Family history is a subject that interests people from all walks of life.  Learning about those who came before us tells us much about who we are.  When we record our own history, it can be just as useful and interesting to our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren as our ancestor’s histories are to us.  

Long ago, people wrote letters, recorded events in bibles and journals and kept scrapbooks to keep track of their personal histories.  These days, we have so many more options.  Blogging, the practice of keeping a personal record via an online web log, has become very popular and today’s version of scrap-booking is a way to preserve photographs using archival quality products as well as fun, artistic elements.  I have enjoyed both of these activities, as well as journal writing.  However, there is another way I keep my personal history that I find fun, informative and valuable. 

I received my first charm bracelet when I was about twelve years old.  It was a Christmas gift from “Santa Claus” and the gift included a sterling silver charm of Old St. Nick himself.  There was also a ballerina, a charm to represent my avid interest in ballet and the lessons I was taking.  The following summer, my family took a trip to Mexico and I added a charm of a Mexican sombrero to commemorate the fun time we had together. 

 I have continued to add to the bracelet over the past thirty plus years and love reflecting on the memories each charm represents.  There are charms that signify accomplishments, special events, vacations, hobbies and special memories.  One of the charms was a gift from my sister when I acted as Maid of Honor at her wedding reception.  A tiny handcart commemorates my pioneer ancestors.  For many years I wanted to learn to play the violin and when I finally did, I purchased a charm, a wee violin, to remind me of that accomplishment.

 The charms that represent the most meaningful events for me are the temple, commemorating my temple marriage to my husband, and the charms that represent my three children:  a baby shoe, a high chair and a rabbit.  I often explain the meaning of each charm to my children and look forward to adding more “history charms” to this bracelet as life unfolds.  It is a beautiful and tangible history that I hope my descendants will enjoy for generations to come.

In the end, it isn’t important how we record our personal history—it’s simply important that we do it.  Oral record keeping can be distorted and forgotten over time, whereas a written history, along with photographs and other artifacts (such as my charm bracelet) keep the story straight for all who choose to learn from what we have written.  How grateful I am for the scriptures, the Bible and the Book of Mormon in particular, both the result of people choosing to write down what they knew of Christ.  Without these cherished records, we would not know of Jesus Christ and His teachings.  When we choose to write what we know of Christ, we are recording the most valuable information our descendants could possibly have.  

I know that Christ lives.  I know that He is my Savior and my Redeemer.  I know that He knows me and that He loves me and that His gospel and His church  are true. 

The post A Mormon Woman Finds Charm In Family History appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

by Heidi~

As a busy wife and mother, I often feel as if I am besieged by dozens of voices calling me to venture off in hundreds of directions.  Then there is the voice on top of all the rest, the one that questions which voice is the one that should be attended to first, or even at all.  It can be confusing, overwhelming and exhausting.  There are times, however, when a person can feel as if she is doing the right thing at the right time and the voices go quiet; when she is taking a shower after a hard work-out (no regrets there), when she is feeding her family a delicious and nutritious meal (I should really attempt that one more often) and, for me, when I am in the temple of the Lord. 

When I am in the temple, all the other voices are silenced, including the shrill one that is always questioning my choices and agonizing over the possible negative consequences.  “Maybe I should have put off the grocery shopping until tomorrow and done more to help my son with his homework today,” says the voice.  “It would probably be better to organize the garage this morning when it’s not too hot instead of taking a much-needed nap.”  And on and on it goes.  One of the greatest blessings of the temple, in my mind, is the peace and quiet that comes with knowing that I am in the right place at the right time.  Always. 

This does not mean that there are not sometimes negative consequences to temple attendance.  There are things that might not get enough attention or do not get done when and as they should, and there is always a concern when there are people in our home who need our care on a regular basis from whom we have taken time away.  Sometimes, the house you just cleaned up for the babysitter is in total chaos when you return home or an important phone call was missed or other things needing our attention are temporarily neglected.  Yet, if temple attendance were not a sacrifice, the blessings we receive through our attendance would not be as great.

