s] words.” These were people who “did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things, according to the law of Moses.” As a result, they “lived after the manner of happiness.” [I think it’s interesting to note that even though the commandment was personal, specific to his situation, there are also patterns in what he was commanded to do. Perhaps we will all have opportunities to follow God’s guidance into a wilderness, a way He will deliver us from dangers and help us find happiness.]

From his writings in 2 Nephi 25, we know that all of the obedience that his people practiced was not just about doing things, like a checklist. The heart of their obedience was about worshiping the Savior and teaching their children about Him. This reflects what Elder Bruce R. McConkie’s entire talk from this session of the 1971 General Conference was about.

[T]he Lord said: “I give unto you these sayings that you may understand and know how to worship, and know what you worship, that you may come unto the Father in my name, and in due time receive of his fulness.

“For if you keep my commandments you shall receive of his fulness, and be glorified in me as I am in the Father; therefore, I say unto you, you shall receive grace for grace.” (D&C 93:7–20.)

In other words, true and perfect worship consists in following in the steps of the Son of God; it consists in keeping the commandments and obeying the will of the Father to that degree that we advance from grace to grace until we are glorified in Christ as he is in his Father. It is far more than prayer and sermon and song. It is living and doing and obeying. It is emulating the life of the great Exemplar.

Elder McConkie then lists numerous ways we worship the Lord through obedience, then summarizing his point by this simple statement:

“[Worship of the Lord] is ten thousand times ten thousand things. It is keeping the commandments of God. It is living the whole law of the whole gospel.

“To worship the Lord is to be like Christ until we receive from him the blessed assurance: “Ye shall be even as I am.””

In my life through the years, it has been all too easy to think about obedience more as going through the motions of doing — saying prayers and reading scriptures and attending church and fulfilling callings, because that is what Mormons do. Those things alone don’t bring happiness or conversion, however. It’s the worship of and reliance on and trust in the Lord that does! When we bring a spirit of true worship, as Nephi did, to our “go and do” obedience, then our natures, even our very existence, can be changed. We can, as Nephi said, be “alive in Christ.”

This is the purpose of obedience. It is to become, not just to do.

I close with one more quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks, this one from October 2000:

“[T]he Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.”

I am grateful for Nephi’s example of doing to become more like and to to worship the Savior.

– – – –

Other posts from this session of the General Conference Odyssey:

* On the Inevitability of Worship by Nathaniel Givens
http://difficultrun.nathanielgivens.com/…/on-the-inevitabi…/

The post Go, Do, Become appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

One of the things I appreciate about being a part of this effort is to read the words of my fellow brothers and sisters. Their perspectives and experience enrich my experience engaging the words of the prophets. Of course, we don’t want our posts to replace the words of the prophets, but we hope perhaps this project will inspire you in some way, as it is inspiring us, to engage their words with more deliberateness and faith.

The other posts from this week’s reading, which focused on the Priesthood Session of the October 1971 General Conference, are at the bottom of the post.

– – – –

And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away.

~2 Nephi 2:13

Reading these General Conference talks from 1971 has been a meaningful experience for a lot of reasons. It’s interesting to see how relevant the messages are, how timeless so much of the counsel is, how prescient much of the preaching was.

Not only am I interested in watching for patterns across decades, I also am struck by patterns that appear within each conference. For example, so many talks focused on the commandments. Note titles like, “Should the Commandments be Rewritten?” and “The Ten Commandments” and “‘Thou Shalt Not‘” and “‘Thus Saith the Lord.” Specific commandments such as honesty, chastity, and the Word of Wisdom were addressed in numerous talks throughout the October 1971.

This focus on clear teaching of the commandments has been reviewed by a lot of the General Conference Odyssey bloggers, and with reason. We live in a world where the commandments of God are often ignored on one hand, or broken in ignorance on the other. The culture of “do what you want” is all the more pervasive than it was 45 years ago. Truly, the messages about commandments are timeless.

My title was actually chosen Sunday night after reading through my General Conference Odyssey friends’ blog posts from last week. On one of the posts (which for some reason is now returning a 404 message), there was a comment from someone who was feeling frustrated at the message focused on commandments, the importance of righteous parenthood, and the Church’s mission to save the world (yet another theme that appeared in these 1971 talks).

I could sympathize with this person’s comments, not because I take issue with a focus on commandments or the mission of the Church or the importance of good parenting, but because I know there are a lot of situations where pain exists in the life of a parent or loved one (or child) because of the choices of another. And sometimes, a message focused only on commandments may not offer the solace that a soul may need when the commandments are being lived but life is just hard.

I think of Jacob’s words when he had to speak with sharpness to the disobedience of the men in his congregation, knowing that there were others who needed a different message.

Wherefore, it burdeneth my soul that I should be constrained, because of the strict commandment which I have received from God, to admonish you according to your crimes, to enlarge the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of consoling and healing their wounds; and those who have not been wounded, instead of feasting upon the pleasing word of God have daggers placed to pierce their souls and wound their delicate minds.

I wonder sometimes how our leaders feel when they feel prompted to speak about commandments. Do they sometimes feel like Jacob did? I imagine they might.

And yet, as I read these General Conference talks, I am reminded that the responsibility is on us, the listeners, to hold the message of the whole of the gospel as we listen to individual talks. No one talk can cover that whole.

In truth, of course, the commandments are evidence of God’s love, and I think our leaders urge us to remember and understand that. We are right to feel an urgency to uphold the commandments, because that is part of our mission as a Church. I love how the 1971 conference messages also remind us that we have a God-given duty to communicate His love and mercy as we minister to others.

