Comments on: When a Husband is Addicted to Porn | Hope for LDS Women

By: Baby1cowgirl

Baby1cowgirl — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 10:04:58 +0000

Thank you for this article! It comforts me that I am not alone in experiencing this with my husband. I am a recovering porn addict of many years within my younger years. I can honestly say that I cannot remember what it was like going through the recovery process, but looking back on it now the Lord definitely blessed me not to remember maybe for the fact that it was so hard to recover. But now that my husband and I are working on his issue with this same thing that I went through, I’m praying that he can find that light to the other side of the tunnel and know that there is a chance of getting through this together.

By: mormonwomen

mormonwomen — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:11:42 +0000

In reply to Ron DeHaas. Ron, thanks for sharing those free resources. We appreciate the work that Covenant Eyes does.

By: Ron DeHaas

Ron DeHaas — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 18:58:57 +0000

Hi,
You mentioned “again, if you have a blog or website that addresses this topic, let us know so that we could consider it as a resource to share with others.” I think you would be interested in a number of the free resources at covenanteyes.com (Covenant Eyes provides Internet accountability and filtering):
1. an e-book “Hope After Porn – restoring marriages after porn” (http://www.covenanteyes.com/hope-after-porn-how-their-marriages-were-saved/)
2. e-book called “Porn and your husband – a recovery guide” (http://www.covenanteyes.com/marriage-advice-my-husband-watches-porn/)
3. numerous blog entries at
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/
4. for more info, contact Luke Gilkerson, luke.gilkerson@covenanteyes.com

By: Sara

Sara — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:55:37 +0000

Anonymous –
My heart aches for you… it sounds like your husband is just done being married and perhaps it’s what is needed for him to get his act together? I would suggest that you put things on the back burner for now because right now, your baby and your other sweet one need their mommy. I’m not saying go into denial about things or just ignore things because that’s not healthy. However, the time and energy needs to be spent on taking of your kids and you right now. While I am glad (as you seem to be glad) that he is not going to leave until after the baby is born, that has got to hurt like nothing else. I hope that you and he will sit down together and figure out what he needs to do (be specific!) to support you, the newborn and the little child when he leaves. He is responsible for helping bringing them into the world, he needs to accept responsibility for maintaining and nurting those sweet spirits for a lifetime.

Has he considered perhaps just doing a separation? Rather than doing the divorce thing? Has he given you any reasons why he’s not in love with you? Why he says he’s done with the marriage? In looking back, have there been any signs?Are you guys doing any type of marital counseling together?

I know I’ve asked a lot of questions and you’re not obligated to share your answers. I ask because sometimes we just need to get our minds thinking in a different track in order to begin our own healing process, you know? Again, focus on your wee ones. I’ll add you to my prayers. Dealing with one’s porn addictions is hard enough without everything else. If you want to contact me, please do so. I’m here to help.

By: patient woman

patient woman — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 13:34:15 +0000

I am a woman who learned only truly of her husbands addiction to porn a few years ago around the same time my husband was diagnosed with severe depression and whilst I can say it has been a very trying, challenging time which often seems like a blur. I can say I feel he is moving forward and our relationship most of the time is moving forward. Sometimes we just have to take it a day at a time. I realised recently that the lord blessed me with extreme patience and its not until this stage in my life that I understand why.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:23:00 +0000

This is a very tender topic as I found this post while trying to find some sense and hope for my current situation. I am 33 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old ay home. At 20 weeks, I found out that my baby has a congenital heart defect which will result in several surgeries after birth.

My marriage has always struggled, but I love my husband more then anything and with this devastating need, we grew closer.

About two weeks ago, he tells me he doesn’t love me, has never really loved me and no longer wants to be w part of this marriage. After much back and forth, he has decided to stay until our baby is born and then leave. In the meantime, he has agreed to seek counseling with the guidance of our bishop. This decision made me hopeful for a change of heart. After his first appointment today, he revealed that he is seeing this counselor for his addiction to pornography. He says his feelings for me have still not changed and he still plans to leave me with s toddler and newborn baby with severe illness.

I hsve found comfort in my Heavenly Father through prayer but am heartbroken. I am seeing w counselor but with the coming of our baby right around the corner, I don’t see my husband changing his heart or mind.

By: no-name

no-name — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:16:36 +0000

I just want to echo that I know it is possible for an addict to recover. My husband is on his way there, but I’m not comfortable saying he is there yet. At first I thought it was my fault and my responsibility. Since then I have learned to turn it over to Christ and allow the atonement to heal us. I am so grateful that my husband was willing to take responsibility for his actions, work hard to resist temptation and be fully honest with me. Unfortunately not all are willing to do that, but I know that by handing it over to Christ we can find comfort, healing and understanding.

By: Anna

Anna — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:55:09 +0000

Its been 10yrs since I lost the battle with my exes addiction. I’m remarred to a wonderful man…. But I’m still haunted.

By: mormonwomen

mormonwomen — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:00:38 +0000

Casha, I’m sorry to hear about what you have been through. Unfortunately, many marriages do end because of this addiction.

I don’t want to make your pain any worse, but I think it’s important for people to know, however, that many addicts do find recovery. Many marriages are able to stay intact, too.

I want to clarify something, too, about this post. While we will share resources for addicts as well, our goal is not to ‘fight porn addiction among men’ but rather to help women know that they can find healing, and that they *need* to seek for that healing.

I hope you have had a chance to find the support and help you need to heal from what you have been through; even though the marriage is over, your own personal journey of healing may not be. I hope you will stay tuned for the stories and resources we will share. Maybe something will be of help to you, too.

By: Casha R

Casha R — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:05:49 +0000

Kudos on your attempt to fight porn addiction among Mormon men. I personally know one man who did overcome this addiction, albeit via a long and quite difficult road he had to travel to get where he is today.

Unfortunately I wasn’t strong enough to overcome my ex-husband’s addiction to porn… which is why he’s my ex-husband.