Everyone who attends the temple sacrifices one or more of the following:  time, both that which is spent in the temple and the time spent getting to and from, money for transportation, whether by car or bus or some other means, or to pay a babysitter to be with your children, and/or energy that could be otherwise spent on things or situations that seem more urgent or pressing.  However, it is because we are willing to sacrifice in order to serve in the temple of God that we are blessed.  Sometimes the blessings are immediate simply through the peace I feel when I am there.  Sometimes it comes through the answer to an anguished prayer.  Sometimes, still, there are times when pushing aside my everyday responsibilities in order to go to the temple seems to lead directly to trouble and chaos.  When that happens, I hold fast to my faith in knowing that blessings directly related to my sacrifice await me and that the burden I endure in order to attend the temple will be relieved ten-fold in some unexpected or unimagined way.

In the end, the sacrifices I make in order to attend the temple are really more of an investment, the dividends of which are worth far more than anything I can produce on my own.  Like all sacrifices made in order the serve the Lord, temple service is something that pays us more than we can ever give.

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Do Mormons Celebrate Halloween? Even on Sundays? ~ by Heidi

Here at Mormon Women, we receive numerous emails about Halloween in the month of October. What started out as a pagan ritual in the centuries long before the birth of Jesus Christ, has now, in the United States, become mostly a festive holiday that, through the lights, colorful costumes and fun food, brightens up the darkening days of autumn. Whether or not one celebrates Halloween is a personal preference and there is no official LDS doctrine in regards to it. Most Mormons I know think of Halloween as a fun time for children with rituals and customs that bring warmth to days that are becoming colder.

Most Mormons will dress up their children for Trick-or-Treating (a custom that includes children going from door to door to ask for candy), celebrations at school, at home, and at the church building. Some costumes are silly and some are spooky. Masks are usually avoided as they are considered dangerous, not just amongst members of the Mormon Church, but in society at large. For example, masks can make it hard to see when out Trick-or-Treating in the dark of night. They also make it hard to know the identity of a person, making it easier for a stranger to attend functions to which he/she was not invited. Also, when people feel as if they are anonymous, it can encourage negative behavior they would not normally engage in. In addition, truly scary or gory costumes are discouraged when attending functions attended by small children who might become frightened.

Many people decorate their homes just as they do at Christmastime. Some decorate outside, some decorate inside, some do both.  Some set up haunted houses within their own homes for people to tour through. Again, anything too scary is never a good idea when children are involved.

In the U.S., Halloween is a time when adults engage in a lot of drinking of alcoholic beverages. Mormons don’t. [Read more about the Mormon health code, called the Word of Wisdom.] Other than that, the only thing that is truly different about Halloween amongst Mormons is when it falls on a Sunday. In that case, the celebrations are shifted to Saturday night, or even Friday. Trick-or-Treating is limited to only Mormons as it would be rude to knock on a stranger’s  door the night before Halloween and ask for candy.

In our case, our ward (church congregation) always has a Halloween party the Friday or Saturday night before Halloween. This includes traditional games such as bobbing for apples and a costume parade. It also includes a Trunk-or-Treat, where-in the children go from car trunk to car trunk to ask for candy out in the parking lot of the church building. Many of the cars are heavily decorated and there is a prize for the best costumes as well as the best decorated car. In some wards I have attended, Trick-or-Treating is done in the building where-in each room is decorated as if it were someone’s home. It’s a fun, warm and safe solution to a night that can be a bit dangerous.

Because Halloween is on Sunday this year and our ward is having a party on Saturday night, the ward members have decided to pass out candy to the children who knock on their door on Friday night. Come Sunday night, some Mormons will choose to turn off their porch light, a signal that no candy will be given at that particular home. However, most will have a bowl of candy ready for the children of the neighborhood who come knocking on their doors.

To our Mormon readers, jump in and share your response to this question. Do you celebrate Halloween? If so, what do you do when it falls on a Sunday?

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As a woman with a family and home to take care of, I often feel overwhelmed.  As a Mormon woman who has the words of the prophets, both ancient and modern day, to guide her through a confusing world, I am uplifted.  This is why I so look forward to General Conference every six months.