When looking at the whole of the messages of the October 1971 conference so far, that message is very clear. Thus, while some of the talks may be “reproving betimes with sharpness,” other talks can reach out to those who need also to hear of God’s love in a direct way, and can remind us of our duty to channel that love to others.

For example, consider Marvin J. Ashton’s talk, “You Can Get There from Here,” (I invite you to listen to this talk because even Elder Ashton’s voice radiates compassion.)

Elder Ashton helps people understand the reality that commandments are compassionate:

“Young people, be not deceived. God loves you. He cares about you. He wants you back in his paths, where there is comfort, companionship, and purpose.”

And then, he urges leaders to be sure to communicate God’s love with clarity:

We as leaders need to effectively communicate to our youth that God loves them no matter where they are. We need to sacrifice our time and talents in this direction….

I pray to God that we in the future may communicate the positive, the happy, the abundant way of life to those around us.

Elder Ashton shares stories of hope, stories of people who have found God’s love even when they might have thought they had strayed too far from God’s way. (I am fairly certain that one of these stories is of one of the people mentioned in Elder Brown’s talk that I wrote about last week. If not, it’s a very similar story. Again, patterns were so evident in this October conference!)

I loved this story of hope, too, from a young man in a family situation that was not ideal for fostering faith. This story shows that family circumstance need not determine one’s destiny. Agency is always intact — a true evidence of God’s love.

A few weeks ago, I was visiting with an elder in the mission field. During our interview, I inquired, “Is your father a member of the Church?”

He said, “No.”

“Is your mother a member of the Church?” he was asked.

He responded with a smile, “Just barely.”

I said, “Did your father want you to go on a mission?”

He answered, “No.”

“Did your mother want you to go on a mission?”

“She really didn’t care whether I went or not.”

“Who influenced you most in your decision to go?”

Without hesitation he said, “I did. I’ve always wanted to go, and I knew I could make a success of it.”

Elder Ashton also pointedly warns against reproof when perhaps a different kind of response is warranted.

Many drug abusers are desperately trying to find their way back today. The road is difficult, the challenge tremendous. I am pleased to report many are making it, thanks to friends and volunteer members, priesthood bearers, who are concerned, care, and understand. Very often our glances, our indifference, our hasty comments and lack of patience convey the message, “You are hopeless. You can’t get back from here. You are too far down the road.”

After visiting with one of our young women who has been lost to drugs for many months, her only encouraging remark after more than three hours of sincere communication was, “Thanks for not chewing me out.” Two visits later she asked, “Do you think I would make a good schoolteacher?” To a sincere yes, she said, “Thanks, I’ll try. I’m only three semesters away from getting my teaching certificate.” This girl is making it back. Someone believes in her. Someone has convinced her she can get there from here. The trip she is on this time will bring her back home.

Other messages about compassion were also plentiful in this priesthood session of conference.

For example, N. Eldon Tanner ended his talk by saying

May the Lord bless us that we might realize the importance of a soul; that right in our midst we have people needing attention and help, and it is our responsibility to keep them active, to encourage them, and to reach them if they are having problems.

(Like Elder Hanks, though, Elder Tanner also urged individuals to reach out to their leaders and take responsibility for their activity as well. Once again, compassion is not the only answer — obedience and accountability also allow people to access God’s love!)

From Robert L. Simpson’s talk, “Strengthen Thy Brethren“:

A recurring theme during the life of the Savior as he taught the people was that each man is his brother’s keeper. No priesthood obligation is more important. The scriptures say something very similar but in another way that I like very much: “… when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.” (Luke 22:32.)

Interestingly, Elder Simpson teaches how holding up the commandments is, again, an important way to show love, and is part of our covenant responsibility:

The world today tells you to leave your friend alone. He has the right to come and go as he pleases. The world tells you that persuasion to attend church or priesthood meeting or to discard a bad habit might lead to frustration and undue pressures; but again I repeat the word of the Lord: You are your brother’s keeper, and when you are converted, you have an obligation to strengthen your brother.

How can we know how to strengthen those around us? Elder Simpson uses the words of the Lord to guide us:

He also says: “Therefore, verily I say unto you, lift up your voices unto this people; speak the thoughts that I shall put into your hearts, and you shall not be confounded before men;

“For it shall be given you in the very hour, yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say.”….

“… inasmuch as ye do this the Holy Ghost shall be shed forth in bearing record unto all things whatsoever ye shall say.” (D&C 100:5–8.)

I loved Elder Marion D. Hanks’ talk, again giving specific examples of the kinds of struggles youth (and others) have in their lives. His talk, in particular, felt like it could have been written in 2016 because he addressed topics that are hitting headlines in our time. For example, he shared the anguish of a stalwart family who lost a son to suicide, and a letter from someone who had a friend “who questions a Church position which he feels he cannot accept, which he thinks makes his position in the Church tenuous or untenable.”

“What can we do?” Elder Hanks asks.

“How can we help this great young generation meet the challenges of their time? I am certain that we must thoughtfully examine not only their needs and their problems, and what we have to give them, but how we undertake to give it, and what we appear to them to be as they observe it. I have been rethinking my own experience and will give you just an example or two quickly. May I do it in the spirit of a statement that to me for a long time has been very choice: ‘Neither laugh nor weep, nor loathe, but understand.'”

And then, like other leaders, Elder Hanks teaches how essential the commandments are to helping youth know of God’s love. I love that he talks about the fact that how we reach out matters, but the what cannot be ignored as we reach out in love.

“[T]hey need faith. They need to believe. They need to know the doctrines, the commandments, the principles of the gospel….

[T]hey need to be accepted as they are, and to be included. [They need family above all] and they need the supportive influence outside their home of others, of neighbors, of friends, of bishops, of brothers, of human beings.

