Congratulations on your baptism. It is a courageous thing to do to take this leap of faith, alone. It’s okay to feel nervous about the unknown. You aren’t the only one who has wondered and worried about temple garments.

I sense there is more to your concerns that I can’t presume to understand through a simple comment, but I also want to answer your questions directly, to start out my response. Once you do go through the temple for your own endowment (which comes no sooner than a year after your baptism, and usually in preparation for marriage or a mission, or when you and your bishop feel you are ready), wearing the garment can be as much a symbol of the gift you have received as it is a reminder of the covenants you have made in the temple. The symbolism of the temple is rich and layered and the process of discovering its meaning is deeply personal. The process of taking fears and concerns to God is also very personal.

I say that because the wonder of this path you are entering into is that it really is just the beginning of a process of discovery. That process will happen as you take your concerns, fears, questions — as well as your joys, triumphs, and gratitude — directly to God. He will put people, resources into your path, as well as give you insight and inspiration directly through your own thoughts and feelings and experiences.

After your baptism, you will receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and that gift can be a treasured blessing for you as you continue forward, line upon line, in this process of discovery.

I think of a dear friend of mine who converted at about the same age and stage of life as you, and it seemed in some ways that joining the Church only opened up more questions for her, even as she converted because of the many answers the restoration of the gospel provided for her.

One of the things I love most about her is how she has shown me, perhaps more than anyone I know, that God is there and will help us navigate our questions.

My hope for you is this — that you can move forward in faith simply and boldly with what you know, today. It’s ok to not want to wear garments today. That is not what you are being asked to do at this point in your journey. Sometimes God gives us just enough to help us know what next step to take, but He won’t necessarily give us the whole package all at once. But your boldness in your statement that, “I chose to convert” to me says it all. You chose it for a reason, and that can be enough for now.

I keep thinking about this talk by Elder Neil L. Andersen, “You Know Enough.” Here’s a snippet:

Our spiritual journey is the process of a lifetime. We do not know everything in the beginning or even along the way. Our conversion comes step-by-step, line upon line. We first build a foundation of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We treasure the principles and ordinances of repentance, baptism, and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. We include a continuing commitment to prayer, a willingness to be obedient, and an ongoing witness of the Book of Mormon. (The Book of Mormon is powerful spiritual nourishment.)

We then remain steady and patient as we progress through mortality. At times, the Lord’s answer will be, “You don’t know everything, but you know enough”—enough to keep the commandments and to do what is right. Remember Nephi’s words: “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.”

I will be thinking of you today and praying for you. God is aware of you and your questions, fears, and needs — and He is so very aware of your courage in this step you are taking today. Trust Him. He will guide you every step along the way.

Michelle
Editor

If you feel like sharing, what do you find puzzling about our doctrine?

Thanks for your response in return. I understand what you mean – sometimes it can be hard to have someone you love have beliefs that are different from yours. But I also believe much good can come from having conversations, and from gaining understanding, and also learning to build on the good in each others’ lives and beliefs, even as we are unafraid to say, “I disagree on that.”

Thanks for engaging in this conversation.

~Michelle

I do thank you for your willingness to respond to me and I am glad to have had these conversations with you.

Thank you for the follow-up. I apologize for misreading your comment. This medium is limited and tone/intent are sometimes hard to ‘hear’ through printed words alone. It is true that some of the things you have brought up *are* used as attack points; I’m grateful to know that that is not your intent. Once again, I apologize for jumping to conclusions with your comments.

As to 1 Cor. 15:29, obviously we look at that scripture differently (at least to some extent), although the context (understanding the Greek’s beliefs and Paul’s focused teaching for them) is also valuable.

This piece at the Washington Post by Michael Otterson explores more of what baptism for the dead means to us. Perhaps it will be of interest to you. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/guest-voices/post/what-baptism-for-the-dead-means-to-mormons/2012/02/23/gIQA2sIaVR_blog.html

~Michelle (I keep forgetting to sign my name to my comments!)