General Conference is not only an opportunity for my family to “attend” church in our pajamas while listening to the words of the General Authorities of the church from my living room (via the T.V. or computer), it is also a time when these voices fill my home with their spirit, strength, and power.  It is a time when I can count on hearing talk after talk that speak to my soul and at least one or two that will feel as if the speaker is directing his comments to me personally.  I always hear something that helps me with the current trial or challenge I am going through, the answer to a question, a puzzle . . . a prayer.

There were many talks that stood out to me in the most recent session of General Conference that was held this past weekend.  However, one in particular, the talk of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, a counselor in the Presidency of the church, was, to me, a tender mercy.

President Uchtdorf’s talk, “Of Things that Matter Most,” focused on the truth that, in nature, things must slow down in times of stress.  For example, the rings of a tree are thinner during times of drought, indicating less energy went into the thickening of the tree as opposed to the essentials, such as, feeding the branches and leaves and preserving the roots.  Another example he gave that demonstrates how we, as human beings, do better to slow down at times was that of the speed bump in a parking lot.  We must slow down to preserve the cars balance and the safety of those within.  If we go too fast over a speed bump, we can veer off course.

As a woman who has many challenges in her life, many of them common to most as well as many of them that are not, I often tend to fall into the trap of believing that I must keep up the pace and proceed as if all is normal when they just aren’t.  It is very difficult to have differences in your household that prevent you from enjoying the same lifestyle as those around you.  It sometimes makes me want things that I can’t have at this time in my life.  Even worse, I often feel like a slacker, a flake, a whiner and someone who is looked down on because I can’t keep up with my neighbors, friends, and family members who don’t deal with the same burdens I bear.  I struggle to find a balance between doing all that I am merely capable of in any given day and all that I feel I must be crossing off my “to do” list.   So often, the gap between the two is immense.

However, after listening to the words of a servant of the Lord, I felt the spirit confirm to me the truthfulness of President Uchtdorf’s message:  when we put our time, energy, focus and attention into those things that are most important—the varied needs of everyone in my household (including myself) as well as my relationships with my husband, children, my Heavenly Father, and my Savior–the incomparable blessings of the Atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ will take care of the rest.

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I love to garden, not only because I adore flowers, but because the act of gardening teaches me so many things about life. Growing plants is much like raising children but there is more; gardening helps me to slow down and put things into perspective.

Recently we had a bit of a crisis in the garden. The spigot I turn on and off to allow water to flow through the hose I use to give my plants life-giving water, broke.

It had not been working for quite some time. In fact, it had been leaking quite a lot for years. My husband and I went to the hardware store and purchased a new spigot some years ago. However, when we got it home, we realized that we would need to actually cut a hole in the wall of the house and cut the pipe, the one the spigot was attached to, in order to make the switch from the old, leaky spigot to the new one.

Believing that the repair was too hard for our limited skills and not having the money to pay a plumber, we chose to ignore the problem.

Soon, the leaking became worse.  When I turned it on, the spigot would spray water in all directions. My way of dealing with this was to fit a bucket up under the spigot, held in place by the air conditioning unit just below, and to use the water that accumulated in the bucket to water the larger plants in my garden. I chose to use this system for a number of years, in spite of the fact that it was heavy and burdensome which caused pain in my shoulders and elbows.

Then, one day last week, the problem became a crisis and could no longer be ignored. The spigot broke so that it could not be turned off and water sprayed all over the yard at great speed. We had no choice but to cut off the water supply to our house and make a trip to the hardware store. In the end, we were faced with the same choice; buy a new spigot, make a hole in the wall and cut the pipe so the new spigot could be properly attached. Since this is not our area of expertise, it took a great deal of effort on our part including hours spent without water to our house, to achieve this repair, but we did it!

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After it was all done and I was enjoying watering my garden without needing to heave that heavy, water-filled bucket around the yard, I chided myself for not making the repair earlier. How could I have not done what needed to be done so long ago? It took a full-blown crisis before we were willing—forced—to address the problem. In the end, we were able to do it—it was only our fear that got in our way in the past.