As others in this session taught, Elder Hanks taught that love can also be shown by giving people opportunities to serve, and

“[T]hey have to learn somehow that they are more important than their mistakes; that they are worthwhile, valuable, useful; that they are loved unconditionally.”

I find it interesting how unconditional love and the need for commandments (God’s conditions for being able to bless us with His full measure of love) are taught in the same talk? I’m reminded of Elder Oaks’ profound sermon, “Love and Law.”

The love of God does not supersede His laws and His commandments, and the effect of God’s laws and commandments does not diminish the purpose and effect of His love….

Some seem to value God’s love because of their hope that His love is so great and so unconditional that it will mercifully excuse them from obeying His laws. In contrast, those who understand God’s plan for His children know that God’s laws are invariable, which is another great evidence of His love for His children.

This reality of the dance between love and law, between commandments and compassion, is something I will continue to ponder as we finish the 1971 General Conference messages and prepare for the 2016 April General Conference which is fast approaching.

God’s love is both in His law, and in His mercy when we break His law. He desires to protect us from undue harm in a world full of conspiring people and philosophies which could lure us away from His ways, and He desires to help us find our way back when and if we stray. He desires us to teach the commandments and to teach of His love.

It’s all there in the whole of the message of the gospel. I pray we can all have eyes to see the beautiful mosaic of that whole that our leaders create as will let the Spirit show how their messages weave together in a tapestry of truth.

– – – –

Other posts in this week’s Odyssey:

The post Commandments and Compassion (#ldsconf Odyssey) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

One of the things I appreciate about being a part of this effort is to read the words of my fellow brothers and sisters. Their perspectives and experience enrich my experience engaging the words of the prophets. Of course, we don’t want our posts to replace the words of the prophets, but we hope perhaps this project will inspire you in some way, as it has us.

The other posts from this week’s reading, which focused on the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 1971 General Conference, are at the bottom of the post.

– – – – –

My brothers and sisters, it is my desire and hope that I might say something meaningful to those who find themselves confused, discouraged, and lost in this mixed-up world—something that will give each one encouragement and faith that there is a way to find oneself.

So begins Victor L. Brown in his October 1971 talk, “I Was in Prison, and Ye Came Unto Me.”

I write this post with similar hopes.

In this mortal world, where the veil blocks our view and understanding of what we knew when we lived with God before, it is no wonder that sometimes we feel alone, afraid, confused, and overwhelmed. My head knows the truths of the gospel; I can give all the answers about why I shouldn’t feel alone, afraid, confused, or overwhelmed. But sometimes in my mortal weakness, I still do. (Perhaps you do at times, too?)

When I’m feeling this way, personal stories of hope and healing reach my heart faster than just about anything.

Before reviewing Elder Brown’s talk, I would like to share one of my favorite stories of hope and healing, from a friend named Mark. I hope you will take a moment to watch this video.

Mark had spent five years in the Arizona State prison system and immediately ended up in trouble with the law, which landed him back in the criminal justice system. For nine years.

He talks of having “unmistakable feelings that God was reaching out.”

“God, I believe that you’re there, and I believe that you are trying to help me. What I don’t understand is why. Why would you want to help me – I’m a convict, I’m an addict, I’m an alcoholic and I haven’t tried to follow you? Why would you want to try to help me?”

The answer? “It’s because I love you.”

Mark gained a conviction of God’s reality and a testimony of the Church. He was able to serve a mission. He went to BYU. After a hard break-up with a girlfriend, the hole in his soul that he’d tried to fill with addiction started to call to him again, and he ended up back in addictive behavior, including using, living on the streets, and robbing a store at gunpoint. As Mark sat in the bushes, hiding from the police after the robbery, the horror of what he had done hit him. He felt so hypocritical — after all, God had saved him already once before, and he felt he had thrown that away. And now he had caused terror in the life of another human being as he had held up the store.

Mark had the gun, this time pointed toward himself, ready to end his life.

And then the words came clearly to his mind:

“I’m still here.”

Mark followed the prompting to turn himself in. He spent nine more years in the prison system, and with the help of 12 steps (a guide to the Atonement), turned his life around. He is now married with a son and shares his tender, powerful testimony with others as a missionary in the Church’s Addiction Recovery Program.

– – – –

I grew up in a strong home, with parents who loved each other and the gospel. I was a good kid, a rule-follower, always active in the Church, always the obedient child (except with that eighth grade science teacher — I don’t know what my deal was with him, but I was such an obnoxious student in that class). I served a mission at 21, loved serving in the Church in college, in graduate school, as a young single adult starting my career on the East coast, as a young married, and as a young mother.

But even with my testimony and all my church activity, I had my own hole in the soul. I loved God as well as I knew how — by serving Him and being obedient — and was devoted to His work. But, quite frankly, I also feared Him (and not in the way the scriptures encourage us to fear God). I perceived Him more like a referee waiting for me to make a mistake, than a Father ever-ready to help and lift me. I could genuinely testify of and believe in His love for others, but I always worried that I wasn’t doing enough to deserve His love myself. I felt His guidance in my life decisions, but I didn’t ever feel settled, safe in His arms. That unsettledness only added to my shame, because I was a good Mormon! I knew I should feel better, happy. But I often didn’t.

Real struggles with anxiety and depression surely contributed to some of this struggle, to be sure. But over the past few years, I have come to realize that at the core of my unsettledness — that hole in my soul — was a set of false beliefs about God that I’d been carrying around my whole life. I was in my own kind of prison without really knowing it, definitely not knowing how to get out.

