By: mormonwomen

mormonwomen — Fri, 28 Feb 2014 23:29:56 +0000

Charles, thanks for your comment. I would like to add to it given what I have seen in the patterns for wives. In reality, the wives also need their own support networks. Men in addiction need to seek their own recovery and have their own network and allow their wives the space to do the same. Over time, as they each seek their own healing, they are more able to support each other. Often, too, it is healthy boundaries, not necessarily just more love and affection, that can make a difference — not with guilt or shaming, but with clarity and a firmness to say “This is not healthy and not ok and you can get help but you need to make that choice” kind of a way.

By: Charles

Charles — Fri, 28 Feb 2014 12:23:11 +0000

Sister, nothing you did caused him to do that, even if you have extra fat on you. Pornography is a cause of lack of self worth. people who have these feelings look for an outlet. It acts as a drug or as alcohol, though is a mental and physical stimulant. Even if you had the most beautiful marriage it’s possible for either person to have that addiction due to past experiences. People revert to these things because of a lack of emotional standing. When you don’t have proper support, loving friends/family, you look to these things to find some sort of relief. It’s not your fault he does that, he just doesn’t know any better. If he is placing blame on you it’s because he doesn’t want to feel guilt and he doesn’t know how to handle the shame/guilt of it. give it time and be patient with him. Show him love and affection and eventually he will want to give it up. The guilt/blame placing is the cause of rebellion.

Comments on: WoPA Week: This Addiction is Not About You

By: mormonwomen

By: Charles