I reflected on how often our choices in life are dictated by fear. How often do we refrain from doing something because we are afraid we will fail or that it will be too hard or that our efforts will all be in vain?

Sin is like a heavy bucket filled with water, water we do NOT need to carry around. Repair is like repentance, something we are often afraid to attempt because it might be hard or too much will be asked of us—or we fear that it will avail us not.

In the New Testament of the Bible, 2 Peter 3:9, we read:  The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Knowing that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, wants us to repent, how can we fail?

The post A Mormon Woman’s Reflections on Gardening . . . and Repentance appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Heidi

I will forever be grateful to my ancestors who joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints long ago and for all that they sacrificed so that I could grow up with the gospel in my household.  One of my most illustrious ancestors is Daniel Tyler who is known for his book The Concise History of the Mormon Battalion.  He served as the sergeant of Company C of the Battalion and kept a vivid account of all their doings.

He was born in 1819 and was introduced to the Book of Mormon through a meeting he attended at his neighbor’s house.  The Mormon missionaries were there and Daniel, aged 15 at the time, picked up the book and began to read.  It took only a few pages in order for him to feel a strong desire to be baptized into the church but his father was opposed to it.  Later his sister braved her father’s objections and joined the church.  Soon, their parents and brothers followed.  Daniel, however, was still afraid to tell his father the secret he had harbored in his heart for months.

Finally, Daniel’s father asked him a question.  Daniel writes, “On my father asking if it was not hard for my sister, parents and brothers to leave me, I broke completely down and wept aloud.  I was baptized the following Wednesday.”

Daniel Tyler was instrumental in the building up of the church in Europe.  He was called to serve as a mission president of the Italian/Swiss/German/French Mission in 1854.  While there, he received a letter from Professor Karl G. Maeser, a German citizen who was interested in the church.  Professor Maeser was subsequently baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints, emigrated to Utah, and was one of the founding fathers of Brigham Young Academy, now known as B.Y.U.

Despite his stony expression and military stance in the photo above, Daniel Tyler was a kind man who loved to share his testimony with others.  He suffered many trials and tribulations in the course of his life but he never denied his testimony of the gospel.  I am so thankful for men like him who endured many hardships to bring the gospel to so many.

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Not long ago I emailed my father with a question having to do with a project I was attempting at my house.  The next morning he was at my door to help get it fixed in spite of the two hour drive to and from. It was a strong reminder to me that my father loves me and is waiting for me to ask for what I need so he can be of service to me.

It was also a powerful metaphor for the Father in Heaven we all share; He who wants nothing more than to bless us with His love, His guidance, His forgiveness and all the tender mercies He has in store for us–if we but ask.  There have been many times in my life when my Heavenly Father has blessed me with what I needed and often times, what I have wanted.  These events are particularly close to my heart because they were blessings that showed me how much my Heavenly Father is aware of me as His daughter, of my particular joys and sorrows, and how much He loves me, as He does each one of us.

One example in particular stands out more than the rest.  I had suffered a disappointment that I learned of in a sudden and seemingly unfair manner. I felt heart-broken and I spent much of the day crying. After my husband and children were asleep that night, I was still weeping over my lost opportunity, one that I felt was denied me because of a large and challenging responsibility under which I daily labored. Ironically, the lost opportunity was one I felt would have relieved my burden to a small extent. It seemed particularly unfair that something that might have brought me relief was withheld from me because of that very same burden.

Thoroughly miserable, I got on my knees and expressed to my Father in Heaven all my woes. Feeling I had nothing to lose, I spoke not only of my lost opportunity, but also dared to ask for a blessing I had dared not ask before because I was so afraid the answer would be an unbearable “no”; was there a way for my large and heavy burden to be lessened or relieved in some way?