Joseph Smith taught: “It is the first principle of the gospel to know for a certainty the character of God.” “I want you all to know Him,” he said, “and to be familiar with Him.” ² We must have “a correct idea of his … perfections, and attributes,” an admiration for “the excellency of [His] character.” ³ (Quoted by Elder Holland in “The Grandeur of God.”)

Stories like Mark’s have helped me come to understand the nature of God more fully.

No wonder I liked Elder Brown’s talk.

– – – –

Jim and Ed found God and the Church in an “unlikely setting” — the prison system. Just like Mark, these were men who had spent years wandering aimlessly in life, violating laws of God and the land. And, in God’s way at time, they also discovered a loving God ready and waiting to help them.

Jim’s story was one of a broken home and painful childhood. He got in trouble with the law. But while there, he was introduced to an LDS chaplain.

“Even though he found himself in prison, he had taken the first step to a freedom he had not known existed.

“After a few weeks of exposure to the program of the Church specially designed for prison life, he said he was able to give up smoking. He became involved in the various religious programs sponsored by the Church social service agency. He said, “I haven’t smoked a cigarette since that day. I haven’t had a cup of coffee since December of last year.” He goes on to tell of the good feeling of accomplishment in overcoming bad personal habits.

“He also tells about the family home evening program conducted by his home teachers. He explained that he would have given up in discouragement many times had it not been for this wonderful couple who had been assigned as his home teachers. He said they actually loved him as a son, something he had never experienced in his life, even as a little boy. In his own words: “I have been in this program since June 16, 1970. For these sixteen months, I probably made more changes in my life—inside these walls away from the rat race of society—that I know are going to determine my whole future more than the first twenty-three years of my life before prison. I had no idea at all what the LDS people were or what the Church was until I went to prison.

“I am not proud of being in prison, but I am proud of my experience while being there.”

Jim graduated from the Church’s inmate Institute program, and was, at the time of the talk, planning to prepare for baptism after he had paid his debt to society.

Ed also was ministered to through a loving couple and family who loved him like their own flesh and blood. He graduated from the inmate Institute program, and was asked to speak at the graduation services that Elder Brown had attended.

As he stood at the pulpit, he took a piece of paper from his pocket. Holding it up to the audience, he said: “You probably can’t read this, but this is the most important document in my life. This is my baptismal recommend that will permit me to be baptized next Thursday.” Ed was baptized. After his confirmation, he walked over to a corner of the room where he could be alone and wept. He wept even more when he was ordained a deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood.

I love how Elder Brown ends his talk by saying that

There are many who find themselves in circumstances similar to those of Jim and Ed—not necessarily confined to a correctional institution, but nevertheless in prison, a prison from which legal authorities cannot release them, a prison of personal habits such as alcohol, drugs, immorality, selfishness, dishonesty, laziness, aimlessness; yes, these can be more confining and damning than any state prison.

I submit that we all have our chains that bind us, and not all are as obvious as some of the ones listed above. Take, for example, this list of things mentioned in Elder A. Theodore Tuttle’s talk from 1971. He quotes a Deseret News article:

“’We chase paychecks, and don’t give a second look to the glint of the rising sun on a snow-topped peak.

“’We chase our way through the appointments of a crowded desk calendar, and fail to take time to chat with the next-door neighbor or to drop in on a sick friend.

“’We chase social pleasures on a glittering noisy treadmill—and ignore the privilege of a quiet hour telling bedtime stories to an innocent-eyed child.

“’We chase prestige and wealth, and don’t recognize the real opportunities for joy that cross our paths. …’”

Elder Tuttle continues:

“Someone rephrased this thought: ‘Too often we are involved in the thick of thin things.’

In modern revelation the Lord said:

“Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?

“Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men. …” (D&C 121:34–35.)

Here is instruction to straighten out our values.

Note again the admonition: “their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world”—not on the things of the spirit. And they “aspire to the honors of men,” rather than seeking approval of God.

Or take the things that have kept me imprisoned through so much of my life — things like fear of the future, obsessed perfectionism, “performance=worth” beliefs, insecurity, feelings of being “not enough.” My way of aspiring to honors of men came simply in wanting approval and reassurance in my insecurities, and never wanting to say ‘no’ because I worried about what people would think of me if I did.

And somehow I did not believe that I could get assurances from God in that personal way.

So when I started to hear stories like Mark’s when I brought my perfectionistic, people-pleasing self to the 12-step program, I started to consider that if God can reach out to someone who has just robbed a bank, could He not reach out to me with the same kind of clear, direct, personal love?

If He will find someone in prison and give them freedom, can He not do that for you in whatever may be keeping you feeling stuck in your life?

As mortals, we are find ourselves prisoners in one way or another at times. The message of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that we are all free, through Him, if we will receive what He has done for us and let Him change us, calm us, comfort us, help us.

As I pondered this week’s readings, I was reminded of a favorite scripture that was one my mission trainer and I would cheer en voz alta while leaving our apartment.

“[S]hall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free.”

This scripture is written about the salvation for those who have passed on without the gospel in their lives through temple ordinance work for the dead. But as I reflected on Elder Brown’s talk, I felt that it is a scripture about all of us. We can all be redeemed from our prisons, raised from our own spiritual death — whatever may separate or distract us from the love of God — through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

“Avanzad, en vez de retroceder. ¡Valor, hermanos; e id adelante, adelante a la victoria!”

– – – –

Other posts from this week’s General Conference Odyssey:

The post “The prisoners shall go free” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Editor’s note: This post is part of a collaborative effort of Mormon bloggers who are reading and writing about General Conference talks. We call it the General Conference Odyssey. [See this article at Meridian Magazine sharing more about the Odyssey, including how it came about as well as some thoughts from those of us participating in this project. One of the things I appreciate so much about being a part of this effort is to read the words of my fellow brothers and sisters. Their perspectives and experience enrich my experience engaging the words of the prophets.]

The other posts from this week’s reading, which focused on the Tuesday Afternoon Session (interesting that they did Conference on Tuesdays!) of the April 1971 General Conference, are at the bottom of the post. 

“As we journey along through life we, as individuals, come in contact with many shaded areas, twilight zones, and even dark alleys, where we, unless aided by a higher power, are not able to see clearly, to interpret correctly, and to come to sound conclusions….

“As individuals, we have some limitations when it comes to our understanding of things as they really are. We can see so far, and then the earth and the sky come together, so to speak, and we cannot see beyond. But there is something beyond. In the physical world, all we have to do to realize this is to improve our vantage point by getting on top of a building, on a mountain, or in an airplane….

“Without divine guidance, we will have difficulty in the shaded areas of life. But we need not walk alone. Our Father in heaven and his Son Jesus Christ and the prophets—both ancient and modern—have given us a well-charted course for our journey through life. We can find joy and happiness and we can arrive at our destination in safety if we will but heed the road signs and follow the directions that have been given to us….

“’For we walk by faith, not by sight.’” [2 Cor. 5:7]” ~William H. Bennett

There were some simple, sublime messages that stood out to me from the Tuesday afternoon session of the 1971 Conference. These are truths that even children can and do understand, and yet they are also deep and profound — veritable secrets to the universe. Because keys have been restored, we have the keys to understand the purpose of life.

• We are mortal. We need God.
• We are His children. He and the Savior love us.
• They want to help us.
• They speak to us through the scriptures, through prophets, and through the Holy Ghost.
• When we act in faith and in a spirit of obedience, we can see more clearly.
• The Church is true! This is why we want to share it with others.

I’m hesitant to select only a few quotes because the talks were dense with insight, but here are some that stood out to me, with some commentary of my own interspersed.

“The Holy Ghost can give us a sure conviction that man is a child of God. Altogether too frequently, when men, unaided, try to understand the relationship of man to God, they look at things through mortal eyes only and consider only mortal conditions. But this life is not the beginning, neither is it the end. To understand man’s relationship with God, we must broaden our perspective with the help of the Holy Ghost.” ~William H. Bennett

“The impressions made by the Holy Ghost can be equally deep and lasting [as rare manifestations such as those experienced by Saul/Paul or Alma]. President Joseph Fielding Smith has said, ‘Therefore, the seeing, even the Savior, does not leave as deep an impression in the mind as does the testimony of the Holy Ghost to the spirit. … the impressions on the soul that come from the Holy Ghost are far more significant than a vision. It is where spirit speaks to spirit, and the imprint upon the soul is far more difficult to erase.” (Seek Ye Earnestly [Deseret BookCo., 1970], pp. 213–14.) ~Henry D. Taylor

[That quote from President Smith may be one of my favorite quotes about the Holy Ghost.]

“The Savior, while teaching at the temple, was questioned by the Jewish teachers as to the source of his doctrine, which was astounding to them. Whence came his wisdom? they asked. Jesus answered their troubled inquiries, saying: “… my doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me. If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” (John 7:16–17.) ~Henry D. Taylor 

[This scripture was also quoted by William H. Bennett— a simple, powerful second witness to the importance of action as a requirement for knowledge and understanding.]

“Joseph Smith was called by revelation, as were the prophets of old. John the Baptist restored to him and Oliver Cowdery the keys of the Aaronic Priesthood, followed by Peter, James, and John, who restored the keys of the Melchizedek Priesthood. Elijah returned in the Kirtland Temple and restored the keys of the sealing blessings for the living and the dead.

“Joseph Smith bestowed all the keys upon the Quorum of Apostles before his death. These keys of priesthood authority have been thus preserved to this day and shall continue to usher in the millennial reign of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.” ~Eldred G. Smith 

[In two paragraphs, he summed up some of the most amazing truths we proclaim — prophets! angels! priesthood! keys! life and family after death! As Mormons, do we see what we have? And is it any wonder that we are urged to share these truths with others?]

Add to that Elder Richards‘ testimony:

“Malachi saw before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord when the Lord said he would send Elijah the prophet to “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”(Mal. 4:6.) Just think of that statement. The Jews are still waiting for his coming….”

[Read also his tender words about what is yet to come through the Book of Mormon in bringing the Jews to Christ. I long for that day. I read the Book of Mormon sometimes with that lens, wondering what it will be like when the Jews read Nephi’s words — which were written to and for them — and find Jesus in them.]

More from Elder Richards:

“It is hardly within the capacity of an ordinary man to comprehend and understand what has happened in this world because of Elijah’s coming….” [I can only imagine what Elder Richards thinks now about all that the internet has done for the work of turning hearts of fathers to children and children to fathers!]

“[F]ollowing [Jesus’] resurrection, as he walked along the way by two of his disciples to Emmaus, and we are told that their eyes were holden, that they did not recognize him, when he heard what they had to say about him and his ministry and his crucifixion, he realized that they did not comprehend what he had been trying to teach them, so he said, “O fools, and slow of heart, to believe all that the prophets have spoken” (Luke 24:25), and commencing with Moses and the prophets, he showed them how that in all things the prophets had testified of him.” ~LeGrand Richards 

[I was struck by how even these earnest disciples could not see without the Savior’s help to open their eyes. They didn’t see the patterns in the prophets’ teachings through the ages. They did not see Him of their own ability because they weren’t well-versed in the words of the prophets. Are we not all like this? We all need heavenly help to see what may be right before us. And yet, perhaps we would see more if we did know and study and ponder the patterns in the words of the prophets.]