There are no words to fully describe my joy when the answer came back to me: Yes! It was so loud and clear, it felt almost as if my Heavenly Father was as happy I had asked as I was to be granted my request. My heart was bursting with elation such that I felt as if it would break out of my chest. I also felt an incredible lightness, both in lack of weight and in brightness. It were as if my entire being was filled with a light that threatened to pull me up into the sky like a basket bobbing after a hot air balloon.

The hows and the whys were questions to be addressed as the days progressed. The onerous burden was indeed eased in very specific ways and, some time later, the same lovely opportunity I had so wanted came my way.  Oh, how loved I felt!  And by someone whose love I had felt so strongly, my being could not hold it all.

The post I Have a Father in Heaven Who Loves Me–and I Love Him appeared first on Women in The Church of Jesus Christ.

~by Heidi

A couple of years ago, my husband and I took our children to spend a week in a castle–in California!

It had real turrets . . .

and medieval style carvings . . .

An actual dungeon . . .

weathered stone steps, slippery with moss that led down to  . . .

the moat!

We had picnics on the beach along the river . . .

played in the water that made such beautiful music, night and day . . .

played games  . . .

and enjoyed being out in nature as much as possible.

The castle was a wonderful place to stay because it was so close to the beach.

We also went for a ride on a real train . . .

spent some time at our favorite amusement park. . .

(they don’t look very amused–I think they might be nervous)

and had the chance to spend time with some favorite cousins.

Summertime is family time because we can be outdoors away from the television and other indoor distractions.

What does your family do for family time?

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I love flowers, particularly roses.  I have planted roses before but until recently, I had never had the space to plant a large, climbing rose.  Finally, after decades of waiting, I finally had a home that had the perfect spot for a climbing rose!  With great anticipation, I chose a rose variety that would grow to cover an entire arch–up, across and down the other side–ordered it, assembled my trellis, painted it white and waited.

At last my rose arrived in bare root form and I planted it next to my newly painted arch.  The first year, my rose–the one that was supposed to span 18 feet–grew only a few feet.  In the photo above, it is easy to measure the level of my disappointment when you compare the size of the branch against the wall to the soaring heights of the arched trellis it was meant to cover.  By the end of summer that first year, I almost dug it up in disgust.  However, remembering that many roses need time to establish themselves, I decided to wait and see what happened the following year.

By the end of the second summer, one green branch had reached the top of the arch.  I was thrilled when a few sweet, pink roses bloomed in early spring, but again, I  felt cheated since this particular rose was meant to be a repeat bloomer.  Yet, the handful of roses it produced were so lovely, I decided to wait one more year.

The following spring, my rose bush went into overdrive.  Multiple canes of leafy green spanned the top of the arch and one even continued down the other side.  I can’t adequately express my sense of intense anticipation when I saw the hundreds upon hundreds of tightly bound buds that sprung into view.  There were so many branches, I set up a second trellis to take the overflow.  Every day I scrutinized the now towering bush for signs of immediate bloom.  I felt like a kid in a candy store and wanted to jump up and down with joy when all my waiting finally came to an end.

Now, as I revel in the beauty of my roses, I think back on the two years it took to produce the desired result.  Looking back, it seems such a short time to invest in something so glorious.  Yet, the waiting seemed so long.

Gardening is  much like raising children–we nurture, we feed, we teach and we love.  So often we must wait  to know that all of our efforts have been of great worth.  There are other things in life that is like this.  Whether rearing children or participating in other worthy efforts, it can be tempting to give up, to quit, to let it go, when so much of what we do seems to amount to nothing.  However, if we give up too soon, we will miss the abundance that awaits us.  Oftentimes, it is the things that we wait longest for that are the greatest treasures.

As I work at becoming a Christlike person–the most important project of all–I remind myself to be patient, that even though my efforts often don’t seem to bear sufficient fruit, the longer the road, the deeper the imprint to my soul.   I consider this as I enoy my roses and know that good things come to those who wait.

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As one of eight children, seven of them girls, and having been born only a few minutes after daughter number five, I  might have grown up with an inferiority complex. Though I did have insecurities about how my peers saw or felt about me, I never once considered the possibility that I was unwanted or not needed or was regarded as extra by my parents in any way.  I knew I was here on earth for a reason, a purpose, and according to a plan that was bigger than myself.