Also from Elder Richards: “I believe that the words of the prophets are the most sure guide we have in this world today. I believe what Jesus said: ‘Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.’ (Matt. 5:18.)….

“Trust not the wisdom of men.

“I pray that the Lord will help us to go on, still fulfilling his promises of all that he has revealed that has not yet been fulfilled. And I would like to live long enough to see a little more even of these marvelous accomplishments, as a part of this great gospel dispensation. [He lived longer than almost any apostle.]

“With all my heart and soul, I bear you my witness of the divinity of this work, that God the Eternal Father has decreed its destiny. It is built on the foundation of apostles and prophets, with Christ our Lord as the chief cornerstone. And he is guiding his church today, and will continue to do so until he comes in the clouds of heaven as the holy prophets have declared….”

The closing testimony of President Joseph Fielding Smith was simple and powerful, given with great love and also directness (which is evidence of his love!)

He bore testimony of all that has been mentioned here. All that God has given us through his prophets is because of His love, pointing us to the love and grace and guidance of the Savior.

“A gracious and loving Father has in these last days spoken again from heaven to his servants the prophets.

“His voice has been one inviting all men to come to his Beloved Son, to learn of him, to partake of his goodness, to take his yoke upon them, and to work out their salvation by obedience to the laws of his gospel. His voice has been one of glory and honor, of peace in this life, and of eternal life in the world to come.”

But what of those outside our faith who love the Savior and honor God with their lives? President Smith shares one of the most important truths about why Mormonism matters:

“I am not unmindful that there are good and devout people among all sects, parties, and denominations,and they will be blessed and rewarded for all the good they do. But the fact remains that we alone have the fullness of those laws and ordinances which prepare men for the fullness of reward in the mansions above.”

And then, he extends this beautiful invitation which we have heard echoed through prophets in recent years:

“Keep all the good you have; cleave unto every true principle which is now yours; but come and partake of the further light and knowledge which that God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever is again pouring out upon his people.”

Elder Richards talked of the 14,000 missionaries that were serving at the time. Today, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has over 85,000 missionaries…to invite people to “come and see.“

I am grateful to be a member of this Church, to have prophets and restoration scriptures to give further light and knowledge, to help me see even more the love of God, the reality of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the purpose of prophetic patterns, and the reality and importance of laws and ordinances.

It’s true. This I know. Come and see!

If you are struggling to see, lean on God and the His methods has has given to help us see. Lean on the testimonies of others that move you. Move your feet in faith until you can come to a new vista. Trust the process. Truth does come. God is there. In His time and way, as you seek, He will make things known to you. It’s ok to wrestle. Just be sure to let the wrestle include the ways the Lord designated to help us see.

The post Eyes to see (#ldsconf Odyssey) appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

Mormons (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) believe that we as humans exist because our spirits — created by Heavenly Parents before this world was — give life to our earthly bodies. (And death is simply the separation of the body and spirit. Mormons believe in a universal resurrection, where all will have an immortal body reunited with our spirits.)

We were sent here to this mortal sphere to learn by experience, and to discover and understand and live true to as much spiritual truth as we are able to gain in our lifetimes. Mortality gives us much opportunity to experience opposition, the full range of the sweet and the bitter. The sweet can be so breathtaking. And the bitter can feel leave us feeling like we are being hit by waves, unable to catch a breath.

This weekend, I had a chance to have heart-to-heart talks about opposition, trials, and growth with two of my friends. I listened to each share very personal wrestles (and how God is helping them), and they also listened to me open up about some of the “in the quiet heart” struggles I am facing. Some of these are struggles are fears I’ve dealt with since childhood, things I feel like I “should” be over by now. Tearfully, I expressed to both that I feel foolish struggling with (and sharing) these things. My head says that I “should” be better. (“I have a testimony. My spirit knows and feels the answers to my fears….”) But it’s as though my mortal self is not yet able to truly absorb and be changed by the truths. (Four decades is a long time. It’s hard to undo beliefs and thought/belief patterns that form in childhood. And that’s okay. Things take time.)

My friends were both so kind, reminding me that we each have our struggles. As cliché as that may sound, we truly do have experiences that can seem to push all our buttons and sometimes make us wonder what good could come of such pain.

Speaking of clichés, I don’t believe the cliché that God won’t give us anything we can’t handle. He does sometimes give us more than our mortal selves can handle. What good can come of this? We can experience the sweetness of God’s grace and the way hearts can be knit together when we are willing to allow others to help. Life’s experiences also allow us to have empathy for others, to serve and share and lift with educated hearts. This is what I experienced with and from my friends.

The feeling I had being comforted and encouraged by my friends came back to me as I was reading a 1971 General Conference talk by Ezra Taft Benson. A simple phrase leaped off the screen as I read. Then-Elder Benson (who later became the 13th president of the Church) was talking about how not following the Savior can be detrimental to our spiritual progression. As true as I know that is, the simple phrase that spoke to me was where he talked about “our individual battles to overcome our worlds.”

The kindness shown to me felt even more validated in these words. As much as struggle is just part of mortality,  and there can be commonalities to our struggles, the journey we each walk because of them is so. very. personal. My childhood-turned-adulthood fears are an example of my own “individual battle to overcome [my] world.”

How about you? What personal battle scars do you carry so far in your mortal journey? What fears, beliefs, thoughts, weaknesses, or sins repeat in your life and leave you feeling battle weary, and sometimes in over your head, wondering what good could come of this?

For me, for you, I share what Elder Benson continued to teach:

“[W]e are not without his help. Again and again he told his disciples, and all of us, “Let not your heart be troubled. …”

“If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.” [Other scriptures add meaning to this one, reminding us that He will do that which is right and expedient with God’s will for us — helping us understand why sometimes our heartfelt pleas are not granted as we would wish, or as quickly as we would like.]

“I will not leave you comfortless. …”

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. …” (John 14:1, 14, 18, 27.)

If there is one thing living prophets and apostles (and ancient ones, too) teach, it’s this: We need Jesus, and He stands at the helm of each of our individual lives (another thought from my weekend conversations) to help us. I hope you can feel of His strength, help, and love as you face your battles and overcome the trials of your own personal world.

– – – – –

Editor’s note: This post is part of a collaborative effort of Mormon bloggers who are reading and writing about General Conference talks. We’ve started with talks from 1971. The goal is to read and write weekly until all of the talks from prophets and apostles are read. If we keep up the pace we have started, we will have caught up by July 2029 with the April 2029 Conference!

This week, we read the following four talks. I would recommend them all.

Out of the Darkness – Joseph Fielding Smith

Voices of the Past, of the Present, of the Future

Love of the Right by Marvin J. Ashton

Life is Eternal by Ezra Taft Benson

Sometimes I hear people wonder and ask about what Mormon doctrine really is. One way to answer that question is to look at the patterns that are repeated across decades, even centuries of time. It’s a very powerful thing to see the messages from the past that are so relevant to the present (note even the title to Spencer W. Kimball’s talk).

Here are the posts by fellow bloggers about this first cluster of General Conference talks. 

Beginnings and Endings

The General Conference Project: The End of the World, the End of Death, and the End of Shame

The Voices of the Prophets

LDS Conference April 1971- Hippies, Drugs, and Failure in the Home

Custodian and Dispenser of Saving Truth

April 1971: Nothing New Here – Just Same Ol’ Mormonism

The post “Our individual battles to overcome our worlds” appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

We received this poignant question from Kristen. This is a question that others have approached us with as well, so we are grateful for the opportunity to respond to it. I’ve copied part of the question here (the full comment is on our Ask a Question page).

“Is there a place for my children and I in the Mormon church? I know that the Mormon church has wonderful family values and a strong faith. I would like to be a part of that again. However, I am afraid we will not be accepted because I am a divorced single mother.”

Kristen, we are so glad you reached out. Please know with a resounding YES that there is a place for you (link is from a talk entitled “Come, Join with Us”) and your dear children. This is the Savior’s Church, and He desires to gather all to Him. I hope you can imagine Him wrapping His arms around you and your children. As you have clearly felt in your personal life, They love you.

I am so sorry for what you have gone through. A thought from Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles comes to mind. Speaking to those who are divorced in the Church, he said, “We know that many of you are innocent victims—members whose former spouses persistently betrayed [marriage vows] or abandoned or refused to perform marriage responsibilities for an extended period. [People] who have experienced such abuse have firsthand knowledge of circumstances worse than divorce.” It always breaks my heart to hear of those who have experienced those things that make divorce the best option. Again, my heart goes out to you. Know you are not alone.

I have a couple of thoughts that I want to share and then I will include a link to a post from several years ago, written by a woman who is divorced [at the time of the writing she was separated]. Several other commenters also shared their experiences on that post of being either divorced or single in our family-oriented faith.

I first want to say that if you were to enter basically any Mormon congregation, you would find a variety of life experiences and situations. There are those who are married, those who are divorced, those who have never married, those who do have children, and those who don’t. (In the post linked below you will see some of that variety in life experience in the comments.)

But the heart of what I want to say is this: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a family-oriented Church, to be sure, but it is first and foremost the Church of Jesus Christ. Ordinances and covenants of the gospel have Him and His Atonement and grace at the center. When we invite people to learn about the Church and consider baptism, the invitation an invitation to come to Christ. My hope is that as you consider whether or not to join the Church, you will keep Him and your loving Heavenly Father first and foremost at the center of your decision. Yes, you would be joining a Church family (and like any family, things sometimes are imperfect and messy) but the primary purpose of these ordinances is to enjoy the blessings of being connected to God and the power of the Atonement through priesthood covenants. I find this doctrine powerful and comforting, clarifying and unifying — because it’s simply true for all of us. Regardless of what our lives look like at the moment on the outside, we all are learning how to come to Him in recognition of our absolute, utter need of His grace — the enabling and saving power available only through Jesus Christ.

His grace is also what makes all eternal blessings, including those related to marriage and family life — possible for all who enter into covenants with Him, regardless of what present circumstances may be.

I pray you will feel the guidance of your Father in Heaven as you consider this important decision in your life. Also, as Karen says in the post below, we would be happy to reach out to people in your area whom you could meet, if desired, before you go to church meetings so you could start from the get-go not feeling alone.

I also echo what she says, that we hope you can know and feel that there are already people who care about you. We created this site specifically with people like you in mind. You are already loved. And you are definitely not alone in your difficult struggles. Many in the Church have faced similar trials. Feel free to email me at mormonwomen @ gmail if you would like to be connected with Mormon women who are divorced and finding hope and healing — and their place in the Church family — with God’s grace, the support of others, and the power of their faith.

Post by Karen: Ask a Mormon Woman: Is there a place in the LDS Church for those who are single/divorced?

Note: The post was written in 2009, and contains a few links to articles in years previous on lds.org about being single/divorced in the Church. There are many, many other articles and talks on lds.org on these topics. For example, I liked this simple statement that reflects what was in my heart as I wrote today: “The gospel of Jesus Christ was given by God to bless all His children, without exception, regardless of the family situations in which they find themselves.” (From an entry on lds.org about single-parent families.)