It has been such a blessing in my life to know that my Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan for me that can lead me back into His presence.  Knowing this, how could I doubt for one moment that I was born to the right family, at the right time, in the right place, regardless of the abundance of daughters my parents already enjoyed?  When I received my patriarchal blessing at the age of sixteen, I was not at all surprised to learn that this knowledge was a special gift that had been bestowed upon me from birth.

The giving of patriarchal blessings is a tradition in the Mormon Church just as it was in biblical times.  (Two examples in the Old Testament are in Genesis chapter 27 when Isaac blesses Jacob and chapter 49 when Jacob reveals to his sons what their futures held.)  The term “patriarch” refers to the male head of the family as well as a characteristic of a man who is older or higher in rank.  Amongst Mormons, patriarchal blessings are given by a man who has been called as a Patriarch [an office in the Melchizedek Priesthood] for a particular geographical area of the Church.  Generally, the Patriarch will not have met the recipient of the blessing beforehand and depends solely on inspiration from the Holy Ghost to guide him.  He lays his hands upon the head of the individual he is to bless and speaks aloud the words that he is inspired, through fasting and prayer, to say.  An audio recording is made and typed up, who then mails the written blessing to the recipient to keep near at hand for guidance and encouragement throughout their lives. These blessings are also kept by the Church and can become a precious part of family history records.

A patriarchal blessing includes information regarding a number of things that are important to us as Mormons/Latter-day Saints, not the least of which is learning of our personal lineage in the House of Israel.

“Each member of the Church inherits spiritual blessings and responsibilities through one of the twelve tribes of Israel. By inspiration from the Spirit, the patriarch declares the tribe through which you will receive these blessings. This lineage is not determined simply by your race or nationality. Members of the same genetic family can be from different tribes of Israel. This lineage often has to do with your responsibilities in the Lord’s kingdom. Many members of the Church are of the lineage of Ephraim, Manasseh, or Judah . . .  (Robert K Wagstaff, “When Should I Get My Patriarchal Blessing?,” New Era, Aug 2009, 10–12).

We also look to our blessings for guidance which is specific to that particular individual as well as information regarding our personal gifts, such as my gift of knowledge.  These are not the words of a fortuneteller, but that of a wise man who, through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, says what the Lord would have us know about ourselves as we are now and as we can become in the future.  This is a sacred event; specific contents are shared with only close family members.

My husband and I requested that our developmentally disabled son be given his patriarchal blessing at age twelve as his challenges in life made it very difficult for us to know how to best help him.  This request was granted and his blessing has done much to guide us in knowing what to expect and what to prepare him for.  We have also been very comforted to know what blessings we can expect him to receive in this life and the next.  It has made a very difficult job of parenting him a much more do-able one.

My personal blessing, for which I am so very grateful, also gives me much comfort, direction and guidance through the storms of life.  It helps to keep me on course by reminding me of—

1.   Who I am—a much loved daughter of God

2.  Why I am here—to learn what I need to know in order to regain His presence

3.  The blessings I can expect to receive in this life as well as my responsibilities

4.  The glorious gifts set aside for me in the next life if I am faithful in my obedience to His commandments

I know that God chooses faithful servants to seek His counsel in the giving of these precious blessings and that the words spoken in my blessing and that of others are personal scripture that can lead us and guide us towards the ultimate goal of living again in the presence of God.

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**Please note: The answers in “Ask a Mormon Woman” and (other content on this site) reflect the thoughts and perspectives of the administrators at Mormon Women. Although we strive to have our content consistent with the Church’s doctrine and teachings, we do not speak officially for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For official information about or from the Church, please visit www.mormon.org or www.lds.org.

For more Ask a Mormon Woman questions/answers, please click here.

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For more official Church information about patriarchal blessings, you can read the following on lds.org:

James E. Faust: Patriarchal Blessings

Patriarchal Blessings (index entry)

Boyd K. Packer: The Stake Patriarch

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