God bless you, Kristen, and many others who find themselves asking similar questions.

The post Is there a place for divorced women in Mormonism? appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

I am excited to share that the Mormon Channel has a new video series called #12StepstoChange, talking about the power of 12-step work to help people heal from addiction. Starting September 1st, as part of Addiction Recovery Month, Mormon Channel will feature a story a day from people who have used the 12 steps. Each day will focus on a different step. Edit: You can watch all the videos here.

I plan to share some of that content here, and encourage you to watch the Mormon Channel’s social media channels for updates as well. Find it on Facebook, on Twitter (and YouTube). Or watch the dedicated website page here for updated content.

I also want to say that 12 steps can help with many other things — not just the typical addict’s story (which stories, by the way, are amazing!). I have been doing 12-step work for three and a half years now. I went because there was a lot in my life that was weighing me down, and God guided me to the rooms in various ways over a course of years of time, even before I finally decided to commit to regular attendance and working the steps. (More about my experience here and here.)

I had no idea what to expect but this is some of how my involvement with 12-step recovery and community has changed (and continues to change) my life:

– I found answers about the Atonement that I’d been seeking since my youth (e.g., how do you turn your burden over to Christ?)
– I discovered truth about God that I’d ached to understand but couldn’t access because I had broken beliefs in my brain about Him and was too consumed with earning my worth.
– As a result, I’ve come to know myself with more clarity than ever, and am developing more compassion and understanding for others.
– I’ve come to appreciate the plan of salvation, particularly the doctrine of agency and the need to learn by experience.
– I learned a language (and keep learning more) and a toolkit that have changed my life. This is such a gentle process, and it flows in a “wisdom and order” way that is elegant and clearly divine.
– I have learned that vulnerability, honesty, and asking for help are key to finding God and forging friendships that I hope will last into the eternities. I feel like I’ve experienced glimpses of Zion — changed hearts being knit together in a room where it’s safe to be a messy mortal, to admit your powerlessness, and to testify of God’s amazing, gentle, unspeakable power.

For me, there is no meeting in the Church that is regularly and consistently more powerful than 12-step meetings. I can see why Jesus spent time with people who knew they needed Him, who had nowhere else to go. Humility and reliance on the Savior brings power. And so does the simple willingness to walk into a room seeking help or insight and inspiration about the grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is truly sweeter than sweet to witness it in others’ lives, and to experience it in my own.

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“I laughed a lot.”

That was my 15-year-old daughter’s first response as I asked for her thoughts about “Once I Was a Beehive,” which comes out in theaters today, August 14.

I had seen some buzz around the movie, but honestly didn’t think it’d be something I’d like.

Boy, was I wrong.

I’ve been looking at some of the trailers and such, and let me just say this — in my opinion they don’t come anywhere near capturing the essence of this film. Had I tried to make a decision by the trailer, I would have chosen not to see it. There is a cohesiveness to the story arc that no trailer can capture.

The movie is being pitched as a Girl’s Camp Movie, and of course, I can’t argue with that tack. Most of the film’s story takes place at camp, and I imagine those who have attended Young Women camp will likely laugh just a little harder than others.

But then again, maybe not. Because to me it really isn’t a camp movie. It’s about something more.

The film has a delightful balance of humor and heart that I think is accessible to all. (I heard people leaving the theater who aren’t LDS who loved the film and felt the message of it.] And although I loved the way it playfully (and sometimes a little pointedly) pokes fun at some Mormon cultural quirks (and, even more specifically, quirkiness around Mormon women and stereotypical teenage girls), it has a more universal message about human nature. How easy it is to define and divide ourselves by our differences! Through the simple window of a week-long youth camp, the film reflects on how challenges (and even quirky differences) can help people transcend those differences (if hearts are open just enough), and how much we all desire to feel connection, support, and belonging.

Other reviews will recount more of the details of the story. I tend to just share some of my impressions and thoughts about the media I review.

The comment that struck me most in the Q&A session after the preview screening (besides that the bear scene was not done with a green screen! What??) was from Paris Warner. She plays the main character, Lane. Many of the actors are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but she is not. Paris confessed that she felt a little nervous about taking on this role because of that. But to paraphrase her heartfelt comment, her experience working on the film mirrored her character’s experience — she started with trepidation and ended with a circle of friends.

And so, although my typical policy here at Mormon Women is not to do reviews, once in a while I make an exception. I want to encourage people to support this film. Some may want to because it’s an almost all-female cast, but I hope you will go see it because it is just a fun film that I think deserves more reach and spread.

I plan to see it again, and encourage those who can watch it this weekend to go. Heartfelt thanks to all who worked so hard on this film.

Quick character commentary: Warner did a lovely job in her role as actor and narrator. Lisa Clark is hysterical as the high-strung-yet-devoted Young Women leader. Hailey Smith provides a nice steadying force in the extreme swing of caricatures (except, ahem, when the rangers show up). And I adored the character, Phoebe. If you are a Dr. Who fan, you’ll like Phoebe all the more (I’ve never seen the show, but my daughter loves it and she couldn’t stop commenting on Phoebe’s T-shirts). Lastly, I think when I grow up I want to be like Sister Nedra. At the Q&A, we learned that Barta Heiner (who plays Sister Nedra) was director Maclain Nelson’s drama professor. My vote is for Heiner to create a summer drama camp for young women. Trouble is, I would want to sign up just to see what she has to say, do, and share.

Visit the Once I was a Beehive website for the full list of theaters. The show opens today in Utah and will hit national theaters in September. If your city is not listed, you can “Demand It” to come to you! –>http://bit.ly/OnceIWasABeehive-Theaters

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